Audrey was not sure how to begin. She wanted to answer the man but there was a seed of doubt inside her, that kept on telling her it was a trick. That the question is a rhetorical one and if she was to answer, she would receive punishment for voicing out.
For the longest time, the pair sat in silence as she hesitated about what to do. Her captor did not push her to talk but only caressed her head countless times. She had to admit it felt as though he was pouring courage into her.
As the minutes went by, Audrey slowly built up the courage and opened up.
"My name. I don't like my name," she muffled in a hushed voice.
Her head hung low as though it was searching for a hole to hide, waiting for the man to blast at her as though she had mentioned something blasphemous.
But neither a shout nor a blow touched her. Instead, she received assurance. "That's okay. Not everyone likes their given name."
His low deep voice soothed her ears as he continuously rubbed her arms with encouragement. It might mean nothing to anyone but to Audrey, it was tremendous. To have someone give their full attention to her and someone listen to what she had to say, she had no words to describe these feelings but a brand new experience.
"Mama and Papa, they..." A lump formed in her throat as her stomach churned into a knot. The brown-haired lady was fiddling with her thumbs as her eyes zoned into emptiness, wondering what good would come out of sharing the despicable acts that happened in her previous home.
"They hit you?" Her captor asked as he pushed her hair to the back, trying to take a glimpse of her despondent face.
Audrey shook her head, causing the hair to fall back down and fashioned a curtain covering her. "I mean yes but not that. Mama and Papa said I must harm myself every time my name is mentioned."
She could feel the man nodding his head slowly above hers and asked, "And what if you don't do what they say?"
"They will punish me."
The thought of being whipped until her skin tore apart brought shivers down her spine. At times, they would brand her with a hot iron across her body until her voice turned hoarse.
Despite being subjected to a ridiculous amount of torture and humiliation, she could not make out which punishment she hated the most. After all, every single one of them resulted in her being worse off than she previously was.
Because the torture did not end when the punisher stopped. It was the healing moment that was equally brutal as she would have to brace for every single discomfort.
Whether it was the throbbing pain she felt every single movement she made or the constant reminder when her body grazed against her ridiculously tight and heavy clothing. To be able to relieve herself was already too much to bear, let alone walking on two feet.
It was only when they began to impregnate her did the intensity of the torture level reduced. Even so, it did not lessen the frequency and it caused conflict with her inner feelings. Grateful for the 'nice' changes but hated the fact her future will be bleak instead of having the possibility of closing her eyes forever.
"Don't worry, Princess. Those are now your past. No one will harm you while I'm around."
The man shuffled himself out and stood up, carefully grabbing her wrist and pulling her upwards gently. He faced her with a weak smile, and gazed tenderly onto her wonderfully glossy brown orbs, "We shall reclaim your name one day until those sufferings become a distant memory and until then, we'll settle with the name Princess, eh?"
Audrey nodded her head as a polite gesture but never in a billion years would she think of reclaiming the name to be associated with happy memories. Her only concern was to learn how to dissociate listening to her name and harming herself.
"Or would you rather be called Charlotte? If I recall correctly it means a free woman," the man was thinking out loud as he studied her feature.
"On second thought, I'd rather call you Princess. Much more befitting. And since you're now known as Princess, you should treat yourself like royalty!" He commanded. His eyes twinkled with genuine enjoyment, as though trying to force the positive vibes onto her.
Or perhaps he was trying to lighten up the mood, she could not tell. For the past couple of months, he had been throwing loads of nicknames her way and she had been accustomed to it and even responded to all of them!
Most of the time those names suit the situation but Princess? It was a hard one to accept. How was she able to transition from being treated like an experimental rat that was equivalent to garbage to one of a decent human being, a noble no less?
'Why is the man doing this? Why is he being kind?' never once stopped popping up in her head.
'Did he want something out of this? Will he kill me when I reached happiness? Or should I refrain myself?'
Growing up with her blood family, she had been fooled one too many times. Because from time to time again, she thought her family's sudden kindness was a good sign of a new change.
Only for such vision to remain as imagination. For her expectation to shatter into pieces as it turned out to be a facade to subject her to even gruesome cruelty. That her fickle emotions were their entertainment and she was their toy.
Even so, she could not help feeling wanted when her captor showered her with attention with every single drop of her tears. She could not help feeling good when the man would lock her in his embrace, an affection she yearned for so long.
And when the man respected her decision and cared for her even when she was asleep, something was blooming within her. That she could not help but wanted to repeat all such actions just to feel good.
Because goodness knows how long will this last. And while she was still in doubt about his sincerity, she would want to treasure the moment.
And like how it was back in the Bloodsworth House, she would allow herself to be tricked into this cruel play and basked in the attention.
All for a sliver of affection.