Well i might as well have bloody hell ruined everything because what the heck is happening right now?. My maids are looking at me like i am running mad and to be sincere with you, i also suspect that myself.
Mum had dropped off a dress for me and y'know it's starting to make sense now. It is all starting to make sense because i had been thinking, why would a member of the ruling house be on his way here with my brother?.
Even though Ilya is known for his looks and even though he gives himself less credit than he is due, i know my brother.
I know exactly what he is capable of and so when mum says he is here with a member of the house Bartell, i have to let my imagination run wild as to the why.
I am still super excited that i will get to see my brother but right now the excitement has died down, it has been replaced by something more frustrating and i should know because i am utterly sure i am frustrated at this point.
"Can someone get my mother please?"
Alina shoots me a sly look and i roll my eyes at her. She had mended up nicely after what had happened to her not a day ago, okay it was yesterday and i know she still feels pain. I know she will still feel immense pain and i sympathise with her on that. Well i did more than sympathise actually, i interrogated her.
Since mother said father was not here last night then there is no possiblity that he is the one who had violated her, well unless mother helped him and i know she would not. She was a slave herself and the only reason that she even allows father his way with most of the household staff is because.........
My stomach roils in discomfort at the thought of that, the thought of my mother having to sacrifice others like her all because she wants to keep her sanity and her peace in check. She could simply bewitch him into being the nice and responsible father figure i had always imagined but then it would be too obvious. There are enough rumors flying around about my family already, i don't really want any of them to be confirmed just yet.
Mother walks in and i can feel it.
I can feel that aura of grace and control that she always carries around, always and forever, especially when she has to so do something particularly nasty. A smile is on her face though and i feel like laughing long at this. It is no secret that my aunt, the duchess of farborough has been trying to kill her husband for a number of years now.
Well, it's no secret among the women of my family and we don't number up to three. I have always wondered why mother didn't simply kill the man who acted like we were beneath him at each and every occasion he was chanced.
That really isn't the problem right now though because he is injured and that is enough. After what he had tried to do to his own son years ago, i would say he deserves more than just some minor injuries.
There is also the fact that he is really crappy material for a father and he also does nothing to make me like him or his ways, so that's that.
Mother is staring at me like she is ready to cry and i am rolling my eyes because this is how she gets whenever she sees me in a new dress, especially when it's one she had picked out for me herself and when it suits me so well. I roll my eyes at the last statement because this woman i call my mother is the reason why i haven't gotten anything like a favorite color yet, or a favorite dress.
She picks out dresses that make me abandon the ones i had sworn my life to and then i end up feeling like a betrayal to half the dresses in my closet and i never pick up the other half again. This dress is one of such magical acquisitions that i have been gifted and there is something about the fabric...... there is something about the way it simply makes me feel like i am free. It gives me a very accurate feeling of beauty whenever i look in the mirror.
There is this sort of exhilaration that floods through me at the thought that i am wearing something so beautiful and at the same time, so simple. It is a simple green gown by all means but something else about the color calls to me. The color green.
I can feel mother looking at me and i know what is going through her mind. I don't know exactly what is going through her mind though but i can take a wild guess.
"I think you are beautiful. I think you look rare and powerful and you will do great things my child. You will do really great things"
The words come out of her mouth and soon i am back in my brother's room on his sixteenth birthday. Father had been around that day and mother had decided to get him out of the house so we could celebrate Ilya's birthday in peace. Father has always been convinced that Ilya isn't his child. He says the same thing to me all the time and for a man who is scared of his wife but doesn't know why, he sure is foolish sometimes.
Ilya's sixteenth birthday had been something sort of magical at a point. He looked young, a lot younger than his age but i still looked like a child beside him. We share the same features, almost the same though because the color of his eyes are different from mine. Even that change in his eye color had also been a surprise because even mother didn't look like she expected it.
He looked radiant that day....... well until what happened happened.
I sigh.
Green holds a rather bitter memory for us.