"Wei.... Sizhi?"
Ren Jidian woke up in a bleak and dreary room filled with odd herbal scents and incense.
[Welcome to the world of 'The Emperor's Male Wife'! ]
A thunderous voice boomed on Ren Jidian's ear, causing him to cover it.
He shot up from the mattress on the floor. "What the hell!?"
He looked up and....
It was a goat.
A chibi goat, if you will. With a pentagram on its forehead, and small, almost cute bat wings.
Its small legs and hooves could not possibly carry its cartoonishly large head, but it still manages to stand tall. The goat had a long flowing beard reaching the floor.
[Greetings, my creation. It is I, the Lord Baphie, who had come to use you at my disposal at last.]
"So the cute goat is the one talking in that deep, booming voice? Cool." Ren Jidian said.
Smoke flared on the goat's nose. [I'm not a 'cute goat'! I am the ALMIGHTY FATHER OF THESE WORLDS, THE GREAT LORD BAPHIE! Never call me cute and remember my name, you imbecile!]
"Fine, fine."
Ren Jidian secretly wondered what the goats fur would feel like, but behaved himself. "Well then, if you don't mind me asking, oh great lord Baphie.... what the hell is going on?"
[Do you not remember what happened to you and your lover last night?]
"My lover?" Ren Jidian racked his brain.
"Yesterday, Wei Sizhi told me that the Cao Asshole took his virginity forcefully during his heat cycle. I got mad and it resulted to him confessing and then we kissed and...."
"He really was now my lover!" Ren Jidian couldn't help his lips from quirking up. "I can't fucking believe it! I'm Wei Sizhi's lover!"
[Yes, but stop being a giddy simp for a moment and think. What happened next?]
"I said we should run away from City A and .... I got nothing." Ren Jidian shrugged. "What happened again? All I remember was the fun times we spent together. Man, it was the happiest day of my life—"
[You got hit by a truck.]
"What!????"
[Yep, you got hit by good old Truck-kun. You know transmigration, don't you?]
Lord Baphie's way of speaking became more casual and laidback since he was disappointed of Ren Jidian's reaction.
[That's what's happening now. You and Wei Sizhi got reincarnated into one of the stories I created, and will continue to do so until I finally get famous on Webnovel.]
Ren Jidian processed what he was hearing for a while. "Uh..... How can I be sure this isn't some drug-induced trip that we got from smoking weed?"
[Do you remember you and Wei Sizhi smoking weed last night?]
"No?"
[Then stop with the dumb questions! You're supposed to be a smart and cunning character!]
Lord Baphie kicked him in the head with his fluffy hooves.
Ren Jidian just laughed since the hooves were too soft and squishy to hurt.
"Bro, who told you that? I'm not smart at all, I got a B+ at most in P.E."
[Wait..... you're not the super-smart alpha Ren Jidian that was born from a well-off family and tired of his life that's why he seeks the thrill of a poor but badass omega named Wei Sizhi who was already betrothed to another alpha but kept a scandalous affair with him anyway and eventually ran off together?]
"Uh..... no."
The goat blinked its weird eyes with rectangular pupils multiple times, and then said:
[SHIIIIIIIITTTTT!!!!! I transmigrated the wrong Ren Jidian!]
"The wrong what..... ok, I'm seriously trying to understand but I just can't." Ren Jidian said. "Just go straight to the point. No use in crying over spilled milk now."
[Damn it, you were just a back-up version, you know?] Lord Baphie paced back and forth.
[ I was interested in the concept of omega x omega but clever sexy alphas are all the hype, so that was supposed to be what I would pair off with Wei Sizhi. Now I'm not sure if the readers would be interested with a dudebro twink skaterboy like you.]
Ren Jidian really doesn't vibe with this pretentious goat that just spit out nonsense without explaining anything. He figured he should just observe his surroundings on his own.
He stood up to look at himself in a small, foggy mirror.....
"Whoah, holy bananas....." Ren Jidian looked at himself wearing long flowy white robes, his once short, spiky hair now long and tied up in a bun.
"You were not kidding when you said transmigration. I'm guessing I'm a Han dynasty scholar or something? Or apprentice? Seems like I must be poor..... there's a lot of herbs so do I work with medicines and stuff..."
Lord Baphie's eyes brightened at this quick deductions and bleated happily.
[Oh! There must be hope in you after all! Yes, yes, you're the medicine scholar working under your adoptive father Qing Daitong!]
"Really? I'm just blindly guessing. I make assumptions a lot on all the different possibilities, no matter how unlikely the are." Ren Jidian humble-bragged. "That's the perks of being a pessimist for you."
[Different possibilities, you say? Hmm, that does beat being able to accurately deduce what's going to happen. It doesn't make you an overpowered MC, but still powerful.]
Lord Baphie nodded repeatedly and clapped his hooves together. [Alright! You shall now be my quick transmigration MC after all!]
"Ok, now that's settled whatever it was..... Can you please explain why I was transmigrated? And where Wei Sizhi is?" Ren Jidian grinned at the thought of his crush. "I'm wondering what he looks like in Han costume."
[Wei Shizhi is currently the male empress of this world. He's in the body of Wei Wangyi, who is married to Great Zau's 5th emperor, Zau Ting—]
"What???? You married him off to some guy!?" Ren Jidian clutched the goat's neck. "Tell me where he is right now so I can assassinate the emperor!"
[Whoah, calm down, bud! We'll get to that later.] Lord Baphie bleated and used his soft blunt horns to push Ren Jidian back.
[Let me explain the world first, will ya?]
"I don't care about anything else. I just want you to bring me Wei Sizhi, old goat."
Ren Jidian's expression turned cold, and he gave an eerie smile. "Or would you like me to skin you and give your fur as a gift to my now lovely Co-Emperor Wei Sizhi?"
[Eep! Leave your Almighty Father alone, you simp! And correction: Wei Wangyi is not a Co-Emperor, but an Empress. In this world, male omegas are similarly treated as women and given female titles.]
"That's not very progressive at all."
"It's the ancient times, why would you expect it to be progressive?" The goat bleated. "Anyway, your lover is the male empress now. And he doesn't remember you by the way."
[WHYYYYYY?????]
"For dog blood! Dog blood drama everywhere!" Lord Baphie said proudly.
"How does my transmigration system work then? What do I have to do to get together with Wei Sizhi in the end?"
[Come closer, I'll whisper it to you.]
Ren Jidian went closer, pinching his nose so he won't smell the goat's livestock scent.
[.....Nothing.]
"Huhhhh????"
[Even if you end up with a happy ending with Wei Sizhi here, you'll be reborn again with him not remembering you in another one of my stories.]
"What the hell did we ever do to you anyway, you devil goat!?" Ren Jidian strangled him for real.
[Because I don't like seeing happy lovers, I want you to suffer! It's no fair for us who are single for life! ]
The evil goat cackled with laughter. [There are no missions, no points, no meters! You're on your own as a punishment for being rude to me! Bye-Bye!]
Then with a cartoonish 'Poof!', the goat disappeared and Ren Jidian was strangling the empty air.
"Grrrrrah!" Ren Jidian pulled on his hair frustratingly.
"Ok. So an annoying goat transmigrated me to a world where even if I did end up with Zhi-Zhi, we'll move on and he'll forget me again and again. Just great."
[Just commit not-alive if you can't handle it and leave Wei Sizhi to the wild alphas.]
Ren Jidian turned around like a fly had just buzzed on his ear. "You're still here!?"
[I'll always be here, as long as you want to apologize for strangling your father and ask very nicely for me to explain the world to you.]
Ren Jidian scoffed. "No, I can handle this on my own. Why would I listen to a bastard who's isn't rooting for me in the first place and wants me to give up? You must have ulterior motives."
A knock suddenly came to the door.
"Why are you so loud in the morning, A-Guang?" An old man's voice came through.
"Uh.... I saw a cat trying to steal the herbs and chased it off." Ren Jidian made up and open the door.
"Oh. That would be a shame if it did ran off with the herbs because that's the only batch we have." The old man said as he came in.
"Thank goodness I have a reliable son or this useless father would not be able to chase after such quick pest. Cats. They only know how to steal things and repopulate day and night."
Ren Jidian was shocked to see what the 'old man' looked like.
He was right, it really was an old man, though not as old as he thought.
He might be just 40-50 years old, but his voice was scratchy and more damaged than usual. He had a kind gentle face and look like he would be as strong as a general could be from the waist up.....
But he had no legs, and was merely balancing himself with both hands, swinging back and forth to 'walk'.