All I can do is stand there and wait.. wait for him to explain that last statement, that has left me dumbfounded. I watch him stare into the water almost in a trance.
"Tate"
"Tate.."
Sighing to myself I turn and start to walk back to shore. I tense as I feel his arm suddenly wrap around my waist and bring me back into his chest. His warm bare skin sends a raging fire throughout my body. Dipping his head into my neck he breathes me in deeply.
"Wait please just wait".
Closing my eyes I will my body to relax. Leaning against him a little I wait for him to begin.
"Before I go on I need you to extend me the same courtesy I extended to you when you spoke. Will you allow me that?" All I could do I nod my head because my body is so overwhelmed by him.
"First off, our last day together... I need you to know that day meant just as much to me as it did you. While yes, I knew I was leaving two weeks before I did, I never planned what happened that day. In saying that I also don't regret what happened between us.. It was just natural" My breath hitches as I heard that he knew that long before that he was leaving.
"I'm sorry.. I know I should have told you but I couldn't bring myself to do it. You would never have let me go. I needed to do it Evie.. I needed to do it not only for the pack but for you. I was so in love with you that I was losing control of my wolf. The instincts to protect and posses you was becoming unbearable."
Softly kissing the juncture between my neck and shoulder before he starts again.
"I was losing control.. it got so bad to the point that I attacked my dad Ev… We were training at the back of my house and he brought up the topic of mates. Knowing we were together he asked if I thought we were. Even though we wouldn't really know until our birthday I felt it in my soul that we were." My heart fluttered a little at this. Remembering how we used to be brought such nostalgia to the front as a tear slips down my face. Quickly wiping it away I stay quite letting him continue.
"I told him I knew you were the one and didn't need to wait until our birthday. He had suggested that I take the next couple weeks and tour the surrounding back to make sure that I didn't have that feeling with anyone else". Tensing at the suggestion a rumbling growl ripped out of my throat before I could stop it. His arm wrapped around my waist tighter until I calmed down enough to continue.
"My mind went black at the suggestion and I lost complete control.. That scar on my dads back was from me it took 45 minute for Ren and dad to not only separate dad and I but to also restrain so I could calm down enough to regain control. Needless to say he never brought that subject again." Taking a deep breath he matches his breathing to match mine as a way to keep himself calm.
"I was wracked with guilt over the next two day over what I had done to my dad. Even though he had told me over and over that he understood and he should never had pushed me when it came to you. He had told me he understood because he was the same way when it came to mom he just wanted to be sure. But nothing assuaged the guilt I was feeling. On the third day my dad had ordered me to come down to breakfast since I had been avoiding him. He started the conversation during breakfast like everyday and then told me Alpha Joel had offered for me to come and train with him over the summer. He thought is would be a good way for me to get stronger and gain discipline." Taking a deep breath. I can feel the worry coming off of him for what he is about to say.
" Over the 2 days before this conversation happened I had been warring with my wolf over the thought going through my mind. I asked when I would be leaving and if there was a time limit to how long I could stay in Southland. Yes, I asked if it was okay if I stayed until I felt I was strong enough to come back..."
** Flashback**
My dad was obviously curious about my request I watch as all the questions flash through his eyes.
"Is there a reason behind this request Tate? You do realize this could keep you away from your pack and from Evelyn for possibly a very long time"?
Sighing.. "This is something I need to do dad... not only for the pack but for Evie. I've lost control dad. If something were to happen to her.. I... I wouldn't be able to survive. You barely survived when mom died. I need to be strong enough to ensure that never happens."
** Present**
Finally, I turn to face and look up into those beautiful green eyes that have haunted my dreams for years.
"What do you mean strong enough.. Strong enough for what Tate."
"I needed to be strong enough to protect what I love most in this world". His other hand cupping my face, his thumb slowly tracing my cheek. "I needed to be strong enough to protect you because I cannot and will not live in a world where you do not exist Ev.."