"Morning Cecilia!"
Mum? I slowly sat up in bed, stretching my two upper limbs. With my eyes half closed, I watched the maids unveil the curtains to reveal the morning sunlight already showering the balcony. I fixed my gaze on the familiar silhouette making its way towards me. It wasn't mama. I was disappointed but I didn't allow it show. My vision finally adjusted to the lighting and I returned a greeting to my father.
"Morning Papa."
I gave him a hug while also attempting to suppress the yawn that was making its way up. However, it seems the body and mind have different plans as a yawn was let out. I watched father giggle before he began rubbing his chin on my cheeks, his stubbles scratching my face. I tried pulling away but he only leaned in closer. Embarrassed, I looked around the room, the maids' attention was solely on us. I coughed, aware of their awkward state as they just stood are stared. I let go of father, making my way out of bed. In unison, the maids were now making their way towards me; until they heard a knock. As though they were all programmed to act identical, they turned their heads to the noise's source. The doors swung open and standing in the hallway was the secretary.
"Sorry to interrupt your Majesty. The matter we were discussing last week finally came in. It's now in your office."
He bowed his head towards me and was now waiting for father's response.
"We better hurry off then! I'll see you later Cecilia."
When father walked away, the corners of his mouth rose into a smile. What could possibly make him so happy? I sighed and sat at my vanity table. Washing my face, I glanced into the mirror and watched as nanny brushed my hair.
"Happy birthday princess. It feels like yesterday when you were born but today, you are now 8 years old. You've always been a mature child but I would like it if you could be more selfish and reliant on us all."
She softly ran the comb through my hair, treating each strand like they it was a sacred thread instead. Her gaze resembled that of a mother's. It reminded me of her.
"I miss mama. Life is not the same..."
I unconsciously blurted it out, gazing down at the water in the portable sink. Her movements halted for a moment before they continued to now style my hair.
"Nanny misses her too. But no matter what, we both know she will not be coming back. Your Majesty is also trying his best to make sure you are not lonely without the Queen around."
I knew nanny missed her as well. Mother and her were best friends since birth, both who entered a foreign land together. I've also noticed father has begun imitating mother's behavior. She used to barge into my room and wake me up by rubbing her cheeks on my face. Now, without her here, it's gotten lonely. The castle and social events are suffocating without her. Father isn't always here with me either and the Empress openly shows her hostility. I can only feel safe with nanny around but it makes me miss the days where us three had fun together.
It's been two years since the queen passed; it's been five years since I've became Cecilia.
Before Cecilia Onasis, I was Nora Yang, a 16 year old child who was adopted into their relative's high-class family at the age of 14. In my original household, I was a complete disgrace. No matter what I did, my parents were never happy and negligent. By the time I had turned six years old, we fell into debt. More nights then necessary, I wasn't able to sleep because my parents arguments could be heard. On some nights, items were smashed or thrown. On other nights my mother left the house and wouldn't return until father begged her over the phone. Every time mother left, my father's sighs sounded so exhausted and conflicted. The constant sound of glass bottles being slammed on the table accompanied his heavy mood. Every morning, he woke up lying on the couch.
On days when mother didn't return home, I was alone. She was the only company I had; father was always working. One day after school, I finally got the courage to ask my dying question.
"Mummy, why do you and dad always argue?"
With my question ruining the silence, she lifted her gaze up, no longer staring at those designer clothing on her phone. Her eyes drained of life looked like they were staring through me. She smiled, her heavy eyebags becoming the focus of attention.
"Because your father. Is. Being. Selfish~! And he won't even let me spend a dollar."
At the time, being six years old, I had believed her word for word. I started disliking father for making mum want to run away in the middle of the night. It was only until I grew older that I realized that wasn't the case. I was told that Father loved mother so much. She was his world. He did everything he could to earn income so she could spend it on the items she desired. Her assets were the only valuable thing in our household.
"Don't worry mummy! I'll become successful and help you buy everything you need!"
Little did I know, those careless words six-years-old-me had uttered were the keys to my dystopia. From then on, I began to show mother my report card. My good grades brought a smile to her face. However, if I had brought any results lower than 95%, mother would lock me in my room for at least two days. There would be no food left at my door. Fortunately, my room had its own bathroom. I was forced to study and review content until I had it memorized. Textbooks, stationary, and flashcards were the only entertainment I had. It was worth studying. My results were the only thing mother appreciated about me.
A month after my twelfth birthday, father left for his hometown. Mother wouldn't allow him to take me. However, I didn't want to go with him either because I had believed that once he was gone, mother and I could be happy. It was surprisingly hard to watch him leave. He wore a pained expression on his face.
"Sorry I couldn't give you the luxury I had promised you and Nora... sorry I was a trash father. I hope you can find happiness without me around."
After father left, we weren't happy. Mother's remarks became increasingly more severe, haunting me in my dreams. My grades now meant everything to me, it was the reason why I was alive - it was my purpose. Chasing good results, I slowly lost all my friends. My personality was dying with the old me.
When distant relatives of father's came to ask mother if they could adopted me, she gave me away without hesitation.
"7000 dollars and she's yours. Not that she's worth that much. It's just that raising her up was mentally and financially draining."
I couldn't believe her. Why? WHY? Why did I have to experience all that just to be abandoned by my own flesh and blood. Feel insecure about my own value, I felt the need to repay my now foster parents back by being successful. It was the solution to all my worries and the only thing I knew how to do. I had taken extra curriculums during school and practiced all kinds of activities deemed for 'high-class ladies.' I thought they would be proud, why weren't they though? Am I not good enough? Do they regret adopting me?
"W-why aren't you happy? I'll study harder to make you happy! Yes! I'll skip my meals and solely focus on studying, just please don't leave me."
"Nora.. how can we be happy?"
My foster mother held me tight. Her hands were trembling. No... was I the one trembling instead? I couldn't tell.
"You've spent so much time trying to please us. It hurts to see you cooped up in your studies and not doing anything else. We don't want you to relive your past. We aren't like them. We wanted to give you a second chance at life. So that you can be like other teenagers your age, having fun and being rebels. We wanted you to find love, to be loved, to have fun, and to rely on us. Nora, we love you so much that it's hard for us to be happy when you aren't happy. Even if we aren't with you in the near future, promise us you'll find your own happiness?"
I nodded despite not understanding what they meant. Happiness? I didn't need that. I just wanted them not to have regretted adopting me. I stared at my foster parents, perplexed. Tears broke out from both parties. I held them tight, sniffling uncontrollably.
Early next morning, hours before dawn was to come, the sound of shattered glass woke me up. Memories of my childhood flooded in. My hands trembled and I unconsciously covered my mouth. Slowly, I crept out of bed and opened the door. As if on que, the sound of six bullets filled the silent hallway.
"AHHH!! HONEY!"
My foster father's voice rang out. I broke out into a run. Making my way through the seemingly long corridor. Reaching my foster parent's bedroom door, I swung it open.
"Dad! What happen-"
My voice gradually died out. Laying in front of me were shattered glass now stained in blood and two lifeless corpses. A man in black uniform stood in the middle of it all, his focus locked on me. Accompanied by moonlight, the scenery seemed to have came straight out of a crime novel. His horrendous laugh echoed. Slowly, the man raised his arm, pistol in hand.
"Bang."
Unable to take in the force, I stepped back to lean against the wall. Inspecting the severity of the wound, I looked down to see my pajamas stained in red. Two more bullets proceeded to land. There was nothing I thought to do. Should I just accept fate? Unexpectedly, in my final moments as Nora Yang, I only thought about finding happiness.
***
"Lia? Princess Cecilia?"
I jolted back into reality, noticing I was now changed into a royal purple ball gown.
"I've been calling your name for the last five minutes. Are you alright? You have a busy day ahead but if you are sick or not feeling well, His Majesty will not mind if you sit out."
I shook my head, looking straight ahead at the reflection on the mirror. I still couldn't believe it. Since taking over this body, I've been living as Cecilia. Finding happiness through her life. Finding happiness wasn't as hard as I had thought it would be. Waking up in this foreign land as a princess, I had anything I wanted at my fingertips. However, that wasn't how I found happiness. Mama, Papa, Nanny, Hawk, and all the other palace servants gave me happiness. But the older I get, the more that this sensation is taken away. Once again, blocking my way to happiness were my duties. This time, I was tied to my duty as a princess. With Cecilia's mother gone, I could no longer be as happy as I previously was.
"I look pretty.."
Dazed by Cecilia's appearance, my appearance, I ran a hand to my cheek. Immediately in response to my statement, the maids squealed.
"Princess is truly a goddess in disguise!!! She is Onasis' flower and pride!"
Embarrassed by their remarks, I try to hide my smile by clasping both hands over my mouth. I really did look like a sun goddess. This remark would have to be kept to myself though, since nobody would want to associate Onasis' goddess with a hair color only found in a faraway desert.
Cecilia is the embodiment of beauty, I don't want to blabber about my physical traits though since I'll appear narcissistic. But my soft plumped cheeks, thigh-length hair, fair complexion, and purple eyes were all definitely something to talk about! I could be excused for a fairy! Feeling myself about to be carried away again, I looked over to nanny. Her eyes softened as she spoke, recalling someone precious.
"You truly are beautiful Cecilia. You resemble your mother greatly, even more so with your vibrant red hair."
"Thank you nanny."
Hearing compliments are ego-boosting but I enjoy them more when I hear it from nanny.
"Princess, we must leave your quarters now."
As it was my birthday, there were many things I had to do, such as perfecting my dance, seeing through with the gifts, and talking to Hawk! I watched as the maids opened my doors, nanny walking alongside me.
"Happy birthday princess."
Outside my room, my personal knight greeted me with a bow.
"Morning Sir Lawrence. Why didn't you come inside with Papa earlier?"
"Apologize if M'lady had requested my presence. But It is uncomfortable for me to come inside while you are still getting ready Princess. If you need me next time, I will be by your side without a moment to waste."
I giggled. Sir Lawrence always responded in such formal matter while others were around. When it is just with nanny, Hawks and I, Sir Lawrence acts like a different person.
"Princess? Is something the matter?"
He raised his eyebrow.
"No. Nothing of those sorts. Let's be on our way now."
I walked ahead smiling, now joined by Sir Lawrence.