Chereads / Lost Memories: Vanitas / Chapter 22 - The Secret - I

Chapter 22 - The Secret - I

".....I don't want the contents of what I am going to say to go outside these four walls."

Edward gave a single nod of his head while Melfina responded with a serious, "Okay," from beside Vanitas.

"What I am about to say has to do with my powers."

"Your powers?" Vanitas felt Edward's interest pique upon hearing his words.

"Yes. I don't know whether you have realized it or not but the demon that I am contracted to is strong. Maybe a bit too strong compared to other demon contractees like me."

Vanitas wasn't getting cocky or boasting here. He was just laying the facts out on the table. And Vanitas did think that the Lieutenants and the General, at the very least, have already realized that he had a powerful demon under his control.

"Yes. There is no doubt about that. But, what of it?"

"You should know that there is always a price to a greater power."

"Yeah. In the case of your average demons, just suppressing their soul or power within your own could make the demon enter a contract with you and grant its power. However, in the case of demons whose power is above the charts, just winning over them is not enough. In order to be able to access their power, they demand a sacrifice. We have already talked about it once before though. Just you and I."

"Really? I don't remember though."

"What? But it wasn't that far ago, though."

"That's exactly why I don't remember."

Edward narrowed his eyes and contemplated the implication of his words.

After a few minutes passed in silence, Vanitas saw Edward's eyes widen just a little in realization.

"Wait, you don't mean..."

"Yeah. You have got it right, General."

"Huh? What? What did the General get right?" Melfina who had been silently and equally paying attention to Vanitas's words didn't seem to get what the two were talking about.

"The demon I am contracted to is strong and every time I use its power, it demands a sacrifice from me. And that sacrifice is - my memories."

Melfina let his words sink in a bit deeper and when she fully understood what he meant and what it entailed she shuddered visibly.

Edward on the other hand, calmly looked at Vanitas, as if scrutinizing him.

Edward was thinking about the first time the two had a conversation in this very room.

Back then, he had asked Vanitas this very question but he had refused to linger around this topic. If it had something to do with something as grave and dangerous as losing his memories then his unwillingness to divulge further would make sense. But, that gave rise to another contradiction though.

If someone knew that Vanitas lost his memories every time he used the power of his demons, that made him susceptible to being manipulated by other people around him. Sharing this information with anyone meant putting him at risk. He had understood this point back then and thus had remained silent when Edward had tried to probe further. But then, why was he telling the two of them - Edward and Melfina - about this now? Edward was curious.

"Why tell us all that now? When you had firmly rejected me when I asked you about it before."

"There must have been some reason that I didn't. Though I don't know what that reason was." He had no recollection of it whatsoever now.

"But I can tell you why I decided to tell you two now.

"From now on, until all of the seven great demons are felled, I will have to live alongside other soldiers here and fight alongside them in battle. Although I try not to rely on my demon's power too heavily, there will surely come situations where I will have to use it, in order to survive or save someone else. That means there will come times when I will suddenly lose my memories and forget about what I am doing, where I was, or who the people around me were."

He had all realized this during what happened in the forest.

In order to get out of the pinch they were in, Vanitas had no choice but to resort to relying on his demon's power and that had caused him to lose his memories of the most recent of times. That caused him to forget about why he was in the forest and who the blue-haired girl who was calling out to him was. He was really confused back then but he gathered all the information he needed when the girl handed him a sheet of paper.

On that paper, everything about why he was there, what he had been doing for the past two weeks, and the identity of the three girls who were supposed to be with him were written concisely. That had saved him back then. He had probably realized that he will need this information after he used his powers and prepared it beforehand.

Although it had saved him then, he couldn't rely too heavily on this method. What if the paper he had written everything was damaged badly during the course of the battle? It will leave him stranded and alone with no memories of his immediate past. Not to mention, using this tactic every time may arouse suspicion among the other soldiers. That was why needed another solution.

After thinking about it for a while, he decided that he needed someone trustworthy to know about his defects. That way, it would be easier for him to recover and get back in the groove if he lost his memories as the ones who knew of his secret would help him cover it all up.

"Thus, I decided that I needed someone who would be able to cover for me during such situations and help me accommodate myself to what was going on. And the only person who I can trust with this role is the General and Melfina."

"Why me as well? Wouldn't one person have been enough? It would have been far safer for you as well if only one of us knew." Melfina asked.

"There's a reason for that as well. From what I understand, the General won't go in many battles. But what I am most scared of is losing my memories in the midst of a battle. I needed someone who is trustworthy and at the same time, who would be more frequently with me in such battles. That's why I decided to share this with you as well, Melfina."

"That makes sense," Melfina said, satisfied with his answer.

"Vanitas."

"Yes?"

"How does this work exactly? I mean, the sacrifice you have to make." Edward asked.

"To be honest, I am not sure myself. But from what I know, if I use the power to some certain extent, then it will devour the memories of my most recent days. However, if I want more power, it will ask for stronger memory. Though which one of my memory it will devour, I have no idea at all."

If it were possible for him to determine what memory he could offer to the demon, then he would have prevented the most precious and the most important memory he probably had instead of letting the demon devour it. The fact that it hadn't happened meant that he had no control over it.

"I see. That means that when you used your power in the forest, your demon devoured the most recent of your memories as an offering, right?"

"Yes."

"And as a result, you lost your memories of at least two weeks ago. Because you don't remember the fact that the two of us had conversed in this room during that time."

"That seems plausible, yes."

"Then, if you had lost your memories up to that point, it meant that you had also lost any recollection of the people you had met during that time frame, right?"

"Yes." He had forgotten about the three girls who were there with him in the forest and he couldn't recall anyone else apart from a girl in white and a man in black whose face was blurred. He had likely lost his memories of every single person he had met during that time frame.

"That meant that you had forgotten about me and Melfina as well."

"Yes."

"Then what made you share such a heavy secret with us when you don't even know who we are and whether or not we are trustworthy? After all, you have no memory of us. Isn't that right?"

That was a well-thought-out question from Edward. Vanitas had admitted that he had no recollection of what had happened or the people he had met during the past few weeks. Then, how did he decide that Edward and Melfina, who he has no memories of now, were someone to be trusted?

Vanitas had expected such a question and thus had come prepared. He took out a piece of paper from his pocket and then showed it to the two.