THE intensity between the nude artworks and not-worthy-imagination that keeps pressuring the mood here—I can't keep on like this. Kung magpapatuloy pa ang karumihan ng utak ko . . . hindi ko na alam kung saan ako pupulutin kapag nawalan pa ako ng rocket.
"Ten thousand pesos every session, free rides papunta rito at pauwi ng boarding house mo, and free foods. You can ask anything whatever you need . . ." Sir Rodriguez said, when we were at school.
If I can just easily ignore all of his masterpieces, maybe my sweat would stop me from feeling uneasy.
"I think you should get some shower; don't you think?" I didn't notice his presence not until he spoke in front of me.
I can't speak. Pero 'yong baba ko nakabukas lang at tila isang asong naglalaway sa isang butong nakahanda sa harapan ko. Ang mga butil ng tubig mula sa kaniyang pagkaligo ay tila nang-aakit sa akin upang dilaan ang buo niyang balat sa katawan. Nakatingin lang ako sa kaniyang buong katawan.
He looks very hot with his white towel wrapped around his waist. His abdominal muscles are visible to my eyes that only spots goddess-like-figure, and he's one of them—A goddess, indeed.
"You should stop staring at me, or you'll be shifting to another job that I think you aren't capable of doing it," he said in a degrading tone of his voice.
"Excuse me?" Nakabalik lang ako sa huwisyo ko no'ng tila tinapakan niya ang pagkatao ko. "What is this job you're talking about that I'm not capable of doing it?" It's not that I'm curious and might also give an application for the job he's talking about, but rather prove to him that I can do anything as long as it takes good amount of money, of course.
"Never mind. You're not here for that, right?" Umalis siya sa harap ko at tumungo sa kuwarto niya.
Bakit ko pa ba siya pinatulan? Eh, hindi naman ako allowed yata para makipag-away sa clients ko. I should calm myself down. I couldn't do this if I create an awkward space gap between me and my student. Ang tagal naman yata niyang magbihis. We're running out of time. At syempre, bawat oras na sinasayang niya ay katumbas na rin iyon ng class hours namin. May bayad pa rin. Bahala siya. If he's really wanted to learn, he should try his best to put some energy on himself.
Nabalik ulit ang atensyon ko sa mga artworks niya habang naiinip sa paghihintay na matapos siyang magbihis. I wonder how he made all of these things. The inspiration—motivations of doing and deriving into a great pattern. Ang pagguhit ba at pagsusulat ay pareho lang? I don't think it does.
Pagkatapos niyang magbihis, agad na inumpisahan ko ang first class namin. I wanted to finish it as soon as possible. I don't want to stay much longer inside his room, and especially with someone who's hot as his artworks. Baka magka-boner ako rito at mapansin niya iyon. It would be awfully great to be seen by others with my filthy thing.
*****
ANOTHER day to be alive.
After our class, I immediately ran to the school library. I have to study there for our quiz this afternoon. Hindi kasi ako nakapag-aral kagabi. Late ko na rin kasi natapos ang pagsusulat ng update para sa ongoing novel ko. I was torn between studying or writing an update since both are important to me. Kailangan kong mag-study para sa future ko, habang kailangan ko rin magsulat ng update para may sahurin ako sa unang linggo sa susunod na buwan. Ipambabayad ko rin kasi 'yon sa boarding house ko at para groceries.
Pagpasok ko sa school library, agad akong tumungo sa paborito kong puwesto. Mula papasok patungo sa kaliwang bahagi ng silid, hanggang sa pinakadulo ng bookshelves. Sa aking pagmamadali, hindi ko naiwasang mabangga ang isang mesa na may taong nakaupo roon ng mag-isa.
Sa sobrang pagmamadali at kaba na naramdaman ko ay napasabi na lang ako ng, "Hala, sobrang sorry po talaga. Hindi ko po sinasadya." Sasabihin ko rin sana na nagmamadali ako at marami pang rason ko, pero hindi naman iyon kailangan siguro. Mas magiging mataas pa ang oras na masasayang ko kapag nakipagsagutan pa ako sa kaniya.
Hindi ko agad napansin na kilala ko pala siya. Nang tiningnan ko siya sa mukha ay nanlaki ang aking mga mata. What the hell? Out of all people in this university, why him?
"I am so sorry, Jaxon. I really am. It's just—"
"Oh, Damon, you're so cute." He smiled after saying those unexpected words. Nakaupo lang siya habang nakantingin sa akin na may halong natatawa.
Tama ba narinig ko? He said that I'm cute? Impossible. A guy like him won't compliment me just simply as that, especially after what I did.
"Nananaginip ka lang, Dimmie! Wake up!" I shook my head off to get back to reality.
"You're so weird, Damon," Jaxon said. He's still smiling and he looks even more weird than I am. Kung makapagsalita, huh, parang hindi siya weird. Kung ano-ano ang pinagsasabi niya.
"Are you real?" Ano ba itong pinagsasabi ko? Syempre totoo siya. "I mean—" Bago pa man ako makapagsalita ay inabot niya ang kaliwa kong kamay at dahan-dahan niya itong inilapit sa . . . Nakatingin lang ako sa kamay niyang nakahawak sa kamay ko, kung saan at ano ang gagawin niya rito.
"What are you doing?" Sa aking pagkabigla ay agad kong inalis ang kamay ko sa kaniyang kamay. Napakabilis ng pangyayari. Ang akala kong isang inosente at seryosong tao ay may matindi ring pa lang libog sa katawan.
"Damon, are you okay?" Someone just snaps me on. Nang tingnan ko ang isang mukha sa harapan ko na nakaupo sa kabilang upuan . . . "Parang namumutla ka yata, huh. Ayos ka lang ba? Do you want me to call the school nurse?" He seems very worried about me. And I don't why exactly.
"J-Jaxon? I thought y-you . . . H-How—What happen—" Biglang nanlabo ang aking mga paningin. Sa hindi ko alam na dahilan ay nakaramdam din ako ng pagkabigat sa aking mga balikat. Hindi ko maipaliwanag kung ano ang nangyayari sa aking sarili't parang mabigat na umiikot ang aking ulo. Nasusuka ako na wala namang lalabas.
"That's it. I'm going to call some help. Hang in there, bro." But before he could get away, I hold his wrest to stop him.
"D-Do—" And that was the last incomplete word that took out from my mouth. Naging madilim ang aking mga paningin at hindi ko na alam ang naging kasunod na pangyayari.
*****
"WHAT happened to him?"
"I don't know exactly, miss, but I just saw him star—namumutla at nanghihina mula sa kabilang table. So, I think na baka may kaiiba sa kaniya. Something's not okay about him."
"Do you know him?"
"Not that we're close, but I know him. Magkaklase po kami."
"Okay, that's all. Thank you for bringing him here. You can go to your class now."
"Thank you so much, miss." He was about to go when he remembers something. "And please don't tell him about me po."
"Sure, dear."
When I woke up, everything was vague and the only thing I remembered is something happened to me back at the library. Kaya hindi na ako nagtaka pa at nandito ako ngayon sa loob ng school clinic. And pinagtataka ko lang ay kung sino ang nagdala sa akin dito, gayunman ay wala namang tao sa puwesto ko—Ay, gagi! Naalala ko na. I was with Jaxon but, I haven't had the chance to talk to him since we're both busy studying for our quiz.
Is it possible that he was the one who brought me here? I should ask the nurse. That's right.
"Gising ka na pala. Here, I brought some foods for you from the cafeteria. Kainin mo 'to lahat para bumalik ang lakas mo," sabi ng nurse. At umupo sa kama, sa tabi ko. She's pretty and kind.
"Thank you so much po. May I ask you po?"
"What is it?"
"Um . . ." I don't how to say it. Of course, if something happened to anyone here in school, anyone can call for help. And she could ask for some help from students around the accident area, to carry the patient. But maybe, in my case, someone grabbed my body and put into his arms, and brought me here.
"Damon, I think you should start eating now. Natutulala ka na naman at nanginginig. Kapag tapos ka nang kumain, tawagin mo lang ako, huh? Then you can ask me anything you want to know. Okay?" she smiled.
Tumango na lang ako. She's right. Maybe I'm just hallucinating, imagining, or I'm not thinking straight. Baka mababaliw na ako nito. Marahan akong natawa nang sumanib sa isipan ko ang salitang "Kaka-Wattpad mo 'yan!"
Tumayo bigla ang nurse, at parang takot na umalis palayo sa akin. Ano'ng problema niya sa akin? Bigla na lang siya natakot, ah? Ipinagwalang-bahala ko na lang siya at kinain ang ibinigay niyang pagkain na burger at saka fries.