A lil open up again this book or novel is a dump of words you guys might wanna curse me for what I have done- and im serious.
Today, I woke up tired and low in energy.. Why?
I had such a great sleep
"I walk through the hall and head to the kitchen"
I start my chores not eating from sweeping, arranging their beds and cleaning in general. I remembered Another day ill have to
face only a glimpse I have you and your are off with them and this girl.
I've been having a fear of what she'll do. What will you do.
You're getting too close to her.
Its getting fishy of how she interacts you.
How desperate she wants to be beside you.
A winning thought in mind is saying they will be together, you will be left alone ~ forgotten... Weak.. waiting for him and what?
Its all repeating on my head. "WHAT IF"
I feel like a prisoner of my own thoughts
I thought no..
Im not gonna be alone
I'll have someone behind me too
No, Im not weak
Why would I wait if he's all day with her..
Acting so proudly shes showing you around.
I've already offered you my life and my soul
and I never saw the slightest where is your appreciation
I was sinking in my thoughts.
As I was playing a guy complimented my skills
Of loneliness, I regret what i had done this time..
What did I do?
I cheated..
Not once.. nor twice.. Yes..
Three times
I felt so wrong but kept acting strong for no reason I shown him that I have more options than you.
I thought It'd make him stay away from her..
But no ..
He slept with her .. kissed her ... what not..
I had never done those nor share any part of me..
But cheating is cheating.
I think I deserve to be hurt
I guess its fair
And yes he didn't just do it once
Who Knows, God knows how many they did but as for i know they did twice.
Why did I cheat in the 1st place..
Im probably mentally ill
I have more than I can type out.
I cant specify it
but.. I still love you to the extent that its not healthy anymore..