I shivered in the cold cathedral.
…So that's what happened…
A lot of things made sense now too...
Gulping down the lump formed in my throat I stood up.
"Child, what's the matter?"
"...Chronos, I stand by my decision. I want to reverse time."
I could feel him staring at me. "...That goes against what Claudina hoped for."
"Look at me, Chronos!" My voice echoed. "Do you really think I will be able to live like this? Without Claudina there is no me! Even if it's something she wanted I didn't!"
"...You and Claudina…are more alike than I thought…She died for you because you died for her. I am sure she is screaming at you from the beyond."
I smiled sadly. "She probably is…but she never understood that my happiness lies with her."
"Lord Chronos I promise, if I can go back not only will I save her but I too will live well."
"...And if I don't wish to believe it?"
"Then I will join her in the afterlife. I will apologize to Lucian. He deserves better."
He shook his head. "...Unfortunately I can't allow you to do that."
"..."
"After returning she came back to when she was four. I am not sure of the details but she stopped the fall of your house but during that you nearly died. Then she barged in the temple and made me swear an oath; that no matter what happened I won't let nor allow you to die."
He gazed at me, face unreadable. "Child live as she how wanted you to. By not doing so you're insulting her good will."
"...Then what about her? Does she not also deserve the same happiness as me? Tell me Lord Chronos. Haven't you come to care about her when she was your Saintess? Don't you want her to be happy as well?"
"...I do. That is why I did what I had to do." He started to stand up. "Come, we have been away for too long."
I didn't move. Does this mean…I will never see her again?
Water clouded my eyes.
Alone, I sit in the cold embrace of the cathedral, my heart heavy with guilt and despair. The echoes of the grand banquet held in my honor reverberate through the halls, a stark contrast to the emptiness that now fills my soul. The flickering candlelight casts eerie shadows, dancing in rhythm with the turmoil that churns within me.
…Why did you think I could be happy with you gone, Claudina?
…Why did you think any of these would make me happy?
…How cruel of you…
The weight of guilt bears down upon me, an unbearable burden that whispers dark thoughts into my mind. Thoughts of ending my own life, of escaping the pain and guilt that gnaw at my very core.
CREEEEAK.
…did someone come in?...
"Saintess?"
Don't call me that…that title was rightfully Claudina's.
"Saintess?"
…I really don't want to deal with this…
I turned around only to be pushed back to the ground. Hitting my head hard on the stone floor I peek at my assailant. It was the same maid. The one who threatened me. Her face was obscured in darkness but I could make out her wide sharp grin.
"I thought you might have been able to convince that old fool but really you turn out to be more useless than I thought!"
With her hands around my neck I struggled to speak. "Who are you?! And why are you doing this to me?"
She slammed my head. "Shut up! You killed her and yet you dare to speak! It should have been you who had died!!"
I stopped trying to claw her hands off my neck. Removing them I let them fall to my sides.
"Please kill me. I am too much of a coward to take my own life."
"Hah! Such a selfish girl! Not being able to take your own life you want others to live with a guilty conscience." She tightened her grip.
I closed my eyes and prepared to meet Claudina…
"But killing you like this will it really be worth it? Someone who longs for death…" her hands released my neck and walked away. "...How about I truly make you yearn for it?"
She mocks my desire to escape the pain, asserting that only she can decide my fate.
I sat down on my elbows and saw her draw twin daggers out from her pockets.
"Stand up. We are going to battle it out and see whether you deserve to die."
…How many hours has it been?...
Short puffs of breath left my lungs more empty. There were white spots in my vision. I could taste the metallic blood trickling down my face.
In front of me, she didn't look tired at all.
Magic courses through my veins, and I conjure bows and arrows, forged from concentrated mana. With each shot, I pour my frustration and self-loathing into the attacks, as if the arrows themselves carry my inner turmoil. My attacker wields twin daggers, a dance of deadly precision that matches the chaotic storm raging within me.
We clash, the cathedral walls bearing witness to our struggle. The sound of clashing steel and crackling magic fills the air, a symphony of conflict that mirrors the turmoil within my heart. I fight with a ferocity born from desperation, each strike an attempt to release the pent-up agony that threatens to consume me. But my attacker is no slouch either, her agility and skill a testament to her determination.
Blood mingles with the magic in the air, a macabre tapestry woven from pain and suffering.
"...Claudina wasn't supposed to die that day…She was never meant to die in this universe in the first place…yet she did so…in exchange of YOURS!" she spat out venom in her words.
And in a way, I find myself silently agreeing with her accusation.
Perhaps, in my heart of hearts, I believe I should have been the one to pay for the sins I've committed.
As the battle rages on, details become a blur. We exchange blows, each attack leaving its mark on our bodies and souls. Blood mingles with the magic that hangs in the air, a gruesome painting of pain and suffering.
Despite the violence, a strange sort of camaraderie forms, as if we're two sides of the same coin, both grappling with our own demons.
An odd connection forms, a twisted bond of shared torment.
A single spider web connects our soul, our agony.
Amidst the chaos, I can't help but notice the irony. The saintess, meant to embody purity and righteousness, locked in a battle stained with darkness and self-hate.
But all battles must come to an end.
In the final moments, our attacks become sluggish, our strength waning. I am fatally injured, my body unable to withstand the onslaught any longer.
Blood stained my once pristine clothes. Both my cap and staff were lost in the fight.
Unable to bear my own weight I slipped down and fell hard on my back.
Too exhausted to move I could hear her coming closer, the booming clacks of her shoes creating the toll of upcoming doom.
She stood directly in front of my head. Both of us were silently staring at one another.
"...Will you kill me now?"
Though in the shadows I couldn't see her face I could feel her glaring at me. "You don't deserve a death so easily…"
"Then do you forgive me?" I don't know what compelled me to say it.
"I feel nothing towards you. Not anger. Not sadness. Nothing." She looked up. "If this isn't forgiveness what else could it be?"
The daggers in her hand glinted. She twirled it so the sharp blade was positioned above my neck.
…Ah...Claudina I hope you forgive me...
I closed my eyes for the coming blow.