The morning of Tobias's first full day at St. Francis got off to a kick start with a delicious breakfast consisting of soggy toast, tepid oatmeal sweetened with a sugar substitute that left an aftertaste like decaying plants, and congenial conversation with his new classmates.
And Daniel Leclair.
"By the way, party in our room tonight?" Leclair said from the head of the Madison table, addressing everyone present. He spoke in a way that implied the party was a given event that everyone already expected.
"Party?" Tobias repeated.
"Yeah, to roll out the welcome wagon for you new guys," Leclair said, somehow not seeming as threatening today as he had the day before. "It would only be polite for those of us who know the ropes to introduce ourselves to the fresh meat and make sure you're all settled in before classes begin. It will be a good chance for you to make friends."
Alfie was sitting across the table from Tobias, just like the evening before. The dark circles beginning to form under his eyes and the drawn expression on his pale face gave away that his first night at St. Francis had been sleepless, and when he spoke it seemed to be out of a sense of caution rather than simple curiosity. "Why have it on a Sunday night? Why not Saturday?"
"Partly because not all the new guys are here yet," Leclair answered, even and cordial. "But mostly because it's like a rite of passage to be able to make it through the party and still walk into your first class the next morning standing upright. It's a tradition."
Both Tobias and Alfie were thinking the same thing, although neither one voiced the question out loud: what did Leclair mean by being able to walk into class upright the next morning when everything fun was banned at St. Francis?
Alfie turned to Lucas, who was also sitting in the same seat he'd taken at dinner the previous day. "This sounds like it's meant to be the hazing you promised wouldn't happen."
"Come on, Alfie," Lucas said with a light laugh that almost made the idea of being suspicious of the party seem absurd. He glanced at Tobias to let him know he was included in what he was saying, too. "This is our chance to prove to you guys that we're not a bunch of weirdos."
Alfie pursed his lips and stared into his bowl of untouched oatmeal like it was a crystal ball that could tell him the answers to all of his problems. "I'm already tired just from coming here. I don't want my first day of class to be any harder than it has to be."
"The entire school year's going to be hard if you don't try to relax and make friends," Lucas said, somehow managing to not sound harsh.
Tobias had to admit he had a point. Both he and Alfie were here for the long haul whether they liked it or not. So were all the guys here. Sometimes there was nothing left to do but to give up resisting and learn to make the best of things.
"You could just stop by for an hour or two," Tobias suggested. "I'll go, too. It's not a bad idea to introduce ourselves to the people we're going to be sharing a building with for most of the year."
He could tell that Alfie wasn't happy about it, but the kid relented with a small nod. He figured the both of them, as newbies, would feel better having each other there for support. They were as much strangers to each other as the other guys were, but at least they were strangers together…or something.
Plus, for Tobias there was also the fact that he would hate for the other Madison guys to think he was a recluse. He didn't want to be mistaken for someone like Leclair's roommate Gimsing, for example, who once again sat far away from everyone else at the table and looked like a little ball of gloom as he tore the crust off of his toast and tossed it aside into a growing pile. Maybe getting to see Gimsing in his natural habitat would offer Tobias some insight as to why he was the way he was.
2
Vincent stopped by Lucas's room mid-morning and found his friend sitting alone at his desk, staring at his stack of textbooks.
"Come down to the common room with me. I need help formulating my plan for taking out the counselor this year."
Vincent expected Lucas to roll his eyes and say something like 'Oh God, not that shit again'. Instead, all he said was "Can't. I'm busy formulating my own plan."
"For Alfie?"
Lucas confirmed this with a nod.
"Must be hard having the prize this year. It's like winning the lottery – once people know, they do everything they can to get a piece of your good fortune."
"It's mainly Leclair I'm worried about."
"You know he plays by the rules once the stakes are claimed. All that talk yesterday was just him being an asswipe."
"I'm not so sure that he will this year. Not with Alfie, anyway. The kid's too good to pass up."
"Alfie seems to really like you, though. Last night in our room the only time he would chill out was when I mentioned your name."
Lucas seemed to relax a little at that. "I forgot you're rooming with him. That's even better. You can keep an eye on him and make sure Leclair's not putting his grubby mitts on things that don't belong to him."
"No problemo. We could even switch rooms if you want so he's always with you."
"Nah, it's too soon for something like that. Besides, I feel like that would only make Leclair even sneakier."
"So, are you and Alfie coming to the party tonight?"
"Yeah, but I kind of wish I hadn't convinced him to come. I thought it would give me the perfect chance to rub it in Leclair's face, but I'm getting a bad feeling that it's going to backfire on me."
A new voice entered the conversation: "What's going to backfire on you?"
Lucas and Vincent wheeled around. Alfie stood in the doorway. Jesus Christ, how long had he been standing there?
"Oh, it's nothing, Alfie," Lucas said, cool as a cucumber. "I was just thinking that you're probably right that it's a bad idea to have a late-night party before the first day of school. I'm always too tired to focus the next morning and I inevitably get scolded by some sourpuss teacher right off the bat. Leclair always makes fun of me for it, so I wanted to survive it this year and rub it in his face, but let's face it, that's probably not gonna happen. I'd hate for the same thing to happen to you."
Alfie seemed satisfied with this explanation, which meant he couldn't have overheard too much of their conversation, thank God. "But I'm only stopping by for an hour or two, so I won't be too tired tomorrow morning. Can't you do the same?"
Vincent laughed and slipped past Alfie on his way out the door. "That's a great suggestion, Alfie. Leclair's known for his empathy, especially towards his good friend Lucas, so I'm sure that'll go over well." He turned to shoot Lucas a relieved grimace over his shoulder, behind Alfie's back. Close call.
"If you'd rather skip it, nobody would blame you," Lucas said before Alfie could ask questions about Vincent's sarcasm. "There'll be other chances for you to get to know everyone."
"No," Alfie said, surprising him with how resolute he seemed. "I said I'd go, so I will. You and Tobias will be there, so it won't be so bad. I'm sick of always being the timid wimp who runs away from everything. I want to go and meet everyone so I can get it over with and try to become comfortable with them faster."
Lucas beamed at him. "That's great Alfie. A little positive thinking will go a long way. In a few days you'll laugh at yourself for ever being nervous about coming to St. Francis in the first place."
As soon as Alfie disappeared down the hall, Lucas shut his bedroom door and threw himself face down on his bed, pulling at his hair in frustration. What a fucking time for the kid's balls to drop.
3
Time allegedly flies when you're having fun, Tobias reflected to himself later that afternoon. So why is today going by so fast?
Morning Mass had immediately followed breakfast. Tobias decided it was like every other Mass he had ever attended, except it felt even more like a cult meeting because of the congregation's matching navy-blue blazers. He spent the first half of the service staring into the flames of the devotional candles set up near the pulpit until his retinas were imprinted with orange circles, and then he spent the remainder of the service worrying that he had gone too far and fucked up his eyes permanently this time.
After Mass (his eyes had made a full recovery) he had headed back to his room to pick up his class schedule and a map of the campus, determined to memorize the routes to his classrooms on his own just so he could prove Leclair wrong.
During this quick pit stop, he had discovered that not only was Leclair's room on the same floor of Madison Dorm as his, it also happened to be in the same corridor. It was four doors down, the last one in the row, and situated perpendicular to the rest of the rooms: the lone door at the bottom of an L. When Tobias stepped back out into the hallway after grabbing his schedule and map, he noticed a student knocking on Leclair's door, looking around as he waited as if he expected Marcus to materialize next to him and bust him for something. The student spotted Tobias looking at him and visibly jumped when they made eye contact. He quickly turned and hunched his shoulder up slightly in a poor attempt to hide his face. A moment later the door opened a crack and the boy slid through it, disappearing into Leclair's room, possibly never to be heard from again.
Hmmm. What the hell was going on in there? From the way the kid was acting, it probably wasn't something Headmaster Leclair would approve of. Drug deals? Virgin sacrifice? Tobias could only imagine.
As he turned to leave, he remembered that Daniel Leclair was possibly a relative of the headmaster, which only confused things for him even more.
The upside was that during his self-guided tour around the campus, he had discovered a quiet area near the edge of the surrounding woods where a stone bench and a small fountain sat like a little sanctuary. He may not have technology to entertain him anymore, but nature could be pretty good sometimes, too.
He sat down on the bench and began to mull over what Angel had said to him the night before. How did the guys manage to keep their sanity in this puritan prison? The ambiguous answer had kept him lying awake all night.
"There are ways-ways-ways-ays-ays..." his roommate's voice echoed in his head.
"But what does it MEAN?" Tobias shouted. A flock of birds flew out of a nearby tree in a cacophony of flapping wings.
Then he heard a loud snap followed by quiet rustling from the woods to his left. Tobias jumped up from the bench and whirled around, knowing the noise couldn't have been made by a bird or a squirrel. He detected a dark figure moving within the trees. Maybe Angel hadn't been joking about the ghost.
Well, he was half right. Leclair's spooky roommate Gimsing emerged from the tangled foliage and stopped in his tracks when he saw Tobias standing in his way. There was a split second of bone-chilling eye contact, and then he squeezed his way past Tobias like he was walking past a snake, continuing on his way towards the dormitories without making a single sound or facial expression.
What a creep. He and Leclair certainly made a matching set in their own unique ways.
No, he was being unfair. The roommate hadn't done anything particularly creepy—he just liked to sit by himself at mealtimes and go for strolls through the woods by himself. Could he hold that against the guy? He was doing the exact same thing at that very moment.
And Leclair? his conscience still prodded. Yeah, what about Leclair? Warning sirens went off in his head every time he went near the guy. But he had been nothing but hospitable to Tobias since the moment he stepped on campus—shouldn't he try to give him the benefit of the doubt?
…No. There had to be something wrong with Leclair. He was certain to find out what sooner or later. His conscience was nagging at him, and he had learned a long time ago that it tended to be right, so it was better to give in and listen to his gut instinct rather than fight it. The party was in six hours, and he was going to use the opportunity to get into Leclair's personal quarters to find out as much as he could about him.
4
Lucas was pacing the halls of Madison Dorm, trying to think of a way to keep Alfie away from the party in Leclair's room. He didn't think it would be that hard to convince him to change his mind—the kid hardly seemed like a party animal. It was the other guys he had to worry about. Come to think of it, he should have been with Alfie right that moment, making sure none of them were messing with him. Everyone in Madison obeyed the rules about touching other people's claims, but when you had the Golden Goose, you had to keep your guard up. People were so selfish sometimes.
Call it a fit of clairvoyance, or rather, Leclairvoyance: When he went down to Alfie's room to see if he could talk him into changing his mind about the party, the Menace was already there, regaling Alfie with tales of his own greatness, most likely as a way to make Lucas look like a boring waste of time and lure him over to Leclair's side.
"Danny, Danny Danny, fancy meeting you here!" Lucas enjoyed the look on Leclair's face, like a little boy caught with his hands still a few inches from the cookie jar. He was surprised Leclair even still had the ability to look mildly ashamed. "I was under the impression that you and Gimsing had plans together today."
Leclair's expression turned to a cold glare, making it clear that he understood Lucas's meaning. It had stung him just the way he had meant it to.
"Gimsing is aware that helping new arrivals get settled always comes first."
"Good thing I've already got Alfie covered, then, so you won't have such a burden to deal with."
Alfie was watching them with a look of extreme confusion. "Yeah, Lucas already showed me to my classrooms yesterday, and I'm going to meet the others tonight, so I think I'm set."
"So, I'll see you in my room tonight?" Leclair directed at Alfie.
"I'll be there, too, Danny Boy," Lucas said before Alfie could answer. "You can count on seeing us both at your party."
He winked as Leclair made his exit, looking half pleased and half disgusted. Leclair was definitely working on his own plans to get to Alfie tonight, which meant Lucas was going to have to be even more vigilant. He wasn't going to let Alfie out of his sight until the party was over. Maybe not even until graduation day.
5
Tobias felt a conflicting assortment of emotions upon entering Leclair's bedroom late Sunday night. The first wave was a mix of anger and envy when he saw that it was at least three times larger than everyone else's living quarters. How was that fair?
Oh, yeah…nepotism.
The second wave he got was primarily eeriness. While there were already several boys scattered around the room socializing, Leclair's roommate just sat on his bed like a dark, soul-sucking lump. It was clear he wasn't interested in the party, but apparently he wasn't irritated enough to get up and walk out, either. Which was fair, Tobias granted him. This was his room, after all. Tobias was a guest there, so what right had he to judge him for not liking his or anyone else's presence? In fact, his stubbornness made Tobias respect him a little more.
The final emotion he experienced was confusion, once he'd had the chance to look around at what was in everyone's hands. Pretzels? Jelly Bellys? Alcohol? And this got past Marcus, how? Surely even nepotism didn't protect Leclair from breaking this many rules.
Angel ambled over to him, plastic red cup in hand, bouncing his eyebrows. "See? This is just one of the many ways that we at St. Francis can keep our sanity intact." He smiled and offered Tobias the bag of jellybeans. "How else do you think we don't die of starvation? And wait 'til you see this." He went over to Leclair's laptop, which was sitting open on his desk, and began pulling up all of Tobias's favorite websites, including Facespace and Videotube.
Even Filthy German Sluts?! Tobias's heart palpitated. He made a mental note to check it out later.
"But how?" Tobias asked.
"Proxy servers. We can only use it on Leclair's computer though, because the school watches the traffic, and we'll all get busted if they catch on. You can schedule appointments, thirty minutes for a dollar."
Ohhh. So that must be what the anxious-looking guy from earlier had been doing. Tobias felt relieved that at least Leclair wasn't running some sort of drug or sex club from his room, but the relief was short-lived.
"First time's free for you, Toby."
Leclair was right beside him, leaning in unnecessarily close. It was clear that he had been imbibing since before the party had started, and judging from the fumes coming off of him, his drink of choice was not simply wine filched from the chapel's storage room. But he still had enough control over himself to keep from slurring his words too noticeably.
"Gee, thanks." Tobias tried to put some distance between their bodies. Behind Leclair, he noticed Alfie arriving with Lucas. He regretted letting his gaze linger on them for too long, because it drew Leclair's attention to Alfie. For some reason he didn't like the idea of a drunk Leclair pestering Alfie.
"Well, look who finally decided to show up!" Leclair said, staggering over to get right in their faces. "My two guests of honor. Grab yourselves a drink and make yourselves at home." He gestured to his own bed, indicating to Alfie that he could sit on it.
"Maybe later. I think Alfie'd like to get to know everyone a little better first," Lucas said, putting himself between Alfie and Leclair. What do you know—coming to this party had ended up giving Tobias a chance to form a kernel of respect for two people that night.
"Ah, yes, that's what we're all here for, aren't we?" Leclair giggled and punctuated it with a hiccup. "To get to know each other a little better. Well, why don't you get us started, Alfie? I'm sure you're well aware of St. Francis's colorful reputation. So tell us: What in the world could a cute little thing like you have done to get sent here?"
"He didn't do anything. He was framed!" Lucas answered. Leclair glared at him.
"Was I talking to you?"
"But he's right!" Alfie interrupted before an argument could blossom. "My parents think that I destroyed my principal's new car, but I didn't touch it at a…ll…"
He trailed off and his face flushed a light rose when he realized that everyone in the room had been listening. Tobias could guess the thoughts that must be flashing through his mind. He had just admitted to an entire room of juvenile delinquents that he had never done anything wrong, and what's worse, being framed probably made him look like an incredible pansy.
"I'm in kind of the same situation," Tobias said, raising his voice to take the attention off of Alfie. "I mean, mine doesn't sound as bad as that, but I didn't do what I got sent here for."
"Which was?" Leclair asked, sounding annoyed that he hadn't already volunteered the information.
"My mom found a bag of weed in my underwear drawer and my parents ended up sending me here to get me back on the straight and narrow. It wasn't even mine, it belonged to a friend."
"Oh sure, and I bet your parents fell for that whenever you tried to tell them that, too."
"But it's true. I mean, we smoked it together, but it belonged to him, so I'm a little pissed off at them for not believing me when I technically told nothing but the truth. Anyway, I guess it wouldn't have made much of a difference. I was probably going to get sent here no matter what. My parents thought I was being too influenced by peer pressure and the media, and wanted to send me to a private Catholic school for my senior year anyway. And while we're on the subject, what about you?" he asked Leclair. "You don't seem like the troubled type."
Then again, Tobias added to himself, neither did Ted Bundy.
"That's because I'm not. The headmaster is my uncle, and my dad pretty much runs the place thanks to his, may I say incredibly generous donations, so it's only natural that I would attend this hellhole."
"Ah!" both Tobias and Alfie exclaimed in unison.
So Tobias had been right. How many Leclairs could there be in such a godforsaken place if they weren't all related? Nepotism was exactly why Daniel Leclair could get away with so much more than the rest of them. Not only was he not considered a hoodlum, but since he was related to an authority figure he probably was not subjected to such invasive room checks, or perhaps didn't have any room checks at all.
Did this revelation warrant another strike against him?
Nah, Tobias finally decided. It wasn't Leclair's fault he was a privileged rich kid. There was no need to hate him just because of envy.
"Besides, hardly any of us ended up here because we're junior criminals," Vincent spoke up next. "I actually asked to be sent here."
"What in the world for?" Alfie asked, not trying to hide his confusion.
"I have three sisters at home," Vincent said and stopped to sip from his cup. He didn't continue afterwards.
"And?" Alfie urged him.
"What 'and'? Isn't that reason enough?"
"Isn't this just so nice, getting to know each other better?" Leclair chirped with fake bonhomie. "Even I'm finding out things about the guys I've known for years. What about you?" He finally turned his attention to his roommate, who had been forgotten in his dark corner of the room. "Why are you here?" He spoke in a certain tone that made Gimsing shrink back further towards the wall. It was like he was hoping his own small shadow would swallow him up and make him disappear from the dozens of eyes gazing upon him.
Tobias got the feeling that this wasn't the first time he had been asked that question, nor was it the first time he refused to answer. The look of sadistic pleasure on Leclair's face made Tobias second guess himself, though. Perhaps he already knew the answer as to why his roommate was here and he found delight in bringing it up. Either way, that look in his eyes was enough for Tobias to go ahead and give another strike against him.
Three strikes and you're out. Sorry Conscience, but I think I'm right this time...
"Well, so far nobody's done anything of any real interest," Leclair said, already bored with torturing his roommate. "Isn't there anyone here who's done something worse than stealing a pack of Bazooka Joe?" He blearily scanned over the handful of other attendees, hoping someone would raise their hand. Everyone kept silent and looked around at each other, possibly either too embarrassed that they weren't as tough as they thought they were, or too embarrassed to admit they had done something worse than the other guys.
"Don't look at me!" Angel dismissed the notion when several pairs of eyes fell upon him. "I've gotten into more debauchery here than I ever did at home," he said and emptied his cup in a single gulp.
"So lame," Leclair sighed and fell back onto his bed.
"What exactly is it that you're looking for, Danny Boy?" Lucas asked. "A murderer?"
"Don't be stupid, Sigmund. Obviously a murderer would be sent to prison, but it sure would make it a hell of a lot more interesting around here."
"You're sick."
"You're damned right I am. I'm sick of being stuck in this goddamn monotonous black hole. St. Francis's reputation is more interesting than the real thing."
"That might be boring for you, but it sounds pretty reassuring to me," Alfie said. Tobias could tell he instantly regretted sharing his thoughts when he realized all eyes in the room were now on him again.
Leclair looked him over once more and giggled. "You are so small! What are you, a freshman?"
"No. I'm a senior."
"No shit? How many grades did you skip?"
"None. I'm seventeen. I even have my driver's license."
"Fuck, man. Seventeen years old and still looking like that. That's rough."
Several of the boys snickered. Alfie put a hand up to shield himself from the harsh light of the desk lamp. He looked like he was having a nightmare.
"You don't look so good," Angel said, handing him a cold glass bottle. "Drink this, it'll help you feel better."
"This is the worst party ever," Tobias announced to the general area. Nobody acknowledged him besides Leclair's creepy roommate, who turned his head toward the noise, then crumpled back in upon himself. Feeling confident that Lucas would be enough support for Alfie, Tobias left the 'party' to head back to his own room.
6
Alfie carefully looked at the bottle Angel handed him. It was just a typical glass juice bottle with the label peeled off; inside was a darkish liquid that smelled fruity. He sipped it; it tasted like blackberries. Relieved, he tipped the bottle back, the coolness heavenly in his sticky throat. The glare from the desk lamp made him feel like he was being interrogated and it emanated a heat that had made him sweaty and disoriented. He kept the bottle close to his lips from that point on, feeling like he could hide behind it, and if someone tried to talk to him, he could use it to occupy his mouth.
No one tried to talk to him, though. Even Lucas had gotten distracted by a hushed argument with Leclair. In fact, everyone but Leclair's roommate was immersed in conversations with other people, but at least that meant they weren't laughing at him.
He kept his eye on Leclair's roommate as he himself retreated to a corner where he could be alone and drink his drink. Would the other guys begin to see him like that if he didn't try to loosen up a little? After all, Lucas and Tobias were alright. Vincent and Angel seemed like pretty okay guys, too. It was only Leclair and Gimsing that he still wasn't sure about, but when he thought about it, neither of them were any worse or even different from his classmates at his old school. Leclair was just another rich bully and Gimsing was probably just a quiet theater kid.
He felt a lot better once he finished his drink—more relaxed, somehow, even though it hadn't helped to cool him down at all. He stepped away from the wall he had been leaning against and stood up straight. Just holding the drink gave him something to do with his hands, which helped alleviate his nervous energy if nothing else. He saw a row of untouched juice bottles on Gimsing's desk across the room. He saw his chance to turn things around and took it, walking over to get another one just to hold, hoping that taking the initiative to place himself deeper into the lion's den would help get things rolling in the right direction. There were a few guys crowded around the desk—maybe he would even be the one to say hi to them first.
7
"You need to stop acting like such a spoiled brat," Lucas told Leclair. "What if you had gotten to him first and I began acting towards him the way you're acting right now? What would you tell me then?"
"I'd tell you to stop fucking around or I'll dropkick you into the sun."
"Precisely. So stop being a sore loser and give the fuck up."
When he turned to see where Alfie had gone off to, he didn't see him at first and briefly wondered (with relief) if he had wandered off back to his own room. After a moment he saw him chatting with a couple of other guys across the room. He made a beeline for him, hoping no one else was trying to sneak a taste of what was rightfully his.
"Alfie? Are you okay?"
Alfie smiled up at him and wobbled slightly. "Don't worry about me, Lucas. I'm feeling a lot better."
Lucas could smell the fruity, fermented scent of wine coolers mixed with vodka coming off of him. He noticed an empty juice bottle on the desk near Alfie and cursed himself for letting Leclair distract him from his mission so badly.
"Alfie! How much of this stuff did you drink?!"
"Oh shit, the kid is wasted already!" Leclair appeared beside Lucas like a gnat that couldn't be shooed away and clapped his hands in joy. "What a lightweight."
"What do you expect?" said Angel, who had also come over to watch. "He weighs like ninety pounds."
"One-hundred and eighteen!" Alfie corrected him. He pitched forward. Lucas caught him.
"Come on, Alfie, let's find you a nice, soft seat over here." He led him to sit on the end of Gimsing's bed.
"Hi!" Alfie cheerfully greeted the black hole of a human, and then toppled over onto his back.
"Get him out of here." Leclair's roommate didn't actually speak the words out loud, but with the expression he had on his face, he didn't have to.
"Change of plans, Alfie. Upsy-daisy." Lucas hoisted him back up and clumsily waltzed around looking for an empty space where he could plop him down. Alfie latched onto his side and nuzzled his face against his shoulder. Both Lucas and Leclair's mouths dropped open at this sudden burst of affection.
"I'm so glad I met you, Lucas."
"The feeling is mutual, Alfie."
Lucas looked at Leclair as he spoke, almost elated to see him seething with jealousy. He stuck his tongue out at the blond brat, who was quickly turning green with envy. Leclair glanced at Gimsing, and Lucas knew exactly what was in store for them that night.
"Is it all too much for you to handle, Danny Boy?"
"Asshole. That should be me right now," Leclair said, staring at the way Alfie kept his head on Lucas's shoulder like a lovestruck girl dancing with her date at prom.
"We can't always have everything we want. No, not even The Daniel Leclair. He seems pretty attached to me already, doesn't he? Maybe this would be a good time for me to take him for a test drive—" Lucas dodged a spiral-bound notebook that was launched at his head. Alfie didn't even budge. "Oh, don't be a sore loser. You've got, what? Ten others to yourself this semester? Give me a break, you spoiled brat."
"It's a matter of quality, not quantity."
"That's rich, coming from you." He turned to address Alfie, but wasn't sure if he could even hear him. "Come on Alfie, let's walk it off."
He helped him to the door, planning to take him back to his room before any more trouble could find them.
Ha. As if trouble was possible to avoid in Madison Dorm.
8
It was the dead of night when Alfie began sobering up. He was in his new bed, wide awake and overly aware of how dark and still everything was. The combination of new school nerves, homesickness, and his first indulgence in hard alcohol had his stomach all twisted up. The way the room was tilting reminded him of when his family had spent a week aboard his uncle's houseboat three summers ago. He had hated the feeling back then, and it was even worse now, because at least on the houseboat he had been with his family, and his family had still loved him.
The bright moon shining in his face through the slats in the blinds became blurry through the hot tears that began to well. He should be cozy in his own bed right now, not feeling queasy on a hard mattress next to some complete stranger.
A lump came to his throat and he bolted upright in his bed. Vincent stirred but didn't wake up. Alfie tried to be quiet but swift as he jumped to his feet and headed for the door.
He ran down the hall, praying that he would make it to the bathroom in time, and that he was going in the right direction. He was about to push through the swinging door when the sound of voices coming from within brought him to a dead halt.
"Stay still!" someone hissed.
"You're being too rough!" the second voice nearly sobbed.
Alfie pushed on the door ever so slightly and peeked in. His stomach churned and begged him to simply ignore whoever was in there, but he couldn't bear the thought of bursting into the room to spew if there were other people there to witness it. He knew the story would spread all over campus by morning, and henceforth he would be known as the wimpy kid who blew chunks his second night there.
"Why can't we just go back to our room before—"
"Shhh! I don't feel like cleaning up the mess tonight."
Alfie caught a flash of movement in the mirror that spanned the wall above the row of sinks. He opened the door a bit more, just enough to see if he could determine what was going on.
It was Leclair, and it looked like his roommate, Gimsing, too. Both were totally naked. Showering in the middle of the night?
Alfie's nausea doubled when he grasped the extent of his own naïveté. Of course they weren't bathing. That was made clear by the way the roommate was bent forward, his knuckles as white as the porcelain sink he was grasping onto, and how Daniel Leclair was behind him, his hips pulling back and violently lurching forward again and again and again…
"Enjoying the show?"
Alfie's chest constricted at the warm breath on his ear and the fingers dancing over his lower back. The shock was the last straw and he bolted for the staircase, running for the front door to finally offer his stomach contents to the nearest bush, and then the world went spinning, spinning, spinning
Black.
9
Alfie cracked open an eye and lifted a hand to block out the blinding light. His vision came into focus, and he wished he could pass out again once he realized that Lucas, Leclair, and Gimsing were all gathered around him.
He was in the infirmary, judging from the pungent antiseptic smell. As the seconds passed and he regained more of his wits, he also began to realize that it wasn't just those three that were looking at him; the resident nurse and Vincent also rounded out his audience.
This had to be the worst day of his life, which was really saying a lot.
"Starting to feel better?" The elderly nurse took his wrist to feel his pulse.
"No." His throat burned from the stomach acid and alcohol. "What happened?"
"You passed out and banged your head pretty bad on the walkway outside your dormitory. New school jitters," she stated with complete confidence. "I get boys in here from time to time who make themselves sick they're so panicked about coming to St. Francis. You're lucky you only got a bruise and not a concussion."
"If you say so," he said. Or it's what he tried to say. What actually came out was a Frankensteinesque moan.
"And just what are the rest of you boys doing here, as a matter of interest?" She turned to face the others. "Did it really require four of you to carry him here?"
"Well, I was the first one to find him," Lucas said, as if that made it only natural that he should be there. "I heard someone running down the hallway and went to see what was going on. I saw him run down the stairs and go out the front door, so I followed him. Good thing, huh?"
"Yeah, we heard a commotion, too, and wanted to know what was going on," Leclair answered for both himself and his roommate.
"I'm in the same dorm room as him, and when I woke up and noticed he wasn't there I thought I should check to make sure he hadn't gotten lost," Vincent added. "These guys were already with him when I got there, but I felt I should come to the infirmary anyway out of a sense of camaraderie."
"What can we say? We were all concerned for the little guy." Leclair shrugged and pocketed some cherry cough drops while the nurse wasn't looking.
I'm sure each of you only had the best of intentions, but he's in good hands now. Need I remind you that you start your first classes in just a few hours? Go back to your rooms."
"Should I hang around to help him back?" Vincent asked.
"That won't be necessary. He should just rest here for as long as he needs to, and then I'll escort him back to his room when he's ready."
"Actually, I think I'd like to go back now." Alfie tried to stand up on his own, but his legs were like jelly.
The nurse didn't look too convinced. "Are you sure you can manage?"
"Yes ma'am. I would be more comfortable in my own bed." The one in New Jersey.
"Well, I guess if you're sure, I have no reason to want to keep you here. Here, you'd better take an ice pack with you. You boys make sure he gets back safely, okay?"
"We will, Nurse Josephine," Leclair said, sweet as aspartame and even more fake.
Alfie accepted Lucas's offer to hold on to his shoulder for support on the way out. The more he walked around, the more he realized how dizzy he still was. His head was swimming, and he was pretty sure his eyes were crossed. St. Francis was situated on acres upon acres of soft grass, so it figured his head would land on a three-foot wide strip of concrete.
Once they reached his room, Lucas helped him to his bed, then everyone aside from Vincent bade him a good night and retired to their own rooms. At least that's what Alfie thought, until Leclair and his roommate returned a few moments later.
"Um, thanks for your help? Goodnight," Alfie said.
Leclair kicked the door shut and moved in closer. "How much did you see?"
"What?"
"Don't play innocent. What did you see in the bathroom earlier?"
Alfie looked to Vincent for help and realized there was none to be gotten from him. He had a totally blank expression on his face, which Alfie didn't like. It was the same kind of look his mother got when his dad was scolding him about something and she wanted to pretend she couldn't hear it.
He looked at Leclair's roommate next; his expression wasn't any better. He looked almost as sick as Alfie felt. Alfie almost pitied him just then. Not as much as he pitied himself.
"Look, I don't know what you're talking about. I just remember feeling really sick, so I tried to find the bathroom, but I guess I got lost in the dark and ended up outside. And now I feel even worse than I did to begin with, so do you mind letting me have some peace and quiet so I can sleep it off?"
All three guys stared at him so long Alfie began to wonder if he had hit his head so hard he had, in fact, died and gone to hell.
"Nice try, but you're full of shit, Alfred Cotton," Leclair said, breaking the long silence. "It's not like it's really a secret, anyway. Everyone here does it. You were going to find out sooner or later."
"Everyone here does what?" Alfie nearly shouted, genuinely confused.
"Sex!"
Ah.
Leclair gestured to his roommate. "It's not like he and I are lovers or anything. It's just that there are no girls around for miles. Something has to be done to keep from going batshit insane in this place!"
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?"
Everyone looked up to find Tobias in the doorway, looking fairly disheveled and incredibly disturbed.
"The bathroom!" Alfie exclaimed, suddenly remembering everything. "You and Gimsing were—" He cut himself off before he could dig his hole even deeper. As if that were possible. He already seemed to be at the earth's magma core.
Tobias scrunched up his nose and made a noise like he had just stumbled upon a dead body. Alfie hated himself for thinking this, but it made him feel better, however marginally, to have someone else suffer along with him at a time like this.
"The bathroom!" Tobias repeated, sounding equal parts incredulous and as if he were having an epiphany. "I knew there was something off about you fucking perverts! I wish I had just stayed in my room. No—on second thought I'm glad I walked in just now. Now nobody will be able to surprise attack me."
"Cut the melodrama, Kinsella," Leclair said. "Didn't you wonder how you would be able to take care of certain needs once you noticed the lack of privacy in this place?"
Tobias's mouth gaped open. "Oh God, It's bad enough that you're a douchebag, but a psychic douchebag? That's one of the worst combinations a person can be."
"Fuck you, Kinsella."
Tobias took a step backward into the hall, where he could make a break for it if Leclair meant that as a literal threat.
"And no, I'm not a mind reader," Leclair said with a roll of his eyes. "That's just the first thought that runs through every guy's mind once he arrives at St. Francis. They designed it this way on purpose, you know. They're trying to make jacking off nearly impossible, to keep us from having impure thoughts. Well, it doesn't work that way, does it? Eventually the stress builds up in you so much that you lose your mind and just start fucking the first thing you see, even if it's another guy. It's not so bad if you close your eyes and try to imagine a pretty girl, though. And it's definitely better than four years of your own hand for company."
"I have some bad news for you, Leclair," Tobias said. "You've already gone batshit insane!" He spun around and stalked back to his room, looking like he was trying to brush off invisible creepy-crawlies from his skin.
"When I hit my head on the sidewalk earlier…did I die? Am I in hell?" Alfie wondered. Yes, that had to be it. That was the only logical explanation as to why this was happening to him right now.
"Look," he said, raising his voice as loud as he could stand it, "it's none of my business what you people do. I'm tired and I don't feel well. Can everybody please just get out of this room?"
Everything went dead silent for a brief moment.
"Did you guys hear that? The little squirt just yelled at us!" Leclair exclaimed. Alfie gripped onto his sheets and braced himself to be schooled on Madison Dorm's food chain. Instead, Leclair laughed and headed for the door. "I wouldn't have guessed he had it in him," he added merrily, then he and his roommate finally withdrew back to their own room.
"You knew all along, didn't you?" he said to Vincent after the lights had been turned out. "You weren't going to say anything?"
"Not every single guy here does it," Vincent said quietly, a half-hearted defense for himself. He didn't try to say anything more. Apparently even he knew he should just keep his mouth shut and give Alfie some space so he could absorb everything that had happened. Unfortunately, there was no space to give him in their tiny room, so he just got back in bed and sighed as Alfie pulled his covers up over his head to hide himself from the world.
10
Tobias returned to his room feeling so grossed out that he thought he might need a shower, but then he remembered where the scene of the crime had allegedly occurred and groaned. He would never feel truly clean taking showers in that bathroom now that he knew what had gone on in there. He had gotten out of bed with the simple mission to tell the guys across the hall to put a sock in it, only to stumble upon a den of iniquity. PERFECT.
He got back into bed, but he knew there was little chance of him getting back to sleep any time soon. He had been quiet coming back in out of courtesy, but he knew Angel was only pretending to be asleep because he didn't want to be questioned about what had just occurred. He knew he had heard it all. If the walls weren't paper thin, he wouldn't have had to find out what he did in the first place, which only came to pass because he had heard a commotion in Alfie and Vincent's room and had gotten up to see what it was about.
"Did you know you're living with degenerates?" he asked.
"So you found out already?"
Tobias snorted. "'Already'? Yeah, I did. And thank God it came out this soon. Were you ever going to let me in on the secret?"
"I believe you'll find I already hinted at it to you. I just felt that it wasn't my place to go ahead and explain the game to your face."
"The game?" Tobias repeated. "That's all it is to you?"
"That's all it is to the guys that play it."
"And you don't?"
"No, I don't," Angel said. "Not everyone here does."
"You know about it, though."
"Yeah. I know about it."
"And you keep quiet and make it easier for the ones who do." A shiver ran through Tobias's body. "Ugh. No wonder Alfie was sick." He pressed his pillow over his head and rolled over, trying to think about anything else.
At least he felt vindicated about his intuition about that asshat Leclair. He remembered watching the way he repetitively squeezed and relaxed his hands as he spoke about losing his mind and fucking whatever was available. Talk about pent-up rage. It was a little ironic that the one guy who was a student at St. Francis simply due to familial ties rather than a behavioral disorder seemed to be the one with the highest chance to be the most disturbed. A psychiatrist would have a field day with that guy.
And what was worse…
Tobias couldn't get Leclair's roommate out of his head. Gimsing's face while he had been standing there, having his role as Leclair's cum bucket publicly announced to everyone, was imprinted in the darkness behind his eyelids. He didn't look proud of it, or possibly like he wasn't even a willing participant. That explained a lot about his behavior so far. Tobias couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
He fell asleep thinking of him, wondering what his story might be.