Good morning!
G'day G'day, how y'all doing today?
Want a shot of tequila?
How about a joke?
Aight, so let me get this set up real quick… Yeah. So there were these two friends, yeah? They were excellent friends, real BFFs if you will. Now, these two pals went a little overboard one late night drinking and got into a brawl outside of the bar.
"I've always hated your guts!" Screamed friend number one.
"Fuck you!" Screamed friend number two.
Now, they were getting too noisy, so obviously someone had to go up to them and shut them the fuck up. One of the nearby residents who was trying their darndest to fall asleep decided to confront them.
A little girl whose parents had not been home approached them.
"What are y'all arguing about?" She had asked them.
"This guy won't shut up about his cheese collection," Friend one replied, pointing at friend two.
"You're the one trying to force me into a diet!" Friend two shouted back.
The little girl tilted her head before asking, "Can y'all quiet down? I'm tryna sleep."
Friend one, who was obviously still drunk, asked the little girl, "Hey, what do you think we should do to settle this?"
Now, the little girl had absolutely no idea what was going on. All she wanted was for them to just keep quiet.
"I just want you to be quiet?" She raised an eyebrow.
Friend two approached her as well, shoving Friend one. "I've always hated that you're better than me at everything!"
"Well, I've always hated that you're more popular than me!" Friend one shouted back.
The little girl rubbed her eyes before yawning and saying as a joke, "Why don't you guys just kill each other or something, I don't know."
She went back to sleep, knowing it was pointless to continue talking.
Next day, a brand new day.
Reports of a murder-suicide outside of the local pub.
Fun story. Anyways, let's get on with my day. What else could be more important than my day? The day that is mine. Technically it's everyone's day. But if it's everyone's day, could it still be considered 'my' day? Why is that even a phrase?
How's it going pals?
I woke up feeling like an angel. If that angel had both her wings snapped off, fallen to Hell and broken its back in the process.
I had woken up due to a knock on my door. I muttered half-asleep, "Who is it?"
"---," My Mom called me. "You awake?"
"I mean, I did respond," I said back, pushing myself off my bed. "What's up?"
"Open the door, I want to talk to you."
I put my glasses on and opened the door to face my Mom. I closed the door slightly behind me as I stood at the doorframe, facing my Mom. She was dressed in casual clothing. Oh right, she doesn't work on Sundays.
"I'm going to the market, you want anything?" She asked me.
I shook my head. "Don't need anything."
"With everything that's been going on recently, I think it's best if you stay at home today," My Mom suggested. "Don't go out. I tried asking your school to let you off, but because of your attendance thing…"
"Can't skip school," I nodded.
She stared at my face for a brief moment. I smiled weakly, "Is there something on my face?"
She shook her head. "No. Just that it's been a while since I've seen you without a smile. You also sound a lot… milder? Don't worry about it, make sure you get some rest. When you're ready to tell me about what happened yesterday, you can tell me."
I nodded.
She brought my head closer and kissed my forehead before saying, "You're gonna have to eat bread for breakfast today. I'm going out with your dad to the market. If you need anything like going to the convenience store, make Fable do it."
"What?" Fable called from the dining table.
I forced a smile. "I'll be fine."
She turned and left. Fable told me from the dining table, "Oh yeah, Yin's visiting again today."
"Really?" My Mom exclaimed.
"It's kind of last minute," Fable shrugged.
"What time will she be here?" My Mom demanded.
Dad was off in the background doing whatever he was doing. I was just standing leaning against the frame of my door. Fable replied, "Sometime in the afternoon. Maybe around twelve?"
"Is she having lunch here?"
"I don't think so."
"Clean the house before she gets here," My Mom ordered.
I slid back into my room, closing the door as well. I let out a sigh before heading over to my bed. I pulled my phone out and texted Catherine 'I'm under house arrest at the moment'
I tossed the phone to the side.
Oh right, I have a boyfriend.
I texted Otto 'I'm not allowed out of my house right now'
I tossed the phone aside and just stared at the ceiling. After a few minutes, I felt the vibration of my phone through the bed. Turns out, Otto already sent me a reply. Damn, do you really have that much free time?
He sent 'Did something happen?'
Me: Kinda
Me: My Mom got worried because I almost died
Me: Completely unreasonable if you ask me
Otto: WHAT?
Otto: What happened?
Otto: Are u alright?
Otto: Why didn't u tell me anything?
I feel like stopping the conversation already. Seriously, I'm being completely serious here. I would much rather be asleep than do whatever this is.
After texting Otto a bit more, Catherine sent a reply.
'Oh, what time you free to call then?'
I'll say now is a good time.
I texted her back 'Are you busy at the moment?'
'Not particularly'
'Wanna call now?'
'Hold on a sec'
I waited for a solid second.
My phone started vibrating so suddenly that I accidentally dropped it on my bed. I tapped the green button in a hurry and put it on speaker mode. I cleared my throat before saying, "Hello and good morning!"
Some static went through before Catherine said in a loud voice, "Hello?"
I got closer to the phone before trying to speak again by saying, "Hello?"
"I can hear you now," Catherine confirmed. "Sorry, the connection in my apartment usually isn't the best. I'm heading over to the park right now."
I could hear her shutting the door in the background.
"No worries," I replied. "Surprised you were able to even call in the first place."
Catherine cursed softly in the background before her voice became loud to say, "Sorry, did you say something?"
"I'm glad we were able to call," I tried to say.
Catherine cursed again before apologising, "I'm gonna need a minute… I think I left my shoes inside."
"You keep your shoes inside your apartment?"
"Better than letting them get stolen," She retorted.
After a couple of minutes, I heard the door shut once again. Catherine then said to me, "We haven't spoken in a bit. How have you been doing?"
"I'm not talking until you find a place to sit," I countered.
"I'm gonna need a minute."
After about three or five minutes, Catherine let out a sigh, telling me, "I'm at the park nearby. What's been going on on your side?"
"Nothing much, I guess?"
Catherine paused for a moment. I asked her, "Why's there a pause? I wasn't planning on elaborating."
She scoffed before finally asking the real question. "Then why are you under house arrest then?"
I snapped my finger, which I hoped she would be able to hear through the phone. "Okay, so I went out really early in the morning and ended up getting involved with a group of sketchy guys. I'm alright though, this homeless guy saved me."
"You were out? Was it to visit me?" Catherine asked, her voice sounding much more concerned.
"Nah, I was just out for a stroll," I laughed lightly. "As you do."
"I'm glad you're fine," Catherine let out a sigh. "Don't do anything that dangerous ever again, you hear me?"
"Aww, then how would I be able to visit you at the convenience store?" I joked around.
I glanced off to the side where my calendar was. "Actually, never mind that."
Catherine was quiet for a moment before she started talking again. "A really big and fluffy dog just walked by."
"That's cool."
"Yeah, you don't have to visit me on Saturdays," Catherine insisted. "We could hang out on other days, it's fine."
I nodded before remembering no one could see me.
"So what have you been doing recently?" I asked Catherine. "You've been doing your internship, how's it going?"
"It's fine, I guess?" Catherine let out a sigh. "Since I'm not gonna be there much longer, I guess everyone wants me to do as much as I can."
"Would you be going back there after University?"
"Can't really say for certain. Who knows? Maybe I'll go there, maybe I won't. I'm definitely going to hunt like hell for a job after university."
"Reminds me," I pointed out. "Why did you send me pictures of you picking up doughnuts?"
"I don't know," Catherine laughed lightly. "Thought it would be funny."
"I was in the middle of class," I stated.
"So?"
"You bring up a good point."
I laughed lightly, very, very lightly as I stared at my phone. I felt my eyes start to water up. I took my glasses off to wipe my eyes. Catherine brought up, "Hey, so I saw this place that was selling shaved ice the other day. You wanna visit it one day?"
"Shaved ice?" I asked. "Ain't that just water at this point?"
"I don't know, sounds cool though," Catherine replied. "Hey, I'm asking you to hang out, you really going to say no?"
"I would never think about saying no!" I defended myself. "Just that… would we even have time to hang out?"
"Next Sunday?" Catherine suggested.
I glance over at the calendar on my desk once again. I inhaled sharply before responding, "Well… I'm not too sure about that. Might have to get back to you on that one."
"Yeah, when you're free from house arrest," Catherine joked.
"Wow, a joke? That's rare," I teased.
"Shut up."
I chuckled before teasing her again, "After you get a job, you gonna look for a hubby?"
"The fuck says 'hubby'?" Catherine asked.
"I do."
Catherine followed up. "Nothing's set in stone yet. Who knows if I find someone? I got a couple of plans, but nothing's guaranteed."
"I would hate to be an adult," I mentioned.
"Just you wait."
"You watch Hamilton?" I asked, genuinely curious.
"Uh… Heard about it, never watched it though," Catherine stated. "Is it any good?"
"Is it any good?" I repeated after her. "Wow, you really don't know about Hamilton? It's so good I've watched it about five times."
"What's it about?"
"The great land of 'Murica," I said jokingly. "You can't tell, but I'm doing a salute."
I am in fact not saluting.
"I guess I'll check it out when I've got the time," Catherine assured me. "Haven't been watching any movies recently."
"Oh, it's a musical," I said to her.
"...Okay?" Catherine sounded a tad unsure. "How did you watch a musical five times?"
"Nah, I lied about the number of times I watched it," I corrected myself. "I've watched it on streaming thrice and listened to the playlist about too many times."
"Great, how long is it?"
"About three hours."
"Even better."
Catherine waited for me to finish chuckling before asking me, "Anything interesting going on in your life recently?"
"Uh…" I scratched my head. "So remember how I totally attended my brother's birthday party and didn't try to skip out a single bit of it?"
"Uh-huh."
"Well, I think it's all good now," I elaborated. "Spoke with his girlfriend, spoke with him, spoke with my Mom, everything's good. I think."
"That's good," Catherine agreed. "It's good that you're talking with your family."
I thought about what else I could talk about. Surprisingly not much outside of Dear Candace. I then told her, "Yeah, so some news. Some crazy bitch tried stabbing me in the middle of class."
"Okay, how is this not the first thing you mention?"
"I don't know, slipped my mind?" I tried to defend myself. "Wasn't too big of a deal. I mean, she only stabbed right above my eye. Might have a scar. I think a scar would be cool."
"Everything's fine right?" Catherine asked. "Last time I met you, you had a nasty bump at the back of your head."
"Nah, the bump's gotten slightly better," I assured her. "News though, I'm a lot more injured. Got a stab above my eye, a couple of scratches."
"What kind of fight club is your school?"
"I'm alright," I laughed about it. "But hey, I'm still alive."
"You keep this up, you ain't gonna be alive much longer," Catherine sighed. "You've been in too many dangerous situations. You ought to be scared."
"Huh, 'ought'," I just repeated.
"Shut up."
"That's offensive, I'm offended," I said with a smile. "I can't believe you've done this."
There was a brief moment of silence before I came to a realisation of something I probably should tell Catherine about. "Oh yeah, I got a boyfriend now."
"Huh?"
"I got a boyfriend?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Boyfriend," I repeated.
"You got a boyfriend?" She questioned.
I could tell she was not believing me in the slightest. I told her, "Yeah, it's the most popular guy in my school."
"Nah, you're kidding," She brushed off. "This isn't a funny joke."
"Sure," I played along. "Totally a joke."
"No way you somehow got a boyfriend in the one week I haven't seen you," Catherine exclaimed. "I didn't know you had game like that."
"I don't know, it just sort of happened," I elaborated.
"Still don't believe you until the guy's in front of my face," Catherine determined.
"Too bad then."
I let out a dramatic sigh. "I can't believe my friend would think me a liar! The little trust in me you have."
"Wait, you're being serious?"
"Yeah," I confirmed.
"Okay…" She said before letting out a long sigh. "That's a lot to take in."
"I got a boyfriend, what's the big deal about it?" I asked. "Sure, he's like the most popular guy in my school with a whole group of crazy fangirls and the crush of my biggest bully."
"You better keep it a secret or you're dead," Catherine advised.
"Who knows?" I shrugged. "Whatever sounds funniest at the moment."
Pause. Water break. A sip of water and I'm all set.
"How was the confession like?" Catherine asked.
"Well, he invited me to a cafe and just sprung the news on me," I explained the scenario to Catherine. "He confessed and I accepted."
"The most popular guy in school confessed to you?" Catherine repeated my situation.
"Basically, yeah."
"What do you mean 'basically'? Isn't that what literally happened?" Catherine exclaimed.
I tried calming her down. "You seem a lot more enthusiastic about this whole dating thing than I am."
"Actually, I think it's weird that you seem indifferent to the whole situation," Catherine stated.
"Eh… I don't know," I let out a sigh.
"What's wrong?"
I rubbed my face. "It's just that… I've never dated before. Over the past few months? Days? I don't know. I've just kinda lost interest in these kinds of things."
"Then why did you accept?"
"Who knows? If we hang out enough, I might be able to feel something again."
I stared at my phone, staring at Catherine's profile picture. It was plain white with a duck drawn on it. Catherine sighed, potentially shaking her head. "You gotta get your act together or you'll be in for a ride."
"You sound really old," I teased.
"Shut up."
I fidgetted with my fingers and shifted my seating position before asking Catherine, "Uh… you're wise, I'm sure you've got plenty of good advice."
"You bring up my age one more time and I'll punch you," Catherine threatened.
"What? I would never!"
I tapped my temple before asking a question that had been on my mind. "You know, I've been thinking. You're broke and all, but how do you have a car?"
"It's a rental," She stated. "I've got to return it eventually."
"Ah, makes sense then."
I did not chuckle. Instead, I continued with what I wanted to say. "If you made a mistake when talking to a friend, how do you fix it?"
"Did something happen?"
"Not particularly," I let out a sigh. "The girl that's been bullying me has been on good behaviour recently. She's even tried hanging out with me for some reason. I think I said something to make her not like me recently. How do I fix that?"
"I swear, you're the first person that ever wants to get closer to their bully," Catherine countered.
"Hey, but it's a real issue for me though."
Catherine paused to think about it for a couple of seconds. "What do you even want to do by getting closer to that girl anyways?"
"Oh, that's a secret," I said, emphasising 'secret'.
"Uh-huh, a secret."
I leaned back into my bed, holding my phone above my head. "Well, that's something only I need to know, you know."
"Just don't do anything too crazy," She pleaded.
"It's nothing crazy," I countered. "It's something completely normal."
"If you want some advice…" Catherine started talking but paused. "Yeah… I'm not the best for that."
"Why? Is it 'cause you don't have any friends?"
"Yeah, what the hell else did you expect?" She retorted.
I let out a laugh that surprised me. I cleared my throat before telling Catherine, "I guess I'll have to ask someone else then."
"That's a lot more viable."
I heard some noise. Okay, so I'm hearing the door being opened. I said to Catherine, "Um… gonna have to hang up now. I think my parents are home."
"Aight, talk to you next time."
"In a bit," I signed off.
Putting my phone aside, I got off my bed. I opened the door slightly to look out. Fable was there, and right beside him was who else but his precious girlfriend? I closed the door silently before checking the time on my phone. First of all, it's nowhere near the afternoon, the hell is she doing here?
"---!" Fable called out to me. "Yin's here!"
"Oh, she doesn't need to talk to me if she doesn't want to," Yin tried to defend me.
I patted my face and rushed to the washroom where I stared at myself in the mirror. I massaged my cheeks and made sure I was smiling. I put my glasses on and opened the door to see Fable standing right in front of me.
I pointed at the door and joked, "If the door opened the other way, I would have slapped you with it."
"Yin's here," Fable repeated.
I threw a peace sign in Yin's direction, who just kinda waved back awkwardly. I closed the door behind me, Fable stepping away as I did so. I commented, "Fable said you were coming over in the afternoon, quite surprised that you're here so early."
"Oh, I misjudged my travel time," Yin said, looking slightly embarrassed.
"Nah, it's fine," I laughed it off.
Fable went to Yin's side and asked, "Do you want anything to drink? Coffee?"
"We also have tea," I added. "No one drinks it anyways."
"I don't really drink coffee," Yin stated. "Sorry."
"You're like her then," Fable said, pointing at me.
I gave him a look before approaching Yin, saying, "What d'ya think of our place? Pretty neat, right?"
"It's nice…" Yin said, looking around.
She then faced me. "You don't wear glasses at school?"
"Nah," I physically did a waving motion, shaking my head.
She then looked down at my attire. I grinned, whispering to her, "See something you like?"
"What?" Yin's face flushed red.
Fable stepped in, telling me, "Can you not do all of that early in the morning?"
"It's late morning," I corrected him.
I paced around a little bit while Fable started chatting to Yin about whatever it was he was talking about. When I finally saw my opportunity, I asked Yin, "What are y'all planning on doing today?"
"Oh, I'm visiting to meet up with Fable before we hit the gym," Yin answered honestly.
"Gotta say, I really appreciate you taking that guy away from his computer," I thanked her, mostly for the jokes.
She laughed lightly and awkwardly. "That's what your Mom said as well."
"Great minds think alike, what can I say?"
Soon enough, the doorbell rang. Fable got up to open the door. The first thing my Mom said when she saw Fable open the door was, "Have you cleaned the floors yet? What time will Yin be visiting?"
"She's already here," Fable stated.
My Mom stepped in. My parents were carrying a couple of bags of ingredients from the market. Yin waved awkwardly before my Mom greeted her, "Hello. Didn't expect you to be here so early. Fable said you were coming over in the afternoon, you could imagine the surprise."
"I'm sorry about that," Yin apologised. "I left my house a bit early."
"Nah, no worries," My Mom waved her apology away.
Dad also entered, nodding in Yin's direction as his form of greeting. Wow, that's rare, having the whole family meet with Yin. Has this happened recently or something? Who knows anymore, huh?
"Will you be staying for lunch?" My Mom asked Yin.
"I wouldn't want to trouble you," Yin tried to refuse.
"I was thinking of getting delivery," My Mom suggested. "It's perfectly alright if you stay for lunch."
I just chilled where I was.
"Then I guess I'll have lunch then…"
"What are we getting?" Fable asked.
My Mom thought about it while dad was off in the background putting the stuff they got from the market away. She turned to look at Yin, asking, "Do you have any preferences? Any cravings at the moment?"
Yin shook her head profusely. "I-I'm fine with anything."
Her gaze then shifted to me. I put my hands in the air, defending myself before she could even ask a question, "Don't look at me. I'm just here as a decoration."
"Well, who else am I gonna ask?" She shot back at me.
I gestured in Fable's general direction.
"Pfft, why would I ask him?" My Mom did a 'shoo' motion at Fable. "He'll say something like how he's fine with anything."
"Fair point," I agreed with her.
"I wouldn't say something like that," Fable defended himself.
My Mom then faced him, jutting her chin in his direction. "Alright then, what do you want for lunch?"
He opened his mouth halfway before closing it. He cleared his throat and put his hands up. "You make a valid point."
Yin seemed rather humoured by the situation, even laughing at Fable's response.
I rested my head against the ding table which Yin, Fable and I were seated around. I told my Mom, "You could get anything edible and I think it'll be fine."
"Any allergies?" My Mom asked Yin.
"Uh… not really?" Yin replied. "I don't really like spinach though."
"Popeye would not be happy," I joked.
My Mom cracked a smile while Fable smacked his head. Yin blinked a few times, looking confused. She asked, "Uh… the fast food chain?"
"The cartoon," I corrected her. "Man's forearms are dynamic."
"O… kay…?"
"I'm just gonna deliver pizza then," My Mom sighed.
After she placed the delivery, I was obliged to just sit there watching Fable and Yin barely talk. My Mom was too busy talking to Yin to leave them alone. If it wasn't for my already bad reputation, I would have disappeared a long time ago.
"--- likes sour candies," My Mom randomly brought up.
I had been spacing out until I heard my name. I looked up, asking, "Huh? What's this about sour candies?"
"You like then, don't you?"
"I mean, I do."
My Mom laughed and patted my back. She pointed at me when talking to Yin, "Her tastes are just like mine."
"You're exaggerating," I insisted.
"What's your favourite food?"
"Tangerines?"
My Mom did a 'you see?' motion. I folded my arms, leaning back in my seat. I countered, "You probably don't even like tangerines that much."
"Why do you think we have a box of them every year?"
I could not think of a comeback, so I just kept quiet. Fable did not seem to be all too interested in having my Mom talk to Yin about every little detail in our family. I could probably guess why. Who knows? What if Fable's little accident with his ex-girlfriend gets exposed to Yin?
Would be a tragedy.
"What time will you guys be leaving?" I asked.
Fable glanced in Yin's direction.
"Uh… maybe around one or two?" Yin said, not too sure herself.
I'm gonna have to fast-forward a little bit. I didn't really do much except sit there, pretend like I was listening and smile. The pizzas were fine, I guess? It was from this place called 'Yellow Pig'. No clue why it's named that, it just is.
When they were gone, I went back into my room.
Right before I returned to my room, my Mom reminded me, "Make sure to keep up with your schoolwork, okay?"
"I'll try."
I just don't have the motivation to do that.
Been a lot of talking, innit?
But hey, what else am I going to do when I'm not allowed out of the house?
Fable and his girlfriend… I've been observing how they act around each other. Can't say I really understand too much.
Oh well.
I checked my phone.
Catherine had texted me 'I'll be out for a bit. Got some school-related work'
Otto also sent me several texts.
Otto: About our relationship…
Otto: Do u want to keep it a secret or…
Otto: Just wanted ur opinion
It's from a couple of hours ago.
Me: As funny as telling everyone would be, I don't feel like getting torn apart by your fans
Me: I guess it's fine if we tell our close friends?
A minute later.
Otto: Oh, ok
Me: Btw, you wanna meet up tmr?
Me: Morning
Otto: Sure
Otto: But where tho
Me: School
Otto: School cafeteria?
Me: Sure
Me: 6:30?
Otto: I'm fine with that
Me: I'm preparing a few interview questions for you
Me: Be prepared
Otto: Haha
Otto: That's concerning
How the hell are you typing a laugh through text? That's just… also, why do you need to let it be known that you're laughing?
Me: I got some stuff to do right now
Me: Let's speak more tmr?
Otto: Sure
Me: In a bit
Otto: See u tmr
With that out of the way, I went about my usual routine of doing absolutely nothing. I tried doing some work from school, but I was too distracted to do anything at all. Dinner rolled about and Fable was back.
He looked pretty gassed.
"How's your session today?" I asked him for fun.
"My body fucking hurts," He groaned.
My Mom quickly turned her head to Fable. She opened her mouth to say something but decided to stop herself. She then commented, "Oh right, Fable's 18 now. He's allowed to swear."
"Ha!" Fable said, finally having won something.
Well, that's about it for today. Didn't really do much other than just exist, I guess? But who knows? I'm sure there are a bunch of people who are just begging to be able to exist. You'd be surprised.
So, how do I end things off?
Hi, I exist and I just have to say… see you in a bit.