'Damn! Damnit! Just because I can't walk or talk doesn't mean you all have to treat me like this! That stupid duke dared to give me to that old monster… I'm dead for sure this time…'
William was in the baby carriage, looking down at him was a lady in the standard black and white maid attire with long pitch-black hair and ebony eyes. She had a beautiful pale complexion that seemed kind of surreal when stared at for too long.
'I've been here for only a day but I already miss that crazy maid so bad,' William lampooned.
This maid had been staring at him with a crumpled expression on her face for at least an hour now.
'Is there no normal person in this world? What's with this trash isekai universe? I miss home. Even though everyone was gone at least there was Forthnite—no! Don't get distracted. You still haven't made any progress in finding Allison. Going back will be completely useless if she isn't with me.
'Yes, according to my extensive knowledge of isekai, the first thing I should do is gather knowledge and understand the world I'm in.'
The maid still stared at William, but that didn't matter to him anymore. He was currently having his favorite pastime, thinking about thoughts.
'Okay, there are vampires in this world and it's in the early stages of advancement, similar to the Victorian era according to its structures and the fact that I rode in a carriage instead of a car. But when were cars even invented?
'Damn. Just realized, contrary to regular isekai, I was not a genius in my past life nor do I have any specialty like a survival instinct that can adapt to situations instantly.
'Like that one isekai about blood and a succubus. Ahaha, I remember cringing so hard. How could one realistically have a complete 360 in character? When the author gives them a backstory that balances it out or some other goofy-ass-shit. Anyways, that's not the common, regular individual. Ah, straying away from what's necessary again.
'What is my uniqueness then? I was a common man, then I became the bastard child of a princess, and now I am the only child of a viscount way past his prime years. Allison said she had given me what that certain evil person is looking for, but I don't know what it is.
'Okay, my perks are the royal blood flowing in me, and the thing Allison gave me, whatever it is…
'…nothing from my previous life is useful apart from my knowledge of a trash genre. Hah, what shit luck. Oh yes—they said I'm cursed too.
William muttered in his head, 'But I have no idea what that's about, frankly speaking. What exactly makes me cursed? No one says. Not even that crazy maid. And you! Why do you keep staring at me?!'
"La Lau la lar…"
The maid, of course, couldn't understand the jumblings of a baby. She clicked her tongue in annoyance and ended the staring contest by walking away. The baby was probably too cute.
Boom. William felt a light disturbance from the ground. The disturbance shook the bed a little.
He felt it again but the intensity increased a little. It was as if it was coming closer.
'What on earth is that? Maybe… maybe an earthquake is about to occur?' He thought.
Boom… Boom… Boom…
William cried loudly in a feat of panic, but the sound came to an abrupt stop after picking up rhythm.
Suddenly, a large figure, over seven feet tall and four feet wide, towered over him.
'W-W-What is this?!' He screamed in his head, crying even louder as a baby.
The figure was completely concealed in the shadows of the room and only its silhouette was visible. It bent a little as it entered the light.
She was also in the standard black and white maid attire. She leaned her hand in the carriage and picked William up and raised him to the sky.
'Unhand me, you—you vile creature! Viscount Maxton! My new father! Please! I'm about to be eaten by a bear! Damnit! Where is safe in this god-forsaken world?!' The baby's cries resounded, becoming extremely annoying with each passing second the louder it became.
The large maid pulled William into her embrace and rocked him gently, but that wasn't able to stop him from crying. William felt calm and his cries reduced. He then slowly opened his eyes but he immediately shut them back.
'What the heck did I just see? What on earth did I just see?! Am I in a horror story?! Ahh! I can't get that image out of my head! I never knew a human face could have such a traumatizing effect! No, there's no way this thing is human!'
Boom. The maid stepped closer into the light and it shone on her face. It was the strong face of a stone-cold mafia boss trying to force a smile. It was traumatizingly hideous. This maid had dark brown hair tied in a short ponytail.
She calmly dropped William back in the carriage and released the ugly smile. Just like magic, all the features of her face disappeared. The only things that remained were two lines that represented her eyes and one for her mouth.
'Why didn't you just come this way?! Traumatizing someone like that. Just, never smile. Ever! Save someone's life by sparing them those few seconds of the torture of witnessing your smile!' William yelled. With the way he spoke, if he could, he would have written a book on how he survived the most traumatizing thing on earth.
The gigantic maid gently rocked William's carriage.
'What are you doing? Get out of my sight. You've already pissed me… off… uh… my eyes! They're closing… Stop rocking me, you manly woman! What… what sorcery is this…'
Once again, William wasn't able to overcome this vice.
❈ ❈ ❈
A year later…
'It is time! I feel it in my bones! I've patiently waited for this day. I trained… day in, day out!'
William stood at the edge of his carriage and held the frame.
He struggled to lift himself over and fell to the floor with a thud.
'Ouch! Damnit! So babies feel pain ten times worse...'
William's eyes were watering but he encouraged himself and used all his might to lift his big head.
'…Yes!' He thought, managing to balance his head and stand up straight.
William took a step and wobbled several times before he got himself. Then he took another step, then another step, and another step…
'I'm doing it! I'm doing it! Gilde, come see, I'm doing it!' He cheered himself on, smiling uncontrollably as he trotted around the room.
There was a bookshelf on the right side of the bedroom.
'Yes! Now I can gain information about this world,' He thought, moving towards it.
As he trotted, he instinctively looked towards the door of the room.
'What the heck?' he screamed.
William almost jumped in a scare if he could, but all he did was fall to the ground.
That particular maid from before that engaged him in a staring contest had been watching him from a tiny opening in the door.
William always noticed her presence when Gilde, the gigantic maid, took care of him. She was always silently watching from a corner.
'How would it look if a year-old baby was already reading a book? It'll draw too much suspicion. And this woman keeps watching me for some reason.
'I'm with what that evil person needs so he must be looking for me. I need to be extra cautious and not draw any useless suspicion like that isekai about that king who reincarnated in a world of mana and aether…'
William stared at the maid and once again, the staring contest had begun.
'…Argh. I knew it. No one is normal in this world.'
William fell on his back and cried out loud like the baby he was.