I woke up on the hospital bed again, and this time around the principal and few teachers were with Me.
"How are you feeling? Susan asked touching me but I couldn't utter a word. I was still feeling very weak and I felt very helpless on that bed.
"Hmm Amanda take it easy on yourself o, let it not be God rescued you from death and you want to kill yourself with your own hands, take it easy o, one of the teachers said.
"What are you saying? Do you know what she's going through right now? You think its easy for her? The principal asked but I was just looking at them. I couldn't even voice out, all I did was look and breathed as they kept talking.
They summarized by saying I should be strong and they left and I closed my eyes.
"Amanda, Joshua gently called and I opened my eyes.
"Where is safe? I asked him.
"No place is safe Amanda and I understand this is your first experience, I clearly understand what you're going through trust me, he replied.
"You understand? How? I asked and he smiled.
"I laughed when Susan told me you didn't want me because I'm not from a Pentecostal church and all that. But the truth is, i was born and dedicated there. I grew to see my parents a strong and active member in church and I was in the children church choir.
My late father was a deacon and the church financial Secretary. Then this quarrel happened with him and a fellow deacon in the church which was the treasurer. The treasurer do steal from the church box and wanted my dad to cover up for him as the financial Secretary but my dad refused. Then he fell ill and died after a month, but it was a shocking news when it was confessed the deacon killed him so he won't be put in trouble.
Hearing that I broke down. I hated the church and didn't want to have anything to do with it. I couldn't understand how even in the church I thought was safe, my father was killed by a fellow Christian. Where was God? Why did God keep silent until he was put in the grave? I saw no need going to church and I was that way for months until something happened again.
There was this quiet girl in my school, rumors broke out that she's pregnant and student didn't waste time to lash at her.
But I noticed she was going into depression and I didn't want to believe she was that type of person. I went close to her and slowly she opened up the real story to me, something she couldn't tell her parents out of fear.
She said her father was poisoned and they were directed to a prophet who deals with such case. According to her the prophet do put them in prayers and also gives them herbs to apply on his leg until one fateful day she went to the church to get herbs for her father.
There were so many people in church who wanted to see the prophet but the prophet sent for her in his office. She went there and the man pleaded with her to please help him cook because he's tired and hungry.
She accepted and he directed her to his house and gave her money and his house key.
She got there and prepared rice and beans for him, and just when she wanted going he walked in.
She innocently told him she just finished cooking and was about going back to the church but she noticed his eyes was on her body. She had removed the shirt she wore and had only a sleeveless on because she was at home alone.
Hmm before she knew it he was already touching her and that was how he forced himself on her and filled her head with so many threats for a 16 years old girl.
She's so scared to tell her parents what happened because they respect the man so much after he healed her father. They pay their tithes to him and see him as a god. Where will she start from that the prophet they hold so much respect for forced her in his house? Who will believe it was a rape?
Hearing that I was so mad the more as it added to my bitterness against the church. I was the one who exposed the case to her parents and it was not an easy battle.
And it was so disappointing her parents found it hard to believe it was the prophet that was responsible, and my mom on this other hand was so angry I got myself involved in their problems and sent me immediately to my uncle to school and that was how I lost contact with the girl and the whole stuff. So you see Amanda, this things are not new. If anyone says the church is where you are saved is only deceiving you, no one is saved in the church but in the lord. So when you put all your trust on your pastors so much or in your church, you are bound to fail.
My business right now in church is to enter there and worship him and off I go. I don't look at the name or the pastor as long as there is this conviction that I am in the house of God I'm very okay there to worship my father and I'll go my way.
So many pretenders and killers hiding and disguising themselves in the church committing havoc.
Amanda there is no place safe and trust no one, Joshua said while I was just looking at him.
"Help me tell her o, when she sees me not all that serious with church like committing myself in departments and all that she sees me not serious with God. My service is to God and not man, I have no business with man else what I'll be doing is nothing but eye service to impress man.
Ever since a pastor did something to my senior aunt everyone at home became alert.
My aunt served the government and retired and she was owed her gratuity for so many months.
Finally she was paid and the first thing she did was go tell her pastor that she has been paid and asked him what she should do with the money.
Can you imagine that? She didn't tell her husband o but her pastor first.
The so called pastor told her to keep the money in the bank and think of a very good business to invest in and she shouldn't tell any body about this because people are wicked bla bla..... "Not even her husband or children? Joshua cut in.
"No body Joshua not even the cockroach in the house. Before my aunt knew it, she said the pastor called her and pleaded she should please loan the money to him to put in the church building. Whenever she needs the money he's going to return it because the money he is expecting has not arrived yet.
My aunt didn't think twice, she withdrew 3.5 million and gave it to him and he blessed her.
5 months later she settled on the business she wanted doing and told the pastor and he said okay. She waited for like 2 weeks but he didn't say anything to her and she reminded him again but he asked her which money?
"Eh! I shouted on bed.
"Shout na. I say pastor ask am which money? My aunt thought it was a joke o but he was damn serious. The pastor said the money was never a loan and where is the proof that she loaned him money? He said she donated the money to the church and he never asked for it. That was when her husband came to know about it o and the family members, but the pastor said we are touching the anointed of God and doing his prophet harm, Susan said and I didn't know if I should laugh or cry with such a story.
"Just look at the mess, why didn't she trust her husband she married for years? But she heaped her whole trust on a stranger simply because he's a pastor, Joshua said.
"Her husband separated from her o, he said he's not sure she's the woman he married for good 25 years. It wasn't an easy something, we didn't know if we should settle her with the husband or fight for 3 million, everything was just a mess because we had no single proof or agreement such a transaction happened between my aunt and the pastor. She fell sick o and If not God and the fact her husband had to forgive her, I don't think she would have survived it. Then why did the bible said that judgement will start from the house of God?
"It must surely begin from there. I'm not disputing the fact that real men of God are there, but we all need the discernment of God and his direction so we Wont end up in the lion hand that will crush us, Joshua said.
"That is true, Susan said and looked at Me and I was just speechless. The weakness I felt just vanished with the stories they shared,
"Amanda just rest okay, you'll be fine. I'm just happy you don follow see wetin dey happen for this world and you conquered, that's more important, Susan said touching me smiling but I was very lost.
If those who knows and confess the truth is still dark in the heart, what will be the fate of those coming up in the faith? No wonder it was written,
"If the foundation be destroyed, what can the righteous do??..