Sessions got over by 3 pm today. Our Psychology professor, Mrs Ross gave me detentions for dozing off in her session. Well, I couldn't help it. Her lectures are the most boring thing in the world. I respect her but, couldn't she make criminal psychology a bit interesting so that everyone could grasp the basics well?
I was made to stay back in the college till 5pm. Detentions were for everyone in our college, both seniors and juniors alike. I had an hour long talk with Mrs Ross. She stated that she isn't satisfied with my performance anymore. Yes, I am not satisfied with my perfomance as well. My scores are constantly dropping, below 75 degrees Fahrenheit. I can't help it. At times, being the topper becomes a burden, with all the expectations from the professors and mostly, the most expectations from yourself. It feels like being hit on the face with a bullet train when you let down everyone.
To my surprise, first year of college is really exhausting.
Right now I just need a peace of mind. I quickly arranged every thing in my bedroom, owing to my OCD, and dashed out to the kitchen to help mom with cooking.
"Seraphine Wilson, elaborate your reason for getting a detention from Professor Ross. " Mom commanded narrowing her eyes pointing the ladle at me.
"Mom, I dozed off again. Sorry." I dramatically joined my hands and apologised.
"Seraph, let me take you to your aunt tomorrow. Prevention is better than cure. She'll detect your problems with ease. " she stated while chopping the spring onions which was tearing me up.
My aunt is the most trusted and the most popular psychiatrist in the city. Mom had been insisting me on visiting her because of my 'insomnia'. She's worried about my health since I'm so sleep deprived but since I had turned down each one of her requests, karma is working really hard to force me to accept it.
"Mom, can't we wait for another week? I've been this way for as long as you can remember right? Sleeping is the most difficult thing for me in this world. I'd rather be a scientist than sleep. And what help would visiting aunt offer? She'll just recommend me meds as always, which will obviously not help because no amount of pills had ever made me sleep, not even a wink." she seemed to agree to my statement as she slowly nod her head but quickly.
"Mom, sorry for the dropping marks. I'm really working hard on it. I will top this time as well. Believe in your daughter. " I assured her while dramatically beating my chest like I'm Tarzan.
"Honey, it's not about the marks, but your health. I don't care if you have failed. What matters is whether you have tried your best or not. If you fail even after giving your best, it's fine with me. The same goes for your father. But to be able to give your best, you need to get energy, and you'll get that from sleep. But that's your problem. You don't sleep and if you do, it's during your sessions which will contribute to the best you're giving. Understand? " she was stating facts as always. My heroic mom.
I helped her make the salad and my favourite Kimchi.
"Yes mom. I got it. I'll try my best to sleep tonight." I reassured her but both of us are well aware that even if I try I'll just end up laying on my back staring blankly at the ceiling.
I decided to make the desserts while mom worked on the roasted chicken. Taking out the fruits from the fridge, I microwaved them for sometime with sugar powder. I love strawberries, cashews, cherries blended with thick milk. Desserts gonna be enticing and scrumptious tonight!
"Honey could you go buy the groceries? We've run out of them. Buy parsley, coriander, cabbage, tomatoes, carrots... " the list went on even before I could reply whether I could go or not. Typical Asian mom.
I ran up my room to get changed. I wore my brown trech coat over my oversized woolen sweater and skinny jeans with my cresent moon pendant dangling from my neck, my lucky charm.
All the dressup just to buy groceries. Dramatic!
"Honey! Buy a dozen of bananas, apple, and don't forget the pineapple. And also..." I could hear her distant voice from the garage.
"Yes mom. I'm off now." I shouted as I drove away. I could still hear her distant voice saying goodbye as I drove further, likely to happen when you have a mother who is an opera singer.
The supermarket's three miles from our town so I decided to listen to some r&b to chill myself. I have a gut feeling that something omnious is about to take place.
Driving pass the gas station, I spotted certain black cars following me. From the rearview mirror, I could spot 6 identical black cars. Am I being paranoid or am I mistaken that they're following me?
I feel like I'm in a James Bond Movie, like a spy being chased by six identical black cars sent by the villian. I expect them to soon puncture my tyres with shots from their expensive gun resulting in my car flying upside down with me bleeding like a lunatic. But by the time they surround me I'll be no where to be found. Ha! So dramatic.
I quickly speed up without any second thoughts and the next moment, I reached the supermarket.
I looked through the rearview mirror again only to find them parking their car parallel to mine. Parking my car I thought whether I should get off of my car or not. Taking criminal psychology and researching about them has heightened my fear to the thousandth level. Had I taken any confidential papers while researching about the current serial murderer? Has he sent these black cars with armed forces to killl me?
No. Seraph. You have all rights to get off of your car and buy groceries. I have a pepper spray and... Um... A water gun, not helping at this situation at all. Funny ay? Anyway why would they kidnap anyone out where there are people everywhere? People are flooding in and out the supermarket every now and then.
Mustering up courage from every nook and corner of my body, I swung the car door open in fear. I finally stepped my right feet on the ground tilting my head slightly to see if anyone had come out of those cars. My heart is palpitating, my breath quickening and my head is spinning in fear, planning escapes had they try to kidnap me.
Standing tall on the ground, I finally found the courage to look at the direction where the identical six black cars were parked. What?! I saw old ladies coming out of each car holding the hands of their chauffer. They were dressed elegantly, sparkling and laughing. I forgot that this supermarket has everything, from casino to groceries, attracting people from every class, poor or rich.
I sigh in relief and also embarassment. When did I become such a coward?
It can't be helped when you are currently investigating on the serial killer who mercilessly chops his victims in such a cruel manner that their whole identity is swept away like a wind. He chops them finer than a pro butcher and chefs chops their meat. I don't have a will to be chopped to minute particles yet my interest in this particular killer is growing everyday. I want to put him behind bars and eventually deliver him a death penalty.
The entrance door automatically opened revealing a young lady, who I guess is a new employee, greeting me with a smile.
After exchanging greetings, I decided to head to the grocery lane. As usual, the supermarket is buzzing with people from all walks. I could spot a couple making out in the corner in the far end of the grocery lane. I could spot an old lady trying to convince her granddaughter who was begging and crying for a barbie doll.
I haven't been to anywhere, not even the nearby shops, for the past few months due to my projects and studies. It feels nice to be out in the environment once again. I love watching people, in a good way, instead of movies. The reality in it makes it more interesting and beneficial than binge watching fictitious series in the tv, like mom does. It reminds that I'm not the only one suffering and prevents me from pitying myself. But I don't watch like a stalker. I just see a glimpse.
My favourite songs were being played to which I was dancing to internally and mouthing them silently. I slowly walked across different sections fishing my hands in my pockets and finally stopped by the small yet collective library.
My hands, as if they're made for books, moved on their own and picked out 'The Guest List by Lucy Foley' and 'Still House Lake' by Rachel Caine. I usually read suspense and thriller books and these two seems interesting. I decided to buy 'Songs of Achilles' as well as it was blowing up in the internet.
Taking those three books in my excited hands, I reached the grocery after passing by three other lanes. I rolled the trolley up and down the grocery lane face-timing my mother as she had more to add to the grocery list.
All the vegetables were as fresh as dew in the morning. Scents of various fruits mixed together in the air appealed to me so strong that I bought them, secretly trying to create a perfume out of them. I bought milk and bacon as well and finally rolled up my trolley to the cash counter with all my might.
"So much grocery shopping for a young lady like you? Are you gonna go in a hiding? " The Cashier, who looked like who was in his mid-thirties, joked as he laughed heartily. I just laughed along.
"The sum up is 60 dollars, young lady." he smiled with a concerned face. Maybe he thinks that I'm too broke seeing the way I dressed up. Well, I don't look that expensive. Or maybe he's just suspicious?
I really feel like I'm going into hiding with this much of grocery. Like 60 dollars on grocery!! Mom!! This is why you're gaining weight and making me gain more in the process.
After paying the bill, I rolled my trolley down the entrance and out to the parking lot. One by one, I placed the supplies on the back seat of my car. I decided to buy myself a piping hot coffee as it I was almost freezing. I went to the Cafè au Lait, the most popular cafè in our city. Whenever I get stressed out, Cafè au Lait has always been my stress relief.
I opened the French styled door which rings the bells as customers open it. It's such a pleasant sound. I sat down at the table by the window. It was lightly snowing outside and the French styled street-lights made it look like a scene from a romantic movie.
On a table next to me, I could hear couples arguing in a low voice. I tried to stop eaves dropping but I couldn't help it. They were talking about their child. Fron their conversation, they were divorced parents arguing about their child's custody. They start bringing up their past flames which led to their divorce.
This is why I'm afraid to fall in love. What if you fall for the wrong person in the right time? Or if you fall for the right person in the wrong time? Or if your love was only attraction. Not only you and your lover but everyone else involved will get hurt in the end. And I'll never let other get hurt because of me. I like romantic things but hate the idea if falling in love. I don't need a partner. I already have enough - mom, dad and my three younger sisters. No one in this world can love me like they do, leave alone love me more. Love. Love. What is love by the way? In a romantic manner.
I've never been in love, of course.
I have had my fair share of crushes and admirers but I push them away the moment they try to cross the line, the boundary I've set for our friendship. All because I'm scared. All because I don't want to end up like my friends. I've made lots of mistakes in my life but I don't want to make mistake in love. I have decided to never let anyone in, other than mom and dad. And I never will.
Just in time, just as the couple had left taking with them all the cliffhanger of their story, my coffee came and replaced the then dull and boring atmosphere. I looked around the cafè trying to read people.
On another corner sat a girl who looked like she's a high schooler. She was crying silently, tears dripping down on her coffee. She sat like a statue, not moving a bit but trembling a little. The boy sitting in front of her had his hands covering hers, he was trying to comfort her. Next to them was an elderly couple reading a book together while sipping their coffee with a shared straw. They were smiling and teasing each other, reminding me of my grandparents. They're cute. But then it reminded me of how I'll never find someone who'll look at me like I'm their world, like I'm tthe mist precious thing in their eyes.
On the counter, the employees were busy giving out supplies to the customers. They are busy bees, working 24/7 to tend to the customers' thirst for their coffee. One of the employee who always took my attention was Cerose, as they'd call. A tall, lean and fair Asian boy who always smiles for his customers, no matter how bad or good his day went. He's a student struggling to live through each day, supporting himself, his brother's studies and his mother's hospital bills. He's one of the many reasons I visit this cafè when my day goes bad, because at the end of the day, all we need is a smile to cheer us up.
After enjoying my time and getting positive energy from whatever I've watched today, I decide to get going. I stood up as straightened my coat and paid the bills. I decided to buy the famous couples' coffee for mom and dad, which comes in two heart-shaped cups with the best quality of coffee latte.
Carrying the cups with both two of my hands I opened the door with my back, which I should have never done as I bumped into someone. Hard. But, that's not the problem. I splashed all the coffee on their coat!!!!
I bowed and kept apologising as the person stood like a stone, rooted to their place. Of course they'd be angry, I had spilled all the best quality thick coffee in their coat which looked expensive as ever, the quality was quite unmatched with mine.
As they were just standing rooted I quickly handed them my handkerchief.
But I got no response. In the meantime, the employees quickly came with a mop and cleaned the splattered coffee on the floor.
"I'm extremely sorry. How can I compensate for i-?" Words got stuck on my throat as soon as I lifted my head and our eyes met. He stood tall, as I could estimate, about 6 feet. He had a beret fixed on his head under which strands of his curly jet black hair peeked out. He had half of his face covered with a black woolen scarf which looks like the most expensive scarf I've ever seen. I'm broke so I can't stop estimating the costs. His eyes were beautiful brown, decorated with thick eyelashes. His eyebrows were dense, contrasting to his fair skin.
He just took off his coat and hanged it on the neck of the nearest chair and proceeded walking past me. I just stood there processing what had just happened. He took off his coat and acted as if nothing happened. Is he that rich? Or is he just acting to be cool as everyone's watching?
The smell of his perfume lingered in the air. It was fresh yet somehow smoky. Forget it. Right now.
I feel so embarassed. Should I ask him once more how I could compensate for his coat? Or should I just let it go since he didn't mention anything? No, that would be so uncivilised and impolite of me!
I turned my heels and went to the seat where I was sitting before. He had taken my spot. He was sitting there in the most suitable posture for a prince, one leg crossed over the other and sitting with a straight posture. He was looking outside the window seeming mesmerised by its beauty.
I cleared my thoat and that was enough to steer his attention to me.
"I'm extremely sorry sir. I was being careless. Is there anyway I could compensate for your coat? Or if you're okay with it, I'll clean it right now for you." he listened to each and every word intently.
"You can compensate by buying me the same coffee with which you spoiled my million dollar coat. And yes, you can clean it now, but in front of me, as I don't trust strangers. " with that he steered his attention back to the window.
Did he just say million dollar coat? Hahaha... Million dollars for a coat? I could pay off all my college fees with that! Why do people waste so much money?! Mom and now this person! Anyway, it's their loss. What have I to do with them? And just rubbing the coat clean will not get the stain off. I'll have to wash it with detergents or at least a soap. We both have trust issues, don't we? I can understand you.
I bought another couple drink and sat down in front of him holding his 'Million dollar' coffee. "Thank you." he 'said' in a toneless yet polite voice. He was surely not at all thankful.
I poured a bit of water on my handkerchief and rubbed the coffee stains slowly so as not to engrave it and mess it up. It's was a long stain and as far as I could estimate, if I use only water and my handkerchief, it will take me whole night. Even then, the stain might still remain. But, his peace of mind and for mine as well, I continued to do so, while my mind was screaming 'washing machine' over and over in a robotic voice.
He finally came back to reality and chuckled when he saw the couple drink.
"So is this why the coffee stain was stickier and stronger than the usual coffee? "saying those while never breaking eye contact with me made me second guess the meaning of his words and to be honest, they are not very innocent.
I just smiled it off. The stain is neither getting off nor blending in with the colour of the coat. None of the tricks I'd learnt from 5-minutes life hacks YouTube videos are working. I shouldn't have subscribed them, they were just fooling us. On top of that, all the money that I've got are spent. And I'm real broke right now.
After waiting for sometime, as the piping hot coffee cooled down a bit, he nodded to himself and pulled off his scarf and tied it into a beautiful neck scarf around his chest. My peripheral vision were focuses on him. Something about him screams mystery and thriller and had he been a book I would have bought him right away.
Once again, while sipping his coffee he turned his attention was steered back outside the window. Just then, I got a moment to finally look at his full face. His eyes were of beautiful almond shape, mesmerising and his light brown orbs were somehow sparkling in the light of the street lamp. His lips were aa bit plum but not too much that they'd look obnoxious. His jawline was sharper than any jaw I'd ever seen, sharper than mine of course. His face looked as smooth as a baby skin and his skin was glowing under the lights. To conclude he's one of the most handsome men I'd ever come across. That's it. It's not like I'm interested.
As said before, I love studying people. He seems quite elegant and respectful. And I don't think he's faking his wealth as his manners screams high class.
My hands did their work of cleaning the stain while I was thinking of how I will escape as soon as possible. It's so uncomfortable to be near him. I could've just paid for it, why did I volunteer to clean it? Well, when I said I'll clean it, I meant the washing machine and dry-cleaning.
"Your coffee is getting colder, miss. You should have them lest you wanna waste that much money on a coffee."he stated smiling cheerfully, the cold face suddenly disappeared. Another clue, he's manipulative and smart. You'll see why I said that.
It was becoming difficult to refuse as he was waiting for me to pick up the cup. I picked up the other cup for myself and drank the coffee. The thick taste of latte made me calm down all at once. It's so refreshing. Now we were both drinking looking out of the window. I felt better now. Just as I felt the guilt fading away, it hit me like a bullet train again, two times harder this time owing to the 'million dollars'.
"Excuse me sir, I am not that loaded right now so I don't think I could pay your million dollars but if it's okay with you, can I go and wash this in the laundry? And since you have trust issues, we could go together."
I finally spoke up as it was our second cup. Everyone had left and only the owner and one staff remained. And mom had been calling me thirty times already even after I had messaged her that I'm with my friend.
He chuckled and followed by a smile he replied, "Sure. Let's go."
I went to the counter to pay the bills broke but a hand came past my shoulder from my back with a black card.
"Let's go" with that he opened the door for me, holding another pair of couple drinks on his other hand. I, holding his heavy coffee stained coat, just followed his lead. We went back to the supermarket up the laundry. I did the necessities while he just sat down on the bench and watched me curiously as if he hasn't seen anyone doing the laundry. I ignored him and thought of all ways I could remove the stain.
After about one hour of doing everything I could, the stain finally got off by luck and quickly dried it. Now, it looks a lot like before. Happy and satisfied yet guilty and sorry, I went to him and gave it to him whilst apologising.
"Thank you so much sir for giving me a chance to rectify my mistakes and thank you for being kind enough to buy me drinks. And lastly, I'm extremely sorry."
Once again I bowed to apologise.
He chuckled. "Please stop apologising, miss. Thank you so much for sparing your time and being kind enough to drink with me and on top of that, you cleaned my coat as well. I hope that we meet again soon. Its was nice meeting you." saying what he wanted he held out his hand for a handshake.
I took his hands and the moment our hands touched, I felt a spark travel down my spine and butterflies in my stomach.That was the most intense feeling I've ever felt in my whole life. Shaking off those feelings, I quickly pulled back my hand and after saying goodbye, I turned to leave when he called me again. My cheeks were burning up already in the cold weather due to unknown factors.
"Yes sir?" I maintained a toneless voice.
"Take this, miss. I'm sorry about the coffee scene. I guess you were getting them for someone special." with that he handed me the couple drink he had been holding the whole time.
"It's okay sir. I'm the one who should apologise. Please don't apologise. Thank you so much but I can't take it. It will make me feel guilty. "he made me feel more guilty than I already was.
But he insisted with a beautiful smile, which didn't work on me. But, I was forced to take it as he said he'd feel guilty if I didn't take it. I ended up taking it. Bidding goodbyes, I quickly got into my car and drove back home. Had he been a book, I would've bought him and read every chapter at once. The mystery and suspense he exudes are really overwhelming. He'd make such a good suspense actor.
After parking the car, I quickly took everything inside with mom and dad standing in the doorway questioning where I had been. Typical Asian parents check. But soon they helped me carry everything inside.
"Sweetie, why were you gone for so long? Did anything happen back there? Your mother was so worried." Dad has always been the one to take my side when mom's angry.
Before I could say anything dad spoke up, "I knew that my daughter will be back in one piece. "he earned a good beating from mom for saying such a thing. To cool down the atmosphere, I handed them the couple drink. They were taken aback.
"It's for both of you. Mom, dad. A couple drink. " I winked at dad and he quickly got it. "Thanks sweetie. I've made the best dinner for you. Enjoy. Love ya. " with that he carried mom who was holding the coffee and soon they're off to... Well you can imagine the rest.
Dad surely did make the best dinner. The table was full of deliciously mouthwatering food. It didn't take me long to sit and munch on them. Scooping the rice, I poured placed Kimchi on top of it and coiled a layer of bacon. Gosh it's perfect.
"Sweetie, uh... There's a note on the package. Your name's written on it." Dad came out confused.
"yeah dad. What note?" they never leave notes on couple drinks. If they did, it's usually the price tag. I quickly put down the fork and rushed to my dad.
"Here" Dad handed me a small piece of paper. As soon as my eyes fell on those five words written on the black piece of paper heart palpitated, beads of sweat formed in my forehead, breaths got heavier and I felt my head spinning. I feel my already crashing world crumble down.