I never thought I could be as happy as I am with Gary.
I know that we're an odd couple. I'm at the end of my mid twenties, still figuring some things out and he's staring down the barrel of 40. But that's okay. May December romances are always a little strange, but as long as everyone is of age and consenting, does it really matter what kind of relationship other people have?
A few years ago, I would have laughed if you told me I'd fall in love with a man over ten years older than me. But the fact remains that he's one of the best partners I've ever had. It's not just about the sex (although the sex is incredible), I feel complete when I'm with him. I feel like I don't need to hide myself, or pretend to be anything I'm not. Isn't that what matters the most?
About little over a year ago, I had sort of an emotional crisis. I got depressed, restless and just felt… I dunno, inadequate. Like I wasn't doing enough with my life. I had a pretty sheltered upbringing. My Mom died when I was young and my Dad was a pastor who cared more about his clergy than his son. I always thought it was a little ironic, the way he went on about Traditional Family Values when I had more of a relationship with my grandparents than I ever had with him, but I digress. I went to a Christian boarding school and graduated on the honor roll. My Dad wanted me to go to a Christian university as well. But I had other ideas.
See, by the time I'd graduated high school, I'd figured out two very important things.
The first was that I was gay as fuck and the second was that as long as I did what my Dad wanted, I was never going to be happy. I didn't bother coming out to him. I'd been listening to his sermons of fire and brimstone for my entire life. He'd been pretty clear about his attitude toward homosexuality. He never would've accepted it and I had no illusions about changing his mind. So I planned to just drift away from him. Start my life and quietly cut ties. He'd be furious, but it's not like I'd be losing anything of value.
I had to fight for it, but my grandparents ultimately convinced him that I'd be better off at Upper Lake University in Tevam Sound. I never told them about what I was planning in detail, but I always got the impression that they knew.
When the time came, I left home and went up north, far away from my Dad to start a new chapter of my life and it was the best thing I ever did. For the first time, I was out in the world on my own. I could finally see the world, without my Dad's filter over my eyes… And I was happy. For the most part.
It took me a few years to really come out of my shell. I had a few boyfriends, but it was hard to break out of old habits. I stuck to my studies, graduated with honors and eventually I got a decent job and small apartment Tevam Sound. It was nice… But it wasn't long before that aforementioned emotional crisis kicked in. So I started looking for something to fix that.
It started with nightclubs… Those were never really my scene, but I tried anyway. From there, it turned into hookups. One night stands and disappointing meet ups on Grindr.
One saturday night, I'd gone out to Tevam Sounds one local gay bar with a couple of friends of mine, looking to fuck my sorrows away as per usual. It was a slow night. Not a lot of people were there. My friends were just looking to drink and party. Me, I just needed a connection.
Eventually I got tired of the music and went out front for a cigarette. I'd just taken my first drag when a man walked up to me and asked for a light. I obliged him. We started talking. His name was Gary, he'd gotten divorced about a year ago. He worked in tech support and he trying to figure out just who he was. He was cute enough, so I 'volunteered' to show him back at my place.
I was just expecting a quick, meaningless fuck but honestly, we ended up just sitting on the couch all night talking. After that, the rest is history and I haven't looked back since. I finally found what I was looking for.
Pride in Tevam Sound isn't as fancy as it is in some of the bigger cities, but it's still nice. The queer community in town is pretty tight knit. Just about everyone knows everyone else. There's a parade in the downtown area and some local events as well as 'Pride In The Park' event, with live music, stalls, food and booze that goes on over the weekend. Honestly, it's my favorite part of Pride.
There's a woman who does an art showcase every year with fantastical paintings of magical landscapes, beautiful mermaids, and majestic unicorns. She never sells any of them, but it's always worth it just to see what she's painted. Her wife is part of the Pride committee and they're literally one of the sweetest couples I've ever seen.
One of the professors from the University, Dr. Vega usually runs the committee. She does a pretty good job, and she's always out there, talking to people, and making sure everyone feels welcomed. She knows just about everyone by name. Including me. I was never in one of her classes, but she was pretty active in the schools Pride Comittee. Talking to her back when I finally started to come out of my shell really helped me finally start to feel more comfortable in my own skin, so it's always good to see her again.
I'm also friends with a few members of the local musicians they usually hire to play, and it's always nice seeing them get a chance to shine up on stage, even if it's just for a little while. Some of them could probably be playing much nicer venues than the park in Tevam Sound, but they come back all the same.
Then there's some of the local businesses that get a chance to set up too. Most of them are queer owned, and it's great to find local queer businesses to support. Gary and I found the cutest little bakery last year… There are also booths for local mental health programs, queer affirming churches, shelters for those in crisis and so much more. It's the best parts of Tevam Sound's community all in one place.
I could just go on and on talking about what's out there and every year, it seems to get a little bigger. Not just from the growing community, but other people coming just to be part of the festival!
This year they even had a kids stage by the parks playground. Barry the Bunny, a cartoon character from some small time kids TV show was up on the stage singing and dancing. It was really just a guy in a Barry the Bunny costume, and to be honest, he looked a little goofy walking around the festival between shows. I always felt bad for the guys in those mascot costumes. I can't imagine it was comfortable to walk around in that on a hot June day, and the Barry costume didn't look like it had been designed with comfort in mind. It honestly only barely resembled the cartoon character… Barry in the cartoon was a white rabbit with overalls and big round glasses. Barry the mascot had greyish fur that looked a little ragged, bulging eyes and a permanent grin. Gary had said to me at one point that he was shocked it didn't scare the kids away, but they seemed to love it. Honestly, I just found the whole thing kinda cute in a goofy but wholesome sort of way.
Gary and I had gone down to see the sights and hang out for a bit. We browsed the stalls and said hi to both the old familiar faces and the new ones. We'd stopped off to get some ice cream when I saw signs in the distance, just outside the park on the other side of one of the fences. On instinct, I rolled my eyes.
Protesters. Lovely.
I genuinely don't get why people feel the need to come and protest a small town festival just because there are gay people there, but then again if I did, I'd probably be a much shittier person. I could see Gary rolling his eyes beside me as we watched them come in. There weren't that many of them, probably only about 20 or 30. At least a third or so of them were younger kids, none of whom looked like they really understood what was going on. They wore shirts and carried picket signs reading shit like:
SODOMY IS SIN
And
JESUS KILLS FAGGOTS
A man at the front, carrying a megaphone shouted like a drill sergeant as if he was rallying his troops behind him.
"GOD IS COMING! GOD IS COMING AND HE WILL CLEANSE THE EARTH OF YOUR SIN. TURN BACK. RETURN TO THE SIGHT OF THE LORD AND YOU MAY YET STILL BE SAVED!"
I saw the woman who does the paintings look up toward the protesters with a look of exasperation, before rolling her eyes.
Gary put a hand on my shoulder to coax me away. There was an ice cream truck on the other side of the park that had been calling his name for the past little while. But my attention was squarely on the protesters.
Annoyed as I was by their presence, I guess I still had something of a morbid fascination with them and I'll admit, some small angry side of me had half a mind to go up there and tell them to fuck off. I knew it wouldn't do any good, but it was still a nice thought.
"GOD IS COMING AND WHEN HE COMES, HE WILL PUNISH THE SODOMITE, HE WILL PUNISH THE HOMOSEXUAL. HE WILL PUNISH YOU, AND YOU WILL BURN IN THE HELLFIRE FOR YOUR SEXUAL PERVERSIONS THAT YOU HAVE SO CALLOUSLY DECLARED AS 'LOVE'."
Listening to that pastor rave, it occurred to me that he sounded familiar… Too familiar. It wasn't just the bullshit he was spewing. No, it was his actual voice…
No…
No fucking way…
It couldn't be…
"Mark?" Gary asked as I pulled away from him, heading to the fence. Maybe it would be a mistake to look but I still had to see. As I got closer to the man with the megaphone, I felt a pit form in my stomach as I realized that I knew this man.
I'd spent my entire life growing up with him.
This was Pastor Keith Rummage.
My Dad.
As I recognized him, I froze in my spot and stared at him for a few moments as Gary came up behind me, already anxious to get away from the protestors, as if they were some sort of wild animal. He may have had the right idea.
I felt Gary put a hand on my shoulder as he tried to coax me away, and I quietly turned to go with him. But I hadn't made my exit fast enough.
Pastor Rummage lowered his megaphone as his eyes fixated on me. I saw a scowl of disgust cross his face as he approached the fence.
"You…" He said, his voice dripping with venom, "I had wondered if you might be here. Cavorting with these… Degenerates."
I didn't answer. I didn't have it in me to answer.
The Pastors eyes shifted over to Gary.
"You must be the sodomite who corrupted my son… I didn't think I'd ever get the chance to meet you."
Gary paused as he suddenly realized why I'd approached the protesters, and just who it was that was speaking to him. I'd told him about my Dad, obviously and he'd seen some old pictures. But in that moment, it all clicked for him. He reached down to take my hand, before tugging at it to lead me away.
"You're not even man enough to speak to me? After what you've done to my son?" The Pastor snarled, before raising his megaphone again. "As expected of the man who ruined my son… Running like a coward from the sight of God! But there is no salvation for you. Nowhere you can hide from Gods divine judgment! He sees all! Hears all! And He knows your sins! Hellfire awaits you! Do you hear me! Hellfire!"
I couldn't help but look back as we left. My Dad glared at me with a hatred that I hate to say was all too familiar to me.
He raised his megaphone to continue his rant, and as he did, I watched the Barry the Bunny mascot plod over in front of where he stood and begin a little dance where he playfully shook his booty at the protesters, smacking it occasionally just to piss them off. The fact that my Dad paused to watch said dance, more rage building in his eyes as he did brought me a little comfort
"You okay?" Gary asked once we were far enough away. I could tell he wasn't sure how best to get into the topic… Or if I even wanted to get into it.
"Yeah…" I murmured, "Just didn't think I'd see him out here of all places. Come on. Let's get some ice cream and get out of here."
I hadn't actually spoken to my Dad in the better part of three years. I'd never come out to him, but I hadn't exactly been hiding anything either. After I'd started my relationship with Gary, I'd gotten exactly one long, rambling email from him that I skimmed before deleting. I didn't need to read the whole thing to understand that he wasn't about to voice his support of my new relationship.
Something told me that it probably wasn't a coincidence he was in Tevam Sound… No, somehow I got a feeling in my gut that he'd been looking for me and honestly, that didn't sit well with me. The last thing I needed was to put up with my Dad's bullshit.
Despite our setback at Pride in the Park, Gary and I still at least tried to make the most of our day. We got ice cream, strolled along the downtown, and finally stopped off for dinner at a nice restaurant by the lake. A perfect end to a mostly perfect day. We got seats on the porch, by the water and as we drank our wine and talked, we watched the sun set over the lake. It was beautiful.
Then I heard that voice again…
"Almost three years you don't speak to me… And when I come all this way, you turn your back."
My heart seized up in my chest. I looked over to see my Dad standing by our table. He glared down at us, his face cold and stony. Gary seemed to tense up at the sight of him. It took me a while to find the words to say.
"Considering where I found you, can you blame me?" I asked.
My Dad scoffed in disgust before pulling out a chair.
"I was there for you. Reminding you of the true path. You belong back home. Not here. Not with-"
"Will you just leave him alone!"
My Dad paused, before he shot Gary a look of disgust.
"Don't you raise your voice to me." He said, his attention returning to me.
"Oh I am being very calm with you right now." I assured him, "Look, I don't know who the fuck you think you are. But you do not just show up back in my life uninvited. Especially not while I'm here, trying to enjoy my night with my boyfriend!"
"Do not swear at m-"
"Did it ever occur to you that I cut you off for a reason? Not because I'm 'corrupted' or whatever the fuck you want to believe, but because of you. Did you ever think about how the kind of person you are made me hate you? Because I can promise you something Dad, even if I was straight as a fucking arrow I wouldn't have a goddamn thing to do with you! I'm happy for the first time in my life and do you know why? Because I wasn't around you!"
My Dad was silent for a moment… Although the look on his face wasn't one of realization. I didn't expect it to be. It was one of seething rage… A barely contained explosive outburst that bubbled beneath the surface. I could see in his eyes all the things he wanted to say and do. It would've probably made my impassioned little speech look like nothing. But he kept his mouth shut. He seemed to swallow it back down as he struggled to regain his composure.
"What a shame I ever had you for a son…" He spat, "I had come here to rescue you… To bring you back to the path. But you've chosen evil. You've embraced it. You're no son of mine…"
"Great. Thanks. Fuck off."
He stood up with such force that he almost knocked his chair over and stormed out. Our waiter watched him go with a look of concern before coming to check on us.
"Is everything okay?" He asked, "Was that man just bothering you or…"
"It's fine…" Gary assured him, putting on a fake smile. "We're fine!'
As soon as the waiter was gone though, he turned his attention to me.
"That was… Are you okay?"
"Better than okay." I said with a slight sigh, "God, I didn't think I could ever say any of that to him…"
"Well. For what it's worth… I'm proud of you for saying it." He said, his smile returning. I leaned in to kiss him.
"I'm proud of me too."
We left the restaurant about an hour later, holding hands as we walked back to our apartment. We talked quietly about what movie we were going to put on for the night as we walked along the lakeshore.
The sun was so low that it looked like the forest behind the lake was on fire. Looking out over the water, I could see a couple of deer walking along the far shore. I was so taken by the view that I didn't notice the footsteps behind us at first.
Gary had paused and looked back to see the shadows of people approaching us. When I noticed him looking, I looked too. In the dim light, I could still see the text on one of the shirts.
JESUS KILLS FAGGOTS
I felt a sudden sinking feeling in my stomach as I realized that they were the only other people around. Gary suddenly stepped in front of me, eyes wide as they kept approaching. I saw him reach into his pocket for his housekeys. He held them between his fingers as a desperate makeshift weapon.
"Get the fuck back…" He warned, but the group didn't listen.
The first one hit him before he could react. When he tried to fight back, a second grabbed him from the side. A third helped force him to the ground. The rest just started hitting him. I screamed in panic, grabbing and kicking at them to try and get them to stop. Screaming at them not to do this! They didn't listen. Of course they didn't listen… There had to be at least six of them, and only two of us.
One of them grabbed me and violently tore me away, hurling me to the ground.
"Wrath of the lamb, motherfucker." He spat before punching me in the jaw.
I hit the ground and as I did, I saw the silhouette of another man standing across the street, watching us silently… My Dad… No… Pastor Rummage.
The man on top of me hit me again, and again before suddenly stopping. I tasted blood in my mouth and instinctively held my hands up over my face, hoping I could spare myself from getting hit again. But the punch never came.
"What in Gods name is that?" I heard one of the men ask.
When I looked, I could see that all of them had stopped. All of them were looking at something further down the street. Slowly and painfully, I looked up to see it too.
Barry the Bunny was walking towards us. Or, at least someone wearing that same goofy costume from Pride was walking towards us.
"You're kidding me…" The man who'd been hitting me said, before storming over to the mascot.
"Whoever you are, you're going to turn around and you're going to go home." He warned, "This here is a private affair. Do you understand me?"
Barry the Bunny did not speak.
"HEY! You listening to me?!" The guy snapped, "Turn around and go home! Now!"
Still no response. When he finally moved, I don't think there was anything that could've prepared me for what he did next.
Barry lunged for him, grabbing him by the head with both of his gloved mitts. The man let out a startled cry as his skull began to crack. Barry lifted him off the ground. His legs kicked violently in the air before with one final, nauseating crunch the mans skull seemed to buckle under the pressure. He went still, a bit of piss dribbling down his leg as he did. Barry tossed him aside like garbage… Then continued his advance.
The guys who'd been beating Gary all straightened up, watching the advancing mascot with horror. I saw Gary starting to crawl away from them and picked myself up to run to his side. He was bruised and bloody… But otherwise okay.
As the mascot drew closer, the other guys stepped back.
"To hell with this…" One of them stammered and turned to run. The others weren't so smart.
"Get the hell back here!" One of them yelled to his fleeing comrade. But the runner didn't want to listen.
Pastor Rummage stood by, eyes trained on the mascot in confusion and horror.
One of the guys took a swing at it. The mascot just grabbed his arm and effortlessly tore it from its socket. As the guy screamed, it ran for him, tearing into his ribcage with its bare hands and cutting his screams short.
The remaining four guys started to panic. Now they'd decided to run, but Barry wasn't going to have any of that… He ran for them, grabbing the nearest one and stuffing his head into his gawking foam mouth. I swear I saw his mouth close… I swear I watched his single bunny buck tooth slice through the mans neck as he devoured his head.
He cast the body aside and charged for the next guy, grabbing him with one hand and ripping him off his feet as he started racing towards the third guy. Barry drew one arm back and shockputted the man he'd just picked up, screaming into his friend. As they both crashed to the ground, the mascot got down on all fours and ran for them, mauling the two of them like a wild animal.
The last guy looked back to see what was becoming of his friends. I saw his eyes widen in horror in the minute before he tripped over a raised section of the pavement. Barry looked up at him, face stained with blood. His bulging eyes fixated on the fallen guy… And without so much as a warning, he charged at him. Still running on all fours…The guy just screamed and held up a hand as the mascot devoured him… Ripping him into bloody chunks as if he were made of paper and jamming them down down its throat.
Then there was silence… The only sound being that of the waves gently lapping at the shore. Pastor Rummage stared at the mascot, his eyes wide. His hands quaking with terror…
Barry the Bunny stood up again and stared at him, cocking his head slightly to the side. The Pastor took one last look at me… Then he started running. When he did, Barry followed.
That was the last I saw of either of them.
I don't know what the hell it is that we saw that night… I told everything to the police when they questioned us about the bodies. They took their notes, but nobody ever really did any follow up.
Gary and I were for the most part, okay. Scrapes and bruises. No real harm done. Thank God for that
As for my Dad… The Pastor. I saw that he'd been posting on his congregations YouTube channel not too long ago. As far as I can tell, he managed to get away from whatever it is that came after him that night.
Honestly, I'm relieved. I hate him. I really do. I hate that man down to the core of my soul. But I'm glad he's not dead. I'm sorry that anyone died that night… Even the pieces of shit who attacked us. I get it if some people don't understand why. A lot of people would say that a few less violent, homophobic nutcases in the world is a good thing and I can't technically disagree with that. But I'm not the kind of person who celebrates anyone getting hurt. I don't want that for anyone and I don't think anyone ever should want that for someone. But hey. That's just me.
Despite his best efforts, my father raised me to be a good man.
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