Chereads / Umbra, Lord of Shadows / Chapter 45 - Chapter 41 Drive

Chapter 45 - Chapter 41 Drive

Lucas opened his eyes and was greeted with a very familiar sun surrounded by an endless nothing. The sun lit up the entire void, yet he didn't have to avert his eyes. As if the light couldn't hurt his retinas. The sun greeted him, not that it actually spoke any words, but that was how it felt to Lucas. The tiny black spot on the sun was still there, it didn't grow nor shrink, but was always present. Lucas thought he was going to meet the strange red eyes again, but nothing changed. The sun kept shining, giving off a soothing warm light.

"I guess I need to awaken him myself?", he felt that the sun nodded, which was impossible, but it felt like that. "Are you alive as well?", the sun gave confirmation again. "What's wrong with me?", he had to laugh a bit at his own circumstances. Taking a deep breath he got close to the dark spot again. This time the sun didn't stop him in any way, 'Is it curious?'.

Touching the black spot again, he put something in motion. The spot started to take over the sun again, covering it in its strange darkness. The light disappeared and the void showed itself.

An empty dark space, or was it filled with things he simply couldn't see? The giant fiery crimson-red eyes started to form before him.

The eyes didn't say anything, they merely stared into Lucas. He felt all his secrets were exposed to that thing, but then he just stopped caring. 'What would it matter?'

"WHAT IS THY DRIVE?"

The ominous voice returned, last time he didn't have the time to have a proper conversation, but now it looked like he could be here for a lot longer.

"My drive? My motivation? I don't know, I can't clearly remember what happened before I got here, but I know that I was mad. I replaced my broken sadness with madness and pure rage against the world."

"WOULDEST THOU SEE THE WORLD AS EVIL?"

"No, that would be a stupid idea. I love my family, they aren't evil. There is a lot of evil, whether that be in the form of beasts or monsters, or as humans. But the world itself isn't evil, it depends on your viewpoint, if you had to kill to save you could be seen as a symbol of justice or evil."

"WHAT IS EVIL?"

"Injustice? No, that poses the question of what justice is. Suffering? No, through the pain you can grow tremendously as a person, it is not equal to evil. Dark magic? That's ridiculous, that is merely propaganda from the Order of Light. Misuse of power? Then again, if the baron didn't do what he did his household would break down, making a lot of people homeless or without a job, making them starve in the slums. Would it make him evil if he knew about that outcome and still let it happen, but didn't misuse his power? Are universally things like rape evil, even if the person being raped is an evil person who was enslaved from their own misdeeds? Or would it then be justified?"

"WOULDEST THOU BE EVIL FOR POWER?"

"I don't know, I want to have my revenge against the baron. All my plans involve killing him, I don't care what happens to him. Venion will also have to pass away in order for me to survive. Becoming evil to survive, how much suffering must I inflict before I'm seen as a terror?"

"OR DETERMINED?"

"Determined? Would I do anything to grow, to step into higher ranks, to become the most powerful mage this world has ever seen? For what? So that I can never be killed by others who are truly evil?"

"OR TO ELIMINATE EVIL YOURSELF?"

"Hmmm? Becoming evil to destroy evil itself?", Lucas scoffed, "Would that make me a villain or a hero?"

"WHAT IS THY DRIVE?"

"..."

Their conversation ended abruptly, the eyes were consumed by the surrounding darkness. Leaving Lucas behind in a strange void, but before he lost all contact with the strange being, he heard the voice laughing again. The darkness retreated again, revealing the caring sun. The sun welcomed him back, though he did not know where.

Time passed slowly, Lucas and Laim were both asleep, one was forced the other stopped caring. Liam lost all of his comrades, he wasn't always the most friendly with them, but he saw them as good friends who stood and fell together. Though this time, he was left alone.

Robert was wide awake, he had a lot of things to think about. The fact that his father dabbled in dark arts to awaken himself left a bitter feeling. The fact that he always looked down on Lucas for being a simple commoner was swept away by guilt. The fact that the two people he looked up to were both used to shady dealings left him even more frustrated. Who was he meant to trust if everything he knew was against his own principles?

After a while Liam woke up, "So I haven't been eaten yet?", he didn't look too serious so Robert saw it as a joke. "Stop it, every monster in this stupid cave would avoid this room after feeling that bloodlust. They may not be the smartest, but they still have a basic instinct."

"You're wrong, they do have intellect."

"Lucas! You're awake, finally! How are you feeling?"

"My hands don't look great. What happened here?", Lucas looked a bit tired, but alive nonetheless. "You don't remember anything?"

Lucas tried his best, but could only find certain images, no coherent memory. "I can only remember the feeling and the motions, but I guess I did that?"

Pointing at the butchered bear that was barely recognizable from all the beatings it received. Seeing the men nod, he sighed from exhaustion.

"Why did you even act in such a way? I didn't see exactly what was going on with you since I was preoccupied with the monsters.", hearing that question Robert threw a stern look at Liam, but before he could say anything Lucas started to move.

"You see..."

"This bloated corpse was my sister. Triss was a beautiful girl, what happened to her is nothing but disgusting.", he stretched his hand out and said a few runes before the entire body went up in flames. "May she find her peace in the afterlife."

The other two shared their condolences with him, but Lucas seemed to be apathetic. "Don't worry, I know I acted quite emotional the last few days. I'm over it now, don't worry."

"Sure.", they obviously didn't believe him, but he was being serious. His sadness was replaced with pure rage before it was transformed into determination. He had a goal, not a coherent one, but one nonetheless. He found his inner peace, what happened, happened. All he could do now was strive for his own goals. Leaving the past behind.

Normally these kinds of traumas stick with you for the rest of your life, but Lucas was lucky. He got the help of a strange being who was capable of changing the way he thought about things. Of course, he would still be seething with rage if someone joked about his family, but that wouldn't inhibit his movements anymore. The loss was hard, but acceptance took place when he least expected it.