The view outside the window was vast, overlooking servant buildings, knight quarters, and horse stables.
It was oddly beautiful with the many busy people below focusing on either training or chores.
He was about to leave the window for the mirror when he saw a young man getting punched in the face.
The red hair covering the young man's face dipped with him as he tried to avoid an incoming second hit. It changed nothing, and soon the man was laying down on the ground.
Their eyes met, or at least Kilian thought they did, he couldn't be sure at this distance.
He kept his expression blank and turned the wheelchair away, ignoring the pitiful state of the man that glanced up at him.
He could not afford to care for anyone but himself right now.
The mirror towered over him, one of the few impressive pieces of furniture that had been left in the room.
He suspected it was because it had some small cracks here and there, and had therefore lost its value. Much like himself and his newly acquired ruined legs.
He stared into it, studying the young man staring back at him with a blank expression.
He was fair-skinned, which was normal to the nobles of this place, but even more so because of the genes from his fair mother.
Something about northern ancestry in this world? He wasn't sure.
The blonde wavy hair was unkempt, reaching down to his shoulders, in need of a serious haircut.
Something else they neglected about him seemed to be common hygiene.
He wiped the bangs aside, seeing a pair of ice-blue eyes underneath.
He grimaced, still studying himself.
The features were way too feminine and gave off a delicate look.
'Maybe this fits the image of the shy small boy who lived his whole life in this room'.
He was no longer going to be that shy boy in this new life of his.
If he was now this Kilian, then he couldn't stay in this place for long. He would just end up dead like the original Kilian of this place had.
He kept studying himself, his brain was trying to comprehend the changes to his physical body.
The word pretty or cute fit him more than handsome, though some features had grown to be a bit more masculine with age, the only thing that ruined the soft look was the pair of eyes that gave off a chilling aura.
He let out a small sigh, Kilian Heathgrave was a hidden gem.
Even when looking at himself in the mirror he had to admit he was attracted to the features staring back..
He had always liked the more pretty guys in the modern world, and he had to admit, Kilian Heathgrave was the perfect specimen for such a look with his delicate features.
Even if male relationships were not common in this world, he felt these looks would give him headaches in the future. He could almost pass for a girl.
A sigh escaped his lips.
Another issue he realized he would have in this world, would be that he was gay.
Something he assumed would not go well in a society like the one in this world.
He finished looking at the reflection of himself in the mirror regretting that he had not woken up in the body of one of Kilian's brothers.
From what his memories contained, they were tall, strong, masculine adults, that excelled in both swordsmanship and magic-wielding.
No wonder he, who was the youngest and third son in the family, was not needed, with heirs like that.
Maybe that was why they had forgotten about him and neglected his upbringing. Even with the memories, he could not tell when he had last seen his father. It must have been years.
'Why did he not call for me?'.
It seemed that this unfavored third son was abandoned by the Count, his father.
There was a knock on the door, and without giving him time to reply, a woman barged in with a tray in her hands.
'How dare she,' he thought, but kept his mouth shut, instead he just stared at her with his blue eyes, making her stop in her tracks.
He knew this was not how to treat a noble, and somehow he felt anger for the young Kilian who had lived like this.
The maid gave him a defiant look, placing the tray on a table several paces from where he was, knowing Kilian would need to use the wheelchair to get there.
"I will let the head maid know you are up, she will be delighted to see you are up and about, it is such a rare thing to see."
The fake smile on the maid's face faded, and Kilian had heard the obvious sarcasm in her voice.
He was angry, he knew that being treated this way was wrong. However, he couldn't just lash out or get mad. He needed to figure out how to escape this wheelchair first, and he could not anger the maids unnecessarily.
After all, he had already realized that he was alone in this world.
He clenched his hands on the armrest of the wheelchair, the knuckles turning pale as he held in his anger, and instead proceeded to give the maid a shy smile, with a cowering movement in the chair.
She had rudely entered without permission in a noble's room, she had purposely not addressed him by his title, and even given a sarcastic threat when mentioning the head maid.
She knew the old Kilian would be stricken with fear, and he had to act the part for now.
The maid somehow seemed satisfied with the solemn look he gave her, groaning as he moved his arms, to push the wheelchair to the table.
"It seems like you have still not learned your manners after all these years." She kicked the chair, hitting his leg as well, and Kilian bit his lips to endure the pain.
A flash of ice-blue eyes pierced through her, and for a second the maid took a step back.
"I... I will see to it that you get a lesson in manners." she turned on her heels and left the room, slamming the door.
The room became silent.
Kilian looked at the tray the maid had brought, not surprised to see some stale bread and lumpy-looking grey soup.
He knew he needed to get physically stronger on his own if he was going to escape this place, it was not as if he could just get up and leave.
He would also need money to get anywhere, but as far as he knew, the young Kilian had never received any allowance or even seen the currency of this world, and had no concept as to what things were worth.
'I need knowledge, there are too many things I do not know about the outside of this room in this world'.
He looked over at the window and took a moment to bask in the light while running his fingers up through his hair and sighed.
There were too many things he needed to prepare, and he could not have the staff or family here realize he had changed, he needed to play the same role as always.
The shy, fragile boy in a wheelchair, secluding himself in a room in the far east of the mansion.
He needed to think of his options, he wanted to make them keep believing he was the same weak kid they could push around, but he also needed to keep himself from getting hurt further, or he would not be able to heal his feet and legs.
'How?' He speculated, it would not be long before the head maid would show up.
Should he just take it today? No... He couldn't let himself continue to get beaten, he would never escape that way.
"There must be something in these memories". He closed his eyes, thinking back.
"Little boy".
The door opened with a slam and an older-looking lady with a tight grey bun at the back of her neck stepped into the room. She was wearing a long maid uniform, longer than the maid that followed her, which was the same maid that had brought him the meal.
"Yes?".
He simply replied, giving the head maid a look of confusion, as if he did not know what he had done to warrant this visit.
They seemed to ignore he was no longer a little boy but an adult at 18 now, or they simply forgot his age, he already looked younger because of the small frame.
"You have no right to be rude to the staff".
Kilian almost saw froth at her mouth, as she raised her voice at him.
He gave her a timid look but responded.
"But she was trying to dishonor the family".
"What are you rambling about".
The head maid kept her voice high and stared down at him while bringing out a short-looking whip from the side of her belt.
Kilian's body responded on its own, but he couldn't control it as he started trembling at the sight of it. His body remembered that thing too well.
"I..". He paused, using his trembling to look weak in front of her.
"I am supposed to attend the Winter Yule Ball in a month. I am now of age, and attendance is required by noble etiquette. If I show up looking like this, I will dishonor the family with m...my a...appearance".
He added in a small sob, and stuttered at the end of the sentence, looking down hiding a smile while continuing in a low voice.
"I thought if the family would get dishonored by my appearance, the fault would not only be with me...".
He cut off, letting the unspoken words sink in.
The staff... The staff would be blamed.
He had a hunch that not everything that was going on here was reported to the Count.
Even a Count would not let his staff run wild and mistreat and use his son, even if he was useless and unfavored.
At least this was what he hoped for. He had nothing else to use at the moment to keep them from mistreating him, but the threat of someone of higher rank than them would find fault with their work.
The head maid stood as if frozen to the floor, her hand with the whip lowered, and she turned to the maid next to her.
"Get him a warm meal for the next month and three times a day instead of one, they can't blame us if he is fattened up, and get an appointment with a tailor, we need to get him fitted for new clothes".
She didn't address Kilian directly but ignored his very presence, and simply turned on her heels and left the room, with the young maid in tow.
At least she was quick to pick up what might happen to them if he went out like he was currently.
He had a hunch that this whole time he had been their money cow.
He smiled an eerily smile.
This meant that he had found a way to manipulate them. After all, if they were ever found out, they would not keep their heads, and neither would their families.
They were basically stealing from a Count right under his nose and had been for years.
Even an unfavored son would have had some type of allowance to keep appearances, as well as staff, food, and necessities befitting a son of a Noble.
But throughout the 18 years, the young Kilian had seen none. Even his clothes were probably inherited from the maids' siblings.
He was now sure that the young man must have died from the continued neglect, without anyone in this world knowing. The thought kept the anger seething because of the pitiful ending, and he thought to himself that he would make sure to get some sort of revenge on these people in the future.
The young maid returned, looking at him with an angry look, but said nothing as she placed a bowl of hot savory-looking soup on the desk by him. She then left without a word, as if she was busy.
Kilian smiled again, he was now going to get better nutrients that would help heal his body. It was a start at least.
He finished his soup, and moved the wheelchair to the window, looking out to observe the trainees below.
They were the Fief's knights, and knights in training. The Knights' Order had been a corps of the Count's Family for generations and their loyalty was unquestioned.
The young Kilian had grown up admiring them from the window and even seen his brothers train with them before they had left for the Academy at the age of 18.
He needed a knight.
He watched as the trainees were running laps with heavy equipment on. The redhead from earlier was far behind the rest.
"He must be the newest member,"
Kilian said the words out loud.
The room didn't respond, and he sighed.
"I seriously need someone on my side, if nothing, then to keep me from going insane in this room alone".
He slid down from the wheelchair onto the floor.
"Ack".
He grimaced, the pain in his legs shot through him, and he paused in his movements.
"This is going to take forever like this".
He cursed some unspeakable words to himself, unable to say it out loud, afraid some maid nearby would hear it.
He had to stay in character.
He stretched out his legs from a sitting position, and slowly began to endure the pain as he carefully stretched his muscles.
Sweat was forming on his back and his shirt felt clammy against his skin.
He exhaled slowly, he had been bending his toes repeatedly for a while now. At first, they felt very stiff, but it was easier to do the movement now without too much pain.
He was satisfied with the training of his legs, there was not much he could do right away, it would be slow progress from here on out.
It was evening and the trainees were still going at it. He stared down at them envious of their strong bodies. He saw the redhead in the crowd.
"That one...".
"That one will be mine".