For years I have tried to separate myself from the person my circumstance have made me become. It's been difficult trying to find a balance between who I am and what I have become without having much of a choice. I isolated myself from the people I loved and avoided whatever relationship there could be between me and the world but yet again I'm forced to compromise.
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"Hi, I'm Francesca" "hello". I tried so much to avoid the conversation; she sat beside me for the class. When the class was over she said again "hey which way are you headed" "home…. 47th street" "oh I'm headed that way too, we could walk home together" "that won't be necessary, I would slow you down" I said desperately looking for a way to get her off my back. "I do not mind, I need the company. Besides, what better way than this to get to know ourselves". Seeing no escape route I gave in, besides what's the worst thing that could happen it's just for today she'd be off my back by tomorrow so I said "sure, if you put it that way". The entire journey home she struck up conversations which I struggled to keep up with, I wanted to tear off my ears and couldn't wait to go our separate ways. I didn't like this girl, I didn't like anybody and I didn't like her getting all friendly on me. Finally she says "oh here's my stop, what about you?" "Me? I still have some distance to walk, see you some other time, bye". I walked off immediately not wasting a second more by her side, happy that what seemed to be a torturous journey had come to an end. The rest of the journey back home was peaceful and I had the chance to finally concentrate on my thoughts. My name is Olanna and I'm what you would call an extreme introvert. I love my space a lot and I hate when I have to share, I have no friends I don't think they are necessary- I don't understand why people make a fuss about it-, I love to read, criticize, research and solve puzzles they help build my IQ. I'm also the weirdest so I tend to be misread a lot, even by my own parents and yes I made sure Francesca never got my name that would make it easier to escape her next time.
I woke up the next morning with so much enthusiasm; I loved my classes and always looked forward to them. I didn't remember the near intrusion into my quite simple life yesterday. I thanked the lord for another beautiful day and said my daily affirmation. Once that was done, I reach out for my phone, click on music player and starts playing "come & go by ArrDee" –I love to start and end my day with a song it helps me get by-,I make and have my breakfast, run a quick shower and gets ready for school. Today is going to be a long day, I have classes until 7pm. Classes have been going smoothly despite the hectic schedule and I've been able to avoid Francesca all day, it seemed like I finally got her off my back. I sat reading a book while waiting for the last class of the day to commence, when someone walked up to me and said "hey babe, what's up", trying so hard to hide the frustration in my voice I said "hi Francesca, how are you doing" "I'm fine, gosh today has been a hell of a day. I'm so tired" "yes today is one of the busy ones" –I wished she'd leave me alone but it would be rude to say that to her- "it seems you love reading, what's the name of the book?" "Yes I do, it's called scarlet" "what is it…" "Settle down everyone let's start with today's lectures" the lecturer interrupted. The lecture was quite an interesting one and the entire class seemed to enjoy it. The lecturer ended the class at exactly 7:00 pm. Immediately he left I made my way out of the class to avoid being ambushed by the young lady and headed straight home. On my way home I bought take outs for dinner because I was too exhausted to make dinner myself. Tomorrow is going to be a lot less hectic there aren't many classes fixed, so I have enough time to relax and recuperate from today's stress. After dinner, I read a few pages of my book, had a shower and retired for the night. My mind drifted to Francesca and for a minute I dreaded meeting her tomorrow, it felt like a parasite was trying to grow on my skin. I shrugged the feeling off said my prayers and slept off.
Over the past few days, I have been able to keep Francesca off my path and it made me very happy. The weekend is here and now I have time to rest from the week's stress with just four classes for the day I couldn't wait. I was walking out of class when I bumped into her. "Hi, the lady I don't know her name, I realized I didn't get your name the few times we've spoken" "hey" I said smiling –I've been caught- "it's Olanna, my name is Olanna" "finally! So Ola how have you been, it's been a while" "it's Olanna, I've been good and you" "noted. Olanna" she chuckled. "Are you heading home? We could walk home together" "I… " "Olanna I know you've been avoiding me all week but I only just want to be friends with you that's all" "yeah, I'm aware but I don't do friendships" "I find you intriguing. You are the only one I can make friends with amongst our classmates I have a feeling you'll help me grow. I promise to be a great friend" "I'm flattered but I really can't help you… I go solo, we can walk home together though" "okay I guess that is enough, hopefully we'll end up friends" "don't keep your hopes high" I chuckled. We started heading home together, I engaged her in a few intellectual conversations during the journey until we separated. For some strange reasons I wasn't angered rather I enjoyed the walk home unlike the first time. From then on, we walked home together every other day; she made sure of that. I got to know her a lot more and started liking having her around.
We were not compatible in anyway, in fact we were completely different personalities but I started liking and accepting her into my space but I wasn't yet too comfortable to open up to her. Most days after we went our separate ways my feelings were always torn; a part of me liked having someone to share some of my time with and the other cringed at the mere thought of it, it is hard to accept some one into my space, it's my safe space the place where no one else has access to, a place where I experience some peace and quiet after spending the entire day with other "humans".
One day on our way back from school Francesca struck up the type of conversation she rarely does "so Olanna, what is your study plan like, how do you make out time for extra studies with the busy time table and still maintain your sanity in this school, you strong o Oloun!". This question made me burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. "Francesca it's not that bad, it's actually easy. All I do is take 3 hours of my time any day we dismiss on or before 4pm to study that way it doesn't necessarily feel like extra work. You can try it too". "Wow… that's one hell of a study plan, you make things look so easy. I wasn't wrong when I said you were interesting girrl!" I gave a faint laugh to the compliment. It felt really good to be complimented. That was when she dropped the bomb "can I become your study buddy…please, pretty please" -WHAT IN THE SEVEN HELLS!! You want more of my time what the hell do you think you're doing? Who do you think you are? You can't get any more of that girl- "the thing is I don't do well studying with people" "that's because you have never tried; you can't be sure without trying. This would go a long way to help me" "I'm sorry but I can't do it" "okay, okay sorry for pressuring you but can you think about it at least?" "Alright, I'll give it a thought but I'm not making any promises". "Thanks Ola…oh I mean Olanna" she giggled. "Oh we are here already…. Don't you want to come know my place?" "Maybe some other time" "okay if you say so, good night" "goodnight". I walked the rest of my way home in total quietness just the way I love it but her request kept ringing in my ears.