Rui wasn't sure what to expect, but what he went through was beyond his expectations.
The worst part about the Mindmirror Symbiote was that the information on the experience of having your mind invaded was scarce. The doctors could explain the process technically, but no one could tell him what he was going to experience inside his mind. No one could tell him that. Because no one alive had undergone the process and survived it.
The only information was records of the recounting of Apprentice Valem Deen, the only other confirmed and recorded Martial Apprentice to ever master the Mindmirror Symbiote in the Kandrian Empire. His recountings of the mental takeover phase were incoherent. He used vague flowery language to describe it and wasn't very informative.
He had described the process as a loss of everything, including himself as he fought a battle against the shadow of the symbiote until he finally woke up to realize he was still alive.
