"The sun never asks permission to shine, he just shines"
Waking up by the rays of sunlight bathing her room in a golden glow, she opened her eyes and looked around at the window, it was a very fine morning. Stopping a yawn midway, she sat up straight and stretched her arms.
" I feel like I slept for a decade. Haven't felt like this before."
" Who would have thought life will be this unexpected? One day you wake up and you are being given a brand new life with a feral perspective to live fully." Violet said to herself wondering.
" But I didn't know I would live another lonely life. Being given everything can't fill that emptiness I feel in my heart. I can't remove this thought from my mind, like my soul left my body and I'm someone else and my soul belongs to someone else. I've never felt whole. Maybe the piece of me that would complete me has been gone long ago. " Violet thought looking at the new bright day.
" I have never seen this kind of 180-degree change in anybody except you Violet," Phoenix said.
" You went optimistic to pessimistic in record time. I would say you are a realist."
"Life has given me a lot of bad days. Someday I never wanna wake up, some days I thought I would disappear and someday I wanted to die peacefully and never wanna wake up again." Violet said.
"Life wasn't easier. It wasn't bearable either. Every day felt like manual labor, hard work, like going up a mountain and draining your energy every second and never reaching the top. " Violet explained with a heavy heart sigh.
"I won't say the cliche that a burning candle is burning to give light to others, but I would say coal has to go through a lot of phases to become diamond and gold has to endure enormous heat to become what looks beautiful to the eyes. " Phoenix tried to give hope to Violet.
" Yes, you are right, and I know it, but I sometimes don't wanna know it." She said and got up to get ready for the day.
After getting dressed up she took her gown and walked toward the door to go out.
In daylight, the church was looking more vast and enlightened. She walked taking small steps and crossed the corridor.
After the corridor, there were round stairs to get down to the big hall. She reached the last stair and heard some noises coming from a room on the right side.
She went in that direction and knocked on the door. "Come in," someone said, she opened the door but stood in the doorway thinking about what to do. Someone was standing with Jasper, a man in his sixties with all white hair but a sacred aura with kind eyes. Both of them looked at her and went silent.
Then a second later the unknown person said, " How are you feeling now dear?" Violet looked at him with uncertain eyes and replied, "I'm alright."
Jasper spoke to Violet " He is the Father of this church, Violet. He was the one who found you unconscious and took you in."
" Ohh, " she changed her expression from neutral to gratified and said, " Thank you for taking care of me. I don't know how to repay you, Father."
Father smiled with his kind eyes and walked toward her, patting her head in a way that is used for only children, he said: " It's okay Dear, no need to be formal, you are like a daughter I never had, you can live comfortably in the church and feel at home here." By saying that, he excused himself from both of them and went out for some urgent work.
And then Jasper cleared his throat and asked her, "Are you going somewhere?". "Yes, I wanted to go out for some personal stuff.
" Do you need anyone to go with you? You don't know the area, you aren't aware of the surroundings, would you like me to go with you?" he offered.
" No, thank you, it's alright. I can find my way. I'll get lost when I never wanna be found but that's not the case today," she said with a sad smile.
" I'll take my leave now, have a good day," she said while turning and heard "You too".
She walked out of the room, crossed the hall, reached the main door, past the vast lawn, walked on the driveway, and went out of the big iron gate. The church was in a place where no houses were around. In broad daylight, the church looked like a castle. And she felt like a caged princess in a castle.
" No one can beat you, Violet, no one can beat you in pessimism." A voice startled her. She almost dropped her phone while jumping from suspicion. But barely calmed herself down.
" You feel like you are a captive but you don't know that you are protected."
" Phoenix, can you let me be myself right now? I really don't wanna think optimistic."
"OK, I won't say anything."
Thank God there was no one in sight or they might have thought why is this girl talking to herself, is she delusional?
Violet clutched her phone in her hand and started taking bigger steps until she came out on a corner that was leading to a busy road where traffic could be seen and it gave more a lively vibe to the area. She walked on the road and saw a department store. She started walking towards the store, taking swift steps, she walked in the store pushing the door open. Hanging bells announced her arrival, smell of roses welcomed her and rays of sunshine was coming through the glass door, giving the place a majestic atmosphere. It was not just a departmental store, it had all kinds of things. She saw different sorts of mirrors, appealing stones, colourful wine bottles filled with god knows what, she stopped at a watch stand, wrist watches that looked like preloved already worn watches,also carrying the warmth of the person who last wore them, watches with a story yet to be told and still they looked like they were waiting for someone to show up so that they can give them their fair share of good time and good fortune.
Touching the cold glass dial of a purple strap watch Violet put it on her wrist and felt something, closing her eyes she saw; a car in front of her, blood everywhere and orange feathers majestically opening. Someone put a hand on her shoulder which alerted her and she looked behind her back and saw a woman in her forties wearing a bohemian dress and had a long breaded hair. Her fine nails with transparent paint on it were making it attractive.
"Are you looking for something my dear?" she asked.
"I was just looking for something to distract myself. Nothing in particular would you recommend me anything in your store ;vintage, antique or something special?"
"Looking at you I think I might have something for you, let me go upstairs and find it for you. I keep my special things on the upper floor for exclusive customers only."She said that and went upstairs to a locked room.
Violet stayed there looking at other things. "What am I looking for? What could I possibly find that would help me right now with my current situation? A girl who has changed inside and out, still not able to adapt to her new self, wishing to disappear but not weak enough to give up on her self, I feel like a project under construction."
Hanging bells rang giving her the news that another customer came in, but she didn't try to see who it was, instead she just stood there counting the watches on the stand, there were a total of 70 watches, her eyes got tired looking at them for too long. She changed her view towards the antique jewellery area near the stairs,it had bracelets, rings, necklaces, beads and real rare stones.
She heard some noises coming from the back area where preloved clothes and shoes were kept. Maybe the other customer was looking for something. But it made her uncomfortable like she was being watched. She straightened her purse and checked the time on her phone.
"Why is it taking her too long?" Violet thought.
"Ma'am?" she called.
"Are you coming Ma'am?"she called again still no response.
"Should i check on her?" she thought. "But its rude to walk in her private secret locked room. Maybe I should just go and come back later.
"Ma'am! it's okay if you didn't find anything for me. I'll come back later."
Still no response.
She waited there another 30 seconds but couldn't tolerate anymore, so she walked towards the exit door. Then all of a sudden someone held her hand turned her around causing her to lose balance, she took a sharp breath and tried to not fall on the floor but those strong hands made sure she didn't fall and steadied her body.
"Found you." she heard.