Not just to hurt him but to hurt Pax; even if it was to hurt him he did not want anyone, especially his mate to be collateral for anything- any reason. Daven not the only one capable and for more reasons then just being crazy; revenge or power. He would give up everything if it meant Pax would be safe and unharmed at the end of the day. ''My visions are meant for me to translate; and I will get there one day but for now, maybe we can enjoy breakfast together? I still want to train though.'' I added at the end of my near request, breakfast something he will agree to but I was still a bit unsure if he was actually going to train me.At least how I want to be trained. Any worrying on Julien's part will have to wait; and not just until after breakfast. Julien however let out a sigh; taking me serious now. ''If you want to train; we should wait for breakfast.'' My eyebrows quirked up, quickly followed by a smile. ''So you will teach me how to fight?'' Julien gave me a nod; still not sold on the idea but willing and not how he had truly wanted to. What else could I convince him to do?He smiled upon seeing my smile; ''Besides; I don't think your dad is going to be too happy to see me.'' I turned my head at his statement. ''Why?'' Had he heard something I didn't; not hard but I couldn't think of any reason why he wouldn't? I mean I love Julien and he needs to get to know him a bit more like mom has.Does he not like Julien? I needed him to like Julien, I know I haven't had any boyfriends but I just so happened to find my soulmate and he should be happy for me. ''I did just sleep with his daughter; not exactly earning me any points with him.'' Julien explained and I felt my face heat up at the thought; not exactly wanting it to be public. Not with my parents anyhow. I felt no regret for our night together though; enjoying every second with Julien. ''He may not know; yet.'' The mark made it hard to not know; sure I'll be getting different reactions among the pack. My dad was a bit slow; not as aware of supernatural things. Like human brains didn't pick up on it as much. Unlike my mother; magic coming from it and my dad wouldn't sense that at all. ''I think-'' Julien gestured to my neck, my mark-his mark and smiled; nearly laughing. Finding this amusing well I was a bit embarrassed. ''I think he will; its healed but it's still obvious Pax.'' A near looking birthmark but I was not born with it and he has known me for my whole 18 years. I smiled now too; ''Okay; so he will but it was bound to happen and he would have to deal with it sooner or later.'' I told him, able to find it a bit funny now; not going to be able to avoid it. Julien's hands returned to my lower back; always gravitating toward me and he let out a content sigh. ''How about a small breakfast then; I'll think about how I can start training you.'' And get my father's reaction out of the way but he didn't say that much out loud; not needing to though. ''Did you hear them wake up yet?'' I had been too distracted by Julien to notice; not silent in my room and I was not complaining. Julien a very; very welcome distraction. Julien nodded and I quickly leaned up on my toes to kiss him; excited to start training, to have something to focus on that I can actually get better at.I moved to walk past him and out of my room; going to go downstairs for breakfast but he stopped me by grabbing my arm and spun me back toward him. Capturing my lips once again. ''Not so fast love.'' He nearly whispered against my lips before our lips moved in sync; both easily wanting the kiss and naturally moving together. His hand cupped my face again; so gently holding me before his thumb traced over my bottom lip. ''Okay; now I'm ready.'' He smirked as I looked up at him; breathless. How could I be ready after that? ''Sort of-'' Pecking my lips once more causing me to smile.My hand found his, holding it in my semi-stunned state now. I was ready until he kissed me like that. That must have been the affect my simple kiss had on him; needing more too. I bit my bottom lip, still able to feel his lips on mine but that just wasn't enough for me. I grabbed ahold of his face with both my hands and he quickly moved to hold my lower back; supporting my lean up into him and his lips once again. ''What if we just stayed in here; like your wolf wants?'' I asked, getting out quickly in my want to continue kissing him. Wanting what his wolf wants too- very much in this moment.I was not close enough to him and some part of him sensed that as he helped pick me up, jumping into his hold before wrapping my legs around his torso. ''And what about your training; our pack, love?'' Julien asked but did not stop placing kisses on my lips. Not sounding to want to stop himself either, hard to control when we both want it. Something in his words triggered another vision and I gasped as I pulled back from our kiss but gripped his shoulders; fear coming through and I needed him to hold me. ''Pax-'' Was the last thing that came through before my sight was completed taken over. ''I've got you.'' Julien still soothed assured; there no matter what.The wall with grimoires returned but this time I was granted an emotion with it; trying to make out more details through the hope I had felt. The only window in the room was what I felt myself focused on; not sure if this was from my view or not, having seen Katie's at one point. That was the only one I had seen from another though, from touching her maybe. Why was a window giving me hope; why did I need that hope? Before the room began to disappear from my sight; I noticed the wall near the bed, having a chain hanging from it.My touch returned first and I could feel Julien; still holding me and when I fully came from the vision and its full focus I could see he had moved us to sit with me on his lap. He brushed my hair back behind my shoulder and then ear; seeing me again fully too. ''Hey;'' His voice was soft; just what I needed and I melted into his voice along with his touch. ''I think you might be drawing from me naturally with the mark'' A tone of fascination mixed with his explaining. Feeling the draw as I had my vision. I had no intention but the mark does connect us beyond what we already had and my magic just finds him. ''What'd you see?'' What did I see and how could I tell the person who manages to worry more then my own parents; what I saw? Things were never going to be normal will they? I just want to enjoy my mate. I sighed and moved to stand, getting off his lap and although he let me his hands lingered; not wanting to get up myself but it would have just been Julien standing once I tell him. ''I saw the grimoires again.'' I let my words stop there, I know I should tell him but how can I? In my thoughts to fill him in or not; what If I wasn't seeing it correct? Then I'd worry him and everyone else for nothing. ''I don't; I don't know, I'm still struggling to see it.'' Not lying to him but not knowing all the information either so what could I really tell him about it? Yes I saw some new things but I needed more time to think about the meaning. Sometimes there are things to translate; maybe that chain wasn't literal. ''Can I try again?'' I looked back at him; not wanting to hold anything back from him but that would mean I could see more, or rather hoping to. Julien allowed himself a small smile, something about that made him happy but he nodded. ''Absolutely.'' He then extended his arm, offering his hand to me. I took it; still nervous to do so but he pulled me into him so I would move to sit on his lap once more. Not minding this position; I placed my hands onto his shoulders and as I did so, he moved to hold my waist. This was the type of training he wants me to do; work on my magic side of things. I can see the appeal but I want both, nothing wrong with getting his help with both either. ''I don't know exactly what I'm doing, what if I take too much?'' He can't practice magic but Julien was full of it; more being used just by him existing then I can use at once. Julien nodded, not needing to know to support it. ''You won't, I won't let you. Just take what you need and I'll be here.'' Somehow he continues to exceed expectations I didn't know I had and remind me how lucky I am. I smiled before pulling my self to focus with a nod of my head. ''Okay.'' I took a breath, I can do this; how could I not with Julien's help? I closed my eyes, not sure if that'll make it any easier and tried to picture the room; the grimoire wall.Attempting to will it back into my mind; to be real again for even a few moments. This time however when I saw something; it was something different, making less sense. Was this from the same vision or a new one? In a bathroom; this one for me, of me. Looking unfamiliar but I held on this time, feeling Julien. I looked for every detail I could, not any bathroom I remember being in but that didn't mean it was a bad thing.The bathroom was not lit very well; the real light coming from the large window by the shower and bath, dimed by the dark wall and floor tiles. Outside the window was water for miles and mountains, nothing but woods and no sign of even another building let alone person within the view. It seemed empty but I couldn't see what was inside the cupboards under the sink cabinet. The vision taken away again; nothing more to see other then the room I was in. Not feeling anything but perhaps Julien clouded that; able to feel him instead. ''Well that wasn't a wall of grimoires.'' He told me and I turned my head at him upon seeing him again; my eyes open in confusion and only growing when he spoke. Did he see it too? Had I done something so he could?I did pick up on something I didn't before though, the view in that bathroom was not the same one from the room; so maybe they aren't related. Not liking much that has come from the first one. ''I don't know how you did it; but I saw a few things, flashes of a bathroom?'' He asked, probably feeling how I had felt when I first starting seeing the flashes of images I had either never seen before or just simply didn't understand. I nodded though; a bathroom indeed. Something; just something that didn't feel as though it was going to help me understand anything. ''Why can't I just see what I want; it's supposed to be my gift?'' At least I can get Julien to see some too, more then I can do more myself. Easier to explain to him by showing rather then speaking. ''Hey; you'll get there.'' He moved one of his hands from my waist to cup my cheek; I wish I had his confidence in myself.With a small smile, I nodded; maybe I will get the chance to figure more out and in a couple days if I haven't; then I'll tell Julien. ''Can we train how I want now?'' I asked, feeling like maybe I could be good at it; or at least have a better chance with then my very unreliable and clearly untrustworthy magic.Julien gave me a half smirk as a sort of response before standing with me and helped me once he did. Feeling weightless in his hold even as my feet touched the floor again. ''We can do anything you want.'' Julien's smirk settled into a small smile; looking content to be looking at me. His blue eyes melting me easily in his hold.It seemed better to save breakfast after we train a bit; taking Julien's expert advice to wait and as I finished putting my hair up into a ponytail, I took a deep breath before looking to Julien. Still looking over the spot he choose for our training session. ''So how should we start?'' I asked, his focus however on moving sticks and rocks from the mossy small spot we had found after walking a bit from the house. Trying to stay out of sight of my parents. Not needing them to know or find out. My mom would know I felt like I had a reason; unable to hide it. Once he deemed the spot good enough he took a breath and finally looked at me; hearing my question the whole time but waiting to answer it. Although I was sure he wouldn't let me just fall, part of what will make this process hard with him teaching me; he won't hurt me, not really.Why I had originally thought maybe Alex would be better at teaching me but he definitely would not hold back; not entirely minding that but I would not be able to hide his type of training. ''You're gonna have to show me what you can do before I know.'' He placed his hands on his hips; awaiting just that with a smile on his face but I remained where I was. The whole point is for him to teach me. ''I don't know how to just attack someone.'' I told him but he dropped his hands and shrugged. I had no idea how to attack someone or defend myself from being attacked; Julien knew how to do both. ''Just come here; throw a punch, anything.'' He gestured for me to come closer and I took a few steps; not liking the idea of hurting him but still supportive of it either way, as if it would just come naturally. I looked him over for a moment but just went for it and he did not hold back.Julien caught my hand without a thought and twisted me into him; turned so my back was against his chest. Not hurting me but holding me firmly enough to hold me in place and get the effect. With how fast it all happened I let out a breath of surprise but the point clear; he won and I lost. Which for me isn't just a loss but could mean life or death; what could prevent me from being used against Julien. Used against my own mother or Adeline, a bigger fear then any other werewolf's like Daven; the hunters that could show up at any word of witch craft. The Hunters scared me far more then Daven ever could; having been in my nightmares since I was a child. I can not fail as coven leader; as future Luna to Julien's pack. Nor can I be the reason that anything attracts them. Dean stopping me from using magic on Rachel was a perfect example of needing another way; fighting in some way other then magic. Julien gently released me and I felt him step back, ''Okay; try again, this time same thing but push back. I'm not using all my strength; fight me.'' He nodded at the end as I turned to him once more; getting into it now.If that wasn't all his strength; then I don't stand a chance, not able to put up much of a fight against what he is using. For what felt like the next hour was spent doing exactly that; trying again and again but failing with each attempt. Julien made sure to tell me everything I was doing wrong; or could do better, not even doing good though. Not sure now if this was his way of agreeing to help me well still making sure I knew how much he didn't want me doing it. It was however made crystal clear just how weak I was and after nearly an hour I could not take anymore of it. ''I need a break.'' I tried to pull my arm from Julien; having it held and pressed against my chest as his chest was against my back, firmly holding me. ''Julien.'' I leaned into him; feeling trapped now, not just some training anymore. The helpless feeling returning without any progress on my end.He quickly released his hold on my arm and I let it fall to my side before leaning away from him; needing to step away and take in a shaky breath. Even with his training. I could not defend myself against a werewolf and Julien is holding back. ''Let's stop for the day; I didn't meant to- I'm sorry.'' When I turned to face him again he was rubbing the back of his head; not seeming sure what exactly happened but rather knowing something happened. I wasn't- none of what I was feeling was his fault; nor did I want him to feel any guilt about it. I was the one to ask him to help me after all. ''It's not that.'' I nodded and looked down as I thought of how I could explain it to him. ''I'm weak Julien; you're kind is so strong and-'' I nodded again but Julien closed the space between us to gently grab my waist; fully grabbing me when he saw it really isn't about him. ''We should be training you to fight with your magic; that's where your strength is, where you are stronger then me.'' Julien explained to me as he stood lower to face me and try to make his point more believable. Understanding that I am right but trying to not fully admit that.In some ways my magic is stronger but I had no real magic that is used for fighting. How could he train me to use it in such a way?Julien took my silence to share his thought process; having already thought on it apparently. ''What did you do to Daven? Before I had showed up when he wanted to trade you for Nick?'' Julien asked, right before he had got between us; the one to save the day then too.My magic just stopped him from being able to touch me but I'm sure once he felt the pain it would become easier to deal with it if I would have to had use it again on him; or anyone for that matter. I saw how he looked at me after; wanting to lunge at me once more. ''It was intention magic; I made my skin feel hot to the touch, to burn him.'' My head nodded before I realized just how little faith I have in my own magic; even something so simple. Not good to rely solely on intentions when fear or so many other emotions can get in the way; not to mention it was the hope that Julien provided me of being not far behind that gave me the courage to do it. Julien nodded and pulled back with a step before offering me his hand. ''Show me; don't hold back.'' I took his hand but this time I would be hurting him and I could not think about the damage I would cause. ''I don't want to burn you Julien.'' Which would mean the intention most likely won't work, the fear of hurting him making it hard to actually want to do it. With Daven; he didn't give me much of a choice. ''I can heal Pax; and I can handle it, you asked me to train you.'' With a sigh, I looked down at his hand that I held before briefly biting my lip. I wasn't so sure I could hurt him even if I tried but the way he looked at me; full of encouragement and I've seen how fast he can heal.Before I closed my eyes I caught sight of the smile on his face; seeing me begin my attempt at hurting him. Trying to convince my body and myself against what feels so wrong; to intentionally hurt my mate. Even with his approval.I focused on my skin being hot again; to not inflict as much pain, I only focused it to one of my hands. I know the whole point is to show what I can do but he held back too.I tried my best to not look at him; his reaction to the heating up of my skin and I knew he was holding back from his reaction as well. Not letting me see the pain he felt in any way so I wouldn't stop. Julien watched me the whole time; I could feel his gaze even under the burning I knew he was starting to feel, only growing hotter as I kept my focus. The challenge he was giving me to get him to react; to make my hand as hot as I can and not hold back. ''Think like it's you or me Pax.'' Julien whispered; his voice not sounding to be in any pain yet, at least not anything he couldn't handle. His pain tolerance either very good or he is just good at not showing it; maybe a little bit of both.When I focused on my magic; I couldn't focus on much else, not able to feel if he is in pain. He will heal, he will heal; and he will forgive me because he wanted me to go all in. I swallowed; feeling convinced, my best idea of that is when I did it to Daven. What I had felt to be able to go all in.As if his hold was Daven's; I re-felt how I felt that day, what his hold felt like and- ''Okay! Okay good; great actually.'' Julien yanked his hand away, shaking it once before placing it behind his back to hide it well it healed. To hide it from me and did his best to keep his pain from showing, I had definitely burned him more then I wanted; having not wanted to at all. Catching a glimpse of it at how quickly he pulled away; drawing my attention to it and taking me out of my intention. I grabbed his arm though; pulling his hand into view again, catching the end of his healing process as his hand fully healed and went back to normal. Not a burn or scar to show. I turned my head at the sight of it before gently tracing his palm; like nothing had happened.When I glanced up at Julien, he was smiling at me; like he's proud of me? How could he be proud of me for hurting him; being able to even do such a thing? ''What happens if there isn't any skin contact?'' Or I can't use magic; witches even create such objects for themselves. Who knew what else is out there. I tried to nod the thoughts away, the fighting what I wanted to learn; burning people horrifically wasn't fighting. ''I'm pretty positive that'll burn right through clothes; besides, I'll be there Pax.'' I nodded; knowing he means his best by saying that but it was unlikely he could be there for anything that could happen. Not really knowing exactly what that may be. Even with how quickly he can move from point A to point B. Just as I know I am a priority of his; so is his pack. Needing to be there just as much as he wants to be with me. The pack house still over an hour away; a lot can happen in those few minutes it takes him to run here in wolf form. What if the danger doesn't want anything from Julien like Daven had? ''And;'' Julien smiled down at me before pulling me closer against his chest with the hand I held. ''We don't have to worry; you're safe now remember?'' The way his blue eyes sparkled; truly happy and I couldn't help but smile back. Not able to complain much when Julien has his hands wrapped around me; holding me close to him. Enough and I had to remember that Daven is taken care of; who knows what my vision even means anyway. ''Do you think we could try one more thing before we head inside?'' I asked; thinking of something I read in my grandmothers journals. There are different ways for each witch to channel their magic and gift. I find nature does help with mine so maybe I could channel it again for a clearer vision. It had come fairly easy on our camping trip; having water and earth as a way to channel. Once more I would have Julien. ''What do you have in mind?'' He still shrugged; not minding either way. I was not sure if I even knew how to explain it but I pulled slightly away and turned in his arms. Imaging his smirk as I did so. Keeping his hands around my lower torso and holding me there. ''Okay; now I'm even more inclined to help.'' And there's the smirk in his voice to go along with the image in my head.I glanced down and smiled to myself before reaching up to tuck some loose hair behind my ear, then returned to hold my hands over his; not able to hold his whole hand as he can with mine.As I glanced back up I caught something in the tree's; seeing more to it. My opportunity to reach for the vision-a vision. I looked; focused more onto parts of the leaves, how they swayed slightly in the breeze. Asking them to show me and feeling the tingle of Julien offering his energy to me.Not needing to explain what I wanted for his help. My vision swirled between that of the sky; the trees to something I felt was more and I did my best to reach for it. Trying not to expect anything and just let it come to me, expecting things of my vision never really turned out for me. Adeline; next to me and the wall of grimoires. Her being there threw me off and out of the sight I had. Getting more then enough for the more that I had wanted. Not sure I still wanted it though. I spun around quickly in Julien's arms; his gentle hold he had on me. Adeline changed things for me; I need to be able to protect her. The not knowing what is behind this vision was becoming a problem. ''I need Adeline.'' I felt that; I felt it to the core of my bones that I needed her to see more of the vision. She was the key somehow to see more and beyond what I have so far. Her future that I needed to see just as much as mine.Julien looked a bit shocked; not having seen any of that one this time. But my sudden desire to find her taking him by surprise.He thought rather quickly; wanting to take care of things before I got too wrapped up in my process. Feeling just slightly rushed by getting results. ''Let's get you some food first; you earned it and she'll be there.'' A good point too, I would give him that. I should make sure not to push too hard despite how much I my want to. ......To Be Continued In The Next Chapter....