Just a warning that there are implications of self-harm in this chapter!
Thanks so much for reading this far! I appreciate it :)
As we traveled along the road, a familiar stone archway appeared and I turned at it, entering the Zonai Ruins. According to several history books, they were ruins from an ancient barbaric civilization. It was said this civilization was strong and prospered for many years, however they had suddenly gone extinct, leaving nothing but these decaying ruins.
We rode past them, both Link and I on alert, ready for another attack. I led the way, having traveled this path several times before. I directed us northwest past the ruins until we met up with the beginning of the Dracozu River. From there we traveled along the riverbank. It was slow going as the river was surrounded by steep cliffs on either side with only a narrow strip of shoreline for the horses to travel on. If we were attacked now, we would be in trouble. Not only would our escape routes be few, but our enemy would have the high ground and Link would be virtually useless being a close range fighter.
Hopefully we wouldn't encounter any more enemies while in Faron... although since I had left on this journey we had been attacked twice and once before in Ridgeland. This many attacks was unheard of in such a short time. Monsters were beginning to stir, growing bold. It could only mean one thing: Calamity Ganon was definitely coming. The only question was how long did we have?
I looked over across the river as we walked past another stone column, the top of it in the shape of a dragon's head. We had passed quite a few so far, so we had to be getting close. My intuition was accurate and as we turned around another bend, the river joined with Dracozu Lake. There was a sandy island in the middle of the lake, so I led us over to that, traveling through a shallow part of the Lake. All around us were stone pillars that lead to the entrance of the spring.
I stared up at the formidable entrance, the Spring just past the giant stone maw of a dragon. It was a glorious piece of architecture, the dragon's head appearing strong and fierce. It was fitting for a Spring embodying Courage.
I dismounted Icefire and began to go through my bag, searching for my prayer dress. Finding the white fabric, I pulled it out, my eyes narrowing. I had grown to hate the dress, after all my failed attempts at awakening my powers via prayer.
"I'm going to change." I called to Link. He nodded and I hid behind a large stone pillar, quickly shedding my armor and pulling on the dress. I tied on a gold belt and slipped on a pair of brown sandals. With everything assembled, I pulled my hair up into a bun, wanting it out of my face.
Then I walked back to Icefire and put my armor away. I turned to Link and frowned. "This probably won't be very exciting for you." He looked over at me as I spoke, "You can set camp up for now. The jungle can be a very interesting place to explore, so don't feel obligated to stay in this exact area for the entire time. Maybe stock up on some provisions. From what I remember off in that direction there are some hearty durian trees. And mighty thistle is very common in this area too." Link looked at my arm as I pointed East. "We'll be here for five days, so try to stay preoccupied otherwise it can be very boring." I was rambling, a pit forming in my stomach. I hadn't realized how apprehensive I had become on the journey here. I just didn't want to be met with more disappointment. I needed to try harder than I ever had before.
"Zelda." I looked up to see Link had walked over to me, his blue eyes intent upon me. He seemed so close now, close enough that if I reached out I could touch him. His blue eyes were normally neutral, giving nothing away, but as I looked at him I thought I saw a flicker of sadness. And then his eyes shifted downwards and he said, "Your arm..."
Instinctively my hand came up to my bicep, clutching at it in a death grip. The scars had been there for years and I normally wore long sleeves when I was around people to cover them. Thus I had forgotten about them, clearly displaying them for him to see when I lifted my arm up.
He must think I'm pathetic. That I'm crazy. That I'm weak.
Trying to recover, I took a step back. "It was a long time ago." I muttered and looked down, feeling ashamed. "I'm going to start praying." I stated and quickly walked away, wanting to get away from him.
It had been a long time ago. I had been so overwhelmed, so desperate, so alone. I had felt so much and yet nothing at all. And one day I just started cutting, over and over, mesmerized as the blood dripped down my arm. Just to let it all out - to feel something - to punish myself - to remind myself I was still alive.
As I entered the dragon's maw, I stopped. I had to calm myself. I couldn't go into the Spring with an unfocused, haphazard mind. If I had any hope of achieving what I sought, I needed a clear mind. Breathing deeply, I pushed away the memories, the self-loathing, Link's words. I let it all melt away, knowing the task ahead of me was vital. I could not afford any distractions.
My eyes determined, I continued through the dragon's maw until I stepped down into the warm water of the spring. Walking in further, the water coming to my knees, I stopped when I was below the statue of the goddess. I folded my hands and closed my eyes.
"Please Goddess." I started, "Please hear me. I need guidance. Tell me what it is I need to do to awaken this power inside me. What I need to do to ensure Hyrule will not fall. What I must do to defeat Calamity Ganon. Please guide me..."
Link watched as the Princess left, her figure disappearing into the dragon's maw, leading her to the Spring of Courage. Shaking his head, he turned to the horses and swiftly took the saddle bags and saddles off them. Then he began to set up the tent, taking his time to make sure it was constructed correctly. Once this was complete he decided to collect some wood to build a fire.
Climbing up the cliffs that surrounded the lake, he began his search, picking up any fallen branches and making a pile near the edge of the cliff. He traveled further into the jungle, an image of a blonde-haired girl coming to his mind. She had seemed nervous, which was unusual for her. She normally appeared so bold and confident.
And then his eyes had caught a glimpse of the scars on the underside of her arm, white against the normal color of her skin. They weren't that apparent, but his observant eyes had spotted them, if only for a little bit. Yet it was clear what they were.
She is strong. Link thought. Undeniably strong.
He did not pity her, but he felt sympathy. He could only imagine what she must have gone through, what she must have endured, and still she was so persistent and determined. He wondered if the roles had been reversed, if he would have had the fortitude to keep pushing forward like she did.
Link sighed, it was best not to think about it too much. She clearly didn't want to talk about it and he shouldn't have brought it up. Still, he wished he could help her somehow. Yet this was something she had to do on her own. He just hoped that in five days time, the Goddess would give her some direction.
Returning back to the cliffs, he had acquired a decent pile of wood. Link began to toss the pieces down and then carried them back to camp. Looking up at the sky, he found the sun, still high in the sky. Zelda was right, it would be a tedious five days for him with little to do, although he could get some quality training in.
However before he did that, he decided to take Zelda's advice and search for provisions. Heading in the direction she pointed, Link searched for the hearty durians, wanting to try and experiment cooking with them. He had never cooked with them before, so he was curious to see what he could come up with, and additionally, it did give him something to do.
Thus Link proceeded into the jungle to hunt for as many hearty durians as he could find.
My body ached. My eyes drooped shut and I fought the urge to close them. Hunger had passed long ago and now my body was filled with an undeniable fatigue. My feet stung, my calves and legs were shaking from standing for so long. My back and shoulders burned from standing straight for hours on end. I just wanted to collapse into a pile of blankets and sleep for days on end.
I looked up at the Goddess Statue, once more trying to clear my mind and chant the ancient prayers. My voice had grown hoarse from chanting over and over, so now I quietly recited them in my head. Yet I didn't get very far. Soon my eyelids began to close as sleep pulled at me, my mind becoming cloudy.
Gritting my teeth in frustration, I shook myself and started over.
You need to focus, Zelda! I catechized myself.
This time I began to speak the words out loud, hoping that would help. My throat hurt as I chanted, but it helped me stave off the desire to sleep. I kept at it until once more I felt my eyes closing and I jolted upright, determined to keep going.
Maybe if I just close my eyes for a few seconds. I reasoned. That couldn't hurt...
My eyelids fell over my eyes and a sense of bliss filled me. Before I knew it, my legs buckled underneath me and my hands came out to catch me as I fell forward. Landing in the water, I was on all fours, water splashing onto my face. I took a few deep breaths and then sat on my heels. I grabbed a handful of water and splashed it onto my face, yet it didn't help. I tilted my head back to stare up at the darkening sky. I had been praying for two days straight, not leaving the spring to eat or sleep... and still nothing.
My body ached everywhere and half of me was dripping wet. Was anything really going to happen in the next few days? Was it pointless to keep trying? Especially when all I wanted to do was fall asleep.
I sighed and closed my eyes once more. What do I need to do? Just give me a sign... anything! I pleaded to the heavens but my words must have fell on empty ears, as they always did.
I felt my body begin to relax and unable to fight it any longer, I let myself be dragged into the sweet clutches of sleep. It felt like a warm embrace, as if strong arms had surrounded me.
It was the third day at the Spring of Courage since they arrived and Link was starting to grow worried about the Princess. She had been praying nonstop since they arrived, not taking a break to eat or sleep as far as he was aware. He had gone to check on her the evening of the first day, however she had seemed so focused, chanting prayers underneath her breath that he did not want to break her concentration. So he left, figuring she would stop when she was ready.
However the morning had come and her sleeping bag was untouched. When he went to check on her, she was in the same spot she had been the night before, still chanting quietly. This continued throughout the rest of the day and night as well. Every time he had gone to check on her, she was still intently focused on the task at hand and he let her be, although he wasn't sure how long she could keep this up.
As the day started to darken, he glanced over at the dragon's maw. A fire crackled in front of him, a cooking pot over it. He had had plenty of time to invent several new dishes using the native plant species of this region. He had even gone hunting, borrowing Zelda's bow and a few arrows, although he made certain he had grabbed the normal arrows and none of her experimental ones. He didn't want to accidentally blow himself up; one person trying to do that was enough.
He had managed to hunt a few birds, which were cooking over the fire now. He would serve them with some rice balls infused with hearty durian. He had found the fruit was very invigorating, restoring his strength after a long day of training. He hoped it would help Zelda as she must have been exhausted.
Taking a deep breath, he readied himself to face the Princess. Walking into the stone dragon's skull, he saw the Princess, however she was not in her normal position. Instead she was kneeling in the water, her head tilted back as if she was looking up at the sky. It appeared her body had finally succumbed to fatigue.
Approaching her, he was about to call out to her, to tell her to take a break, to join him for dinner. However he never got the chance as all of a sudden, her body began to fall sideways and Link quickly rushed into motion. He splashed through the water as he ran to her and his arms reached out, catching her just before she hit the water.
Looking down at her, he saw her eyes were shut and she was breathing evenly, clearly asleep. He shook his head. Her body had reached its limit. Lifting her up, he cradled her tightly in his arms and walked back to camp. Gently he laid her down by the fire. He wasn't sure if he should wake her, although if he did that, he was certain she would go right back into the Spring. And right now it was clear she needed rest.
Quickly he went into the tent and brought out her sleeping bag. He laid it out on the ground and then moved Zelda on top of it. Hopefully the fire would dry her clothes and hair as she probably wouldn't appreciate waking up in a cold, wet dress.
For the rest of the evening, Link finished cooking his meal and made sure to save some for Zelda. He sat by the fire for the rest of the night, lost in thought. Several times his eyes shifted over to the sleeping girl, her face peaceful while she slept. Eventually Link retired to the tent, moving Zelda inside as well. She didn't even stir as he lifted her up and moved her into the tent. She must have been exhausted.
He laid down next to her, making sure to keep a decent amount of distance between himself and the Princess, although that was a little hard in the small tent. Still, he didn't want to make her uncomfortable, although she had shown no qualms throughout their journey about having to share a room or a tent with him. Then again, to her this was probably just business. He was her knight, here to escort her as she journeyed across Hyrule.
So he probably didn't need to worry about it. If it was an issue, she'd have no problem telling him to go sleep outside. He smirked.
Rolling over, he closed his eyes, but not before giving one last glance at the sleeping Princess across from him.
My eyes slowly fluttered open. Sluggishly I sat up, surprised to find myself in my tent. Rubbing sleep from my eye, I noticed I was wearing my prayer dress and everything flooded back. I let out an exasperated sigh and held my head in my hands. I had fallen asleep.
Standing, I crawled to the opening of the tent and stuck my head out. The sun was getting higher in the sky, signaling it was early afternoon. I frowned, wondering how long I had slept.
"You're awake." I turned to see Link. He was sitting near a fire, cooking something.
Getting up I walked over to Link and sat next to him, still trying to wake up. "How long was I asleep?" I asked.
Link thought for a minute. "Since yesterday evening."
I nodded my head. I still had the rest of today and tomorrow to dedicate to prayer.
"Here." Link handed me a bowl of food. Taking it, I looked down to see rice balls infused with hearty durian. There were some cooked pieces of meat as well. It smelled good, as Link's food always did. However my stomach twisted at the thought of eating.
"Did you go hunting?" I asked, staring at my food.
"Yes. I borrowed your bow and some arrows."
I nodded, "Sorry. This has to be pretty boring for you." I picked at the food with my fork.
Link shrugged, "I've kept busy. I've been able to do some training these past few days, so that was nice. And I figured out some recipes for the hearty durians. They certainly give you your strength back." I nodded, still moving my food around. Noticing Link asked, "Do you not like it?"
I turned to look at him, surprised to see concern in his eyes. "No." I said, "It's not that." I looked away, "I just don't have much of an appetite right now."
"You haven't eaten in days." Link reminded.
"I know." I replied and shrugged. "I know my body needs food, but it just doesn't want to eat. Strange, huh?"
Link didn't reply right away. Finally, "No, not necessarily." He said, making me turn towards him again. "Our bodies react differently to stress. You lose your appetite. Still, you should try to eat a little."
My green eyes stared at Link for a few seconds, not expecting his compassion. It felt as if someone was finally seeing me. Looking back at my food, I slowly began to eat it, chewing the food thoroughly in my mouth, even though it tasted like ashes. I felt tears welling up in my eyes, but I held them back.
"Thanks." I murmured.
I felt Link's eyes on me, "For what?" I shook my head, tears starting to slide silently down my cheeks. "Zelda?"
"I'm okay." I said, my voice quivering. "I'm just having a moment."
Link said nothing, which I expected. What an awkward position I had put him in. Fully expecting him to get up and give me some space, I was completely dumbfounded when instead he reassuringly placed a hand on my shoulder.
We said nothing else, just sat around the fire while I tried to eat the food in front of me and quietly cried. Eventually the tears stopped and I wiped my cheeks dry. I set my bowl down, tired of eating, although I had eaten two-thirds of my meal which was an improvement from not eating anything.
Link's hand fell from my shoulder and I stood up, wiping off my dress. I looked over at Link who had also risen. Embarrassment filled my chest and I scrambled to think of something to say.
"I'm going to head back to the Spring." I said awkwardly.
Link nodded, busy cleaning up. Turning away I began heading towards the giant stone dragon, readying myself for another session of prayer.
"Zelda." I glanced back to see Link had walked after me. I gave him a curious look. His hand came up to scratch the back of his head as he replied, "How about you take a break when evening comes? We'll be leaving soon, so you'll want to be rested before we head off to Gerudo Town."
I stared at the knight. He did have a point, however there was more to it than that. It was as if he actually cared about me, not the Princess of Hyrule, but me, Zelda. All other knights and advisors in the past had left me to my devices, not caring that I was being pushed beyond my breaking point.
"Yes, that sounds like a good idea." I gave a soft smile, "Will you come get me? Sometimes I lose track of time when praying."
Link nodded, "Of course."