And yeah, I died. Not at the hands- or is it bumper?- of truck kun, nor did I get stabbed. And I definitely, under no circumstances, went out in a blazing ball of fire, but I died because I slipped on a banana peal . I have no words. And like that, I black out… before instantly waking up again.
Wow. Like, wow. That was anticlimactic. I didn't even get to finish off watching GAME OF THRONES. I mean there are a ton of other regrets in my life, but like… damn…my por*hub subscription…
And so, I start looking around, trying to gauge my situation. Hmm, this is the void? Or do you call it limbo? Maybe some sort of gods realm? And looking at myself, I can confirm I'm just a blob of ethereal… stuff. I'm not sure if I like the white colour though…
SOUL- "What next? Am I gonna get reincarnated? I hope so, but I didn't exactly die by Truck-kun so I don't know if I can get a reincarnation coupon or something."
While I was thinking of such things, a fucking banana appears out of nowhere 'omae wa mou shinderu' style.
???- "You can."
SOUL- "Woah, please don't do that."
That scared the shit out of me. I nearly had a heart attack… Do I even have a heart? I assume not, I'm sure I'm in what is called a "soul state" or something. Now that I think about it, how am I even talking…?
???- "S-sorry! It's my first time doing this after all…"
SOUL- "No no, take your time. I assume you're my ROB?"
ROB- "Yes! I'll be reincarnating you."
This ROB, as I mentioned before, looks like a giant banana . Its voice is a mix of both a male and a female, so I'm not sure of its gender, not that I'm sure banana even have a gender. But it looks like I'll be reincarnating eh? I gotta admit, I'm pretty excited.
SOUL- "Wait, you said it's your first time? Am I going to be ok?"
ROB- "Yes, you should be completely fine! I've already read the 'How 2 ROB 4 Dummies' guide book."
…
Am I going to be ok!? Can I ask for a personnel change, please!?
ROB- "Don't look at me like that! It's written by Truck-senpai, and he's a reincarnating pro!"
I'm a fucking giant banana how do you know what I look like!? Right, calm down. Truck-kun is famous enough that even mortals like me know about him. I should be fine… hopefully?
ROB- "Well, it's just that it's the reincarnation candidate don't usually died from slipping on a banana peal , so this is the first time I'm doing this…"
So I would be meeting with Truck-kun if I died because of him? Damn, talk about a wasted opportunity.
SOUL- "Riiiiight… so what's the deal? Reincarnation into a world of my choice and 3 wishes?"
I mean, that's the default reincarnation package. I already have a general idea of my wishes and the world I want to go to, so this should be easy!
ROB- "No."
*Crack*
ARGH! MY HOPES AND DREAMS! WHY MUST YOU DO ME LIKE THAT, ROB!?
ROB- "Well, not exactly. you will get to choose from this second hand wish granting interface depending on your meter of karma you can choose and modify your wishes "
SOUL- "What do you mean second handed ?
ROB-(embarrassed) " You see i am a new employee my dad worked here before me he is retired and has given me the work so i didn't get my own interface so the top senior one of the truck kun gave me his old used interface, it just that once you select a wish you can't get it twice you would have to refill it with energy for it to grant the wish and i don't have that much power "
SOUL- "(sad)So i cannot select the used wishes ha (depressed) !"
ROB-(PANIC) "YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO DEPRESSED SE I I HAD MY INTERFACE I COULD ONLY GRANT YOU MINOR WISHES BUT WITH THIS INTERFACE YOU HAVE A LOT OF OPTIONS AND THEY ARE POWERFUL TOO"said rob hurriedly as it was his first time .
SOUL- "Ok no use crying over spilt milk ! let me just tell you my wishes i can't search i am really not in the mood "
ROB-"YES SIR"(loud)
SOUL- "(confused) whatever , can i have world travel "(squinting eyes)
ROB-" i can give you that , but it will be random but you can choose the genre and it has 5 year cool-down time ."
SOUL- " ok. for the next wish tensura slime's abilities "
ROB-" no sorry already taken even the weakest form has been taken when he arrived in tensura sorry "
SOUL- " bummer!! can give me Charlotte anime's mc's plunder skill "
ROB-"no some one beat you to it "
SOUL- " fuck all are fucking bastards !!! can you check if One For All, ALL FOR ONE, OVERHAUL ,NEW ORDER (My Hero Academia)
ROB-" No all the op quirks have been taken there a still skills like zoom , acid , toad , minor quirks remaining do you want that "even the rob was feeling upset now
SOUL- "(disappointed) i should have expected it can you check if there any skill remaining to naruto , fate , marvel ,dc , Dragon Ball , The Seven Deadly Sins , Jujutsu Kaisen , Code Geass , One-Punch Man , Death Note , watchmen , etc
ROB-" the are common skill but all op stuff has been taken they have licked it clean "
SOUL- " fuck, son's of b*tches !!!! "
SOUL- " wait if i use recent manga /manwha abilities then i think i can get some of those sweat skills !!!!"
ROB-" smart thinking hats of !! so what is the wish you want "
SOUL- "Pet shop ability in his latest chapters ( I GROW STRONG BY EATING MANWHA )"
ROB-"that an awesome skill but you will loose much of karma are you sure ?"
SOUL- "(thinking) yeah you are right you can give me the ability when he has consumed nothing."
ROB-" ok that saves your karma by a lot . now what next "
SOUL- " i have never been good at skills or talent i have had a lot of problem with that so i will choose this ability i have modified
THE END modified
-(can be 120% better than the person's skills, talent & experience instantly)
-(mastery of any object to 120%)
(limitations: 1]must have the physical or magical capacity.2] must see the person/object)
ROB-" surprisingly it other modified version was in which it copies the powers other people guess you got lucky even with limitation and advantages you added it is a pretty good skill .
ROB-" so tell me why you took this skill"
SOUL- "you see i was never good at any skills such as singing, dancing , study , when your parents praise other children in front you it kinda hurt i tried to ignore but it is true if you have skill you become popular with girls i tried to learn gutair to impress a girl but i gave up half way this will help me . Don't you also feel about your higher ups ? "
ROB-"(touched) so true these guys over here look down on me because i got this job from my father and the girls here don't give two f*ck about you and flock to those douch bags who just look good "(emotional)[this guy really is like me ]
SOUL- " this skill will at lest make sure i can get a job in those random world i got to "(satisfied)
SOUL- " so for the next wish Wisdom King Raphael"
ROB-" not available even Raphael was taken by some "
SOUL- " i will have a modified great sage it ok "
ROB-"tell me(exited)"[this feels so exciting i know now why dad retired so late]
SOUL- " remove the world connection to it without it i cannot get information about the world instead i want soul and mind protection with unlimited space for memories and information so i don't overload my brain and run out of space , how's that ?"
ROB-"Excellent even if you removed its one of the imp it is still a good skill , you know i have always hated these reincarnated guys so much like if you ask memories of another character it will override your brain and you will lose true self (emotional) i am really thankful that my first client has some commonsense thank you god!!! "
SOUL- " i thought that to !! "
ROB-" so your next wish "
SOUL- " i really like to cook but i am lazy i just want the food to taste good however i make with pet shop ability i will never get fat , so i know the perfect skill "
ROB-" it is what ? tell me now right now ?"(over excited)
SOUL- " Shino's cook skill from tensura "
ROB-" from where do you get these from ?"(impressed)
SOUL- " i have done extensive research from which skill are useful when you are a loner you do have time for a lot of things "
SOUL- " i want my own mobile phone with a god speed internet connection to my original world i don't want additional enchantment on it like when it is broken it will repair it self or return to owner when it is lost or unbreakable or unlimited battery , i have to save my remaining for next wishes "
ROB-" are you sure ?"(troubled)
SOUL- "100% sure "
ROB-"as you wish what's next ?"
SOUL- " i have never been popular with girls and i know these skill will not be available is there any i mean any hentai , netori , sex , skills like the d , ideal dick , the last one standing , genderbender , greenhat , god rod , god hands ,any thing i mean any skill can you give me "(puppy dog eyes)
ROB-"you are a pervert aren't you ? but you are honest sadly these reincarnated guys took all the skills but there are only some left and i think you won't like it like a skills that make you a cuckold , makes your dick microsize , give your harem beauty 10/10 and makes their pussies , asshole moist ,lubed and godlike ready to fuck anytime and any dick inside the other than mc becomes bigger , like man this was from one of the fanfic so dark"
SOUL- " i would like to fuck his wives to ....
ROB-".....(disgusted face)
SOUL- " don't look at me like that if the women are 10/10 and have such skills and that mc enjoys it i would fuck them i was a virgin before i died remember , if i have to be a pevert , douch bag , cheater , asshole , to get some of that godlike pussy i would become the greatest degenerate of all . i would draw a line between sex and love and incinerate the love part of me so i would never get hurt by break up & cheaters . This world is a battlefield it is either fuck or be cucked . I would be the biggest scumbag than rather get hurt .( tears weald up in his eyes )
ROB-" ok i am sorry i didn't mean to hurt your feelings my friend ,(hands on soul shoulders) you think that you will never be better lover to anyone , you think you would never be able to give happiness that your loved one need , you thought you were never a better son to them , so you chose lust over love to never feel the warmth of love it is a rose that has thorns and chose lust as a drug to escape all the love that feels like a burden to you isn't it "
SOUL- "(hugs rob and cries) i am scared really really scared i don't know how i will survive in the outside world i was cooped up in my house in my bubble now it has broke , i don't want my heart to be broken and alone in world . i have hated those mc i fear i will become one of them , i don't want to make a harem or be in a single relation bullshit i just want to be the guy that women want to fuck not love , i want to be the guy that housewives fuck when they find out their partners is cheating on them , i wanna be the guy that bullies & villain fear ,a strong person that's who i want to be ."
ROB-" so that's what you really want ha , it's ok if there really was a skill i would have given it to you sadly there is no other skill left ."rob sighed sadly he really wanted give the soul a nice hentai skill but all of that was gone to those worthless reincarnators
SOUL- " thanks for the comfort i will not waste much of your time . i want some fire power , i can still be shot dead by a tank its time to up my game (hands rubbing)(evil grin ) i want some alien powers "
ROB-" and what would that be ?"(curious)
SOUL- " they are
1] KLYNTAR SPECIES: VENOM , CARNAGE , SCREAM , ANTIVENOM , RIOT , TOXIN , SLEEPER , SCORN
2] MALWARE , UPGRADE (BEN 10 )
3] SCP 999
ROB-(SHOUTING)" HATS OFF YOUR KARMA POINTS HAVE TOTALLY EMPTY
AND IF YOU ARE WONDERING HOW YOU GOT THIS MUCH KARMA IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSE TO DIE THE LADY BESIDE YOU AT THE TIME OF YOUR DEATH SHOULD BE DEAD SHE HAD A GREAT LIFE AND DIED HAPPY , AND YOU WERE A VIRGIN BEFORE YOU DIED PLUS YOU WERE MY 1st CLIENT SO I HELPED WITH THE KARMA AND AS A BONUS YOUR POWERS CANNOT STOLEN FROM BLOOD , CELLS ALL IN SOUL ANY CAPTURED PART OF YOU WILL DISAPPEAR SO NO NEED TO WORRY ABOUT GOVERMENT CREATING YOUR CLOANS WISH YOU LUCK TO WHATEVER WORLD YOU GO "
SOUL- "THANK YOU"(HAPPY)
ROB- "SORRY FORGOT ABOUT WHAT CHARACTER SKIN YOU WANT THE SAME RULE IS HERE ALREADY TAKEN CANNOT BE TAKEN TWICE "
SOUL-" fuck almost forgot about that , let see i know for a fact that most of the anime ,manhwa , actors & manga skins are already i only have some villan and some superhero used let see i chose this ."
ROB-"that's domineering "
SOUL-" that's the idea "