We spent days and nights talking, I loved listening his stories and he listened well to all my problems. We met once a week and done everything we want without having the fear I will get pregnant again since he was sterile. At first, he wanted to keep our relationship a secret but then his mother saw us together. His mother liked me a lot which made me happy.
A couple of months later, we agreed to meet to talk only. So we went on a ride in the car and talked all the way. Then there was a moment of silence,
"If there is something wrong, please tell me honestly." I said.
He took a minute to think then replied:
"I'm sorry, but I don't love you. I still love my ex-wife"
His words entered my heart like a knife. I loved him like no other person I met before; he was everything for me.
"It doesn't matter, I love you so much and I'll stay there for you." I replied
Through all our relationship, I was tortured by Daniel's actions toward me. Plenty of times he would not reply to my messages or call me, but I didn't give up, I stayed with him.
One night, when I was about to sleep, I received a message from Louis. He was back and he wanted to see me. The next day we met at a café. "Where is the baby?!" He asked the minute he saw me. I told him that he was at home with my husband. But why did I lie, maybe I didn't want him to think that I was weak without him. We had coffee together and he spent the whole time apologizing and giving me excuses why he never came back, but all I did was nodding.
Maybe I wasn't happy with Daniel, but I knew there was no more room for Louis in my life. After six months, I couldn't bear it anymore, so I sent Daniel a message that everything between us is over. I knew that would hurt me, but it was better than staying with somebody who doesn't love me.
From that day, I left college and started working in a coffee shop to stop thinking about Daniel. I also used to stay out late since the minute I sit on my bed I started crying. All of this happened and my father didn't know anything. He was too busy with his wife to ask. On the other side, Suzi, my aunt knew some things but not everything. I didn't want her to feel afraid and think about me all the time.
Our anniversary day arrived, I was alone, so I decided to spend this day all by myself. My parents went out, and I prepared dinner for myself and watched a comedy movie to have some fun. While I was watching my movie, the phone rang; it was Daniel asking for his gift. We had a small fight, then I turned off my phone and started crying. It has been three months since we broke up and I couldn't forget him, but why did he send me a message if he didn't love me and everything is over. That questions ran my mind all night or maybe he wanted me for his desire only.
The next week, my friend asked me to go out with her and her friend. I didn't know whom her friend was and she refused to tell. Then there he appears, he was Daniel. I didn't say anything since it has been a while since our break up and I thought maybe my feelings stopped toward him. The whole ride we tried not to look at each other, even my friend felt that there is something between us. When it was time to leave, I felt pain in my chest, the pain I felt when I left him the first time. "Oh my God, I still love him." I wanted to hug him tight but I couldn't, so I called him when I arrived home.
"I miss you, I need you back." I said immediately.
"I miss you too." He replied
I thought that Daniel figured out that he loved me too, but I was wrong. The only thing he wanted me back is for his own desires. His behavior was the same. Although I wanted him to love me, but I didn't care. All I wanted was to stay with him and call him in the middle of the night to tell him my weird fears, and he listened to me. He always makes me laugh, he also stayed awake until I calm down.
One night, Daniel told me that he was getting engaged and he wants me to stay with him since the whole idea was his mother's. At first, I got angry but then I understood his situation. That night of the engagement, Daniel called me in the middle of the night. He was crying when I asked him what is wrong:
"How I will marry someone who I don't like even. My heart is still with my ex-wife and I can't do anything about it but nobody understand."
I was silent for a moment then replied trying to calm him down: "Please stop crying, we will find a way to get rid of this fiancé together, now go to bed and have some sleep."
He closed the phone and slept, but as for me, I stayed all night awake thinking about him. It was the first time I see Daniel crying in that was. I started thinking what is the most thing that make a girl run away from a guy even if she loves him. Then it hit me, it is his attitude and the bad behavior, so the next morning I called Daniel:
"I found it!" I said before anything.
"First of all say good morning, second what did you find?"
"I found the plan to get you out from this leech, and sorry good morning."
"Then say what is it???"
"Treat her the way you treated me, I mean don't give her any attention. She will hate you immediately."
Daniel liked the idea; every night he told his fiancé he wants to sleep and turned off his phone. Then he calls me from another number and chatted.
A week passed, and his fiancé couldn't bear it anymore so she left him. Daniel called me and thanked me for staying beside him and giving him this plan.
Then it happened that I met a guy in college, his name was Alvis. He was kind and a gentleman. He asked me for coffee and I didn't say no. We chatted a little then he asked:
"Aren't you in a relationship?"
"It's complicated" I replied.
I told him the whole story and he immediately advised me to break up with him. Daniel was not for me and I knew that, but I was too scared accept the truth.
"I'll be with you and help you will get over it." He promised before we went home. That night, I had a fight with Daniel and we broke up
Days and days passed, months passed, Alvis and I were getting closer. Although we hang up every day after college and had so much fun, I know Alvis was just a friend. Something in him made him afraid of commitment, but I never asked him why, on the other side, I was afraid too to get into a new relationship. One day I asked him the reason why he doesn't have a girlfriend yet, and he answered that it isn't the time for love. So I was grateful for Alvis for helping me get out of my depression and finish my year with good grades.