I've only been gone for an hour, but these peasants are already pillaging my things!
"Hey, no! Get your hands out of those boxes!"
The soles of my Kobe IV gunned the rocky asphalt as I neared the shack. From here, I could see that about 20 people were gathered in front of the fence, some of them attempting to lift the boxes of my new computer set and sofa. The moment they heard me, they paused and looked at me with their weird, creepy gazes.
I could hear my teeth clapping as I tightened my jaw. I was about to yell at these country bumpkin thieves when the woman closest to me smiled, grabbed my arm, and said, "Goodness gracious, is this him? You look so tall and handsome, young man! I bet lots of gals go turnips when they see you around!"
There's no clear answer why, but I was pinned to my spot. I could only look at the old woman with her black, curly hair the length of an Oompa Loompa's mane. None of the things she said made sense in my boggled head, and the addition of these people crowding around me wasn't helping… There are about 10 of them!
"What?!" I asked with furrowed brows and could only imagine how vicious I looked. I was beginning to feel suffocated. "G—get away from me!"
"Oh, c'mon, Janice! You're scaring the kid." The balding man pitched in and walked closer to me, extending his hand.
He looks about the same age as my dad. Actually, all of them do.
"My name is Norman, and this gabby rad is my wife, Janice." He then pointed at the women beside me, "Right there's Evelyn, Lilian, and Ivy." I turned my head to the three women, and they each welcomed my sight with a smile I couldn't reciprocate.
Their motherly features look almost similar, only their physical differences are obvious. Ivy had brown curly hair and a crooked smile. Evelyn seemed like a strict teacher with her glasses along with her fake leer. And Lilian wears this floral-patterned dress that makes it seem like she's an academic scholar in her younger years.
Is it bad that they remind me of a certain movie?
"Stay away from these housewives 'cause they're talkative, but they're a big help," Norman continued.
"And here's some brawny briskets in this town you can hang on to!" Norman then pointed at the two guys about the same age as him. My brows raised automatically. "This one's Harvey. He owns the corn cobs on your right."
So, the spacious farm pasture belongs to him, huh?
"Hey, kiddo! If you need some handy-dandy help, I'm here!" Harvey greeted me with a slap on my back.
I flinched at the strength of that. He sure is a strong old bastard.
"And this handsome fella here is Jim. Now, he may look young, but he's old, alright!"
"Oh, shut up, Norm. My wife keeps me young!" Jim mentioned, and Lilian sneered. "Well, raggity! Because you sure keep making white strands appear on my crown!"
"Whatever! Anyway, young man… how's the drive here?" Jim asked.
"It sure was a long way, isn't it? It probably took hours!" Ivy seconded.
Honestly, I didn't know how to react or what to say after that. My face contorted into a freaky frown. I'm just tired and clueless as to why they were welcoming me this way? Did they need something?
My eyes rolled on their own. Sighing, I didn't answer their question and asked, "I… What are you doing here going through my things?"
Perhaps a hostile approach isn't the best, considering I just got here, but the hell I care?
"Oh, honey! This brings me back." Someone else pitched in, and he quite resembled George Clooney with his brown uniform and gigantic hat. A badge sits on his chest, and a cigarette hangs loose on his lips. Who's this now?
"He definitely does, Sheriff!" Janice said, and they laughed.
What the heck are they talking about?
The sheriff then scanned me and pulled his palm out. "My name's Theodore. Town sheriff. Yours is?"
Theodore had this weird, dominating aura that I very much disliked, but his tone sounded kinda soft. I admit that I still hated this much attention from these kinds of people, but I had no choice, so I answered.
"J—Joaquin… Joaquin Astley."
Silence enveloped us for a good second before they gave me a collective chuckle. Then, like a choir, they unanimously jeered, "Welcome to Honeycreek, Joaquin!"
The warm smile they wore glinted under the soft moonlight. A faint brush of wind flew past us, and it seemed like the stars twinkled even brighter. I looked to my back to peek at the talkative woman who badgered me about this place, but she was nowhere to be found.
I shrugged it off… perhaps, she had a point.
"Uh… Okay?" is all I could ever say.
Thankfully, Janice took the spotlight by yelling, "And now, let's get your things inside!" She then pulled me as everyone moved around, collecting my things and elapsing the fence of my shabby shack.
"What do you mean?" I asked as they dragged me inside. I happened to notice that they brought some things with them. Some dusting items, bulbs, and I think Lilian was carrying a broom.
"Well, with that handsome face of yours, we can't let you stay in a house like this! Do you know that you'll be the only person occupying this crumbling shack after 23 years?" Ivy uttered.
"R-really?" The thought alone scares me; how much more if I started living inside?
"Yeah! So, let's move now and get to the cleaning before your bedtime. You have class tomorrow, and it's early!"
They know that too?!
We got to the patio, and my eyes remained steeled on the crumbling door. All of them were behind me, waiting.
I mean, at least I'm not alone if I open this door now, right?
Heaving a deep breath, my hands held the knob. I twisted it, shoved the door away, and stepped back a little.
Janice, Norman, and I coughed in unison since we were at the front. Clouds of accumulated dust and contrivances nearly obliterated me. Good thing I don't have asthma!
We let the pixies calm down before we entered one by one. Of course, I stepped in first, and the whole time, my jaw remained open.
I sauntered inside the dark and musty area. With my eyes dancing across the small living space, my brows furrowed.
That bastard didn't even prepare this place for me.
Right now, I'm standing in front of an empty room the size of my previous bathroom. Everything is made of either wood or lanky metal. Cobwebs were everywhere, and I'm pretty sure some of these spiders are poisonous.
There's not even a single couch present, and only a wooden table with a single chair is there, which brings my eyesight to the kitchen area. There's no island, just a narrow vanity that houses the sink and the pipes under the cabinet.
"It isn't that bad," Theodore murmured in his raspy old voice, stepping next to me and turning the sink on.
Not bad? Is he serious?
"See? It works," Theodore commented with a wide smile, gunning for the running water.
They then began to scatter around the area and cleaned around, some of them bringing my things inside. I didn't bother to help because it's not like I forced them to do this.
Ignoring my now crowded home, I walked to the right side, where the only two doors of this shack were pitched. I checked the one closer to me and it was the bathroom.
"What the?" I stare at the bathtub. I mean, is it even a bathtub? It has this weird small space under it and had some sort of knobs. I don't even know what those are for, but Harvey suddenly appeared next to me.
"This is a Japanese furo tub. You have to use these knobs to turn the heater on, but…" Harvey contrived the loose wires and stuff there, eventually saying, "Yup… That'll take some tools. In the meantime, you can use some firewoods so you can have a hot tub."
"Firewoods?"
"Yup. It ain't new here, boy. We collect firewoods to cook, clean, smoke, and something somethin'. Don't worry, fella. I'll help you fix this thing."
Shit! So, does this mean I have to go out and… collect wood to take a bath? This town has a colder climate, so bathing with hot water is the only way to go.
But fuck it! I will never take a bath as long as I'm here.
I walked out of there and into the next door.
I opened it and, "Damn it." It's the bedroom, but it doesn't have a bed. Looks like I have to sleep with the mattress on the floor since I didn't bring a frame. It all traces back to me, though. I have to make room for my ATI Radeon, so I didn't bother to secure a bed frame.
Also, I figured earlier that my father would have shit ready for me.
But as usual, that motherfucker let me down.
I walked out of the room in annoyance. My face was beyond recognition when Norman hauled his sweaty arms at me. "What's making you gloomy, young boy?"
"Yeah, are you missing your family in the city?" My attention was turned to Evelyn, who was sweeping the floor. I looked around and saw all of them tidying the place up while placing my things inside.
"No…" I answered firmly.
"Ah, that's absolute bull!" Norman said and then they laughed.
What's so funny about that?! Also, I'm not lying. These people are so annoying. Can't they just clean my house and shut up?
"Tch!" I pulled myself away and walked outside to check if they missed some things of mine.
Upon checking outside, it seems like everything has been brought inside. So, I once again scan the vicinity to see if that nosy, annoying woman is around.
"Where the hell is that woman?"
I mumbled as I looked at the spot where I left her. I can't believe that she just disappeared like that without helping the others clean my place. Seriously? After insulting me and such?! Shouldn't she offer me some kind of apology?
I was about to go back inside when a weird, fat man halted my pace. I froze when I saw the drool gushing down his chin. He had eyes reminiscent of my answer sheet, blank as fuck. I was about to scream since I sensed danger, but when he hauled like a gorilla, I took a step back and fell butt-first on the gravel. Why do I keep falling?
"Ahh…" He mutters in his deep, scary voice. He then took a step closer and I managed to catch a glimpse of his unruly long hair. He had quite a stubble that made him look homeless. His shirt and pants had holes, and he didn't smell nice.
"W—what are you?!"