I remember only darkness after I hit my head on the asphalt where it was slippery. I know that I was riding the bike too fast, without my helmet on. I felt a lot of worries that time if I should leave to drop by somewhere, but I know how to avoid accidents. Well, I guess I didn't.
I am here now in The Darkness, where I am aware that my spirit is floating. It felt like I am swimming but without water. No other things to reach, to hold, to even hear. Is this what it felt like when you are all alone?
I don't know because, unlike my brother, Karlos, who has a negative perspective on life, like shit, knows very much about being alone in the world. Sometimes, I could not stand his being too in the dark, or he opens up, he opens too much, like a kryptonite. I wouldn't blame his friends for leaving him like they're ghosts.
I have friends back in high school. I had fun most of my life even though there became chaos in our family, (Maybe it's the reason why Karlos is always in the dark, sometimes, I couldn't blame him), and always look forward. But while I'm here in The Darkness, I always ask myself how did it come to this? Did I deserve the accident that happened to me? Will I go back to The Reality, where I would wake up, and do things the way they used to be?
Someone told me once that when you are at your darkest point, you would feel either angry or depressed. I was feeling neither, but the desire to go back.
This is not The Darkness that I know of. I thought that there would be a small screen wherein you could watch with your eyes, and somehow see The Reality. Or like a water-like shield to do something, to give a sign, or whatever it is I could see so that I would feel it back. There isn't any.
Maybe this is the end. Maybe I wouldn't get back at all.
Until I met The Grim Reaper.