It has officially been a week since I failed for the third time, I let my parents and my pack down. Though mom tries to cover it up I know Dad and Alpha Ronan are mad, disappointed. They've been avoiding me, and I, in turn have been avoiding them. Tasks that they would have usually been given to me like patrolling or training the young pups, they give Jenna instead. Guess they had finally realized how incompetent I was. Meanwhile, She had proved her self over and over again.
Now she was getting what she wanted, whenever I felt like fighting, I would remember how she and her team took me out.
I bet they laugh about how I couldn't fight back, how I couldn't run faster, then Jenna's words come back to me, she was right. How could I lead a pack of wolves if I couldn't even fight, speed wasn't always the defining factor in a fight, neither was strength? I knew that much but I wasn't proficient at any of them.
A knock on my door brought me out of my thoughts, "Taylor? I'm coming in."
It was Dad. He came in and let the door shut behind him. He took me in, my curled position on my bed, I hadn't brushed my hair this morning, but I had showered and brushed my teeth. I looked marginally presentable. I felt his eyes studying every inch of me, my father was famous for that penetrating gaze of his, you couldn't hide a thing from him. The infamous beta Trevor of The Heaven's gauntlet pack, My father.
I felt like curling into a ball and disappearing. This was the first time I'd seen him, since I went for the trials a month ago. While he studied me, I studied him, he hadn't shaved for awhile, he looked slightly tired, but not by much. He was probably stressed over what to do with me. He was in quite a dilemma, we both knew what me failing again meant. So did the pack, even if no one in the pack had the guts to say it to my face or to his.
I took him in, probably the last time he would look at me without scorn or disappointment.
He looked the same as he did when he wished me luck and goddess's mercies when I set off for the challenge a month ago. Strong, intimidating, unshakable.
I cringed at the silence and awkwardness in the room, it wasn't usually like this with dad. I mean dad wasn't usually so quite. What was I going to do when he made his decision known to me? No doubt cry again. It would hurt that much.
I was a daddy's girl, he was the one I hated to disappoint the most. "Dad I—" He held up a hand to silence me, I turned away in shame. I knew what was coming, I'd been hiding from him for a week.
"Taylor," that's all he said, then there was silence, I couldn't stop myself, I looked up to see his expression. "Dad?" I asked hesitatingly, my eyes widened in surprise, he had his arms out, I didn't even hesitate, I was scared, but I missed him, I loved him. I ran into his arms and held him tightly.
"Dad, I'm sorry, I have no excuse, I'm a disappointment."
Unwillingly tears I didn't know I held back, poured out of me, I felt like I was proving that I was pathetic. He just kept silent, which meant he was thinking the same. "I'm sorry dad, I won't be weak anymore. I will... I will."
What was I going to do? I couldn't make promises I hadn't made before. Couldn't do things any differently
"Taylor. Shhh. Let it out." He said
I looked at him and let it all out, everything I was holding in. He just held me as I clung to him.
"I really am sorry daddy, I don't know how to make it up to you, please don't hate me. I deserve it, but please don't." He pushes me away from him sharply, I knew I had asked for too much.