VIV POV
"Dad, how could you forget that diary? Dad that diary is more than a diary, it is a record book that will destroy." I took a breath. I need to breathe and carefully express myself before I let anything slip. "Thank you so much Dad for getting all my belongings, ill go get that Diary when I know for certain Faidon is not at home. I do not think he will find the Diary now or ever."
Hopefully Faidon does not realize what my dad left behind. Faidon and I's marriage went haywire after the first year. The second year we were a mess and this year was the final straw. I am actually happy he got Mel pregnant because I needed an excuse to leave, I could not take it anymore. I am also the worst one in that marriage. I have done a lot more than he has. He tried his best to be a good husband, he really did try and I wish i did not screw up as much as I did. If he finds that book, it is not a diary, I will die, my parents will abandon me. I would then have to accept that I am the bitch. I hate what I did but at that moment I was jealous. I am still jealous and hurting. I think when I go over I will tell him the truth. He deserves the truth, he deserves to be happy and to be in love. I will tell him tomorrow. No, that is too soon. No tomorrow is perfect. I kept this secret for too long, I cannot keep this from him. this secret has been killing me, I was hoping him cheating on Mel would ease my guilt but nothing could ease it. Nothing will. I do not need to see him, I need to see Adila. I need to tell her the truth I need her to forgive Faidon, and know the truth. She deserves more of the truth than Faidon does. I hate myself so much. I hate how my jealousy got the best of me. It is still getting the best of me. I need an action plan, a word plan. How do I address either of them ? How do I even find Adila? My thoughts are everywhere. Okay let's get it all in order.
1 go to faidon
2 tell him the truth
3 tell my parents the truth
4 help faidon find adila
5 fix what I messed up
6 reunite the family
7 never see either of them again
8 forgive myself and heal
9 be a better person
10 find someone who loves me.
I hope my jealousy has not done too much of jealousy. Dear God, please do not let it be too late, please let there be enough time. Please let me fix this. Let my atonement begin.