"Serves him right."
Ren Jidian was still seething with anger and was out if it, that he did not notice someone was watching him all the way to the door.
It was Gou Zhongcheng, looking calmer than usual. Well, the only reason for her frenzy was Lady Shu, and she was out to meet her parents, so the lady guard was obviously a lot less excited now.
She was also smoking an opium pipe, and had a distant expression on her face.
Whether it was from the high or from internal struggles, Ren Jidian couldn't tell. Maybe both.
"You would have to stay on guard, though. Yang men like that don't give up easily." She said acting much more sober and calm when she's on drugs. "They believe the world revolves around them, and so, they must get what they want."
"I know that very well, thank you very much." Ren Jidian said with a roll of his eyes, still not getting over his annoyance. "Don't smoke near the Empress, keep it outside."
He was about to open the door, when Gou Zhongcheng spoke again after blowing some smoke.
"His cycle will be starting soon. That's why the Emperor called you. He wanted to impregnate him on the earliest cycle as he can."
Ren Jidian faltered. Does she mean.....
Estrus?
"I pity the Yin. During these cycles, these times of pain, that was when they were most sought for by the wolves and tigers." She sighed. "They release a scent like flowers in bloom, baiting the monsters out of their caves."
"Meanwhile, we Zhong women.... For our cycle, we just bleed and bleed and bleed. Feeling like being cut apart at the stomach. But at least, we can endure the pain alone without worrying about being hunted, as the very blood we spill pushes away any predator in distaste."
That was the way of the ABO system. The Omegas have estrus or also known as 'heat cycle', which would also be found in most mammals except some primates, and it is considered 'full menstruation'.
They do not bleed, and only releases pheromones to attract alpha indicating that their body is ready for mating and ovulation was complete.
Only Beta women like Gou Zhongcheng have menstruation.
There were many other key differences between the AO and the Betas, and Betas were always seen as the 'broken' or 'flawed' gender. They do not have functions like these, and they were the rarest, only making up 20% of the population.
But the very differences they were discriminated for may also be seen as a sort of freedom.
Ren Jidian turned to her. "Do you... often wish you were of a different gender?"
She smiled with lazy eyes. "Every day, I pray that one day, I would be a Yang or a Zhong man."
He nodded, feeling for the first time that someone understood him. Understood his pain.
"So you would have a chance with Lady Shu, right?" He asked.
She went silent for a while, placing the pipe in her mouth again and then exhaling:
"That's not just it. We Zhong women and Yin people have a lot in common, I'm telling you. Just because we do not have the same cycle as you, does not mean the difference is large."
"After all, we all bear fruit. And only seen as that, walking pots of fertile soil for seeds to grow inside."
He grimaced at this. The idea of pregnancy had always disturbed him day and night, making him want to cut apart his stomach and take away this organ that can be filled with a living human someday.
Fearing that someone would force him to carry this living human for 3 months. And it's much worse for Beta women who needs to carry it for 9 months.
"I understand." Ren Jidian sighed. "Everything would really be easier if only all of us were born as what we want to be, isn't it? But then again, that wouldn't be life, that would be paradise."
"And I was starting to believe there's no such thing as paradise on Earth."
Gou Zhongcheng looked at him for a while, then handed out her pipe.
"No, thank you." He declined. "It may make you forget your problems for now, only to increase the pain by tenfold later."
"I know. But I'd rather have any release than nothing at all." She answered.
There was a pause before she said: " I used to think paradise would be a world where I can be with Zhanxing. But since she would never love me, I'd settle for a paradise where I am just alone as a Yang or at least a Zhong man."
"How... did she reject you? What was it like?" He asked, feeling sympathy for this eccentric lady guard.
Because at least, he experienced being accepted. He experienced the warmth of Wei Sizhi's lips before they were sent here, in a world where they had to meet as strangers again.
He now fear that... As Wei Wangyi, he would also receive rejection like this Zhong beside him.
"She said that there were things that are fated and things that are not. The more you struggle against fate, the natural flow of the river, the more you just suffer." She chuckled bitterly.
"I said that I will still walk against that river current. No matter what it takes." Gou Zhongcheng made a sad smile. "She said that I would soon be tired or dragged by the current, and even die because of it. She doesn't want to suffer that fate."
"She must be afraid. Just like all of us." Ren Jidian patted her back. "But she never said she doesn't feel anything for you---"
"She would not allow herself to. It was evident." Gou Zhongcheng said. "I have no hopes."
She then made a meaningful smile. "But you and the Empress have it."
"W-What do you mean?" He said, suddenly on guard.
Sh laughed heartily. "I am just outside the door, Scholar Ren! I may be a dimwit but I am not deaf."
"You two have a chance. It will be a difficult road ahead, but at least, you have each other and won't let go. You can fight that river current and push forward."
She knows. Ren Jidian then grabbed her shoulder.
"Then help us. Please. Help us get past that current. You can come with us too, and maybe you'll find someone who will accept you---"
"Ah, that's another difference between you and I. I told you, I have no hopes. If not Zhanxing, I would not hope. I can keep my mouth shut and help you with some details, but I cannot leave this Palace."
"But why not!?" Ren Jidian could not understand it. "You just plan on smoking and moping here forever!?"
"That's the plan. And once you two escape, I also plan to protect you two as much as I can, even using my body as a shield if I get caught." She smiled and patted his head.
"But you'll die if you get caught---"
That's when he realized what she meant.
She wants to get caught. She wants to do this one last good deed.....
Before leaving this mortal world that only brought her pain.
Ren Jidian could see it, the expression both she and Wei Wangyi wore. That expression that just waited for nothing but the end to come and take them.
He luckily managed to take that expression away from the Empress, but he doesn't know how he could take that away from this guard.
It felt so suffocating, all this anguish brought by something we call 'gender'.
He looked away while forcing himself not to cry, and said with a slight choke. "Thank you. May you receive paradise someday."
She chuckled. "Don't thank me yet. Don't look at me like I'm a walking corpse either. Just keep your mind away from this conversation and see things as what they once were."
He inhaled deeply, and forced himself to nod. Unable to bear it any longer, he went inside, leaving the pitiful person to be alone with her wisps of smoke.
Empress Wei was also frowning when he entered. He knew that he was listening.
He forced a smile, trying to start pretending like Gou Zhongcheng said. "Empress---"
He wasn't able to continue for long as the Empress immediately tackled him to a hug!
"Sob... sob..... that Zhongcheng..... hah, I should have known....."
Rend Jidian blinked. The Empress was hugging him as if to comfort him, but at the same time, crystal clear tears feel from his eyes.
So who's comforting who?
It didn't matter. They both needed it, needed each other, just like what the guard outside said.
Gou Zhongcheng wasn't even a friend to either of them. To Ren Jidian, she was just a stranger, and to the Empress, she was a prison warden.
But after that day, they realized that she was much more than that.
She was a comrade. A fellow sufferer.
Empress Wei continued to heave on his arms, and Ren Jidian let himself cry this time.
They both wept on the floor, cursing and hating fate for the sake of people like them... and people like Gou Zhongcheng.