I was pacing back and forth by the entrance of the pack house as pack members were watching over me worriedly. I wanted to hurt myself so badly for hurting my mate. I should have been there. I should have never left her alone. I should have been there to relax her and tell her everything is alright. I should have put my emotions aside and just help her when she needs me. I will never leave her alone but I just can't help think that I hurt her. I hurt my mate. I growled in anger. I hear my pack members yelp a bit and I looked forward. I am scaring my own members. Great. I am such an idiot. I got smacked at the back of the head by Sarah. Scarlet is nowhere to be seen. I think still asleep. Sarah made sure to let everyone think that my mate had left with Ashton to get some of her belongings. Nobody knows my mate had tried running away.
If everyone found out that my mate tried running away they would all start to panic. Plus her human friend would be panicking also. I groaned out as I stopped pacing and looked at the door. Expecting them to open up and show me my beautiful mate. Angry at me at least. But nothing. Her intoxicating strawberry scent nowhere to be seen.
I want to fight something. It's my fault. Everything is my fault. I should have been a better mate. I should have never left her alone. I should have even slept on the floor to show her I am the one to blame. I growled out as I wanted to dug my claws into the palm of my hands. But I felt a sudden shove snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Stop acting so impatient..." Sarah tells me as she uses her eyes to signal the pack
"I can't help it... I finally found my mate and not being by her after the almost kidnapping then the whole other Alpha situation... What do you expect from me... I am a worried man" I did my best to lie
"Alpha she will be alright... We made an oath to protect each other... She may not know about us and has not been with us that long but she is still part of the pack!" I felt the hand of Jasmine and I looked to the side
It almost made me tear up but I just smiled "Thank you... Can you make sure that my mate's friend has awoken and is hungry..."
"Oh don't worry about that... Jey went ahead..." Sarah says with a cheeky smile
I wanted to tell her when did Jey arrived as usually vampires just don't waltz into werewolf territory without Alpha's permission but the scent of my mate hits my senses and I stood straight ignoring everyone's voices as I saw her enter the pack house. Her eyes were a big puffy and red and she wiped her tears. It hurts me a lot but I just couldn't resist and I just ran to her. Sliding on my knees as I wanted to hug this woman so badly. I was so taller than her that I don't want to accidentally send her flying. The moment our bodies collided I felt her tense up but I held her to me. Her stomach to my face. I started nuzzling it.
I hear the whispers from my pack mates but Ashton started kicking everyone out. He must be still mad at me for what I have done. My beautiful mate is traumatized. She must have relived a past memory thanks to me. I am so pissed at myself. I expected her to look at me with anger. Or at least angry tears. But nothing. She is hurt and I didn't want to see her hurt. I want to always see her smile. I should be the best mate. I am going to spoil her rotten. I hope everything is read.
I held her tightly to me and I whispered out as a few tears escaped "I thought a lost you..."
I glanced to the side and noticed Sarah smiling widely and winking at me. I hate that woman. So much. Later I need to have a word with Jey. Nobody told me he was here. Well maybe someone did tell me but I was so attentive of my mate being gone that I must have ignored it. I am such an idiot at times. I held her tightly and the moment the door closed I just stuck my face to her stomach. Not wanting to look at her in the face. I was worried that she will look at me with dismay or disgust. Or even angry at me. Her puffy eyes. Already hurts me I don't want her to hate me. I didn't mean to make her cry. I promised to make her happy. Not cry. Not sadness. I promised to protect her. She got hurt because of hunters.
I am a failure as an Alpha as well as a mate. I felt my own tears cascade ferociously. I felt her hand on my head and I looked up surprised. She had a tearful expression. She wasn't mad. She wasn't disappointed. She was just sad. I stop hugging her as I had urges to hold her beautiful delicate face. She looks at me completely surprised as her tears glide down her cheeks. I tried my best to stand up without hurting her but her eyes looked like saucers as I was now above her while still holding her face towards mine.
She wasn't speaking yet and just feeling her skin in my hands must be doing something because she just glanced at me with her beautiful eyes.
"Are you ok? What is wrong?" I checked around her face looking for if someone had hurt her while she ran of
When her hand landed on my left one just leaving there on top of my hand I stopped "I am ok... I... I thought you were mad at me"
Her innocence will drive me crazy and I denied with head as I say "No I am not mad at you... I was worried about showing you the truth..."
She looks confused and asked "Worried? What is it so bad?"
She covers her mouth in terror but I uncovered her mouth and say "I love your voice... Ask me whatever you want?"
She looks away while asking "You won't get mad at me?"
"I won't" I say gently
"But you were mad..." she says in a low tone
She looks away and I held her face so she looked at me "I could never be mad at you... I was really worried... I wasn't having a good day and I raised my voice and it wasn't even your fault..."
She looks at me with big eyes and the next words hurt me a bit "Am sorry... I-I..."
"Shh... It's ok" I say as I hugged her to me tightly
I separate a little from the hug and she looks up to me again and I knew she needed to know about everything "What now?"
"The truth... A date... Twenty question games..." I suggested with a gentle smile
She looks down afraid and my smile falls as I knew she was still afraid of everything. But this all needs to happen and so I just lead her to the elevator. I need to take her to the library that I have near my bedroom. They may have finished my bedroom and preparing everything. I want to show her my world. I sighed out and just let her calm down gently. I sighed out and just waited for us to reach the top area of this complex. I wanted to do more things and show her more about myself. I want her to now the pack also. Not this way. I am hating myself for this.
I need to calm down and just accept whatever happens. She needs to know about everything and me staying silent and in fear would only make things worse. I already hurt her as is and she even tried running away from me. And me being an idiot just made things worse with not knowing almost anything about her past. I can't keep any of this hidden anymore. She needs to now. I want her to know my world. See things through my eyes.
I want to show her everything. Love. Affection. Honesty. Respect. I don't want all this to be a lie and she thinking I am using her or just playing. It will hurt me a lot I cannot deny. I am already terrified about rejection I don't want to imagine her fear and calling me a monster. I swallowed the growing lump. I love my mate so much and I just want her to now everything. I wanna take her everywhere I can. Spoil her. Pleasure her.
My heart is beating so hard and I just don't know what to do.