"Your LIFE right now is a BONUS! God grant Ibu a BONUS in the form of LIFE.
Congratulations! You have to be THANKFUL a lot, Ibu!"
I saw the shadow of a face in front of me as I opened my eyes in the bed for the first time. Slowly I realized where I was, and It was a doctor's voice.
I looked at the face straight above me, went through the ceiling up to the sky through the clouds above the layered sky, past through infinity.
I heard someone spoke that my heartbeat had disappeared from the EKG - then suddenly, the vibrations reappeared for a moment when the doctor almost declared that I was passed. I heard that I had run out of blood. I saw my hands and fingers swell like balloons, fresh like being infused with various fluids.
There are only two choices: I lose my womb or... my life.
Finally, I had to lose a vital part of a woman, the reproductive organs.
I felt the doctor's words seemed just to cheer me up.
I had passed my critical period.
*️**
Ah, I remember now. My mom was feeding me beside the hospital bedroom after I gave birth to my daughter. Things were going well until a nurse found splattered blood under my bed.
She opened my blanket.
It turned out that the bed linen I was sleeping on was changing color, all red; blood was everywhere, but I didn't feel anything.
Immediately there was panic and commotion in the room. The action was carried out directly by the doctors in charge and nurses in the room. That was Sunday afternoon. My pubic skin was sutured and pierced with a curved needle without anesthesia. Not even local anesthesia.
Don't ask about the pain.
I screamed.
I revolted!
I was bloody sweating.
My whole body tensed. I was crying uncontrollably. For the third time, I felt the curved needle pierce my skin; don't ask about the pain. With all my strength, I screamed, IBUUUUUU!!!!!!
Then I fainted!
*️**
I woke up again when some people pushed my wheeling bed, half running through the corridor. The long and winding hallway; even with hasty steps, seemed a very long journey until I was faint again.
I was sober and aware I was in the operating room, everything was in a hurry; Doctors and nurses were preparing surgical instruments, oxygen cylinders, and nitrogen tubes; I wasn't sure if it was nitrogen or other gas. I heard the doctor scolding the nurse for almost infusing the wrong tube into my nose and mouth.
I knew what was happening in the operating room, but I couldn't do anything. My consciousness was still there, but my body was powerless.
The doctor opened my eyelids and shone the flashlight into my eyes. And I felt the flashlight light far and away, "It's still there," he said.
"Yes, I'm still here, Doc," I thought helplessly.
Then they inserted a tube into my mouth and throat causing saliva to pool in my mouth.
With all my strength, I spit it out again; it turned out that I had no energy at all when I felt the water from my mouth only spilling out onto my cheek from my chin to my neck, all wet.
The doctor scolded me, "Ibu! Don't fight; we're just helping you, Ibu!"
Various fluids infused my body, and I felt that time was running so slowly; I was getting weaker and weaker. Then I heard the doctor scolding again, "Ibu... Ibu! Don't sleep! We're helping Ibu. Please, don't sleep!!!" The doctor patted my cheek several times.
But I was bloody tired and sleepy. I was so exhausted when I felt the doctor slapping me again, 'Please, doctor, I want to sleep for a while ... just a moment. I beg' I know the doctor won't hear any voice, but I understand that he listened to my soul.
"Ibu. Don't sleep!!"
And I woke up again.
For the umpteenth time, I felt lost when I heard the voice of a small child calling me.
Mama! Mama! Mama! As the rhythm of the pacemaker is installed in my body.
The beat of the pacemaker has been replaced by the sound of a little child calling for mama in a short tone and stomping many times. It resounded throughout the room.
Mama.
Mama.
Mama.
️***
"Ibuuu… Ibu."
"Ibuuu... Ibu."
I called mom slowly and gently.
But no one answered.
"Ibuuu... Ibu." I only heard the echo of my voice, low.
I looked around the all-white room while still calling for Mom. Although it was quiet, I made sure that my voice was heard.
"Ibuuu..."
Ah, there she is. I saw my mother's red hood, looking down like she was praying.
I approached...
and was shocked!!
I couldn't believe the sight in front of me;
I was Shocked as I saw my body lying on the bed with white sheets beside my mom.
Only then did I realize that I was floating. I drew closer to my mom and again called, "Ibuu..."
My mother was silent. So solemnly, she prayed alone beside my bed.
I started to cry, "Ibuu..."
I witnessed my body lying with my eyes closed beside mom; she bowed solemnly in prayer. I looked at the two of them. So quiet.
And I was crying.
But no tears.
️***
It was my last memory.
I don't know how long I was in a coma when I realized as I opened my eyes, I heard the doctor say that I got a BONUS.
To get A NEW LIFE.
What's more worthy than that?
How much did I have to pay the price?
I saw my mother's face had calmed down. There was no more worry in her eyes. My father was talking to a husband who had just come from Jakarta. I did give birth in my hometown, at the hospital where my father works. I was only allowed to go home the next day.
***
My Father was carrying my new baby born. Mom sat beside him. Bintang brought the car, and we slowly got out of the hospital yard.
I felt the sun was so warm. It was shining bright. As bright as it is. White clouds clumped together in the sky. Deep blue sky. The sun's rays broke through the gaps in the clouds, forming a straight line falling to the earth like supporting the clouds. The pillars of light that descended from the sky, how beautiful.
And the sky also sent a name for our beloved daughter.
BRIGHT.
***
This hospital is newly built and spacious, with a strong and tall wall. An extensive yard is covered by green grass as far as the eye can see.
It was the first time I'd been here, yet I didn't feel strange to this place. Especially when our car exited the gate and headed for the highway. A fresh breeze blew from the front window, and I looked back at the entrance...
Ahhhh
My body shivered.
I had experienced this before.
I recognized the gate; it looked familiar. The width and height almost cover the entire hospital building inside. Yes, I have been here before. But where is it?
I didn't forget the shape of the gate. Remember the sun, the light, the clouds, the glowing pillars, and the vast downhill road we passed; it was all exactly like this. Exactly. I tried to remember...
Yes. I have experienced this before.
=========================================================
At first, I thought it was just a dead old tree, even though the trunk was still half-standing.
But my guess turned out to be wrong because slowly, the tree was wriggling, it's top branching out.
The tips of the branches were moving around as if they had heads... and My goodness, it turned out to be a snake's head! The tree turned out to be a huge serpent monster resembling Medusa, a snake goddess with snake hair, just like the comic strip I had ever read in my childhood.
I ran spontaneously. I ran and ran along the passageway, a maze with many rooms and endless paths. Behind me, an old tree that turned out to be a snake with a forked head was chasing me. Each of its heads, seemed as if it wanted to free itself from the race; each head was eager to suck my blood.
I fell!
They drew near.
With all my might, I got up and ran again. Falling again, I got up and ran again, panting for breath, and sweating profusely. Every time I fell, I could dodge and managed to escape from the snake's chase.
Until finally, I found the light.
It turned out that the light was coming from a door. With all my strength, I reach the slightly opened door, but it seems from that point still far away from the exit gate of the building.
With the remaining energy, I ran after the gate, which slowly began to close by itself. The snakes still hunted me; sweat flooded my whole body, but I refused to give up. I tried to reach the gate.
At the last second, when the distance was only an inch away, I took long strides with my last breath. I break through the slow-moving door... at the same time, the gate closes with a loud banging sound...
BUMMM!!!!!!
And the serpent was trapped in its trunk. His head reached out, unable to catch me up.
I fell outside the gate. The snake's head is still trying to roam from between the fence while its body is stuck behind the gate.
My breath was panting irregularly, my energy run out nothing left to escape from that hell. I gave up. But strangely, all of sudden my body felt light. I slid out like flying...
When I looked back, I saw that the gate was so broad, tall, and sturdy that it almost covered the hospital building as if to say goodbye...
And I woke up from that terrible dream.
And I found sweat completely soaked my shirt.
=️=========================================================
Yes!
I remembered I had been here before. In my dream. I could not forget the shape of the gate, a broad, tall, and sturdy gate that almost covered the hospital building; it was the same as the gate where I gave birth to my daughter.
On the way home, I contemplated, thought, and was stunned alone when I realized and concluded what I saw in my dream.
The snake with the forked head was an image of a standing gas cylinder and hose from fluids infused into my mouth and body when I had surgery. The room and hallways of the hospital transformed into a labyrinth where the snake chased me, the moment when I struggled to find a way out...
In the car, I heard my husband, mother, and father pleasingly chatting with their newborn granddaughter.
I shivered alone in silence.
***
It took a long time for me to realize that the Bonus of a longer life given by God was for a purpose so I could share. Share simple stories of the other side of life... from different sides. I hope everyone will be more Grateful for their life whatever the challenge. We're all Humankind, so be Kind.
This is how I participate and appreciate Life.
=========================-THE END-========================