I couldn't understand Gide's behaviour, he distanced himself from me again. He won't stare at me, didn't look me in the eye, didn't smile at me. He became cold stone. I didn't know what he saw into Christoph's past, maybe I did something to upset him or anger him.
He seemed angry at me.
I was angry at him too, he started hanging out with Aurea in front of me without caring how I felt. It hurt but I decided there would be no Gide in my life anymore. As soon as this ends, I would never see him again, I would never think about him again.
Christoph was training me how to use my powers. I felt strange, I had the possibility to do things beyond my human reality. I could do things only by moving my fingers, it felt wonderful.
"Now Tara, take a deep breath, remember every ability of yours is related to the nature and it has a huge influence in nature as well."
Christoph advised me being sweet and calm as always.
"I don't know if I can do this." I sighed crossing my legs while sitting on the grass. Christoph joined me.
"I know you can do it. I know you well Tara, I can see the magic dancing into your eyes. You are full of magic." Christoph smiled without taking his eyes off me.
"Wonderful I'm the only one who can't see it." I laughed ironically at myself.
"I think you need a mirror." Christoph mocked me and I don't know why my eyes went on Gideon who was staring at us full of anger. Was he jealous?
"What did Gide see when he enchanted you earlier?"
"Forget about that."
"Tell me! He became furious. Did we.. hmm did we?" I was trying to ask him If I had any kind of relationship with him but I was stammering.
"Did we do what?" Christoph smirked understanding what I was trying to say. He knew I had a crush on him when I was a teenager so it felt akward.
"Did we..You know what, were we together?" I asked lowering my head, my cheecks were burning from embarrasment .
"No Tara, you had eyes only for him, he was all you wanted. " Christoph answered and I don't know why I was relieved.
Then why was he mad at me? Why was he ignoring me?
If he wouldn't come to me then I was the one who would go to him. I felt like I was going to talk to my crush for the first time, I felt like a teenager. With every step that I took towards him I lost a piece of my confidence. When I stood in front of him , he refused to look me in the eye.
"Can we talk?" I asked chocking on my words.
"I can't , I don't have time." He answered avoiding my presence as he was searching for something in one of the bags .
"Yes you do have time, but you don't want to talk to me. Why is that?"
" You're imagining things now, I don't have time for this."
"Oh, what you called 'this' is my effort to try and understand what happened. But since you don't want to find time for me then I'll never be available when you come to me. I am tired of your games and insecurities. Just decide already If you want to stay or leave , so I'll now if it's worth waiting for you or no. "
I spat venom frustrated and turned to leave when Gide held me by my hand.
" I'm sorry, but it will be better this way. You will be better this way. If you want when all this ends I can erase your memory and you will continue your normal life. "
" Don't you dare! Don't you dare Gideon! What do you call a normal life Gideon?!
Let me tell how was a normal life for me when I was younger. I would graduate, I would find a job, I would marry Christoph who was just my friend's brother, maybe we would have two kids.
But you know what became normal for me when I grew up? Being disappointed from everything and everybody. You can't choose who you attract or who loves you. You can't choose who stays , because you can't force anyone to care about you .
When you came into my life Gideon was like all my prayers were listened. I had the possibility to escape that reality to a new surprising reality. And I wasn't afraid because I was almost sure that you would be helding my hand.
What you did is letting my hand go everytime that I reached for you. You left me alone and continue to do that during all this trip. I am tired of waiting. I can't wait for you to return, if you want to go then go. You know what, go , have fun, have sex, marry Aurea, have kids. Do whatever you want.
You are a stranger to me from now on. You're just Franklin's son, some moody guy named Gideon . Goodbye Gideon. "
I was crying all the time , I took a last breath and continued walking . I had taken a decision and Gideon did nothing to stop me.