Sunshine Biscuit

The sun rises over the medium size city of Horror Lake, A lakeport city built in the gray mist of time positions somewhere between west America and Warsaw, Poland. Don't mind the name either, Horror lake was named due to a humorous limerick from way back when. Yup, the most you'll hear about in Horror lake would be about Farmer Hubble's pig being snatched or some delinquent vandals desecrating some old antique statue. Oh, and the killer bees. Can't forget the killer bees. 

  Either way, let us observe the life of Horror lake in the eyes of its desidens. In a small suburban house. Posters of various musicians from all decades and generations lined the walls, broken by the shelves filled with her achievements. Trophies from Spelling bees, honor rolls, and debate teams filled the shelves on the wall. Shot by a beam of light is a single wooden acoustic guitar. A single hand swipes across her make-up desk. 

SHELBY: Okay girl, just calm down, calm down. It's only high school, just your first day in high school. Remember what Mr. Smith told you about staying calm. 

  Her mind flashes back to when she was younger and first studying the guitar under his soft tutelage. Her fingers dumb and fidgety, clumsily playing the guitar. The more she tried, the more erratic her playing would become. It was the calming brown hand of Aaron Smith that helped her.

AARON: Shelby, the more nervous you get, the worse you're bound to play. Stay calm, even when your stomach is filled with Butterflies. A true musician knows how to play even when under pressure. That's the key to learning alright? To stay calm under pressure, under watchful eyes okay? 

  Shelby Kadawasky looks up at her wall, of the various men and women who had inspired her all her life. BB King and Elle Fitzgerald standing next to Bonnie Smith and Robert Smith from the cure. A tumble of curly blonde locks cascades down her face and onto her pink jacket and her pixies shirt. Bright red jeans and sneakers finished the ensemble. Suffice it to say, Shelby Kadawasky acts exactly how she looked. 

SHELBY: (she claps her face lightly with both hands) Alright girl, it's time to show the world who you are, who's large, metaphorically, and incharge! As the Romans once said, Carpe diem!

MRS. KADAWASKY: Kids, foods ready and I made you guys a big first day back to school breakfast but if your dad ends up eating all the waffles I'm not going to replace them!

SHELBY: coming! I'll get Francis

  Shelby walks down the hall towards her older brother's room where a dead kennedys poster is plastered on it. Inside the room was a disaster of Pro wrestling and gundam figures and, for one reason or another, Garfield stuff. Misfit and sex pistols posters line the wall. In the center, snoring like a dump truck, was a mass of arms, legs and a comforter angled in impossible ways atop the bed. 

SHELBY: oh, the blissful sleep of caveman babes. SPEEDY!! WAKE UP!!

  The mound of limbs and bedding writhe about till a protrusion sticks up under the comforter.

SPEEDY: wha? What's going on? Fire? Is there a flash fire?

SHELBY: First day of school numb nuts and you're still sleeping. (She pulls the comforter off her brother, revealing a head of spiky brown hair atop a half-asleep face) come on and get up. 

SPEEDY: (looking at his garfield clock) but it's only seven thirty. (He flops back into a sleeping position.) You need to learn that  no one gives two craps about high school. (He nestles his head back on the pillow with his eyes closed.) you'll realize soon enough that high school amounts to the same thing as middle school and elementary school. Me? My future lies on being a circus freak or construction. 

SHELBY: Well, mom just happened to make a big breakfast for us Peanuthead, waffles and bacon and if you don't get down there quick enough dad'll go warthog mode on a lot of it.

SPEEDY: Bacon crispy bacon!! (he rolls out of bed, still in his underpants, while struggling to put on his pants.) I gotta get ready before all the butter's gone.

  Shelby and Speedy run down stairs to find their mom and dad, Jules and Sherry, eating at the table. Jules reading the morning paper while drinking coffee as his wife  Sherry, cigarette in her mouth and bathrobe on, pours herself a cup of coffee.

JULES: no more tiny biscuits left.

SPEEDY: Oh, come on! you ate them all?

JULES: You should know by now that, in this kitchen, we work by Viking rules; first come, first served and only the strong survive.

SHERRY: (sitting down with her cup and a plate of assorted breakfast foods) go ahead guys, there's more than enough. Make yourselves a plate.

The two make themselves a plate, Shelby's being proper, refined and delicate while Speedies is haphazard, mismatched and covered in syrup. 

SHELBY: (looking at her brother's plate in disgust) why don't you swallow it whole like a duck? It'll take you half the effort. 

SPEEDY: Half the time I do do that, what's wrong with strategic eating? 

SHELBY: It means you're a caveman Speedy. 

SHERRY: (while stirring her coffee) Francis, Shelby, not right in the morning, please. Let's at least pretend we're a normal family. 

The two begin eating in silence, the clatter of utensils scratching plates the only sounds. Shelby finally breaks the silence after remembering some info.

SHELBY: Oh mom, dad, Greg told me his parents want to have an old get together with you guys in the near future, like a BBQ or something. Said you guys haven't seen each other in a long time and wanted to catch up. 

JULE: (making a scowl) Greg Schmidt? Hugo Schmidts son!? Why the hell would I want to see that big green trash bag again!?

SHERRY: oh come on honey, we haven't done our old shtick in years now and we've let bygones be bygones, at least the Schmidts have. Come on, It'll be fun! 

JULES: It's the principle of the matter that counts. every time I see his stupid smug face I just want to punch him again. 

SHERRY: Oh I don't think that's a good idea, you remember what happened the last fifty times you tried it. 

JULES: (mumbling to himself as he shuffles through his paper) lucky shots, nothing but lucky shots is all. 

(Flashback)

Julian Kadawasky, the nefarious Wacky Wizard, cackles before his electric globe, dressed in a long red tunic over his elaborate advanced armor. He steps across the bridge of his Zeppelin, the Whiz-Banger, tossing his cape with a flourish over his shoulder and glares down at the city of Horror Lake

WACKY-WIZARD: look down at this complex contrive collection of conniving cowards and crowning curmudgeons, laying about while I, the Wacky Wizard, will soon lay claim to their entire wealth: the sheep farms! Without Horror Lake's major export, the entire city will soon devolve into savagery and dystopia which will allow me to swoop in and take control!!

SHERRY: (dressed as a cigarette girl) Jolly gee, what an amazing idea Mr. Wiz! Soon all their sheep will be gone and theres nothing that big dumb Gamma boy can do about it.

A figure slams through the blimp's door. What stands up is something akin to the green power ranger in an elaborate cape. . 

SUPER-ULTRA-GAMMA MAN: Not so fast, Wacky Wizard and his vile assistant Sherry Bomb. You can pull the wool over the eyes of the mayor but not with me.

SHERRY: drat! It's the big green trash bag!

WACKY WIZARD: Blasted Super Ultra Gamma Man, how did you know my plans!?

SUPER-ULTRA-GAMMA MAN: Why, elementary dear Wacky wiz, when you feigned that you had changed anew and wished to live a life of lawful citizenry, you forgot to remove your patent for your deceptive sheep magnet ray!

WACKY WIZARD: Blast and damnation! Wonder wiz brigade, after him! 

Out from the corners of the room come a swarm of minions in lab coats and tricorn hats with rubber gloves flood into the room.

(end flashback)

SHERRY: you always have a problem with letting things go, hun.

JULES: (still reading his newspaper) can't help it, I'm a Cancer. We're vindictive by nature.

A loud honk from outside cuts their convo short.

SHELBY: That should be greg. Come on Speedy. (She quickly gets up from her seat and throws her backpack on.)

SPEEDY: Hold on, Imma coming! (he then takes two waffles, puts the eggs and bacon in between and runs out with his breakfast sandwich.)

SHELBY: (staring disbelieving at her big brother as he runs off with his monstrosity in his hands. She turns back to her parents) he's gonna embarrass me at school, isn't he?

SHERRY: That's an older brother's job honey. 

  Outside the Kadawaskys home sits a red minivan, leaning against the van is a broad shouldered youth with long auburn hair in a black pilot jacket and blue jeans. Shelby walks out with Speedy while eats his makeshift waffle sandwich.

SHELBY: Hey Greg! Ready for our first day back? 

GREG: not really Shelb. (He turns a slightly disgusted face towards speedy) uh, speedy, you're not gonna eat that in my car, are you?

SPEEDY: It'll be fine! 

GREG: but it's gonna get crap all over the floor

SPEEDY: no it won't. (Just as he says that, a big glob of egg, gristle and syrup all meshed into one gooey droplet  falls down to the ground.)

GREG: (sighs) fine. We gotta hurry. Just try to not make too much of a mess. 

SPEEDY: I promise nothing!

The group enters the car and starts off. Speedy in the back seat, eating his culinary concoctions while Shelby took seat in the passenger's seat. Everyone Greg was going to pick up all lived within the same cul-de-sac where Greg lived farthest down the road. It was his job to pick everyone up since it would make no more than a complete circle.

GREG: Got some bad news, gotta pick up S.U.S with Baxter. 

SHELBY: What!?

SPEEDY: Oh come on!

GREG: He has to get to school just like everyone else does guys. What else am I supposed to do?

SHELBY: Make him walk?

SPEEDY: make him fall into a hole somewhere? 

SHELBY: make him hitchhike?

GREG: He's Baxter's twin brother, if we give Baxter a lift to school, we have to do the same with his brother.

SPEEDY: But he's evil!

GREG: Evil is a bit of a stretch, isn't it? 

SPEEDY: He tried to kill us!

SHELBY: multiple times.

GREG: kill is a bit of a stretch. Moreso kick us till we're unconscious 

SPEEDY: him and his stupid wolf pack or whatever he calls them keep trying to terrorize the school all the time!

SHELBY: He's a mega level turd asshole who picks on everyone he calls 'beta-bitches'. 

SPEEDY: how about that one time when he grew that weird organic gun-arm?

GREG: yeah, that weird gun-arm thing was pretty creepy. 

SHELBY: He's also tried on multiple occasions to have tried to look up my dress.

GREG: Baxter's done the exact same thing so you can't lay the complete blame of S.U.S

SHELBY: eh, when Baxter does it, it's kinda like that wacky neighbor scenario. When S.U.S does it, there's a weird child molester vibe to it. they both get clocked upside the head, but for different reasons.

SPEEDY: Hey, does Maria know about this? 

GREG: She'll know soon enough.

 Within a dark room, the only light being from the window, blocked by a long silk curtain while long candles, wax curls on all, line the night stands, armoire and makeup desk as posters of glam rockers of old stare down. The resident of this room, a young Mexican girl, places an assortment of small skulls and figurines into a purse at her waist. When done she turns to the body length mirror to examine herself. A long black dress, buckled at the waist by a black belt with frilled sleeves and puffy shoulders. She poses twice before taking a long brimmed floppy hat, sliding a broom into the darkness within and then placing it on her head.

MARIA: You lookin' damn good, girl! (She exits her room and heads quickly down the stairs) going to school! Be back later! Have a good day!

DIEGO: Little Girl, come here before you leave!

MARIA: ah crap! (Rolling her eyes, she turns away from the front door and walks into the living room.) Yes dad?

  Diego Santanna looked down at his daughter, a long black beard and bushy eyebrows covered much of his face. Imagine, if you will, a younger Gandalf who was also Mexican and moonlighted as a lounge singer. That was Maria's father, Diego Santanna. 

DIEGO: you are a woman now, little girl. your fifteenth year has passed many moons ago and soon the power gifted to you by your blood will grow stronger and stronger. Within you breathe the power of the Bruja, never forget that.

MARIA: don't think I can, you remind me every day. 

DIEGO: You talk like that, but one day you will understand completely the power that dwells within you, of the majica you hold. Long ago...

MARIA: Oh no, not again dad!

DIEGO: ... when el fuego fought upon that ancient keep.

MARIA: (putting her fingers in her ears.) don't wanna hear! Lalala! Don't wanna hear it! I already heard this stupid story 

DIEGO: ... and the only ones left to fight the darkness was 

MARIA+DIEGO: Joseph smith and our own great ancestor Luiz Ramirez Santanna, the greatest wizard of his age. 

MARIA: I know dad, I get it, I've heard it a billion times. 

DIAGO: an insullent little girl we have here. (he bends down and pulls out a giant old tomb, covered in dust, and slams it down on the table.) I think it's time for a little history lesson.

MARIA: Oh no! Oh no! Sorry dad, I gotta go! There's an army of rabid diabetic lobsters outside and I gotta make sure they don't corrupt the children! Adios! (she runs out and slams the door behind her. Maria walks up to the front of her house waiting for Greg and while turning left to see her best friend of nearly a decade, she sees a sight she wished she never saw and groans.) Oh come on! No no no no. Seriously?

  Standing outside the house next to hers, which features a broken down tracker and an old tv on the front lawn stands two young men nearly identical to each other except their attire: Baxter in his denim jacket with black rimmed glasses and jeans, blond hair a mess while the second twin, S.U.S,  wore an entire business suit and sunglasses, white and immaculate, his blond hair slicked back. They stood looking away from each other, arms crossed.

BAXTER: Not my fault. Want to blame anyone, blame mom. She said since we're carpooling we all need to go in the same car. Said it's for family bonding.

MARIA: Can you two bond somewhere where I don't have to see his ugly face? Like family therapy or a prison cell?

S.U.S: Hey, it's not like I enjoy this anymore than you little pricks. Sharks don't hang with bottom feeders, which you two are. Plus, you cramp my swag ability.

BAXTER: 'Swag abilities', you mean being the mean girl's little bitch? 

S.U.S: You mean socializing with high quality women is what you mean, right? Soon enough I'll be dripping in poon when they detect my alpha male energy while you, the prawn, wallow at the bottom of the status totem pole. 

BAXTER: Yeah, keep saying that. Enjoy the next twelve restraining orders, I think you're on the way to breaking the new record. 

MARIA: (leaning over the fence) Can't we just lock him in a box and say we took him to school with us?

BAXTER: Remember, we tried that before. He just got out and we had to do community service afterwards.

MARIA: (smiling) Oh yeah! I still remember his high pitch screams when we threw him in the lake. 

S.U.S: it wasn't funny. 

BAXTER: It was very funny

MARIA: Baxter, don't take offense but I really wish your mom had a smart coat hanger about 16 years ago which could pull out one specific fetus. 

BAXTER: No biggy, sometimes I wish she did too. 

Greg's minivan finally stops by both of their houses. As they start walking up to the van, Baxter stops S.U.S.

BAXTER: oh no, you're not driving in the front with us, you're hopping in the trunk. 

S.U.S: what did you just say to me? I can't understand guppy talk

BAXTER: it's either that or we tether a bicycle to the bumper while we hedge our bets to see how long you last. 

S.U.S: I, of all people, will NOT be degraded like that, you little beta-male punk! 

BAXTER: you hop in the trunk like a good boy or you're gonna be eating out of a trash bag!! 

S.U.S: I'd like to see you try! (he tackles Baxter in the stomach, who starts punching him in the back)

BAXTER: Let's see how good those self help seminars do when you got all your permanent teeth in your throat! 

Baxter pushes S.U.Ss head into the window, as Greg just stares forward blankly and sighs a deep, meaningful sigh.

SHELBY: Will you two act your age for once!? Stop embarrassing everyone and just get in the car. 

After that confrontation, they proceed down the road to school after seating arrangements were finally agreed upon: S.U.S. in the second row of seats, his arms folded with an annoyed face while Maria takes up the left passenger seat, Speedy the right, and Baxter the middle. 

GREG: see? Was it that complicated to do? Did it hurt anyone?

BAXTER: my pride

MARIA: my dignity. 

GREG: oh, I know you guys had neither of those to begin with. 

Baxter looks at the breakfast sandwich Speedy was eating. 

BAXTER: Speedy, have I ever told you you have an amazing gift of making any form of food completely unappetizing? 

SPEEDY: you're just jealous of my genius invention aren't you? 

BAXTER: Maybe Guy Fieri's jealous, not me.

GREG: Changing subject! Is anyone excited to be going back?

BAXTER+SPEEDY+MARIA+S.U.S: No!!

BAXTER: You know this is all simply a scam? It's a psychotic cross between a daycare and a prison except in either of those you get the thin vein hope something good will happen to be on the horizon.

MARIA: I'm not looking forward to hearing all the damn weirdo gossip they're gonna spread about me. You invite some people to your Quinceanera and they start gobbling nonsense about it.

GREG: to be fair Maria, it was an odd birthday party.

SPEEDY: I liked it, it reminded me of the ending to Raiders of the Lost ark!

S.U.S: how come I wasn't invited?

BAXTER: (leaning his head back to look at him) well, that's because we hate you. 

GREG: Oh come on, It's Shelbys first day in high school! She's excited, aren't ya?

SHELBY: Of course! Think about all the opportunities and extracurricular activities we'll be able to join and do! Drama, music, art. There's also the advanced classes I'll be able to apply for and I know Horror Lake High allows college classes. I wanted to take some so I could increase my SAT score to get into a better college. Also, I've heard the Library is one of the largest in the tri-county area!

Everyone stares at Shelby blankly, as if she just threw up a tap dancing monkey in front of them. 

BAXTER: Oh God, this is gonna be my life for the foreseeable future.

SPEEDY: Hey! Don't knock my sister man! 

BAXTER: I will when dribble like that comes out of it! 

SHELBY: (turns back around and mumbles to herself) next time I'll make sure to talk about monster trucks or something on your pyon brain level. 

They finally arrive at the three story building known as Horror Lake High School. An old antiquated building with many other high school students milling about the campus like dogeared whipped welps waiting for their master to let them in so they may be whipped even more. The gang exit out of the car and proceed to the main grounds, Shelby walking quickly in a huff. 

SPEEDY: Hey Shelby, wait up. You know car etiquette, you dont head out unless everyones together.

SHELBY: Speedy, this is my first day and I just want to make a good impression. I'm already super jittery due to being in a new school, let alone due to skipped a grade forward and being a year younger than everyone else, I don't need you spazzing out or Baxter and Maria coming up with some cockamamie plot to steal my school books or something.

SPEEDY: why? Everyone knows you're my sister. 

SHELBY: That's bad enough Speedy, and I wish there is an alternative but there's not. So could you and everyone just hold up making me like just one of you guys?

SPEEDY: oh, come on. Why would you.. (speedy notices something on the ground) Oh! A Quarter!

  As Speedy bends down to pick up his new find, a honking school bus comes barreling down Speedys way. Unable for neither to move out of the way, the bus collides with him and Speedys thin frame smooshes the bus like an accordion on collision. Greg, Baxter and Maria walk past the accident as if nothing out of the ordinary happened.

BAXTER: typical

MARIA: eh, 7 out of 10

GREG: ya know they dont grow on trees right Speedy. 

SPEEDY: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. (to the demolished Bus) everyone okay in there?

S.U.S: that's why you'll never make it to the big life.

  The entirety of the high school funnels into the basketball court for the morning announcement by principal Haberman about the new school year they'll be embarking upon. Speedy and the gang make their way up to the top of the bleachers while Shelby, still wishing to make a good impression, sits closer down by the  academic kids. Principle Haberman, an old plump black gentleman with eyes made for being worried wiped at his forehead for the thousandth time 

HABERMAN: Good morning classes of Horror Lake High! A new year has begun, a new year of learning, of friendships and opportunities, and hopefully not a new year of horrifying practical jokes ( he stares up at Greg and the gang) or any horrifying life-or-death situations. (he looks at S.U.S. and his little group of friends). Hopefully this new year will be bright and virtuous rather than a bleak and horrible one. The football fields finally have been fixed and soon enough we'll start a sign up for anyone who wishes to join the new and improved Horror Lake nightmares!

  Though, due to the funds needed for fixing the field, the new uniforms and equipment, we needed to cut back on music, band, the arts, high level sciences and the Astronomy wing has been shut down. On to other news, we*

  Haberman was cut off as the hall started shaking, shaking and rattling, the lights flickering on and off and a cavernous hole billowing with violent winds and violet lights seeped up in the ground. Spirits flow out with howling wails of sorrow and despair. The walls begin to drip crimson blood out from the woodwork, forming the words "you will all die young".

HABERMAN: hey! Hey! HEY! Quit that and shut up for a goddamn second! I'm talking! ( the hall quiets down, the cavernous hole closes up and the ghosts disperse.) Thank you very much. As I was saying....

  Midday comes by quickly as the lunch bell rings in the school. Greg waits for Shelby by the cafeteria line and leads her to their typical table, far to the end of the school shaded by a large old oak tree next to the parking lot, a steel fence surrounding the school. The rest of the gang sits there, Speedy with a monstrosity of a sandwich yet more interested in his Switch at the moment, Maria with a plethora of side dishes and no main course while Baxter just sits there watching the rest of them eat, taking an interest in Speedys game.

SHELBY: (to Baxter) you didn't bring anything for lunch? 

GREG: Bax never brings anything for lunch. 

BAXTER: Lunch is simply a marketing tool meal made by corporate assholes. 

GREG: what isn't a conspiracy to you? 

SHELBY: (looks around the lunch area, making sure no one could overhear them) I think the school's haunted. 

BAXTER: Yeah, no shit.(turns back to watching speedy play his game)  Oh come on, Speedy, don't use a heal in this turn, you're wasting mana!

SHELBY: You know it's haunted?

GREG: you didn't know it was haunted? 

SPEEDY: Why do you think they locked down the entire thing at night?

SHELBY: I just assumed it was to discourage vandals.

BAXTER: You should know better, when has a locked door disparaged us from getting into someplace? 

SHELBY: And you guys were perfectly fine with the place being haunted!?

BAXTER: Meh, it is what it is. No, man! Don't switch out Esquabar, he's got spells that'll help!

SPEEDY: I used up all of his mana.

BAXTER: Well that's your problem, you're probably not gonna win this round now and going to have to start all over. 

SHELBY: shouldn't we try and stop it? Or at least try to send the spirits to the other side or something? This could end up causing a lot of problems down the line.

BAXTER: Oh, like what?

  Three tables away from them, the table suddenly opens into a thousand toothed vortex, sucking in a wailing and crying student down within its abyss. 

BAXTER: Oh that was Howard, no ones gonna miss him. 

Suddenly a black mustang drives up right next to the fence and large oak tree. this was one of the main reasons why they sat in this area for lunch. Coming out of the driver's side seat comes an embodiment of rebellious youth. Long black hair framing a pale face with black eyeliner with too many piercings while wearing a metallica shirt, shorts with fishnets and boots useful only for shuffling stumbling steps. She was the definition of daddy issues. 

EMILY: Beep beep beep motherfuckers! 

SHELBY: Can you even climb the fence in those shoes? 

EMILY: Lets try and see! (Emily jumps on the fence and slowly, struggling, to climb over it) Okay, okay, I think I got this. I got this! (She ends up slipping on the descent and falls) I don't! I don't! (She flops down on her butt. She springs up as if nothing happened) I, uh, meant to do that. 

MARIA: Did ya bring the hotdogs?

EMILY: hotdogs and something even better: (she pulls a bag filled with bottle rockets and fireworks out of her purse) fireworks! found them in the back of a chinese shop. Looks like they expired but who gives a shit! Let's toss them at cars on the interstate, Who's with me?

SHELBY: (with a flat look) Sadly no, I don't want to be an accomplice to a felony thank you.

MARIA: oh, you're like a fun succubus, you know that?

SHELBY: Excuse me?

MARIA: A fun succubus. You suck it all out of everything we do like a 2 dollar whore in a back alleyway.

SHELBY: Sorry if I don't find putting innocent drivers in danger is 'fun'.

EMILY: Oh, no ones gonna be in danger. Just skid about and curse at whoever shot them. You never did it before, pantsuit? (She starts dividing the hotdogs amongst the gang) 

BAXTER: Oh come on Shelb, nobody ever gets hurt. Well, not hurt too much. 

SHELBY: count me out on this one guys. (To Emily) Emi, sometimes I think you're a bad influence on these guys.

EMILY: Oh, and you're a good influence?

BAXTER: Emily's a rebel without a cause, an easy rider, five easy pieces. Let's be fair, there's not much to do in this godforsaken hellhole so lets have some fun and goof around. Furthermore, you never complained about Emi before being a bad influence.

SHELBY: she didn't hang out with us, she was babysitting us and making sure we weren't getting killed.

EMILY: just want to correct one thing: you guys almost got me killed far more times than vice versa. Got that? 

The doors of the gymnasium swing open, a howling scream of monstrous horror echoes out, the doorway transforming into a monstrous throat of teeth and tentacles and then slams closed again. 

SHELBY: I really think we should do something about this poltergeist. Its giving me the heeby jeebys

EMILY: oh, the place is still haunted? I thought they fixed that a few years back. Are there still those giant gaping mouths in the second floor ladies room? Those things creeped me out. 

MARIA: why bother? It gives the school a type of personality. Most schools are just stuffy mothball filled relics of the past but ours is like some metalhead singer doped out on a line of cocaine cut with bath salts. It's kinda fun

SHELBY: kinda fun!? It's eating people!

MARIA: Well, not important people. 

BAXTER: What are you expecting us to do? Cure the school of its haunting problem?

SHELBY: Well, yeah (everyone groans) Oh, come on, what is it?

BAXTER: you always haul us into these stupid dumb situations where we have to save the town from one thing or the other like we're the goonies or the Maguire twins.

SHELBY: I think you're confusing the Maguire twins with the bobbsey twins Bax.

MARIA: remember when we had to shut down the hotdog plant because someone didn't like the fact that they were being made out of manatees?

BAXTER: or that time you and greg decided it was for a 'noble cause' to stop those terrorists from taking over the airport?

SHELBY: It's not like I want to do this crap! All I said was maybe we should because we can. 

BAXTER: everytime we stick our necks out and save the town from something, it always ends up biting us in the ass in the end. I just want to act like a typical teenager: getting drunk, getting high and doing things I'll regret later on in life. Can you just allow us to live, girl? 

SHELBY: well, when the stupid school comes and takes something away from you thats important, dont come crying to me about it. We could have prevented it before it happened. 

BAXTER: oh, that's just silly. Nothing like that's gonna *

That's when the picnic table suddenly transformed into a thing of nightmares, tendrils sliding out of the gaping hole covered in sharp fierce teeth where eyes down its vicious guillot stares up at the gang as its tentacles slither and slide around Speedys body. The gang, and Speedys own strength, broke the apparitions hold but the switch itself fell into the cavernous mouth. The cavern laughs a gurgling chuckle then vanishes as if it never existed before.

SPEEDY: no! My Bingbing Wahoo!! I was almost at Azileth!

BAXTER: (his hands on his head in panic) This is a catastrophe! We gotta save the precious Switch! That was a limited edition zelda-plated copy 

MARIA: how deep does this hellbound hellhouse's evil go? 

SPEEDY: we gotta find a way to exercise the school from the evil spirit! Greg, do you think your dad has anything that can help fight against a haunting? 

GREG: Probably somewhere in the house. He's taken on enough ghosts and apparitions before.

MARIA: I'm gonna go and check my family's library. They might have a grimoire about how to fight against evil spirits like this!

BAXTER: hey Emi, mind giving me and Maria a lift. Dillons a tech savvy guy and I'm sure if anyone knows how to fight a ghost it'd be him.

EMILY: oh, I forgot I was just your guy's mindless chauffeur to drive you all over the place. I just wanted to see if you guys wanted to set things on fire or not.

MARIA: Oh, you weren't gonna do anything other than throw fireworks at passing cars. This way, we get to throw fireworks hopefully at a ghost.

SPEEDY: Let's stop wasting time! Every moment we waste talking, the battery loses power! 

GREG: Best if you come with me Speedy. (To Shelby) you coming with us Shelb? 

SHELBY: I hate everything and everyone in this stupid town. 

GREG: Is that a yes or a no? 

SHELBY: Fine fine fine! Lets fight the stupid possessed ghost and get Speedy stupid game boy.

SPEEDY: It's not a game boy. It's a switch madam! A limited edition zelda plated switch! 

BAXTER: Which makes everything far more dire! 

EMILY: (sighs) why can't anything with you guys just be simple 'getting drunk and high'. Fine. (She slowly starts climbing the fence)

SPEEDY: Why are you doing that? (Speedy grips the fence in the middle and tears a hole big enough for all them to exit out of) There, see? 

  I think it's about time to explain to you how and why Speedy is able to do such mind numbing feats of durability and strength. You see, at the age of 9, poor little Speedy accidentally found himself stuck in a washing machine for an entire day, surviving simply on a day-old slice of pizza he had found in an old pair of pants of his. After that tragic event, Francis 'Speedy" Kadawasky discovered he had developed superhuman strength and invulnerability. 

EMILY: That still freaks me out whenever I see you do something like that. (She walks through the fence as if it were made of snakes)

GREG: You've seen him do that a billion times before Emi. 

EMILY: Doesn't mean I get used to it

SHELBY: (to speedy) You do realize how much property damage you cause all the time while doing this right? 

BAXTER: Oh lay off him Shelby, its just a fence. He's hulkbusted far far worse than that. 

EMILY: The more yapping, the less likely we'll get Speedys gamboy back.(she goes to the driver's side seat of the mustang and gets.) cmon blondie, cmon squirt, let's get this show on the road. 

MARIA: I call shotgun!

SHELBY: now wait a sec* (shelby starts to feel a sharp pain in her temples, a psychic attack she hasn't felt before. They young girl sways and faints down, luckily in the arms of Greg, Speedy quickly coming to her side.)

GREG: Shelby, are you okay? Is everything alright!?

SHELBY: I'm okay. Im fine. (She slowly gets back to her feet) just had a severely bad psychic attack. Whatevers possessing this school is somehow really really pissed and it seems like it's pissed at us.

SPEEDY: Us? Why us? We're just a bunch of lovable scamps!

SHELBY: I don't know why but I have a suspicion. (She turns to greg) Greg, stop by Aarons Music Shop while we're going to your place.

GREG: Aarons shop? But why? 

SHELBY: Just a hunch. Aarons got something I think will help us with the ghost.

I guess this is also a good time to explain Shelby's little attack right there. Well, truth be told, Shelby is a psychic, an extraordinarily powerful psychic, who's able to shoot mind bullets or make force fields, lift up wacky things and even read minds if she listens hard enough. No, she was not born as such, but was gifted due to an accident. You see, when Speedy fell into the washing machine at such a young age, Shelby, trying to save her brother, accidentally fell into the drying machine and survived for 8 entire hours, keeping her sanity by reciting the entirety of the H.M.S. Pentifor, figuring out how accurate her recital of the play was and reciting it again, trying to be more accurate than last time. 

Due to this tragic event, Shelby has developed high level psychic powers most charlatan performers would dream about. 

The gang splits in two parties, one in gregs Minivan while the other in Emily's Mustang. The high school stood ready for what was instore for it. 

Emilies mustang shows up between Maria and Baxter's places. The two leap out the passenger side doors and run to their respective homes. Emily stands besides her car and stares blankly at the two rushing into their houses. 

EMILY: Mom always liked lakes, that's why we moved here. Not like there's not a thousand lakes to live by....

Baxter runs up his stairs, pulls down the stairs to the attic and runs into his room. On the book shelf filled with comics, dirty mags and Books on grecian philosophy is the hilt to his fathers memento, a keepsake his mother gave him: an energy blade. 

He remembered when he was first gifted it and his stepfather, Carlos Gomez, decided he couldn't just have it without learning how to use it so took him to the best blademaster of all of Cuba.

(Flashback)

Baxter is panting, sweat dripping down his face and struggling to his feet. A thin blade slashes down beside him.

KABRANO: You did good to survive this long gringo, but it takes more than that to survive the trials and tribulations that lay before you. To wear a blade is to know a blade, and to know a blade is to be one with a blade and you know none of that martial marriage, at least not yet. (The blade swishes away from his face.) But you are lucky, for before you stand the best swordsman in all of Cuba (Baxter turns to look at his sword master: an anthropomorphic Goat in old colonial garbs.) The singing sword, the flamenco of the deadly dance itself, I, Kabrano Debergerac, la Bota Poderosa! And I, Kabrano debergerac, the singing sword himself, have decided that you shall be my newest pupil, due to the debt I owe your stepfather. One day your blade will be famous around the world but today you need to learn and train as extensively as possible! Stand up gringo and fight me like a man!

(ends flashback) 

Baxter makes his way downstairs and hauls ass out the front door. 

Maria looks through the three large bookcases filled to the brim with black leatherbound tombs of ill dispute. Using the light of a candle she looked around, bouncing on the heels of her feet.

MARIA: exorcism...exorcism...ghosts ghosts ghosts.....Mom!! Do we have any grimoires on exercising ghosts?

Like a whisp floating on the winds, a tall bewitching lady with long silky black hair and pale skin comes wafting into the room. 

ANGELICA: What is it you wish for my beloved daughter?

MARIA: looking for a book on exorcism and possession. I can't find one and I know we have one, Dad and uncle Hector were talking about it a few weeks back. 

ANGELICA: ah, I believe you are thinking about (a black tomb with the pearl white skull emblazon on the cover.) Danza de los muertos, a very arcane and valuable tomb of mighty power. Use it wisely my little Fresa. 

MARIA: don't call me that! (she grabs the book and starts running out of the house.) probably be late for dinner, don't wait up for me! 

Both Maria and Baxter run out of their houses at the same time and head towards the car, Emily looking annoyed to say the least.

EMILY: easy with the doors twerps, this is my brother's car. Please be careful.

BAXTER: Actually, ya bring up a good point, think we can ask Dillon for some help?

EMILY: Dillon? Oh no, last time he came to help you guys out he was transformed into an octopus! 

MARIA: Well I told him to watch out for the backdraft didn't I?

EMILY: doesn't change the fact that he had eight arms for two weeks. 

BAXTER: Either way, I'd like to see if he can at least give us some form of help Emi. 

EMILY: *sigh* fine but I doubt he'll be that thrilled to help out. He still talks about what it felt like having a beak.

Greg, Shelby and Speedy find themselves in front of Greg's luxury house: three stories tall with golden lions guarding the home. It was the richest looking house in the Cul-De-Sac, specifically to house the cities greatest superhero

  As the three of them enter the living room they find Greg's father sitting on the sofa, smoking jacket on even though he never smoked.

HUGO: oh, Gregory! You seem to be home early today. Why, if it isn't little Francis and Shelby with you! Did you by chance tell your dad about our little cookout in two weeks? I haven't seen your parents in such a long time.

SHELBY: Told my dad about it. Didn't seem too thrilled though. 

HUGO: I'd figure so. Ya know, I never knew how he got the money for that dirigible. 

GREG: Dad, sorry but we don't have that much time to talk about that right now. Do you have any books or scrolls about exercising ghosts? We need to get rid of the ones haunting the school.

HUGO: hmm, I believe I do actually. ( Hugo turns to the bookcase and pulls down on the candlestick, activating the bookcase to slowly slide back to reveal a glass case filled with oddities and weird weapons.) let's see. possession.....extraction....imbuing...Ahha! Exorcism! ( he pulls out an old cracked leather bound book and hands it to Greg.) Just so you know, this'll only work on european and latin ghosts. I don't know how it'll do on asian ones. 

GREG: Thanks a ton dad! We really need it! (they start to head back out of the house.)

HUGO: hold on there boy. (he kicks off his slipper.) Are you genuinely fighting a haunting? 

GREG: Well, yeah. The school's been haunted for a while now. 

HUGO: Huh, I thought we got that fixed at the last PTA meeting. But, If you're genuinely going after a haunting, we need to see if you have what it takes to tangle against a haunted school. (Hugo schmidt starts heading to the backyard)

GREG: Dad! Not now! We got important things to do!

HUGO: no buts boy, backyard! Now!

Greg sighs and proceeds to the back yard, Speedy and Shelby following, interested in watching a fight against the two. Greg's dad takes off his smoking jacket and stares his son down.

GREG: Dad, do we really gotta do this? Speedy and Shelby are watching. 

  Hugo doesn't answer but simply stances, a wild blaze of electricity trailing about him in a fury. Greg rolls his eyes and stances as well, the same blaze of electric lights and currents flowing about him. Hugo Schmidt hollars and leaps into the air in a dragon kick, Greg dodges with relative ease and countering with a punch to the stomach. His father, anticipating the move, cartwheels out of the way and unleashes a horizontal chop, throwing a blazing eclectic wave of energy at his son. 

  Greg does a patented neo dodge but is confronted by his father in a flurry of dazzling lightning-imbed punches. Greg blocks each one and goes for a roundhouse kick, which his father dodges and counters with a head kick, which Greg blocks with his forearm. They continue with their sparring until Hugo throws Greg over his shoulder and goes for a downward thrust punch on his laying defenseless, which stops inches from his face. 

  Hugo pulls back and stands up, allowing Greg to get to his feet. Hugo nods approvingly as Greg dusts himself off.

HUGO: You have shown great improvement in your electric karate Greg. you are still rough around the edges and you have quite a long way to go before you are truly skilled. But, for right now, though, it's good enough. ( he pulls his smoking jacket back on) you may go, my son. Take care. Give that haunting a deck in the face for me.

Speedy, Shelby and Greg walk back to the van

GREG: frickin finally. 

SHELBY: (getting in the passenger side seat in a hurry.) Remember we need to stop at Mr.Smith's place. 

GREG: I don't know Shelb, (gets into the driver side seat and buckles up.) last time he came with us he wasn't what you'd call thrilled with the experience.

SHELBY: He has something that might prove a hunch I have.

SPEEDY: Prove what? 

SHELBY: Why the ghost hates us so much. 

  Emily's car slowly drives up to a neon lit mechanic shop working late in the day. As the mustang approaches the garage, a grease monkey slides out from.under a toyota and stands up, wiping the grease from.his hands. His shaggy black hair, soul patch and piercings show the dysfunctional family resemblance between him and Emily. 

DILLON: hey M, your home early, thought you were going out with the tykes to chuck racoons at cars or something.

EMILY: you're probably not gonna be happy with me. 

Baster and Maria pop out of the car. It takes Dillon a few seconds to realize whats happening and a sheer wave of terror and horror covers his face.

DILLON: oh no, please no, not again! I still have nightmares about last time.

MARIA: Oh shut up about that! That was, like, six years ago. I'm a lot better now.

DILLON: Easy for you to say, you never felt what it's like to have a beak!

BAXTER: Come on, you're Dr. Scuzzybums best student, you know how to check for that echo plasma shit better than most other people. We're gonna need your doohickey knowledge. 

DILLON: ecto what? What doohickeys are you talking about?

BAXTER: The high schools haunted.

DILLON: Yeah, so?

BAXTER: It stole Speedys Switch and he was at the final boss in Eternal Fantasy 8, right at Azileth!

DILLON: oh? All you gotta do is use Cure-all each turn then keep having Hakato use dirge swipe. 

BAXTER: Holy crap I didn't even think about that!

MARIA: It's all in vain if we don't get the game boy back!

DILLON: Why don't you just buy another Switch and a copy of the game? 

BAXTER: you don't understand; it's a limited edition Zelda plated game boy! You can't replace it!

DILLON: oh, well that changes everything.

BAXTER: really? 

DILLON: no. 

MARIA: oh come on, we just need you to find where the spirit is, I'll be incharge of everything else. 

DILLON: (sighs) hold on, i'll be right back. (he goes into the junk shop, leaving them for a few moments. Emily rolls her eyes, Baxter scratches his ears, Maria looks at her fingernails Dillon finally comes back with a little handheld device, something which looks like a hand mirror.) here. It's a heat signature location device. It should be able to detect where and when any paranormal activities are. Now leave me alone, I don't wanna be an octopus again. 

BAXTER: Oh kickass! It's a PKEmeter from ghostbusters!

DILLON: It's not the PKEmeter from ghostbusters! 

BAXTER: oh, phssh, it's the PKEmeter, ya knocked it off.

DILLON: Fine, whatever. Just take it and go. You have no idea how it feels to have extra arms and I don't want to feel that ever again. 

 Musical instruments of all shape and deisgn line the music shop owned by thr man trying desperately to give guitar lessons to a young ten year old who just heard his first metal album. He was a tall black man with weight growing in his midsection dressed in black, much like his idol Johnny Cash, with short cropped hair and short cut beard and mustache. 

AARON: Listen kenny, before you can thrash, you need to know how to play. You need to learn your notes, you need to learn your instrument and you need to learn some discipline to do that.. 

The shaggy haired teen stared at his teacher with the wooden guitar in his lap. 

KENNY: I wanted to learn electric guitar. Why do I have to learn this old wooden cowboy shit?

AARON: because if you get good at that, you'll get good at the other. Electric guitars are expensive and I've seen enough young kids sink money trying to start their garage punk band and fail in the first month because they don't know what they're doing. 

KENNY: starting to wonder if you even know how to play honestly. 

Aaron stares at the young man with a leveled gaze then turns around, placing the guitar on the counter and walks into the backroom. No more than ten minutes later he comes out with an electric guitar and speaker. 

  Plugging in both speaker and guitar, he fiddles with the wires before he shreds infront of the kid, playing at an exceptional impressive rate of different notes and sounds. As he finishes, he places the guitar on the speaker and regards Kenny, who stares wide eyed and slack jawed. 

AARON: Any questions about my performance? Personally, I think I was spotting on some notes. 

The door to the shop slams open as Shelby, Greg and Speedy come charging in. 

SHELBY: Mr. Smith! 

AARON:(standing up surprised and confused) Shelby what are you doing? Shouldn't you be in school? (Turns to Greg) see you're looking healthy Greg. (Turns to Speedy) Speedy, don't try to eat the recorders

SPEEDY: I only did it once and you have to admit, they do look like Toblerones. 

SHELBY: Mr.Smith, do you have his Fiddle? 

AARON: Fiddle? (He looks confused at the kids til it dawned on him what she was asking for) why would you want his Fiddle? 

SHELBY: It's important. To prove a hunch of mine. 

Aaron stares at the determined faces of the three of them and nods, turning back once again into the backroom. Inside he pulls out his set of shop keys and opens a safe where the black and red case of a fiddle sat. His hands grip the neck as if the instrument was poison to the touch and walks back to the front. 

AARON: The bastard was always fond of ironic humor. (He hands the fiddle to Shelby) why do you want it?

SHELBY: The schools haunted. 

AARON: Still? Thought that was fixed at the last PTA meeting? 

SHELBY: no, its still haunted and I think the ghost is aiming after us personally. 

GREG: Are you sure shelb? 

SHELBY: this (holding the Fiddle in her hand) will prove me right or wrong. Lets get going (she turns back to Aaron) thank you Mr. Smith. 

The three start heading out the door. 

AARON: Hey! Wait a second! (He runs into the back, grabbing his long rimmed hat and personal guitar out of his office before walking up to the gang) I'm not going to sit here and let you guys run off and fight some stupid ghost on your own. 

GREG: Aaron, we cant guarentee you'll be face.

AARON: I'm a fullgrown man damnit and if I want to head into sure death with you dimwits, thats my right. No way am I letting my star pupil put her life at risk and do nothing about it. 

SHELBY: (blushing slightly and smiling) thank you Mr. Smith. 

AARON: told you before Shelby, should start calling me Aaron. 

 The four of them exit the music shop, Aaron flipping the sign from open to close while walking out the door, and make it towards the Minivan. 

AARON: Why do this now of all times? 

SPEEDY: It stole my Switch, right when I was up to Azileth! 

AARON: Wait, we're fighting a ghost because he stole your gameboy? 

SPEEDY: It's not a gameboy, it's a Switch and it have a limited edition Zelda Plating on it. 

AARON: Oh, well, that changes everything. 

SPEEDY: Really? 

AARON: No.

–-----------------

Horror lake high school looms over the skyline like an inert force of dark power irradiating across the skyline like some inert force of dark power. Both Emily's car and Greg's car come up at the same time. The gang exit out of the cars in unison.

GREG: Alright gang, is everybody prepared for the coming storm? 

MARIA: I got what I could. (She pulls the ancient pagan tomb out from inside her hat) I brought some totems that could be beneficial but I can't make any guarantees. (She notices Aaron with Greg and Shelby) Hi Mr.Smith! Why are you here?

AARON: Not going to sit on the sidelines while you kids rush into certain door. 

EMILY: Oh, what are you gonna do against a ghost? Bonk him on the head with your guitar like that cartoon donkey? 

AARON: 1, that was Quickdraw McGraw and he was a horse. 2, I'm here to help as much as possible seeing I'm the only responsible adult around here and 3, little miss, what can you do? 

EMILY: Easy (emily opens her purse and pulls out a revolver) I got a gun. 

AARON: A gun. A gun against a ghost. 

EMILY: (shrugs) better than a guitar. 

SHELBY: will you two stop fighting for a second? (She holds the fiddle in her left hand and raises her right to her temple)

GREG: can you sense what the ghosts thinking?

SHELBY: kind of. It's chaotic, malignant, and angry beyond measure but there's one thing I definitely know about it: it's mad at us. 

SPEEDY: Mad at us? Why? 

SHELBY: I think I know why but…..(she then places the fiddle on the ground, where the haunted school could sense it. The instrument writhes and twisted, broke and shattered into small shards. Shelby sighs and closes her eyes) I knew it. (She turns to the gang) it can sense Devil on us. 

A dramatic thunderclap with flickering lights echoes around the gang at that revelation. 

Off to the side there are three kids with a large sheet of metal and some flickering flashlight.

MR.THORNEWILL: Yes, yes, these will be perfect for the school rendition of Moby dick! (They pick up their thunderstorm supplies and walk away.)

EMILY: Devil, Baxter's big brother? 

SHELBY: Yeah. The blight of Horror Lake. He attended this school once and I think it has a vendetta against him.

SPEEDY: Devil!? Why would it be mad at us if it's mad at Devil? He's long gone now. 

SHELBY: remember Speedy, we don't remember it but we were all there when he got to the lake that….that day. It can sense our connection to him, our past relations and it's not happy about it. Whatever happened, Devil did something extraordinarily bad to him. 

BAXTER: Should I stay back in this one?If it's got a beef with (his name struggles to come out, cold sweat beads on his brow. Maria places a reassuring hand on his shoulder) with him, I don't think it'll be fine with me waddling about in his innards.

SHELBY: I don't think it matters at this point. It already knows we're here and it's aiming at hurting us. I think I was the trigger, being with you guys and, ya know, our relationship with Devil must have made him grab the game boy to lure us out, to get at us. (she turns back to the gang.) so, this ones gonna be a big one. Everyone ready?

Everyone nods solemnly, ready for the encounter ahead. Slowly the gang turns to Emily. 

EMILY: (realizes what their stares meant and starts shaking her head violently) Oh, nononononono! I'm not going in there with you guys, last time I went on some stupid wacky adventure with you kids I almost got eaten by giant ants!

MARIA: Well, are there any ants here? No? Then stop worrying.

AARON: I'm going in with a Guitar for godsakes little miss 'be-prepared'.

EMILY: It was a rhetorical scenario. 

BAXTER: Emi, if you stay out here for too long, someone could spot you or you could get hurt. Just stick close to us and you'll be fine. 

GREG: aw, look. Bax is being a gentleman for once.

BAXTER: (whispering into his ears) shut up! This is how you keep women from going hysterical when shit goes down!

SPEEDY: Come on guys, the more time we waste, the more power is drained from my switch and I'll have to start at my last save point!

AARON: (shaking his head incredulously) this better be one hell of a Game Boy. 

MARIA: It is! Its a limited edition Zelda one!

  Speedy shatters the chains locking the front gates of the high school and the gang then proceed into the haunted grounds of Horror Lake high school. 

  Greg and Maria both pulled out their tombs of the arcane, Baxter with the pke meter in one hand while holding his swords hilt in the other, Shelby keeping her left hands fingertips on her forehead with Speedy right by her side keeping a lookout with Emily and Aaron in the middle, her with her gun and him with his guitar. 

  The halls were dark and barren while they slowly crept down, exploring and trying to find the nexus of the haunt. 

GREG: From what I can gather this haunting seems to be particularly exasperated and the spirit itself might have some sort of extraordinary origins to it. 

SPEEDY: dwuaah? 

GREG: It's mad Speedy, mad and might not be an ordinary ghost. 

BAXTER: the meters leading me down this hall. I think the nexus might be in the basement.

MARIA: the boiler room?

BAXTER: Where else?

   That's when the school decides to do something about that. A hole opens up suddenly under Emily, her scream echoing as she falls down, only her fingers gripping the floorboards. The gang turned automatically to pull her up, beneath Emily wasn't the floor below but a violet swirling vortex of dark clouds and evil miasma. Speedy charges towards her but is soon thwarted as a row of lockers open their doors, vicious fangs framing the inside of them with long swirling tentacles wrapping around the young man's arms and legs and hauling him away. 

  The doors to the history class open up as shrill laughter echoes the halls. A thousand eyes, red as blood, look out at the gang. Shelby turns to the lockers and uses a volley of mind blasts to shatter the lockers to pieces, dropping Speedy to the ground. The young spikey haired man quickly gets up and lunges towards the gaping hole, pushing both the struggling Greg, Aaron and Baxter out of the way and easily hauling the screaming Emily out the the vortex. They all fall into a tumble together on the floor.

EMILY: I knew shit like this was gonna happen!!

  Down the hall, a giant dark fin smashes through the floorboards, like a giant shark. As they all turn to look at it, it raises further up, splintering more wood about, two extra fins popping out at the sides as the bump of the head emerges from the ground, showing five disgusting eyes as ghoulish laughter echoes. 

SPEEDY: ah, crud. 

  The beast starts charging at them with a quickening pace. Maria shoves her hand into her small purse and pulls out a tiny figurine in the shape of a human skull decorated in filigrees.

MARIA: (she pulls her broom out from within the depths of her hat and holds it aloft, using it as a wand as five golden points of light emerge about. Air starts to concentrate around her, billowing her gown and sleeves.) La vida es como un huracán aquí en Duckburg, Autos de carreras, láseres, aviones, ¡es un pato borroso! Podría resolver un misterio ¡O reescribir la historia! ¡Cuentos de pato! Woohoo!!

  At the exclamation of her chant, five intense fires, one blue one white one yellow one red and one black, shoot forth and engulf the beast racing towards them. The beast howls and screams in pain as the flames eat it away. Within seconds the flames die down and all that remains is the ashes and burnt charcoal. Maria leaps into the air.

MARIA: Woohoo! Did y'all see how badass that was? Haha! (she starts doing a little victory dance) ~I am great, you all suck~ I am great, you all suck~

GREG: we're not out of the woods yet Maria. We still need to find the nexus, and I'm sure the closer we get to the nexus, the worse all this is gonna get. 

  They proceed, being led by Baxter's knockoff PKEmeter as they found themselves in one hell of a predicament; they had to go down either the stairs or use the elevator. 

MARIA: ah shit, what the hell are we gonna do!? This damn school is probably expecting us to be a bunch of slack jawed rubes and use the stairs and get gobbled up. 

GREG: (to Shelby) are you sensing anything from the spirit?

SHELBY: the closer we get, the more complex and hard it is to decipher its thoughts but it certainly is expecting us to use either the stairs or the elevator. (to everyone else) anyone got any plans? 

AARON: How about we get a rope, tie it to the banister and* 

Without warning speedy punched a huge hole through the floor, leading to the lower floor. 

AARON: Nevermind.

GREG: Well, that works. 

They gather around the opened up hole in the ground. 

BAXTER: So how are we gonna plan this out? (to Shelby and Greg) want us all to go or just a few? 

SHELBY: Emily, Mr. Smith, I want you to stay here while we go down okay?

EMILY: What!? Are you crazy!? I'm not staying up in this fucking place! Some weird tentacle thing will come out of the woodwork and assault me!!

BAXTER: (with his fists on his hips) Oh, I thought when you returned it to me you said you didn't watch such weird virgin crap.

MARIA: What crap?

EMILY: (shrugs) I was bored. (to Shelby) I'm not staying up here by myself Shelb, I'd rather hedge my bets with you guys under there. 

AARON: I didn't come all this way just to stay up here Shelby. I don't care what's down there and what you say about it, I'm going. 

SHELBY: Fine Mr. Smith (turning to Maria) Maria, mind staying with Emi while we explode the basement? If we need you I'll send you a psychic urge okay?

MARIA: No prob bob. (she walks up beside Emily) we'll just sit here and paint our fingernails and talk about boys! (to Emily) how does that sound? (Emily groans) 

SPEEDY: well, with all that settled, lets*

  The balance beam of the stairway comes to life, a giant snake, split down its length with a hideous fanged mouth charges at Emily, who screams a magnificent starlet's scream. Baxter leaps in a somersault in front of Emily and ignite his blade of pure energy. With deft skill and lightning fast reflexes he slices the beam into small quivering pieces. 

BAXTER: (turning off the sword and turning to Emily) you alright? Not hurt or anything

EMILY: (her eyes big and bulging) Yeah, I'm good. Somewhat. 

SPEEDY: Well, like I was saying. With all that settled * 

  A giant brown clawed hand reaches out of the hole and grabs Speedy by the throat and hauls him down into the dark basement. Without second thought Greg, Shelby, Aaron and Baxter leap down the dark hole in pursuit. 

EMILY: All I wanted to do was play with some fireworks. 

MARIA: Now we get to beat up a ghost AND play with fireworks!! 

  Down in the dark depths where the gym supplies and old hand-me-down history books are kept to rot away, the four look about the dark empty halls. 

GREG: I can't see shit down here.

AARON: hold on, I got a lighter (he flicks three times before a light stays, showing the numerous monstrous creatures surrounding them. Aaron lets the light go off.) We all saw that right?

BAXTER: no shit, we all saw it. 

  The crackling electric currents around the air starts to shimmer and shape around Greg's body as he starts to harness his electric karate. 

GREG: Shelby! Shield you guys right now!!

Shelby shields the three of them with her psychic shield as Greg yells and unleashes his kiai in a spherical discharge, shocking and toasting all the demon dregs into crispy bits. As the smoke clears, Shelby lets the psi shield down.

GREG: honestly didn't know if that was going to work or not. 

AARON: What did I tell you about using tricks you're not sure about around me?

BAXTER: Let's get the hell out of here and start covering some ground. If we're lucky, Speedy's Switch went to sleep mode but who knows if this bastard ghost is playing it or not. 

SHELBY: you're still hung up on the damn game boy!? My brother has been kidnapped by some mad ghost and the only thing you can think about is some game boy?

BAXTER: 'just some game boy'!? Women, limited edition Zelda plated Switch!!

  Shelby rolls her eyes and the two exit the room, using Baxter's blade as a light source. The hall outside was a thing of nightmares; walls covered in the pink pulsing flesh of the living, giving off phosphorescent light. Human bodies, skinned and writhing, were one with the walls and decorations for the hallway. 

  Baxter pulled out the pkemeter and surveyed the surroundings with it. The dinging started to get more frequent as he turned to the left. 

BAXTER: I think the nexus is over there.

SHELBY: so over there should be the heart of the haunting and, hopefully, Speedy. 

AARON: hopefully in one piece. 

BAXTER: and Speedys Switch

SHELBY: Quite it abou* (she stopped then, her head filled with such a surge of anger, rage and malcontent that Shelby swooned and fainted, caught by Greg.) 

   He wandered, ever since he was born all he ever did was wander these perpetual halls, a maze of such size that you would get lost for years within its halls. He was filled with rage and anger for his predicament. Conceived due to a curse sent by the vengeful god of the oceans, Poseidon, he was the marriage of man and beast, his mind just as much bison as it was man and its influence routed his mind of all coherent thought. He wanted to eat, to rip and sunder with his jaw, to saunter across the sky and feel the sun's brightness and to have a mate which would never exist since he was the only one of his kind. His existence within these endless halls and dark dead sky was a life of torment and torture. Then that torment was finished, by a brave king of Athens who sliced his bovine head from his mans body.

  Centuries later,  his spirit, spiteful and merciless, dwelled in the head as it was handed down from rich parishioner to wealthy patrician. Each home he dwelled in he made the worse for those who possessed his severed skull. Their lives were filled with the living nightmares of horror inflicted by his vengeful spirit. His head traveled, from europe to asia to asia minor and finally finding himself in the grips of a place known as horror lake. There he was buried, deep in the historic archives of its high school where its spirit shackled in those dark halls which reminded him of his old home. 

  Then, one day, as he slumbered his endless half-life, a man appeared. A young man who was born from the dark magics and evil abomination even his cursebearer of the oceans couldn't even confront. As this dark and powerful man lived in his dwelling, he made his presence known, a challenge declared by one cursed soul against another and, in its results, this young man of dark origins made the vengeful spirit bend, whelping, whimpering, in defeat and retreat. The worst part, the revelation which ate at his mind like a virus, was the fact that he knew the young dark man didn't even use anywhere near his full power in their confrontation. 

  In that rage, that impotent rage at being defeated so thoroughly, he craved life again so much that it started binding flesh and bone and muscle back to his being to once again walk among those which live and battle that young dark man once again. 

AARON:.....shelby.....shelby.....no Bax, I don't want a part of your slim jim....SHELBY!!

Shelby started awake in a startled rush. She was on the ground, in Gregs arms while Aaron knelt besides her.  Baxter just stood, eating a strip of beef jerky. 

BAXTER: welp, polly pockets awake.

Shelby sat up, disengaging from Gregs arms with a look of understanding

SHELBY: We're not fighting any ordinary ghosts here. (Baxter, Aaron and Greg look at Shelby inquisitively) it's the ghost of a minotaur.

Maria and Emily slowly slink around the corner of the school, the much taller Emily shrinking behind the tiny Maria as a shield against any haunted happenings. 

MARIA: The snack machines should be just around the corner.

EMILY: Are you sure? Positive? Last time I was here the machines were over by the bathrooms.

MARIA: yeah, well, that's where the kids who smoked in school went and Principle Haberman felt that their bad influence was seeping into the vending machine snacks. 

EMILY: That sounds something stupid enough to come out of his dumb mouth. Oh! There it is! 

The two of them quickly shuffle over to the vending machines. Emily, bracing Marias shoulders with a life or death vice grip, lightly kicked the vending machine and flinched back. Nothing happened. 

MARIA: It's okay. For some reason the ghost can't possess the vending machine. (Maria walks over to the soda machine, the big label "Dobsey cola" labeled on the front of the machine. Maria slaps about her dress, then checks her small purse.) Ack! I didn't bring any money.

EMILY: Oh money shmoney, watch this. (rolling up the sleeves of her flannel overshirt and slid her arm through the bottom lift) I learned this at a Gorgoroth concert when they toured over here not that long ago. Ex-boyfriend at the time showed me when he didn't want to pay $7 for a butterfinger. the difference is, though, he was half Icelandic and had super long skinny arms like some sort of hairless gibbon and I'm far more petite than his hairy butt so let's see what I can do. Easy....easy...easy.....he always made it look so simple. hey!(a look of triumph) Hey, I think I got something! (Triumph turns to concern) it's fuzzy. (concern transforms into horror) Aaaah! AAAAAH! Rat! Rat! It's a rat!! (Emily rolls away and stands back up, a shiver of disgust goes through her body.)

MARIA: welp, that didn't work. (she thinks for a few seconds before the light comes on and she lifts her finger up with a yelp of "ahha!" and proceeds to shuffle into her purse.) Why didn't I think of it earlier? (she pulls out a small little figure of a head with long shaggy hair, as detailed and intricate as the skull before) Son los niños de Tom y Jerry, Tiene que estar allí donde está toda la acción. (a small shock of electricity short circuits the machine and unleashes a plethora of junk food and sodie pop.) 

  Greg rapidly shifts through the pages of his ancient tomb on spirits from beyond the grave looking on how to combat ghosts of supernatural assailants as the three of them proceed deeper into the horror of the underground vaults

BAXTER: A minotaur!? Didn't they go extinct?

SHELBY: they didn't go extinct ya idiot, there was only one of them and it died long ago. This is the very same one killed by theseus. 

AARON: The one in the labyrinth!? The one Theseus killed!? I thought it was just a story.

GREG: Aaron, you should know by now from hanging out with us to realize theres truth in almost every story. Either way, let's keep up the search, who knows how long it's going to take to find this old severed head. 

  As they turn the corner and find a large man in his mid 50s with a fu manchu sitting in a rocking chair reading a dirty mag. He looks up at them briefly before going back to his copy of funbags

GREG: Um, hello good sir, who might you be? 

JIMBO: names Jimbo, the janitor. I keep the place running

GREG: Well, I've never seen you before.

JIMBO: Most people haven't.

SHELBY:I know this sounds like a really stupid question and all but have you seen a guy about our age as well as a severed bulls head or skull? 

JIMBO: Oh yeah, he's right there. (Points directly across from him is the writhing pulsating skull of the minotaur, slowly growing back its flesh over its bones with Speedy stuck within the wall covered in pink flesh and purple veins, beating with a heart beat.) 

SPEEDY: wassup guys

SHELBY: Speedy! (She runs over to her big brother stuck in the wall) are you alright? You're not hurt, are you? 

SPEEDY: nah just feel oddly squishy. 

  Baxter pulls out his energy blade and starts carving around speedys body to free him from the wall.

AARON: (to jimbo.) You knew about this minotaur's head but didn't do anything about it? 

JIMBO: But I do do something about it. (Jimbo puts his nudie rag to the side and starts poking the skull with a broom) whenever it starts to act up, I just poke it with this broom and he calms down. Finicky little guy, he is. 

  Baxter cuts a large portion of the fleshy wall away from Speedy, puts his blade away and tries to pull him out of the inner crevice. 

BAXTER: Hold on Speedy, I'll get you out in..OW! (he pulls his hand away, which has begun to bleed badly.) damn nail or something cut my hand. 

  With the blood leaking into the wall, the fleshy walls which just drank the blood of the brother of the man he wished to kill, the eyes of the minotaurs skull started to glow profusely and to shake. Flesh starts to writhe around the skull, forming flesh and tendons on the skull.

GREG: Uh oh. 

JIMBO: hold on, Imma gonna get it. ( he starts poking the minotaurs skull with his broom handle, until a left arm rips out from within the walls and grabs the broom.) ah nuts. 

  The minotaur, a body nearly fully formed except its skin, starts ripping itself free from the shackles of the wall, Shelby and the gang screaming in utter horror and fear for what's taking place before them. Aaron, in his moment of brilliance, slams his guitar, still in its case, directly into the minotaurs head. The minotaur looked uneffected. 

AARON: Don't let Emily know about this. 

GREG: We'll tell her it died a tragic death.

BAXTER: What the hell do we do!? 

SHELBY: Run!!

  That they did. They ran just as the giant behemoth frees itself completely from its confines. The first thing it does once free is charge at the only thing it could consider a friend for the last few years: jimbo.

JIMBO: (reading his nudey magazine, not caring about the charge.) eh, I'll die exactly how I lived.

  Shelby and the gang are far down the hall when they overhear the charge and following slam into the wall. Soon behind them, the minotaur comes in pursuit of the four teenagers with attitude and their ineffective moral guardian as it charges with its full strength. 

SHELBY: This isn't gonna work! We'll lose stamina before he does!

BAXTER: no shit Shelby, what the hell else can we do?

AARON: Talk to it!?

GREG: Aaron….

AARON: Hey, at least I'm trying!

SHELBY: I got a plan!

BAXTER: You always have a plan.

  The minotaur charges and springs around the corner of the dark basement halls to find them standing at the end of the corridor. His rage was wild and he craved human flesh earned by rending. He stamps his left foot. 

SPEEDY: Are you sure this'll work?

SHELBY: it's either this or eaten by a minotaur zombie. Everyone ready? 

The minotaur charges, its blind fury overwhelming, his hooves shattering the floor and spraying the stones and rubble about. He was no more than inches away from the gang.

SHELBY: Now!!!

Shelby ignites her psychic shield the instant of impact while Greg surrounds the sphere with an electric current. The minotaur bounces off of the shield, getting shocked by the harsh electric current. As soon as the shield falls, Speedy delivers a tremendous uppercut to the minotaurs face, slamming it above them into the first floor.

SPEEDY: (slapping his hands) Well, that takes care of that. Let's go find my Switch!

SHELBY: Speedy, we have more pressing matter than your stupid game boy!

BAXTER: Yeah, like beating the game, which reminds me. (turns to Speedy) so Emis brother told me about a fantastic strategy of beating the final boss. Ya see, all you gotta do is....(he has a revelation on the situation) oh shit, we just knocked the minotaur upstairs with Emi and Maria.

  Upstairs Maria and Emily are sitting on the floor munching and drinking their spoils, Maria crossed legged (scandalous) while Emily lounges with one leg straight out with one bent, eating from their little diabetic treasure troves. 

EMILY: (popping open a Dr. pepper) still kinda surprising no one ever troubled you about your magic or anything. People used to burn people who said the earth revolves around the sun as witches, and nowadays there's a literal witch and they seem to be perfectly fine with it.

MARIA: eh, what they think were witches aren't what witches really are.

EMILY: I know, there's a sorority at the college I*

MARIA: those aren't real witches either. Those are lilith fair lesbians in birkenstocks dancing naked at the full moon. Trust me, I've never danced naked at the full moon. A witch is just the female term for a wizard. The magic wizards use is the same as we, it's just the term that's different. 

EMILY: so you don't worship some mother goddess and some horn god with some weird mother/son incest relationship?

MARIA: pfffs. I'm Episcapalian. All that's different between a regular person and a magic user is simply magic. 

EMILY: So witches were not turning cows infertile or making hail storms and shit? 

MARIA: oh, they did, those kinds of witches existed, but they were just asshole witches. Everything has assholes in it. 

EMILY: *shrugs* thinks that's with most things. Everyone shits their pants.

MARIA: huh? 

EMILY: something my mom used to say. No matter if they're an actor or a rock star or a scientist, they all once in their lives shit their pants. 

Down the hall they suddenly heard the heavy footfalls and turned to see the giant form of the minotaur staring down at them, its flesh half formed on his body, organs and tendons still exposed. 

MARIA: I think your mom had a point.

EMILY: What do we do?

MARIA: Patented plan B. RUN!!!

  The two quickly get up and start running and screaming, the minotaur in heavy pursuit as they charge away, dipping around corners, the minotaur smashing into said corners and turning them into powdery ash. 

EMILY: Could have babysat the Skyler twins down the street six years ago but nope! Had to get entangled with you twerps!!

MARIA: Hold on, I got a plan! (pulls out a bag of gumballs and, while running, rips them open and lets them fall to the ground, hoping to trip up the zombie minotaur. The minotaur runs through the gumballs with ease.) okay, that was a bad plan

EMILY: the mystic arts and all inbetween at your fingertips and your great idea was home alone level hijinks!? 

MARIA: I'm panicking! I don't think well while in a pickle!! (that's when the lightbulb comes on in her head and she rummages through her purse, pulling out a whistle in the shape of a large foreboding hound.) got an idea but it might backfire. 

EMILY: great! Backfire how!? 

MARIA: Summoning a beast of great and immense power, an ancient power from the dawn of time. I've never done it before and I don't know if I can control it once he's summoned. 

EMILY: it's either that or get smooshed by the beastboy here! 

MARIA: (looks concerned but commences) Despiértame antes de que te vayas, No me dejes colgado como un yo-yo. Despiértame antes de que te vayas, No quiero perderme cuando llegues tan alto. Despiértame antes de que te vayas, Porque no estoy planeando ir solo. Despiértame antes de que te vayas, Llévame a bailar esta noche, Quiero llegar tan alto, sí, sí. (she lifts the totem to her lips and blows it like a whistle, which sounds off as a low rumbling growl)

  Miles away, in the plains and wilderness where man barely tread, a hound of immense savage and primordial power turns its head towards the direction of the whistle. In a blitz of light, it charges towards the signal, the earth tearing in its wild dash forward. 

  Baxter, Shelby, Speedy, Aaron and Greg run up the stairs to the top floor, scanning for their friends' whereabouts.

GREG: They couldn't have gone far, the damn thing just jumped up here no more than a few minutes ago. Shelb, scan to find where they are. (Shelby puts her right hand up to her forehead before she hears the screams) 

EMILY: (in the distance) Duck you moron!

MARIA: (also In the distance) I am ducking ya lumberjack!

  The minotaur roars in frustration and the sound of smashed walls echoes through the halls.

AARON: No need. Think we found them. (they rush to meet up with their friends.) 

  Maria and Emily run into a classroom and slam the doors shut, Emily trying to push the teacher's desk up to the doors when the Minotaur smashes through the walls right beside them.

EMILY: Oh yeah. 

  The two run out of the classroom in a rush, the minotaur following suit, smashing through the walls again and giving chase. 

  Outside the school, running at dazzling speeds, the beast of immense power rushes forward in mighty pursuit, finally finding itself upon the threshold of the school. The hound leaps through the front doors of Horror Lake high and reveals....a medium sized beagle.

ARFIE: bark bark bark!

  Outside the front doors a young boy and his father look at the mystical beast.

FARMER'S SON: Who's that daddy?

FARMER: Why, that there be Arfie the magic dog! He travels around the world, helping people with his magic powers!

  Shelby, Baxter and the gang chase down Emily and Maria, who are panting trying to catch their breath around a corner. 

MARIA: damn.....Big boy....got some cardio on him.....

EMILY: jeez....am I actually glad.....to see you for once....pantsuit.....blondie...

GREG: You guys alright? 

MARIA: big boy must have....been a star track n field runner.....just what the hell is that thing? 

SHELBY: It's a minotaur that came back to life with a puppet body.

MARIA: (comprehending what that means) to do something like that....would take an immense amount....of power....and magic.....dark magic...

SHELBY: (looks at Maria) and who do you think gave him that ability? (everyone starts to comprehend what that genuinely means.) When Baxter cut his hand downstairs, the blood of the same one who gave him the power to reform. 

BAXTER: ah shit! 

  That's when the zombie minotaur, roaring and raging, turned the corner and charged at our heroes. The gang, except Emily who only had nothing but a gun to help her, stanced for combat. Speedy, however, pushed himself forward, pushing them back.

SPEEDY: move along guys. I think if anyone here can handle this little horse man, it's me.

SHELBY: Speedy, do not underestimate that thing!

SPEEDY: What do you take me for? Some chump made out of chump-food? 

  The minotaur charged forward as Speedy does the same with a howl of adrenaline and power. The two collided, with speedy flying backwards and smashing into the geometry class wall.

SHELBY: I should have known that was gonna happen.

  The minotaur prepared to charge but was interrupted by a single bark. He turns to find a medium sized beagle standing behind him.

GREG: What's that?

MARIA: It's Arfie the magic dog, one of the twelve magical animals (Emily gives her a flat stare.)

  The minotaur charges at the beagle, preparing to flatten the dog. Instead, a golden aura surrounded the beagle and unleashed a blast of golden light at the minotaur, sending the minotaur flying into the same geometry class as speedy. Everyone except Maria stares at the magic dog with wonder and shock. 

  Speedy rises out of the rubble, shaking his head awake to clear it. Just as he does, he sees the horrible minotaur rising as well and staring at the young man. 

SPEEDY: yu-oh.

  The minotaur charges in a rush, trying to smash into Speedy but, luckily, speedy grips the minotaur's horns. In a struggle of strength, Speedy flips the minotaur in a foot flip, slamming the beast into the next room. Speedy leaps to his feet, charging through the hole and leaps on the recovering minotaur with a powerful left hook to the face. As the minotaur falls to the ground, Speedy starts pummeling the minotaur in the face with a flurry of punches. 

  The minotaur recovers, roars and grabs speedy by the waist and charges, slamming the young man through six separate walls and three separate classrooms. At the last, the beast grabs speedys leg and starts twirling the young man in a spin, circling him three times before letting go and throwing the young man, sailing through the air, smashing into the ladies bathroom. 

  Greg leaps in with an electric jump kick, hitting the beast straight in the face. As Greg lands, the beast reeling, he unleashes a flurry of electrified punches to the beast's chest before finishing with a magnificently charged spinning roundhouse back kick to his chest. 

  Baxter leaps into the air, his energy blade crackling, and goes into his deadly dance, slicing around its tendons. The beast could only brace himself from the onslaught, blocking the barrage with its forearms in a boxer's stance before the young man quickly changes strategies and directs his slashes at the beast's leg tendons, putting the beast onto his knees.

SHELBY: Heads up!!

  Baxter leaps back as Shelby unleashes a barrage of mind blasts that pushes the beast against the wall. The creature roars in defiance and spins its arms in a lariat, knocking both Baxter and Greg away and charges at Shelby. 

  Speedy, with a toilet seat around his neck, runs at the minotaur and hits him with a double dropkick to its face, toppling the charging minotaur. Speedy quickly grabs the beast in a headlock and tightens. The beast, enraged at this point to the brink, lets out a blood curdling roar and leaps into the air, smashing Speedy into the ceiling, loosening his grip and sliding down. 

  The minotaur scans his surroundings, to find another blast of golden light smashing into the side of his head. Arfie runs in a charge, frost gathering around his coat and unleashes a blast of a frosty cold gail winds which freezes the half man into an icy block.

ARFIE: bark bark bark bark!!

  Maria is surrounded by an indigo glow, her dress billows from the force of her spell she is about to summon. An aurora forms around her body. 

MARIA: Somos pequeños, somos tony, Todos estamos un poco locos. Y en este caricaturesco, Estamos invadiendo tu televisor!

  A violet blast of energy slams into the monster's chest, smashing him outside of the school itself. Maria sounds out a sigh of relief at the idea of the battle finally being done but then feels the actual foundation of the school itself shaking. Down below the monster is deliberately punching the school's walls, sending the upper stories falling in on each other and tumbling on top, one after the other. The shockwave shakes Emily out of the building, sliding out onto the courtyard, even though both Baxter and Greg leap forward to save her. 

BAXTER: Emilys down there with the freak! 

Speedy and Aaron leap out of the cavernous hole in the wall. Emily fell onto the earth, seemingly unhurt but with the minotaur slowly walking towards her, its breath coming out of his nostrils in steam. Speedy jumps down and slams into the back of the beast's head with his feet, dropping him into the earth. 

  Baxter leaps next into the sky, his blade angled downwards.

BAXTER: Heads up!!

  Speedy rolls out of the way as Baxter's blade slices deep into the beast's brain. The monster roars in defiance and bucks back its head, throwing Baxter off of him and into the air. 

  Emily shuffled backwards on her hands until an idea came to. Aaron comes to her rescue with a large heavy branch and sashes it across the back of the minotaurs head. Quickly she gets to her feet and runs to her car. 

  As the minotaur struggles back to its feet, Shelby leers down, gripping the ledge of the cavity in the school wall. She turns to the teachers desk and, using her telekinesis, flings the table onto the beast. With one blow from his hand, the table shatters and the minotaur looks about. 

  Greg gathers electricity into his cupped hands and unleashes a powerful electric hadouken onto the side of the monster's head. The impact totters him and he slams into the side of the school. His scrambling hands trying to find a grip to help balance him crumble the bricks and paint of the wall side and lessons the foundation even more. 

  As the creature rises up once again, Emily comes running, a bag in her right hand and a lighter in her left. She stops and lights a long single fuse sticking out of the bag. 

EMILY: Hey! Stableboy! (the beast turns his head to Emily and charges.) Chekhov's gun bitch! (she throws the bag of fireworks into the monster's face. The explosion is both tremendous and very spectacular. He writhes his arms about himself, hollering and screaming at the top of its lungs. The smoke settles about him and the huge beast slowly walks towards Emily, its nostrils flaring, the veins in its neck bulging.)

  Emily backs up, trembling in fear and shuffling about in her purse. Aaron tackles the Minutaur ineffectively from behind yet only enrages the creature even more and flings the music teacher to the side. Emily yells in defiance as her handgun, the only thing she has to protect herself, found a home in her hand and she whipped in infront of her. The beast continues to approach her, its arms stretched out. She fires a single shot at his head. The minotaur reels back and then falls down. Dead.

EMILY: (standing there for a moment before turning around, tossing the gun over her shoulder.) I give up. 

Shelby totters out of the rubble looking about at the destruction they had inevitably caused in the battle and the wounds they might have inflicted. 

SHELBY: Is everyone here? Anyone hurt? 

BAXTER: present. 

AARON: had better days honestly

GREG: Just got a bad headache is all. 

SPEEDY: my feet hurt and I think I got a blister on my upper lip. 

MARIA: Has anyone got any aspirin or an ibuprofen? 

ARFIE: Bark bark. (Maria gave the doggo a pet on the head.)

Emily sits under a nearby tree, her hair disheveled looking at the gang. 

EMILY: Welp, that was something. Can't say I miss this wacky shit. 

BAXTER: Oh come on, you know you enjoyed it. 

EMILY: (looking at Baxter, she splits a smile.) yeah, I guess I did kinda enjoy it. 

SHELBY: somehow I feel like we did more harm than good in this one.

SPEEDY: We sure did. I never found my Switch.!

  That's when Arfie walks up to Speedy with his game boy in his mouth and drops it onto the ground before him. 

BAXTER: Hey! The magic mutt found your Switch! You can finish the game finally!!

SPEEDY: YAY!! (he, Baxter, and Maria then go and start petting the little magic pooch while cooing about how much of a good boy he is.)

SHELBY: A game boy. (she crosses her arms in disbelief) we just foght a zombie minotaur which was haunting the school and nearly got ourselves killed all so my idiot brother can play some stupid game.

GREG: Shelb, you should be used to this by now. 

SHELBY: (kicking a rock with her shoe) I know, but it still drives me bonkers. 

GREG: Nothing we can do about that. So let's just sigh, relax, and watch as Speedy goes ahead and beats his game. 

  And so the gang gather together in a tight circle and watch as Speedy plays his game, the boss battle music playing as the electric glow of his game bathes them all. 

SPEEDY: Ah, shit. I lost.

SHELBY: goddamnit speedy.