CHAPTER 13
(Past life)
Xue zan:
Every atom of my body was filled with repent, grief and guilt. I stood by the river listening to the swash of the water against the rocks.
I took the hairpin which ornamented her insipid corpse. The sharp ends of the pin punctured my heart. I was enlightened as I watched my blood flow down the river in such a graceful manner just like hers did.
Xiao Xu:
The thoughts of a person are the catalyst to their actions. It is what drives them to what they are potentially going to do.
"Xiao xu, he is practically unconscious! Where is the kindhearted boy I fell in love with? He is certainly not here."
"Why would you do such a thing to him, what did he do to you?"
"Xiao Xu you can find your way to whatever you call home!"
If I just ended it all, Jin Hai would recover without worrying about me, Ling hun would find the man she deserves, Ling yi ge would move on from her old high school love and Shang would actually have a reliable best friend.
I looked at my worthless reflection in the water. I entered the nearby river. As my body slowly merged with the water, flashes of memories came to my mind.
"My maiden may I have this dance with you?"
"I dance with this river for my father."
"If you do not kill You ya de, by sun down, your family would be slaughtered and there was nothing you could do about it!"
The golden hairpin striked the flesh of my heart. My bleeding soul crossed the bridge of the Sanzu waters. The white chrysanthemum rooted to my hands turned black. I felt my body fading away.
"As each petal falls and a new one blooms it brings hope to us too."
A voice woke me from drowning. The cherry blossom petals fell on the surface of the waters.
Ling hun:
The entire body was paralyzed. I had these visions in which I was a dancer at the banks of a river. My father had recently passed away and I became the heiress to all of his property. I recalled a sword stabbing through my forehead. My hopeless soul crossed the bridge of death. The white chrysanthemum turned to black. I felt my soul dying.
"Ling yi ge, what just happened to me?" I asked.
"I… I am not sure you were telling me about "Aunt Qu" and then suddenly your body keeled to the floor and you were paralyzed. I was worried sick. All I did was hold you hands and hoped for the best."- Ling yi ge
"Thank you for looking after me." I said.
"We have to! After all we are sisters."- Ling yi ge
"And nothing in this world can separate us."- Ling hun
"So what did the cassette player say? I have never seen it before." I curiously asked.
She played the cassette for me. Words could not have described how much I wish it never existed.
"Well you can say we are equal. Jin Hai loves me because he thought it was you and Xiao xu loves you because he thought it was me." Ling yi ge giggled.
"I need something to drink, my throat is a little parched." I faintly said.
All I could have done was wipe my tears and stifle the cries. My mind just couldn't come to terms that all along Ling yi ge and Xiao Xu were high school lovers.
In order for us to move on in life, we had to return each other's souls.
I had to make amends with him in order for us to be together and perform the ritual.
"Hey! I am Xiao Xu Sai, you know what to do! Leave a message and I will respond to you as soon as I can."
I tried calling him but voicemail came up. So I had to call Lang Shi.
"Hey… Lang Shi, how are you? Did Jin Hai get discharged?" I asked.
"Oh my god, Ling hun! You would live long enough, I was just thinking about you. We are still on for today right?"- Lang shi
"We will come to that later, is Jin Hai okay?" I sternly questioned.
"Jin Hai is fine, he got discharged as soon as the wounds were dressed. By the way, can you tell Xiao Xu to pick up his bag? He forgot about it."
"Lang shi… Xiao Xu is not with me. I thought he was with you and Shang!?"- Ling hun
"Since last night, he never returned. Shang and I tried calling and realised he left his phone in his backpack."- Lang shi
I hung up the phone as soon as Lang Shi said that. What was I going to do?
"Ling yi ge get in the car! Something is wrong with Xiao xu." I exclaimed.
"Ling hun I think I know where he might be."
As I was processing the probabilities of what could have happened to Xiao Xu and how to save him, Ling yi ge was interrupting my thought space.
"Hold on! I am trying to think!" I yelled.
"Ever…. Ever since he was young, he would go by the cherry blossom trees near the river, he would feel enlightened every time."- Ling yi ge.
"Ling yi ge I would really appreciate it if you had sto....."
Jealousy had corrupted my mind, and now was not the time to be separated from my sister. I could not afford to lose Xiao xu nor Ling yi ge.
"Ling yi ge show me the route to the cherry blossom trees! First place we would check is there!"
(Ling hun phone rings)
"Hey Ling hun, it's Shang. I have some bad news and good news. Which one do you want to hear first?" Shang nervously asked.
"Give me the bad news first, let's just get it over with." I said.
"It turns out Xiao Xu attempted to kill himself by drowning in the river near the cherry blossom trees. Somehow a miracle happened and he was saved before water filled up his lungs. He is with us right now. Come by my house if you want to meet him."- Shang
It was all my fault. From the start, I was not supposed to make Xiao Xu feel insecure by picking up the offer to model with Zai Xin. I should not have allowed Jin Hai to touch me or put on his necklace nor should I have yelled at him at the auditorium. I would make things right, I had to.
"As each petal falls and a new one blooms it brings hope to us too."- Ling yi ge uttered.
"Wait a second, do you think that is what saved Xiao Xu's life?" I asked.
"It did save him back in High school, I would not be surprised if that was the miracle Shang spoke about." she said.
When I bombarded Xiao Xu with the most negative thoughts and feelings, Ling yi ge was the one who knew him all the way and gave him a reason to fight and live. Oh universe were we really destined to meet?