It's a while before your troopers have finished loading the medikits, but eventually Shah declares that their work is done and that everyone is free for a couple of hours. You've been trying to look busy off to the side at a computer terminal, reading through the history of the Free Lhasa region and some of the old Astral reports from the civil war. You catch Amori's eye and wave him over as the platoon disperses.
"Do you have time to chat?" you ask.
"Of course," he says with a smile.
There are a cluster of briefing rooms at one end of the strike deck and you stroll into one of them, shutting the door behind you. A clear window reveals the bustling activity beyond, but no sounds penetrates the wall. You each take a seat and he waits patiently for you to begin.
"Here's the thing," you say finally, letting out the breath you didn't realize you'd been holding. "I'm a loyal servant of the State, and I'm proud to wear the Astral uniform, but these past few weeks have really shaken me."
"How so?"
You realize that tears are close to the surface, and you close your eyes tightly.
"I've done my duty," you say finally, "but I've done terrible things. I've killed and maimed, and I've put my troopers in harm's way."
"That's what a platoon commander does."
"But for what?" you shout. "What's the point of it all? Why are we risking ourselves on this distant rock, fighting people we don't know or care about?"
Amori sits back in his chair, staring at you in shock. For a moment, you think you've committed some betrayal as an officer. But then grins in relief.
"Wow, I didn't think officers ever thought like that. That's the kind of thing we troopers are supposed to mutter about to each other." He reaches over and pats your arm. "Welcome to the club."
You laugh in relief, wiping your eyes. "So, I haven't disgraced my commission?"
"Nah, you just proved that you're human." He leans back again, folding his arms and appraising you. "The next question is: what are you going to do about it?"
"You mean other than blindly follow orders?"
"You tell me, sir," he says. His posture is relaxed, but there's intensity in his eyes. An expectancy.