It has been about 33 hours since I came back. It's around 11 pm right now and the only thing I can see is the light coming from the screen of my phone. It's showing a string of unread messages that I received through out this whole shit-show.
Friday, 07.30: "lia!!!!!"
Friday, 12.40: "where are you?"
Friday, 13.58: "why didn't you come to school today?"
Saturday, 15.32: "lia…"
Saturday, 18.46: "answer me!!!!!!"
Saturday, 21.47: "T^T please…"
Saturday, 21.54: "i'm gonna sleep now… ru ok? u can talk to me, u know that right?
Serena kept texting me through out the day but I didn't notice, I was too freaked out to notice. I mean, how the fuck am I back! I died, I'm sure of it… I pulled that damn trigger, I heard it, I saw the blood… how the hell am I here? And why am I back to last year?
Today's the 16th of November, I came back yesterday on the 15th — the same day I died. What I don't understand is why I'm back, is God playing a cruel trick on me again? Or is this some twisted game fate is playing with me? Is it because I didn't play out the role I was given, is that why all this happened? Must I be the villain in somebody else's story? I can't help but start to tear up as I start to remember how everything played out, and how it was supposed to go… Lucas… he did this… he-he killed her.
My tears fall as I clutch my disheveled uniform while sitting on my bed. I came back right before school, I was so confused that I locked myself in my room and have been in here for more than a day now.
Trying to control my volume, I force myself to calm down as I try to think why things went down the way they did, but suddenly, I remember — The journal! Right when I arrived in this world, as a toddler, I stole a journal from my "father" and wrote everything I could remember that happened in the novel. Since I had just arrived, my memories of the last book I read in my first life were still fresh and I managed to get most of it's plot points, such as the last item on the journal "…by the end of senior year, after Rose and Theodore confess, Serena and Lucas publicize their relationship and go on to get married in the middle of autumn amidst the yellowing falling leaves."
I freeze for a long time as I remember the last moments right before I died once again, I remember what Lucas said, I remember the fight I had with Serena right before her wedding as well as my father's warning.
After putting things together I finally start to realize why everything turned to utter shit… it-it was me.
I was the problem.
I did this, I killed Serena. I drop the journal on the cold, marble floor as I stare blankly at nowhere in particular. Tears stream down my face as I quickly reach for my shoes as well as my school bag. I probably look like a burglar, because right after stuffing the old journal inside my bag, I sneak out through the window as if I'm running for my life.
Once I'm out of the house I finally remember to check the time when I notice how quiet and empty the streets are. At this point the clock is minutes away from 1 AM, but I couldn't care less as I start walking.
I don't know where I'm going. I just know that I need to get away from everything, from here, from "father".
-end of chapter one-