"I am sorry about him. He is a cautious person. But he is nice. Seon is the reason why I changed my career changed last 2 years ago. He said my manager is too lazy. And now I got a stricter one today hahaha."
"Oh but what does he mean by 'what happened to you last time'"
"Ah, about that... I encountered an obsessed fan of mine. It was 2 years ago too, I still haven't changed my manager at that time. I help them once in the cafe and manage to know my address and started stalking me and Jeremy. It's a mess but they end up having a restraining order now. And have to change our apartment."
"I... Didn't know that."
"Well, I am still not a piece of big news that time. Probably that news is easily buried in Yohan's new commercial. People talk about it for days."
I am just a fan of his year ago... So there are already some avid fans out there and dangerous ones.
Now that I think about it, the reason why I am in Korea was just that I just want to meet my idol personally. And buy those idol merchandise and kinds of stuff... Just knowing he's just around the corner is also an exciting idea...
I hold up the thought.
I might be the person he really should be worrying about. I invade his personal life. More I invade his wife's feelings. Or whatever happened to us.
I took a silent vow long ago to be contented just being a fan and not invade Dohyung's private life...
But it seems I am already broken that vow when I meet him and meet his family... I am the reason why their happy marriage is shattering... I cause too much pain to Dohyung already. I should have avoided him since the beginning.
"Hey, Sarah, whatever Seon just said forget it. I don't mind you being around. I'm actually glad you are around." Dohyung pulled me back to reality.
"No..."
"Hmm did you say something?"
"No. He is right. I cause you too much trouble it's all my fault. I'm so sorry "
"Sarah? Hey. Are you ok?" He tried to reach for me but I backed away. I grabbed my bag nearby and run away from the studio.
Run away as far as I could.
Then I walked aimlessly at the park. Everything is already dark and I found an empty swing.
The guilt in my heart is eating me...
How dare I proudly said I am his fan? I cause too much trouble to him. I should just stay in my hometown and be contented to be his fan there. I shouldn't let myself be close to him in the first place.
Everything went blurred and tears falls from my eyes. Everything is a mess... I am a mess... He is too kind for his own good and I am abusing it. This deep guilt in my core is wrecking me... I definitely don't know what to do.
I feel a drop of water on top of my head and looked up. More droplets are falling now...
Suddenly it rained. Making me soaking wet. I checked my watch,
I realized I also lost my apartment and currently don't have a house to stay. And my luggage are currently at the agency.
I went to the agency but it's already closed.
"Ah what a luck. I will let it stored there for now."
I booked at the nearby motel and stayed there to sleep. I decided to go earlier for the office tomorrow to get my clothes.
--------
The next morning, the sun had just risen. I walked out of the storage room and saw Seon waiting outside. My whole existence wants to jump out from the shock.
"I am sorry yesterday, the manager talked to me and cleared things for me. For now, I know, Dohyung is still protected by contract unless you have something up in your sleeves." He obviously still doesn't trust me...
I shake my head. "... I would never..." and looked down at the floor. I never dreamed of doing something bad like that especially since I have too many problems at hand...
"And I remember you came to the agency with your yesterday clothes. Did you just change inside?"
"Huh!?"
"You probably didn't notice I am the earliest celebrity who goes to this agency. Did you just sleep in here?"
"Eh, why do you have to come so early?"
"Well I don't want to talk to a lot of people... Anyway do you want coffee?"
I took his offer and brought him to the cafe just inside the agency. In my shock, he treats me again.
"Well, I just want you to know. Whatever you planning with Dohyung, don't ever do it. He is too nice to this industry." Then he took a sip of his coffee.
"I swear I'm just a normal fan of his" probably yeah he inspires me to go to Korea. And got curious about his personal life a bit. And turned out to be too much... But I know what are my limits... Probably... Ha, I'm such a mess. But I keep these thoughts I don't want to also lose my job because of my doubts.
He just started at me and said. "I take your word for now."
Then we have a quiet coffee session. Until I ask.
"Why are you so concerned about him?"
"I promised someone special to me to take care of him. I have debts to her and her family." Looked at his coffee smiling sweetly.
He snapped and looked at me "I will not tell you much more this is my personal life."
"But I didn't ask you."
Then later we just continue our work normally. I am shocked at how full Seon's schedule was. I suddenly became his assistant that day and Manager ask me to take care of him for now since he was also busy with other agents. Sometimes I wonder if is this supposed to be my work...
"I thought you will just be here to observe our work for our website?"
"I thought so too... From website designer to backup sound and light maintenance. Now I promoted to assistant manager yay! I hope my salary increases too. The manager just promise to treat me in some restaurant." I told him lifelessly.
"If you want I can ask the higher-ups to make you full-time manager."
"No need for that. I also don't have legit experience in management."
"No can do. I'll talk to them later. You did a great job today." He pats my shoulder. Warm and nice feelings surrounded me.
"Why are you smiling?" He glared at me again.
"No nothing!"
He smiled at me. "Kidding, I will make sure you will be compensated"