Imperfections by xoxo Destiny

I woke up and went straight to wash my face, avoiding the mirror on the wall as usual. Of course, no one's face is presentable when they wake up in the morning, but still, my subconscious manages to create an unhealthy cycle of unproductive thoughts, which successfully makes me feel conscious for the rest of the day. Hence, I was eighteen when I swore that I would start my day with self-motivation and optimism instead of finding flaws in my reflection on rising dawn. From then on, I started meditating whenever I was in front of the mirror; it helps me keep my anxieties at bay. I stood there and closed my eyes for a minute or what it seemed to be, reminding myself about being grateful, embracing my flaws and imperfections as my distinct identity, and not doubting Almighty's personal creation. Then, finally, I started to brush my teeth. Unfortunately, patience and tranquility do not come naturally to my soul. By the time I was out of the washroom, Disco had already woken up. He ran to me; I petted him affectionately. I have never been so profound, pure, and angelic in anyone's company since my childhood. But no one remembers how innocent and virtuous they were in their days of blooming, or wouldn't that idyllic self be their most considerable inspiration to follow. Ironic, isn't it? You're first given the most quintessential form of life, and since you're unenlightened and ignorant during that phase, it is snatched away from you. Childhood is like a dream where you live up to the ultimate goal, and the life after is like a reality where you keep trying to reach that goal. Though, I think my endearment towards Disco can only be attributed to the fact that he is a dog who wants to selflessly love his keeper and the belief that I trust him better than any human. He would never have any second thoughts about me or see me as a girl whose personality lacks some godly attributes. Also, he cannot potentially do anything to harm the serenity and equilibrium of my soul, unlike the fellow members of my kind. The fact that he would never leave me for a better keeper proves it. I wonder how weak a human being can be. They can only bear pleasant intentions in the presence of their admirers, in the company of people who are unaware of their weaknesses or will be unable to overpower them. They keep running away from the places they sense any sign of complications. It's a noteworthy mystery how animals live among so many insecurities, enemies, and potential problems, as we see it, in perfect harmony. Instead of escaping, they learn to change themselves by adapting. It's utterly inconceivable to expect them to leave their jungles and habitats. After I thoroughly fondled my pooch and made sure to mess up all his fur, I went downstairs, following Disco wagging his tail. I noticed how cute and cuddly he looked even with his disheveled body hair. Oh good! That reminds me of taking him to a barber. My day kick starts with making myself a smoothie of the day. I have a routine of drinking different smoothies on different days of the week. The refrigerator in my kitchen has a timetable stuck for the very purpose and has details ranging from the recipes to little doodling of the ingredients. I even took it upon myself to give them interesting names. Whenever my friends come over, they'd wildly laugh over my crazy obsession with so much conduct and order. But it's not upon me. I can't help it. As a result, I hide the timetable whenever I invite them over. Today is Tangerine Tuesday. I collected all the ingredients from the refrigerator. I chopped my peaches and carrots all identical even when I consciously know that nobody is watching me work, and at the end, they are going to be tossed into the blender. My kitchen is full of measuring cups and spoons, and I like to use specific measurements only. I wouldn't say I appreciate it when any one of the ingredients is missing or is insufficient. As a consequence, I have developed a habit of checking my fridge beforehand. My smoothie was ready. I dropped a metal straw into it and was all set to drink it; I avoid drinking any liquids directly, afraid that any residue might be left behind on my lips. Self-consciousness has been profoundly ingrained in me. Even if I try to prevent it, my subconscious doesn't let go. Although, I do feel as if I have massively improved over the years. I completed my daily household chores, fed Disco, and then went upstairs to my wardrobe. Outfit selection is a time-consuming task, at least for me, and that is why I make sure that I have enough time at my disposal. I'm not particularly eager to rush myself during this process. I have defined my tastes and arranged my closet according to the places I visit- office, field, meetings, official gatherings, company parties, out-of-town visits, casual and holidays, parties out of work, and so on. I dress my hair, wear makeup and choose my accessories accordingly. Sometimes I have to change my outfits multiple times a day. Consequently, my colleagues jokingly call me a diva. Let's see, today I'll be working in my office and won't be meeting anyone. So I can allow myself to be a little casual. More light in color and comfortable will work fine- something with a collar or a prominent neckpiece that does not require any jewelry. I took out a sky blue top, black pants, and a scarf with some bizarre black and blue patterns. After I was done with picking out my clothes, I quickly changed into athleisure and shoes that would complement and rushed downstairs; it was time for the day's run with Disco. I raised my hand to see the time. It was 6:57, just like always. My cheeks warmed up with a sense of satisfaction for being on time. And as always, my cream sable Pomeranian was waiting by the door for his lady to arrive. Sometimes I have caught myself feeling as though it's better to stay with animals than with humans. They have such a sense of time, disciplined when well trained, and are sensitive about human emotions. Never will they hurt you. They're more loyal than your own subconscious, more understanding than your mood swings, more optimistic than your deepest motivation, more trustworthy than your tongue, and easier to tame than your mind. Disco is like my perfect escape to a utopian world where you can attach, expect, desire, depend, be vulnerable and also be fearless, all at the same time. After looking at my dog with an earnest longing, I flung the door open and smiled at the rising Californian sun.