A Motionless Emotions.
Becky was not home when I came back dropping my bag, I hurried to peel off my cloth from my body; I was sweating so I needed a bath.
I entered the bathroom, am not the type who uses the bathtub, but this time I was so tired that I needed to relax my body by soaking it for a while.
Filling up the bathtub with water I climb and settle underneath the water, I give out a heavy sigh as my body feels and responds to the scorching heat of the water; I scrub myself with the body soap, I rinsed and dried my body with my towel humming to a beautiful song I enjoy the most "the most beautiful moment is yet to come" I wiggled my shoulder, I can't recall when last I felt this happy; even though it was a brief moment I still want to enjoy it.
I feed myself from the left over in the fridge, laying down on my bed I bring out my diary, I need to write something about this man I thought. I lay down trying to figure out the perfect words to use and describe him, but my body refuses to cooperate, I stood up climbed on my bed jumping on it like a kid who just got a birthday present from his mother. Remembering I tossed my bag on the dressing mirror stand, I grunted as I ran down to pick my stuff.
I headed back to my room as fast as I could, my thoughts are messy and the best way to clean it is to write about the stranger I met today. I facepalmed myself as I grabbed my writing materials to describe who this man is handsome.
"Hoseok is.......wait…we didn't make a proper introduction";
I was so angry that we didn't introduce ourselves properly, maybe our relationship is the formal type.
Those thoughts alone weakened my brain, I closed my eyes and leaned my head back on my pillow, I couldn't believe I was unable to dig out who Hoseok was; I blamed my brain for this.
' I scream clenching my fists and laying mute for sometimes; facing the ceiling, my body succumbs to the cool breeze of nature and I zoom off to the wonderland of dreams.
*************************************
When I woke up in the morning, my body felt alive again with no grumbling I went to knock on Becky's door
"Good morning, aren't you going out today?" I said as loud as I could without even minding the closed door.
Becky came out after a few minutes, she must have been awake but decided to lock herself up; she returned my greetings with a smile which I respond.
I told her the school sent me an errand so I needed to run it for them "i will just get ready" I said, excusing myself and finding my way to the bathroom.
Becky was happy that Bella acted her usual self, she didn't seem angry or throwing her usual tantrums; she gladly hurried to prepare their breakfast, since ever they fought they stopped eating their food together.
It's true they have been at loggerheads with each other, but it never results to keeping malice and whatever spirit that ministers to her today, she prays it's last long because she Becky also misses her kid sister.
Smiles beamed on her face as she prepared their breakfast, making for her sister her favorite scrambled eggs, she set up the dinning table, once she was done, she hurried to get herself ready too.
I came out of my room and saw the dinning table ready, I had this urge to leave, but my spirit told me to comply; maybe I failed to understand her, perhaps I was the disrespectful one" I thought, pushing my seat to my comfortable position waiting for Becky to finish let's eat together.
I was jolting some words down when I noticed Becky taking her seat opposite me. Breakfast was scrambled eggs and toasted bread with a cup of tea to wash it down, my favorite side dish of toasted bread and tea.
I picked my fork and started digging without minding the world as a whole.
Becky just watched her eating her food, her joy knows no doubt she misses everything about her; she just sits staring at her in between her cup of tea.
Bella noticed how Becky looked at her and dropped her cup, returning the same look to her. Becky, who was fast to catch her questioning look, threw her head backward and gave out a heavy sigh.
"It's fine…. just that…it won't feel alright to leave you alone on the dinning table seeing the plate was for two…or were you expecting any visitor?"
I managed to stutter a word, but Becky averted my gaze, she must be battling her emotions or maybe tearing up "Madam Becky..... A whole Becky tearing up!!
I battled with my thoughts ever since our childhood until now, this must be or probably the first time Becky became nervous, what happened I doubt she was just putting up some show.
Just looking at Becky's state makes me lose my appetite or maybe the supposed meal now tastes salty.
I stared at her for a long time contemplating within me "should I apologize for being rude.....or should I wait for her apologies for picking up a fight with me.
I couldn't find the exact words to say, I have been keeping this misunderstanding inside me for a long time and I need to let it go.
Not only that, but I stood up from my seat I wanted to hug her, to tell her how sorry I was but my body refused to cooperate, my leg stiff instead of letting myself go; a frown settles on my face I picked a glass of water, gulping it down and backing Becky I wasn't able to find the right words, so I decide to flow with the one I could afford.
"How did things turn out this way….how did we arrive here…what happened to the discipline, love, and care we were taught back home?"...what happened to the old and friendly Becky and Bella."
I fought back my tears I can't understand anything anymore, Becky has changed yes she has this strict and bossy attitude, but it keeps getting worse and worst each passing day. I wanted to voice out more, but my throat went dry, allowing only the tears to have it way.
Becky looked both hurt and angry by my words, we both stood still avoiding our gaze, the pain, and anger was too much. Our emotions betrayed us and voicing out will be the best, but we both were out of words.
I couldn't contain my feelings anymore, so I decided to take my leave, banging the door behind me.