Can a woman get a penis implant? Yes she can and that' what I went through. I achieved the successful transformation in one of the most famous hospitals in Los Angeles that helped me to go through surgical phalloplasty (a surgical procedure from female to male). I also had sex reassignment surgery. Even though it was never my choice to become a trans-woman, due to the burns I incurred I needed to change and be accustomed to being a man.
I attended psychotherapy. I know beforehand that I am a bi-sexual but believed to be more attracted to women than men. I was advised by my doctor to begin hormone therapy. I was encouraged to live publicly as a member of the opposite sex. After a year of being comfortable living as a man, I finally had genital, thigh and breasts surgeries.
My doctor advised to take my hormone medication religiously to reduce the effects of 'dysphoria' (a delusion transgender people struggle to change but unchangeable or what we call gender or sex identity crisis). That's why after taking the said medications, I felt better and in the long run, I accepted the new 'me'. Like a miracle my body and brain began aligning. I now behave like a man but though I am still feminine inside, I am a full grown man on the outside. I felt very different too. In my experience I need to live in my preferred male gender for a year. I changed my name to Gin Lawrence, since my stage name was Jodie Moon.
Though my real name was Jodie, I used my last name Lawrence now for my second identity who I know will be my permanent, me, from now on. I lived, worked, mingled, dated and had sex with women as what men do in a regular basis.
But I never felt anything, only remorse and shame. I needed someone who truly loves me and I know what my heart wants, Alexa. I one time visited my friends and they were so shocked they couldn't believe I am me, a gorgeous male as a matter of fact. Basil and Sanjay were doubly surprised, nearly fainted when they saw me and my, you know!. I am one of the guys now. It felt so weird and well! I'm still trying to get used to this body.
That was nearly two years ago since I moped and cried coping with my struggles within and finally accepted the new, improvised, beautiful, male me. About Verne? Well, when he heard the news I died, I didn't hear from him again. He didn't even try to check on me at the hospital when I was in delirium. I heard he dated and married my P.A. Jessica. He and her had a moment when we were in one of my photo shoots at Hernnan Resort in Boracay. I'm happy for him honestly.
I had many expensive surgeries. The doctors needed to work on my breasts, uterus and my ovaries were removed in two separate procedures. To run me into a male I needed to undergo 'Neophallus' where doctors constructed my organ using a tissue from my fore arm to allow me to feel sexual sensation. They extended my urethra to allow standing urination, like what men usually do. This was the most expensive of all surgeries .
To be called as a male transsexual, first I endured sub cutaneous, mastectomy, vaginectomy, scrotoplasty and penile reconstruction, with radial forearm flap. It took a year for my penile (erection) prosthesis and testicular prosthesis surgery can be implanted when sensation has returned to the tip of the penis.
All is working perfectly now. I tried my....for the first time in a secluded bar in New York, but I ended up peeing beside him at the men's restroom. I was really drunk then. I also tried to get laid in a gay bar but I got frustrated when instead of women, I always ended up with either a lesbian or a bi-sexual who overpowered and threw me all over the room.
My God I was really scared to death. But one night, out of my frustration I went to a regular coffee shop just to hang and all. I met Jill, the sexy girl behind the cashier, with bosoms protruding her skimpy and tight uniform. She just gave me a wink after giving me my coffee and her number in a napkin.
We made it out in her apartment and walla! I had my first time with a hottie. She did the most part, I didn't know how to feel but the sensation is hundred times more than when I am a woman. I wonder how this feels if I were with Alexa. Hmm! Okay wait, I'm still with err!!!, Jill, right!. Okay almost there, almost there! , Aahhhhh! Done! She moaned and moaned that I got deaf with shouts of pleasure. Yet I felt empty, hallow than before. I slept beside the girl from the coffee shop and when I woke, I slid back to my clothes, ran to the door and never looked back.
But since my desires for Alexa wasn't met, I desired for her more and became more hungry for sex than ever. So I had sex with one girl after another. I was called a player and even artists I produce would cling and flung themselves all over me. So what a gorgeous man like me to do. I give them what they want and fulfill their carnal desires. However, my soul became wearier and sadder as I slept with every girl in town. And I want to stop but I can't because I'm searching for the 'one'. My only love to soothe my pains, to ease my longing for her. Alexa! Alexa! Where are you my Alex! So much for dating and banging girls at bars and coffee shops.
God is so good and the universe answered my prayers because I found Alex or she found me, of all places, in Paris, the city of Love and where all things happen in unexpected or magical ways because of love. It's been three years since I last saw her and as if it's just yesterday. I remem- ber the days when I was with her, kissing, making love to her. Those were the days when I was so happy, content being with her, having her in my life, my forever, my Alex, my baby...
Rrrringgggg! Alex was running toward her cellphone to get it. Hello!, Oh!, Edmund! Ofcourse...Yes I'm still in Paris, at the Ritz. Well! It's a first class hotel, I have no complaints, thanks to you! I'm good and you? Wow! Belgium, lovely! Ha! Ha! Whatever you wish to bring mw, I'm okay with that. As long as you come home safe. He! He! Okay! If you're cold out there I'll warm you up when you arrive in Paris. Alright! Mwah! Je Taime!, the only thing I could say since I've been missing his company for months now.
While I am about to finish in the shower I heard a knock on the door. I got out of the bathroom and while drying myself with the towel, wore my bath gown and checked it out. When I opened the door I was surprised to see a dozen or more of white roses. Wow! Is what I said to myself and a it excited to know who sent them, thinking they were from Edmund. A little note said: "I hope you like them! See you Saturday, Sincerely, Gin. Oh! Gin???. This guy is so sweet. With a small laugh I remembered Jodie when we were young, she loved giving me paper flowers. How insensitive of me not to know her feelings for me.
Edmund is a nice and wonderful guy. But there is still something missing. Love...maybe! I don't think I love him enough to feel excited when he is around. When we are together I feel secured but there's no intimacy when we make love. However, with Jodie, it's different.
Everything's intense, unsure and wild. She is crazy but beautiful crazy and I love her so much, I cry when I miss her. Haay! I don't know what's really happening to me, while breathing hard. I want my Jodie back. Babe can you hear me? While my hair's still wet and in my bathrobe, I said hugging my big magician doll Jodie gave me on my birthday years ago. We won this when we went to Enchanted Kingdom, one of our country's biggest and most visited amusement park in Laguna.
I miss you! I said with the thought of her loving me, longing for her touch and kisses. Remembering the times we made love in the shower. She makes me complete. God! I miss the caresses, smiles and funny side of her. I was interrupted by my wet daydreams, hehe, by a loud knock on the door. I think that's my breakfast. Breakfast was lovely.
I better work on my blogs now, It's been a while and I am not going to be late on my schedule to post them. It's been two days since I last worked on them (ticking on my laptop, when I accidentally saw Jodie's old messages, while switching to my comfortable white 'sando' (sleeveless) and black tight shorts. I prefer not wearing bra so I can breathe freely.
Screen turning on, messages started to appear one by one on her mail. Alexa opened Jodie's old messages, saying she was sorry and that she loves her. "I love you babe", I am sorry I wasn't able to say goodbye, I was jealous of Edmund, I thought he was hitting on you. I know it was just a friendly date, or when you said he just needed someone to lean on since he lost his dad. I just realized it now, that, you truly love me and you didn't hide it from me. I believe you and I can't wait to see you when I get back". Kisses and I miss you!, after reading these, Alexa cried out loud while tears gushed from her eyes, unable to stop them.