Sympathy is written all over Rick and Blake's face when I walk over to them. Janitors rush over to clean up the mess I had made and I'm constantly cursing at that mirror and the locker now. We walk down the halls silently and some students are throwing sympathetic glances at me, while others just make way. I don't like how they look at me. I don't like that they think I'm broken and need saving. I will have to put Mason in his place. He does not get to switch places with me. He is charity, not me. Anger starts boiling inside me and for a moment I forget the pain. I forget the gaze. I hate him.im however started off my gaze by a junior teacher who I recognize from my childhood days. She used to baby sit me and she taught me piano. That is not someone you easily forget.
"Mr. morsey," she says and I clench at that name. I detest hearing it in school grounds and I suddenly want to run and hide but what the hell, I should be proud, they should be worshiping me and im behaving like a weakling right now. "Proceed to the guidance and counseling room." What? I was not psychic, I just had a normal break down. Anyone would. I guess anyone would hit a locker so hard the lock breaks and the door dents. Anyone would simply break a mirror in a dressing room and throw out a girl he just injured just because she pissed him. Wait, my shirt. That's right, I had walked down the hallway with a bare chest and a bloody shirt in my hands. I get why everyone was staring and smirk at the thought. That is also the reason why ms Isabel thought I was psycho uuh. I put on the bloody shirt that had creased over pony… rael… raul. Shit. I push those thoughts away after seeing Isa's reaction. Ofcourse I had made It worse. What psycho wears a bloody shirt in public or even at all. Rick and Blake look at me with that face that says she's right and I can't help but laugh about how everyone's loyalty is blurry today.
"you are wasting your time. I am fine" I try telling ms Jonson who was head of guidance an counseling department.
" the earlier you start talking, the earlier you leave this room that we both know you have no interest in staying at Mr. smith." I slouch on the couch like a 12 year old and stare at her.
"whatever." I mutter and pretend to busy myself with the neat room. It bothers me how silent she gets and I want to storm out and find mason.
"you have always been a good kid, never one to fight, one to bully, I do not understand your change of behavior." She says and of course she can't. I don't like how she dismisses my right to be mad. She didn't get to judge my situation, I do not appreciate that. I bulge out of the door and hurry fast to get away from her voice yelling my name. Mason is right there grinning and seated like nothing happened. Like he didn't just turn my life upside down. I want to wrap my hands around his neck and cut off his air supply, but I decide against it. I move to sit, still unbothered by the blood that covered my shirt and I can feel eyes gazing at me. They follow me to my seat until the professor clears his mouth and all eyes turn to him.
"what now mason, you think that little excuse that you pulled today in desperation for attention will get you where you want? A place to be considered part of the family?" I ask mason as I drive past him walking home. I don't even wait for him to respond, otherwise id have to stop my car and strangle him right there on that path. This has to get better. I am loosing my mind over it.
Do i even want to know why mason is reacting this way? I want so much for my brother to stay with me so that i do not end up killing this guy that's seated unbothered smiling at my mom. Such a scumbag. He doesn't even turn to look at me. I mean, did his jealousy run that deep? It was a game! I don't really want her. Maybe that is the problem. The little games? Maybe I was the problem all along? I stop myself from blaming me and instead focus on the fact that he actually felt threatened by me. How would he react if he knew she actually was interested in me? She didn't say it, but I've been around girls long enough to tell genuine interest from body language. The thought only pushes me harder to want to destroy him. I don't care where his jealousy leads him now. I'm the bad guy in this story and he is not getting that.
"Lary, are you alright?" I hear mom call out. I didn't even realize i was grinning until she pointed it out, yet i have not the slightest explanation. The startle causes Mason to look my way and my jaw suddenly tenses. I did not know a human could contain such ability. The kind that makes your body tremble out of rage when seconds ago you were struggling to keep your amusement at bay. He smiles lightly obviously noticing the discomfort. My plate turns sour so fast, i find it hard to contain the rage . Before i can focus,his face is deep in the lasagna. I figured since he felt so good praising the meal and smiling, why not eat directly from the source? Why not just dig into it?
Mom stands to defend his ass and that only aggravates me more. I can't help but smile when my fist connects with his jaw. It gives me some kind of satisfaction even I am unable to explain. All this time, mom stares, jaw open unable to understand what is actually going on with the remaining lasagna in a bowl that she holds tightly. I am angry that Mason gets to laugh at my mom's lame jokes when he has no idea how long she has had to cry in silence. I was the only one that would go to her door when dad left us for years in Newyork. Not even once taking time to pick up her calls or call us. Lary was lucky he got to leave with dad for college but we had to get left behind. Every holiday, easter, thanks giving, Christmas, new year, all he did was send a worthless sum of money. Not even a text message to wish us well! Just lame kids got sent to live with us and go to my school. I'm angry Mason even gets to sit at this table and eat my mom's lasagna after the stunt he had pulled. I'm angry I give my dad so much credit. I have never stepped foot in a school he didn't own. I thought he was just being charitable but, he is obsessed with them! Receiving a few blows from Mason doesn't stop me from bursting his lip and mom yelling at us didn't impact any sense in me.
"What's your problem?" He says tugging at my collars and I attempt to choke him, pushing him back until he hits the wall and his body bounces from the wall slightly. I watch him struggle to breathe as mom tugs on my shoulder to let go. I loosen my grip on him and look straight into his fear striken eyes.
"What's my problem? Fuck off!" I snap, letting go of his neck and brushing my mom's hands off my shoulders. i walk away and ignore all her desperate and angry calls. I can hear her mumble something to Mason but I cannot look back, I could get tempted to go back and finish what I started.
Its beginning to get dark outside, not the kind of dark one cannot see anything, the kind that is foggy and good for an angry walk. That room couldn't contain me any longer and I wanted to call dad and ask him to come home but I knew what he would say. Hed call me out for being weak and say he didn't father no weak son. I cant go to my brother, leaving mason alone here pesturing mom was not even an option. I let my body lead me and it is back to where I first met Pony. I was running from the sadness that overwhelmed mom after dad was brought to trial after assulting an employee. Hewon obviously, he is above the law and fearless. That is why I wanted to be like him. Fearless but this time, able to protect my family. I am not a calm person at all, but since nine when I almost got sent to juvinille, I toned it down.
Now I smile and make sure and ensure I have my guard on check. Since masoon began the drama, that has not been easy for me. It is overwhelming having to pretend you are alright because the moment you lash out they will claim you are doing it since you have it all. They do not get the ammount of pressure this kind of reveal puts on you. Mason does not get it. Damn charity! I spot pony ahead walking with earphones in her ears and I try to call out to her. Perhabs it is the loud music.
I follow silently behind her, first to catch up and say hi then after I've followed too long and it would be weird if I said hi now, I follow from a distance. Not really stalking her, im just trying to find myself a distraction or maybe making sure no one takes advantage of her. She stops at an area with little kids playing football. They are dirty and look like they would pounce on you if you even got close. What is she dong here? My mind wanders for a while. I pull the strings of my hoodie to ensure it covers a huge part of my face and pull my sleeves over my palms so that the hoodie is hidding my skin almost completely.
Just as I think that someone is going to pop up with a gun held towards her face and I wouldn't know what to do, the kids run up to her and scramble to hug her. I cringe at the pain that must have caused her as I see her react silently to the pain. Typical Pony, she masks it with a smile. Everyone seems happy. They obviously know her judging by how their eyes glow when she unpacks the frosting filled donoughts. Who is this girl?
We are miles away from the streets we live at. This might be the furthest I have had to go by foot and why didn't she call a cub or more ask her music brother to take her? I throw those thoughts away. Having to see her laugh like this is more satisfying. I don't hear a thing they are saying but atleast I can tell they are happy.
The next few weeks are rough, a few fights here and there with Mason and a few other kids who think I am acting entitled just for behaving normal. Pony is not talking to me either but I have not stoped following her. To ensure her safety obviously, nothing more. I have even discovered that she loves listening to audio books rather. I could have thought it to be music but, the way she reacts to everything, sad emotions, her face twitches with disghust, sometimes she laughs so loud and sometimes her cheeks are flushed. No music can do that I'm sure.