"If I were to beg, where would I go if you granted me mercy?" I ask Snow.
My abductor, exiled warrior and hunter of female hearts, is stirring that broth while his ears flicker - his nostrils flaring to smell it... and he ponders the question I've asked.
"...who said you were going anywhere - ?" Snow starts to speak under his breath just as I'm continuing my inquiries, sucking in a breath to continue my panicked words.
" -back to a home I do not deserve? Did you kill that family? They didn't deserve to die -!"
Snow slams his wooden spoon into the flaming pot and he turns to look at me.
All humour, if any remained; gone.
"Yes, Ellie, I murdered them," Snow starts, "Why do you defend your abusers?"
I shut my mouth... but I have to respond, "...because no one deserves to be killed, like - like that, out of blood - b-blood lust," I whisper my fearful answer, trying to rationalise my thoughts.
Snow's cheeks flame red with furious blood, "Everyone dies and some deserve it, grow up!" Snow snarls it so loudly, the stirring naked wolf-men finally groan awake. Except their 'groans' are just annoyed huffs of air.
I look around from my fur cocoon and I see the six handsome warriors rise up, glaring at Snow but then quickly turning to stare at me with a stunned curiosity.
The one who ended up napping on my chest, hovers up and glances at me, before turning to Snow.
But - silence is all I really receive from the scarred pack.
"Wolves, meet our newest sacrifice," Snow drawls through gritted teeth, "She'll be dead soon. So will the arguing and this talk... I told you to beg, Ellie."
"I will not beg!" I make my decision and I make it firm.
"Then get ready to die," as Snow cuts his hand through the air, the light of dawn increases from the window and it flows over his perfect white curls, so innocent on a head of a monster. As Snow approaches, he looks over his pack, "Put on some breeches!" Snow snarls at the silent men who stand up and slowly jump around into pairs of leather pants, all lying within reach.
I can't move, but I glare with my eyes as Snow approaches then scoops up my bundle of furs, including me.
I feel like it's my coffin.
I tremble from adrenaline, not the cold, as Snow turns and storms to the door, grabbing a dagger from the wall and kicking the wood plank aside.
"You're not serious about this," I whisper it, wondering how this wolf-warrior and his pack stay so warm, half naked all the time while living in the Ice Valley.
"I'm dead serious," Snow can't look me in the eye anymore. He lays me down just outside their den, I'm still wrapped on the ground, while the silent pack slowly come out of the den to see the sacrifice.
I could snap and beg for my life - but what good would it do for me?
Snow saved my life when I was a child and if he was going to take it now, for whatever fate he wished to skew - finding a mate or whatever - Snow deserved my life. I was only alive up until this very moment, 10 years later, because of him. All these hopeless thoughts in my mind, turn even darker and weirder, as I appreciate the fact there is nothing I can do.
It's my time. This is my end.
"My cursed blood is poisoned," Snow grabs the dagger's sharp blade above me and slides it across his palm, cutting himself open, "One drop on your tongue and your heart will stop beating," he looks over his shoulders at his pack, "Stand close. She'll be a meaty breakfast after she's dead, won't she?" Snow is trying his best to scare me into breaking.
And he is succeeding because now I'm frozen solid with fear. But... I will. Not. Beg.
My mind retreats deeply, searching for some safety, but my one comfort, the Tale of Snowred - is no longer a comfort.
It is just another nightmare.
I open my eyes and I look around at the 7 wolf warriors surrounding me. They keep to their mortal forms as they wait for the ritual.
I note that six of them seem bored by the occasion. As if they'd done this many times before.
When I turn my head to Snow, he crouches beside me and he murmurs his last words to grace my ears, "Last opportunity to beg me," Snow's ice blue eyes finally wash over mine as he admits, further, "I wanted you to beg for your life. I could sacrifice another female. But I thought you'd at least be different. Smarter. You could have been a slave to us. Alive. Well looked after. As long as you helped us keep up the den... but here you are, about to die because you can't speak up."
Snow seems saddened by something in his past as he tells me this.
He holds his clenched bleeding fist above my lips.
"I won't beg to anybody," it's the last piece of dignity I can keep with me.
As my lips part willingly, Snow forces himself to shrug and squeezes his fist.
I dare say I see his eyes turn glassy, as if they want to water with regret.
But Snow's red life-blood drips out and hits my lips, and then slides into my mouth, onto my tongue.
Snow lowers his trembling fist, he closes his eyes violently and he lets out a huff of finality.
I wait for my heart to stop thumping as I taste the sweetness, lesser like iron.
My heart does thump to a stop, and so does my vision.
I gasp as I'm pulled under - into a vivid dream.
I'm in a green forest. Paradise. It could be life after death, but I'm dressed like a warrior, covered in daggers, a bow and arrows on my back. To the side of me is a dark green pond, reflecting back my black hair and swollen red lips. Red from smeared blood. I look up and a raven on a rock stares at me, speaking through its beak, if you hesitate in ending Snow again, you'll not end up dead, Ellie, you'll be alive but lost. Limbo awaits. Everyone who touches him becomes lost to his warrior's furious heart. You must kill him. Because we all die. But some people. Deserve to die. Ellie -!
I wake up abruptly. I'm within my cocoon of blankets.
The sun is right above me, shining light onto my face. I'm blinded by it.
I still can't move properly but my head snaps up to see if my body has been torn apart for a meal.
No.
I am untouched.
But there is a single white rose on the top of my cocoon; my fur coffin.
I see a beetle walk across it and I wiggle, only pausing to stare wide eyed at the den.
An empty den.
I hear no voices.
Instead, all around me I hear the welcoming sound of forest birds and insects.
That's the other thing. I can see grass. The snow is melting all around me.
But snow never melted in the Ice Valley.
What was happening? Did I sleep a thousand years? But no. It is just my over active imagination. I am somehow alive, at noon the same day.
I wiggle some more and I find leeway in the furs and renewed strength in my limbs.
I free myself from the blankets and I shake out my sillies, palming my ankle length pale nightgown. When I'm hopping around, wondering why the air also feels marginally warmer - I see it.
The dagger by the furs. A white bone handle, a steel blade stained with blood.
I go to reach for it, but it's so shiny on one end that I see my reflection and a black bird staring at me from behind.
I spin to see the raven watching me on a branch at eye level. Its one black eye focuses on my face and then its head tilts to the side slowly.
A few seconds later, it flies down next to me and I take a step back, watching the raven peck it's beak on the dagger.
Eventually it picks up by the handle and flies right up, dropping it above my head.
It's going to plough right through my skull! However, I step back, my hand flies out and with reflexes that make no sense - I'm able to catch the weapon as if I know how to fight innately or something.
The raven flies around my head, whispering in a monster's voice.
Hunter. You are the Hunter. Kill them. Snow. Claus. Leif. Vali. Kip. Wes. Noel. All of them.
The raven soars off and leaves me be, with the names of the other wolves.
Wolf-men. Who tried to kill me.
However, I didn't die from Snow's poisonous blood. I was alive.
The raven scares me, though. I don't want to kill anyone!
However, I hold the dagger tight and I walk off into the forest.
I would find a land mark from a hill top. I would walk my way home. And I would work out the rest from there.
I had no desire to kill.
I walk along a path, yet as I go, enjoying every single footfall on soft growing green and black soil - I occasionally pause to sniff the air.
I can... I can smell them.
And I've been walking in their direction for awhile now.
The pack of 7 are close, I can feel it intuitively.
First confirmation. I hear Snow's laughter echo up to me.
Then I hear running and splashing water.
I hurry to the top of the hill and look over to a small valley.
A wide river is breaking, fresh water is flowing - and the warrior wolf-men are all bathing, naked.
I look at the dagger, I think of the raven and I wonder about Snow.
...if you hesitate...you'll be alive but lost... everyone who touches him becomes lost to his warrior's furious heart...
But why would I need to kill Snow? For love? That didn't make sense!
Whatever, I had to get out of here.
I decide to keep walking when -
Kill him, Ellie.
I turn. The raven is back.
It's next to me again, at eye level once more.
I shake my head at it, no!
Kill him, Ellie, you must before it's too late.
"I won't kill anyone," I state, quietly, "Leave me alone, please!"
Kill him, Ellie -
Something inside me snaps as it persists with such a violent request.
"NO!" I scream at the bird and when I blink, the raven is gone and my voice echoes back at me, NO... NO... through the valley and back again to my ear drums, which cease to register any joyous swimming or laughing wolf-men any longer.
Oh, no.
I look down the hill and my eyes collide with the pack, who are frozen, staring right up at me.
Snow is pulling himself up the river bank, shaking out the water from his hair, his eyes don't linger upon my form, his mind doesn't have to even think.
For whatever reason, Snow is already running for me - and I'm running too!
The other way.
Oh, fuck me.