He was trying.
I could feel it in my bones that he was but, he still got a problem with trapping me, confining me to him.
I stayed for years with some of the shitiest human beings and I could as well shout from the roof top that Damon was not like them all.
It came as a shock because I could very well feel his emotions like the blanket he tucked me in every night after our hourly novel reading.
He's like the softest cute big man I ever knew existed in our world.
It was two weeks after I was being kidnapped by him and in all those two weeks, I wasn't allowed anything to do with the outside world, no people other than him near me, no WI-FI... I know I was blind and so what? I still needed the sense that I could access anything, I needed my freedom!
"Thank you" I said politely turning to the other side, I was lonely yes, but I still wanted him away from me. I don't do well with control freaks and damn was he one.
"What else do you want from me?" He asked calmly yet I could hear the hint cracking sound of his angry fire. He was mad.
"Good night Damon" I said with a sigh, it's not because I wasn't in the mood for some strong hateful verbal fight, I could always choose to squeeze some time for just that if it was in the past, I loved the rush of it. I was rather choosing the opposite team if it means we'd argue about the scores later but it was never the same case after my marriage with Trevor.
I couldn't afford some another man's fist on my body, his metal belt on my behind and back, somebody's dirty palm on my beautiful cheeks which were dramatically transforming into some soft hot bun before I could feel the pain of the century between my butt cheeks with Trevor's sirens of ecstacy on my ears.
"Are you brushing me off...?! Do you truly treasure your life?" shouted Damon making my stomach drop to my toes, before I felt him turn me roughly to his direction.
"Yes, maybe I don't really deserve this life, would you look at what I got for myself just after my dying session? I'm not even healed yet!" I retorted just as angry as he was maybe even more so.
"You are mine, love and if you think for a second that I'll let you slip through my fingers like before...? You must be day dreaming!" He said grabbing the back of my neck.
We didn't stay for long but, one specific thing about him was his like of reducing me to a cornered trembling bunny when he does shit like that.
"Jesus, what is this thing with me and assholes?!" I self mocked aloud and sadly making him raging up even more.
"You dare comparing me with that piece of shit!?" He said grabbing me so hard bruising my skin, I was starting to believe the 'hit me' prank sign that kids used to play exists on my face.
"Yes, Damon . Yes! You are exactly like him!" I yelled at him.
Better if he killed me that day than get to live another day with tears falling on my face because of his some dumb shit overated love he always talks about.
"Then allow me to show you just how much an animal I could be"Snarled Damon at me.
What? I too was surprised to discover that he could do it and to realize that I was turned on by it...?. Pure shock.
I couldn't see shit but I knew he was over my face because of the air he was breathing down on my nose, suffocating me before I felt his full soft lips on me and hard, prying them open but I kept them close resulting for his bite on my lower lip so hard that I tasted blood and just like that he was in.
For a minute it was pure hell before he went from a beast to a lamb on me. He kissed with all the emotions I never knew a kiss could portray, He kissed me so desperately like he wanted me to understand his heart, like he was hurting more when I'm hurt.
I didn't know he was crying untill I felt tear drops on my face.
"What the hell!?" I exclaimed, shocked before I pushed away from my face.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... I didn't wanna do that... I hate doing that to you... I ...I ..." He stuttered, choking on his own saliva.
"But, that's what you always do to me!" I stressed, increasing his guilt.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry love but, it's just hard... so hard to do something and you're not so appreciative, why can't you just be happy with me? I want you to get to know me..." He sobbed on my shoulder, wetting that thin silk shirt he chose for me.
"Then set me free, Damon ! I know I wasn't to my former happy self but, I was getting there" I said in a tired voice. I was drained emotionally.
"How can I begin to do that when you're going to run just after I let you go? I know you're going to divorce me!" He said increasing his hold on me.
"If, just if... I promise you to not sign the divorce papers, will leave me alone?"
"No, You are my husband!" He said self-righteous and I shook my head in dissapointment.
"Just give me my life back, let me learn to walk before I run, please..." I begged and he shook his head in refusal.
"The counselor said we should talk not you hiding away from me like this" He reminded me with a sad tone.
"And she also said I needed some me time to process all of this before making up my damn mind, Damon!" I retorted feeling angrier than I was.
Before it was me not speaking my mind but with Damon it was me not being taken serious. And I loath the feeling.