Reese's POV
This week has been one of the most stressful weeks I've gone through. Especially with that philosophy question we had due this morning. I'm lying down on my bed. I'm facing up at my ceiling. I lie there, wondering as to what my friends are doing on a Friday night. I know Sloane and Belle are probably out having fun and so is Cam.
I didn't want to feel like a third wheel, so I lied that I wasn't feeling well. Margot was not home either and my dad was still away. My ears are blazing with pop music by Ariana and my thoughts wander to my mother. I feel a weight press against my chest when I start wondering why she decided to leave. It hurts me so much when I see photos of how happy she was when it was just her, Margot, and dad.
I sometimes think that I was the problem. I have never been in a picture with her, not even after I was born or during her pregnancy. Nothing. I have a few photos with my dad, but they become less and less the older I became. I didn't even know I was crying up until is sat upright on my bed and I went into the study to look for a picture of my mom.
I didn't find any and it was probably for the best. I think to myself. I throw myself onto the couch and curl up in pain. I let myself smile and tried to find something funny out of this situation, but I could not. My mom left me. When I was a kid. A child for that matter. I couldn't stop myself from hurting.
"Reece! I'm home!" Margot yells at the top her lungs and I hear the front door slam behind her, followed by what sounds like grocery bags. "Reece? I'm thinking maybe we could make some pizza together. You know spend time together…" I hear say once more. Her voice was fading when my thoughts about my mother began to taunt me.
Any normal person would pick themselves up, wash their face, and go down with a smile. Pretend everything was okay. But nothing was okay. I didn't even feel like myself. I listened to her boots thud on our wooden stairs.
"Reece are you not ho- OH MY GOODNESS!" I hear her gasp and I felt her body crash against mine. Margot pulls my body upright and envelopes me in her arms.
She rests my head on her chest and all the tears come running down my face. Like shattered glass, my tears fell everywhere. I was so overwhelmed by everything that happened. 17 years is a long time, but it feels like it was yesterday.
"Reece…" She pats my hair down softly, her voice so soft, calming me down. "Tell me what's wrong?" She asks and I gasp for air, my chest rising and falling.
"I just miss her Margot. I miss mom so much." I whisper between tears, feeling my body rush with calming waves all over me. I gasp for more air,
"I know Reece, I miss her too." Margot responds, her voice still soft and her hand still patting my hair, letting it leave small gentle strokes on my head. Whenever I get like this, the only person I run to is my sister. She can be hard on me, but I know she loves me and that she'll always be there for me. "Should I just order Pizza and we can watch a movie till 1 am." She offers but I shook my head instead.
I pull myself away from her and tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. I give her small and say in a nasal tone, "Let's go down and make some pizza."
"With pineapples?" She suggests and cringe.
"That is disgusting Margot." I roll my eyes at her, stood up and walked to the kitchen. "Are you coming or not?"
…
Maybe a movie would have been a great idea. I notice Margot looking more distant than I was. She was kneading the dough and I was making the pizza sauce on the stove. Carefully, following the tutorial on YouTube. I wanted to go get my phone so we could at least listen to music b-
"I know you blame yourself for mom leaving…" Margot says, her words slicing into my chest.
"She made her decision, she left. But that's not on you. It's on her." She says but all I do was choose to ignore her. "You know that right?" I sigh, nod my head, and take the sauce off the stove.
"But I can't help it, Margot." I whisper, leaning on the counter. I watch her cover the dough and put it aside to rise.
"Well, you need to stop." She says in a firm tone.
"How?"
"I don't know, stop thinking." She airs her defence and I scoff.
"I'm not the one that got 5 good years with mom! So don't tell me, how I should and should not think!" I scream at her. A thin layer of glass forms over my eyes and I cross my arms. "Dad isn't even here. He hates me-
"No. he doesn't-
"Then why isn't he here?!" I ask her, taking small taunting careful steps towards her I felt angry, lost, confused. "Admit it! You wish I wasn't here! Maybe mom would still be around you could have been a normal family without me!"
"Do not say that Reece!" She yells back.
"Then why is dad not doing a fucking thing about me wanting to go to Cambridge? When he fucking went on his knees and begged you not to even leave the state because he'd quote on quote 'miss you too much', huh?" The minute I said those words that she felt the same way I did. He cannot even pin this on wanting Margot to stay and take care of me while he is away, when he could simply just send a nanny to tract every move.
"I'm not even hungry…" I say throwing the tablecloth I had in my hand aside and running upstairs and slamming the door behind me. I locked the door and I heard Margot banging and begging me to open the door. I covered my head with a pillow and prayed for her to just go away.