Four days later a man named Kim Dae-Seong, who also gave me a warm welcome in my first day, came to me asking for help, to fix a bug in his computer. I thought they were trying to get close to me again because the boss praised me.
I agreed to help him and left my work midway and went with him. When I fixed his bug he thanked me politely and I returned to my desk and continued doing whatever I was doing.
And out of the blue the boy next to me panicked and shouted "What the...Where did all my files go, why is my baby (his PC) behaving strangely? Is this a bug or what?" Everyone in the office came running towards us after hearing his voice. And the boss inquired about the matter.
That guy said " Sir, I don't know what it is. But my PC is not working. What should I do?" He was panicking. So, I thought I should help him. I said " It could be a bug or maybe you have clicked something that is causing you trouble, let me help you, I think I can fix it." And that was the biggest mistake of my life.
He started blaming me, he pointed his finger towards me and said,"How can you fix my pc. You are just a rookie, aren't you ? Don't tell me it was you who installed that virus on my computer. Wait....a while back you sent me an email. Its name was '12348', and after opening that email my pc started behaving strangely. It means you were trying to destroy all my files, my hard work just by sending me that email ".
I thought it might be a misunderstanding, because the email I sent him was about a cosmetic product because whatever work I used to do. I used to send him to do the final check before sending it directly to the company as it was the boss's order. I repeatedly said "no, I didn't do anything wrong" and refused to accept those false accusations.
But no one listened to me, the guy whose bug I fixed a second ago also accused me saying that "Oh, that's why you were able to fix my PC too. Because it was you who did it". " Well, I thought he was crazy. Because the bug that I fixed in his computer was caused by writing wrong coding, and he also made a lot of mistakes in writing the codes. But he blamed me. (Great)
I was stunned to hear their words. Their eyes looked as if the glare of some evil. And finally the boss said "Iseul-shi, if you did this to get attention please stop doing it. And apologize to your colleagues".
At that moment I got so angry that I decided to leave that place for my own good. I replied "Sorry sir I didn't do anything wrong. These people don't like me at all and it's not my fault. I will give my resignation to you tomorrow. So, you also have to give me my full salary for this month because I have completed all my tasks perfectly ".
The boss was stunned to hear me. It seemed as if he did not want me to leave his company but at that time I was left with no other option. While I was packing my belongings, I saw those two guys talking. It seemed as if they had joined hands to kick me out of that company. Simply because they were jealous of me. That's when I understood why no one wanted to work there. I held back my tears, my anger and left that place quietly.
I walked to my home with naked foot. I hurt myself but didn't shed a tear. And as I reached my place one of my neighbors caught me in that condition. She said " Iseul, are you okay? I don't think so. Don't tell me you again lost your job. I can't even imagine how you must be feeling. But you should agree that it was all your fault because you neglected all your crucial years flip-flopping from doing one work to another"
I knew she was just making fun of my condition. I didn't have any energy left to fight with her. So, I ignored her and went inside, locked my room's door and with a little pause I burst into tears. I cried all night remembering all those harsh things happened to me since I was 14 years old. It was when my father left us.
You know before he left us I loved writing fun stories about me and my family, after reading which he was the only one who appreciated me the most. But the moment he left, I also stopped writing stories. I remembered how I was bullied, ignored and humiliated in school because of my weird nature. I didn't have any fixed dream. The only thing I wanted to do was to become famous and leave this country forever. I just wanted to run away from my past.
In the school I went to, I had no friends there and teachers also called me crazy for not sticking to one goal.
After my parents divorced, I joined a basketball team, because I thought it might keep me busy and keep me from writing weird things. But the team that took me regretted the most because I was really bad at scoring goals or passing balls. And I had to leave that team.
A few months later I took an interest in singing and decided to sing at the school's cultural festival. But as soon as I started singing in the festival, the audience ran away steadily covering their ears. This was one of the most shameful incidents of my life so I never sang again.
Later on I joined a game arcade with some of my online gaming friends.We entered the tournament but unfortunately I killed my own teammates because of what they kicked me out of the team.
When I turned 18 I started getting interested on animating stuffs, making GIFs, I also made stop motion animation. I also tried to earn some money being a freelancer, I accepted commission works and earned some decent amount. But in the midst of all this, I never paid much attention to studies, although I never failed in a single exam. I was just an average student.
And this gave hyper tension to my mother. She was always upset because of my stupid behavior. She worried about my future, and probably thought I'd be worthless without her. And later on my 26th birthday I lost her forever. The doctor said that she was suffering from a brain tumor and it was due to hypertension. I realized that it was all my fault that she lost her life. And I cursed myself for years.
That night when I lost my job, even though it was not my fault, I still had to resign. That night...I cried and asked God, " Why did you make me like this? Why can't I decide for myself? Why? Do you really hate me that much?"
After cursing God for hours. I wanted to take all my pain and anger out somewhere. I took my laptop and started writing, whatever came to my mind at that time. I wrote all night and passed out as the dawn arrived.