As I said when thubetan made love to me it was making skin tingle and not in a good way. I told my self that I would get use to it, but I never did. Even touching his shoulder made me cringe. But I liked his smile and his kiss me now lips…..though he was abusive and cruel I was attracted to him in someway, Was he my beloved jack no but I had to deal with his cruel lies.
One example was that jack died slowly and painful. The that really made me ache was that he found a Sherpa girl and started a family. I could
He his way of making want to say you loved him...at first I thought he did until he made up horrible lies about jacks fate. There worst one when I starting to be in love he said that jack was in prision for murdering his new wife. I couldn't see him in a moaist prison being killed slowly. help to cry and want to die. Or at least drown my sorrows untitled died of alcohol poisioning.
I started writing love letters to jack to the base came so I can now if I should just exist or be brought back to life. Sort of speak.
When the first letter was brought to me when I was in the middle of reading loving words; then thubetan tore it up in from of me. Making it heard to be with anyone.
Every time I received a letter I was able to read it then it was distorted. My only life line with jack. Oh how I cried when the letters where being destroyed and being threatened with death. I was stuck unwilling and sad.
It got to much when thubetan beat me and I tried to jump from the nearest cliff. Leaving no not for thubetan. That was when I felt a gentle touch a grab on my shoulder and I being prevented to end it. It was another nun who was watching all this time…..my abuse.
"I take you to your jack"
I thanked her and followed her to secret path to base camp.
When I go there I didn't see another woman nor him dead. He was alive, rescued, and getting back to his feet again. He asked what happened to me and I broke down. I was crying historically. Someone had to give me something to calm down. When I woke from tranquilizers I I saw only jack. He was saying how much i mean to him. And that he liked with a shaved head.
He kissed my eyebrow and said that we will find someone else to do the ritual.