Read chapter 80: Forever, it'll help when reading this chapter ^^
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Placing her left foot a few meters back, she stabled it against the hard ground and raised her arms with her palms facing the intimidating tree which loomed over her petite figure.
Closing her eyes, she remembered all the times she had used her powers. It had either been extreme shock or panic which had led her abilities to show. Otherwise, nothing happened no matter how much she tried.
Eva knew this couldn't go on forever. In desperate situations, she wouldn't have time to gather her emotions the way she wanted them. Like Kai had told her, it only took a second for a trained warrior to chop her head off from her neck.
She couldn't take the risk of not preparing herself for all the possible situations in which her enemies could overcome her. Being a burden was the very thing she despised and she was willing to do anything to crush her weakness.
She remembered asking the witch what it was like to conjure something out of you.
Davina's reply echoed in her head faintly, "Your powers are part of you. I call out to my darkness and it obeys my command unless it wants to suffer the consequences. However, there are people whose abilities control them while some dominate theirs. It's completely up to you on what you decide in the end."
Keeping her words in her mind, Eva blinked open her eyes and breathed out. 'The worse that could possibly happen is that I waste my time doing absolutely nothing...'
Diving inside her mind, she searched around for a source, anything tangible that she could hold onto or pull that would enact her powers.
Her mind resembled a cliff which then proceeded onto a never-ending abyss. She could only look over and around the surroundings but plunging into that darkness was something she hadn't thought out yet.
Shaking her head, she scoured for a string she could snatch to conjure those powers which everyone desperately sought. She needed to find them no matter how hard they were buried inside her or how much pain she would have to suffer to locate them.
She didn't matter.
They did.
'Who's they?'
Her newly found friends whom she didn't want to get too attached to...
Never having taken the time to explore herself, she found herself in a dark hole made of everything she was and hoped she was supposed to be. Eva hadn't expected it to be so dim but it was. Unbearably. Suffocating to the furthest extent.
She wanted to yell out, ask the universe where everything went wrong. Wasn't her life planned out till the end? She had planned to remain a governess and earn to accompany her mother in her old age while Vanessa got married to whomever she loved. Her nieces and nephews would've been her only concern but where had this path led to?
Perplexed and frustrated beyond anything, her eyes caught sight of a small light flickering in the midst of her darkness. She tilted her head, confused at the unfamiliar sight but then again, what did she know about herself? All her life, it was for others, her loved ones.
Who?
Who was she?
Fully corrupted or a mixture of both light and something more?
'She's not a bird, she's a fire-breathing dragon...'
Eva parted her lips, the vivid memory making her eyes lower down.
He isn't here.
Raising her head, her eyes held storms of fury unlike a few seconds ago. Why make herself unhappy for someone who wasn't even here? If sadness was all he made her feel, then was it worth it?
'It isn't all sadness, and you know it...'
Eva ignored it, clenching her fists, her rage climbing up that dark abyss as she gasped out suddenly noticing the change around her.
Fire.
Chaos.
Light.
The familiar darkness had vanished to be replaced by undiminishing light which almost blinded her. Dark patches covered some areas but fire danced around, near yet afar, and she recognized it instantly.
It was her.
With all the imperfections combined.
She was more light than obsidian but it was still present there.
It was in these moments when the flame of revenge burned brighter than ever and she didn't try calming it down. For why tame it, when it only benefited her purpose?
Opening her eyes, her eyes widened but showed with shock when she noticed half the tree missing from its spot. Black ashes stained the ground and it didn't take her too long to figure out what she did.
Feeling encouraged, she tried again and closed her eyes, darkness marring her vision as she searched just like in the beginning.
However, nothing went like she had expected it to go.
'What did?'
There was no light, not even a flicker that brought her the certainty she needed.
Her eyes opened once again after a minute.
Eva ran a hand through her hair, feeling hysterical, like a visitor inside her own skin. A familiar tingling sensation started in her fingers and she steeled herself for what was to come.
Thoughts. Panic. Pain. Regret.
Everything was poised to collapse on top of her.
She fell into the same darkness she had grown used to.
Eva sank deeper and deeper, letting herself slip into the solitude of her own heartache. Just for a moment—that was all Eva was willing to allow herself.
Lower.
Closer to the void.
But as she approached rock bottom, she found herself back at the surface.
'Why does nothing make any sense...'
She touched the tree, her lower lip trembling as she took in the destructive sight which was caused by her.
'Is that all I am?'
'A destroyer?'
Her eyelids fell down like curtains to the soul and she felt like she mostly did.
All the time.
Trapped.
Alone.
Scrambling to get away or find something but always ending up in the same place she ran away from.
Shaking her head, she felt a shudder roll through her whole body and her hands unconsciously came in contact with something hard and solid.
Undestroyed.
Alive.
Her breath came out in the form of a faint vapor and she almost stumbled back at what she saw in front of her.
There stood the same tree she had broken a while ago.
The leaves fluttered with the harsh wind snatching away their solitude and peace. Strands of hair came to settle on the sides of her face but she didn't have the energy to tuck them in.
Eva felt physically and emotionally drained.
Her trembling fingers brushed past the tree's rough bark and she collapsed to her knees, the word 'why' repeating in her mind over and over again.
Louder and louder.
Eva let go.
And fell...