She ❤️ Her
Chapter 1
3 years ago
Now Playing: Circles - Post Malone
Seasons change and our love went cold
Feed the flame 'cause we can't let it go
Run away, but we're running in circles
Run away, run away
Ellen Calling...
Hininaan ko ang volume ng stereo at sinagot ang tawag.
"Hey, Ellen."
Ellen: Zakki, don't forget the meeting ha, 9 am sharp mag - s start yon. Ayaw ni Ma'am sa latecomer.
I looked at my watch. It's already 8:30 am. I looked at the car in front of me, nahihirapan din sya mag overtake, rush hour problem.
"Yes, I know." Sabi ko habang nag hahanap din ng lusot. I admit it, talagang na late ako ng gising kanina, sorry, sobrang pagod lang eh, 12 am na kaya ako naka uwi from Bataan.
End.
Just like what I expected, around 8:45 ay naka rating na ako sa basement parking ng building, and thank God merong isang vacant space pa malapit sa pinto, but then I saw a white Hyundai Eon na nauna sakin at papaliko na sa lane na yun.
"Agh! Sorry, bawal ako malate, mapapagalitan ako." Saka niliko ko bigla ang sasakyan ko sa opposite way para mabilis akong makarating dun sa vacant space.
"Hi, manong, sorry talaga, Nagmamadali ako. Zakkiyah Montemayor - ALF Ad." Sabi ko sa guard habang patakbong papasok ng building.
At kapag sini swerte ka nga naman, puro puno ang elevator kaya lakad takbo akong pumanhik hanggang 3rd floor, then I looked at my watch, it's already 8:54 am and nasa 10th floor pa ang office namin, but then saktong bumukas ang elevator at marami ang bumaba dun kaya tumakbo ako papunta dun at hinawakan ang pinto para hindi sumara.
"Wait lang."
Napahinto naman ako nun when I saw who's inside. Kapag sini swerte ka nga naman, nakakasabayan mo talaga yung taong pinaka iniiwasan mo.
Ayoko na sanang sumakay ng elevator but I had no choice. Ma lelate na talaga ako. Ayaw pa naman ng Ad Manager namin ang taong late.
"Nakakainis talaga yung driver ng puting MG 6 na yun kanina, ako na yung nauna sa lane na May vacant space, nag cut sya at inagaw yun." Sabi ng bakla habang nag ma maldita ito sa kasama nito.
Napatingin naman ako nun sa reflection nila.
God, sya ba yung driver ng Eon kanina?
Then I caught Adriana looking at me habang nag tataray pa rin sa kakareklamo ang bakla. Yeah, Adriana's her name, Adriana Alvarez, yung taong ayaw kong maka Sabay. Anyways, she knew I own that car. Okay, this is some kind of embarrassing, hindi naman kasi ako mang aagaw, I just needed to do that.
Ting!
"Tara na bes, jusko pag makita ko yung driver nun naku! Kawawa talaga yun sakin... pag sasampalin ko talang yun." Sabi nang bakla habang naglalakad palabas Sabay tapon ng makahulugang tingin sakin.
At katahimikan.
"I think I know someone who owns that car." Adriana said, then she looked at me and smirked. "Oh, Was that your car, Miss Montemayor?"
Di ako sumagot.
"Dapat kasi maaga kang nagising."
I looked at her reflection. Ayokong makipag debate sa kanya kasi amin ko naman na May kasalanan ako.
Agh! Also, this is one of the reasons why ayokong nakaka Sabay sya. Because we always ended up arguing unless otherwise, pababain ko ang pride ko at isiping senior ko sya, yeah, we're working in the same company, she's in Marketing/Advertising Strategy and Promotion and I'm in Research and Analysis Unit. And by the way, she was my... ex——lover but more of a fling, we never had a label but we do things what lovers or partners do, and yes by the way, I'm gay, oh no, more of like bisexual.
"Well, I saw RJ's posts, I love your shots."
"Thanks." Kaswal na Sabi ko. RJ's my ex too, pero magkaibigan kami ngayun, and yep, si RJ ang kasama ko sa Bataan, niyaya kasi ako ni RJ mag raket dun, kinuha kasi siyang mag cover ng kasal. Anyways, I do photography as a hobby and sometimes pinag kakakitaan ko rin. Sa photography kami nag kakilala ni RJ, we went to the same university at naging member ng photography club.
"But still, hindi yun excuse para ma late ka at mang agaw ng parking space na Ayon sa tao kanina eh sya ang nauna."
Okay, shut up na ako. Agh.
I really hate it when she's like this. Pakielamera na bossy.
Ting!
At pareho na kaming nag exit ng elevator.
"Thank, goodness, akala ko nag MIA kana ah." Sabi ni Enzo habang tinataasan ako ng kilay.
I looked at Mrs. Aldeguer, advertising manager namin.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am."
She looked at her watch. "You're 15-minute late."
"Yeah. I'm so sorry about it."
"So can we start now?" Sabi ni Enzo.
At nag simula na kaming mag meeting.
——-
——
—
-
"Hi, cafe macchiato for the beautiful lady." And that's Laurence, he's from Production Services.
"Thanks, I think I really need this." Sabi ko Sabay kuha ng kape na ina abot niya.
Sighed. The meeting went well naman though May lutang at kapalpakan moments pa ako kanina.
"Sana naman sinabayan mo ng pa pancake, Mr. Delloso.." Tukso naman ni Ellen Sabay nguso sa and nito. "Alam mo ba di pa kumakain yang si Zakki."
Laurence smiled and looked at me. "Di ka pa nakapag breakfast?"
Umiling ako.
"Di mo kasi sinabi sakin, Sana binilhAn nalang kita ng pancake."
"Nah. It's okay. You don't have to... utang ko na nga sayo tung kape eh... magkano tu?"
Tumawa ito. "Funny ka ah. Libre lang yan. Gusto mo date nalang tayo?"
I looked at him Sabay taas ng kilay. "You know, Enzo's a bit hard on me earlier."
"Mukhang sayo nga lang sir mabait si sir Enzo eh." Sabi naman ni Clark, bunso saming apat sa R and A.
Di na lingid samin sa company na bet ni Enzo si Laurence, at pinag iinitan ako lagi kasi Ayon sa kung sinong source na yun eh gusto raw ako ni Laurence, when in fact we're just really good friends, ka batch ko kasi sya na na hire dito sa company and also we're of the same age.
"True, pare." Sagot din ni Dexter Saka Tumawa. "Matagal ko nang pinapadaanan ng charm yan eh Pero mukhang ayaw talaga sakin."
At natawa kami. Chubby kasi si Dexter.
Then I looked at Laurence. "Ahmm. Salamat dito."
"So?"
"Ano?"
"Ayaw mo talaga ng date?"
"Laurence.."
"Joke, samahan lang kitang kumain sa labas. So, can I spare an hour with you? Later? I will take you to an early lunch since di ka pala nakapag breakfast."
"Guys! Free snacks from Miss Adriana's team, they sealed a deal yesterday kaya pa blow out daw nila!" Sabi ng Admin namin habang May hawak itong karton.
"Wow! Timing ah, Sir Nato, Ano tu?" Tanong ni Clark Sabay tingin sa laman ng karton.
"Siopao, gusto mo? De joke, Chicken Sandwich. Ayan." Sabay abot dito ng chicken sandwich.
Then I looked at Laurence.
"So? You still coming?"
"Ahm... I —"
"Chicken sandwich." Sabi ni sir Nato Sabay lagay ng sandwich sa table ko.
Then I noticed Adriana looking at us.
Fiber glass divider lang kasi ang partition namin from her office.
Then i shifted my eyes to Enzo's office, by the way, dalawang teams pala ang meron ang M/A S and P, kay Enzo and Adriana, and ang dalawang tu ang nominated para pumalit kay Mrs. Aldeguer bilang Marketing/Advertising Head namin next year, mag re retire na kasi ito.
Then I looked at Laurence.
"Baka sa susunod nalang." Sabi ko, nakita ko kasing masakit ang tingin ni Enzo.
"Ahm, excuse me, Mr. Delloso, tawag ka po ni sir Enzo." Sabi naman ng staff ni Enzo kay Laurence.
"Okay. Susunod ako." Sagot nito then he looked at me. "I think I already knew the reason why you turned down my invitation... again." Saka nag lakad na ito papunta sa office ni Enzo.
It was already 9:30 at ako nalang ang naiwan sa office, may tinapos lang akong report na kailangan ni Mrs. Aldeguer bukas ng umaga. Pwede ko naman sanang itake home Pero ayaw ko, Baka kasi maka tulog lang ako at di ko matapos, di pa kasi fully recovered ang katawan ko sa pagod.
Kaka off ko lang ng switch nang bumukas ang pinto sa conference room. Agad akong napalingon dito, akala ko kasi mag isa nalang ako.
Again, it was Adriana. Agh! Pag siniswerte ka nga naman, Anyways, tanggap ko rin naman na di ko sya maiwasang hindi sya makita at maka Sabay kasi iisang kompanya kami.
Sighed.
So, nag lakad nalang ako palabas at kunwari di ko sya nakita. But then nagka abutan parin kami sa harap ng elevator.
"How's your day?" She suddenly asked.
"Well, mejo hard ng konti." Kaswal na Sagot ko.
Then the elevator opened at pumasok na kami.
"Bad shot ka raw kanina kay Enzo ah."
Tumango ako. "Accidentally kong natapunan ng tubig ang papers niya kanina sa meeting...kaya ayun."
"And aside from that... napagalitan ka pa raw ni Mrs. Aldeguer..."
"Yeah...12 na ako naka uwi kagabi eh, Tapos di pa ako makatulog kaagad...well, I admit, May pagkukulang din ako, napasarap tulog ko kanina. And also, nawawala ako sa focus kanina habang nag memeeting, parang lutang."
"Tsk tsk. Next time kasi pag May meeting ka especially with our bosses eh wag kana muna rumaket, yan tuloy, napagalitan ka." Then she looked at her watch.
Ting!
"Grab something before you go home." Sabi nito saka nauna nang lumabas ng elevator.
I looked at her. Though I still missed the old Adriana I knew, I can't deny na that there's a lil gladness in me whenever she acts like she cares, but the fact that I still remember clearly the reason of this tension and awkwardness whenever she's around, parang Malabo na atang bumalik ang dating kami bago pa naging komplikado ang lahat.
Flashback...
"What do you mean you cannot?" I furiously looked at her.
"I cannot.... I just can't... Tyrone came back and he wanted to work things out with us again."
"What the hell? Akala ko ba Sabi mo sakin wala na, wala ka nang nararamdaman para sa kanya?"
She stood up and looked at me. "Look, Zakki, we can't be together, I'm a woman, I want a man for me, and Also, I wanted to have a family of my own."
"What..." at parang naubusan ako ng mga salita, yep, yan ang pinakamasakit na narinig ko sa lahat ng mga babaeng nakasama ko. "P-Pano tayo?"
Umiling ito. "There was never an us, never will be." At tumalikod na ito at nag lakad palabas ng cafe.
At naiwan akong tulala habang pinaprocess ang mga sinabi niya.
So, Ano pala yung mga nangyari samin? Joke lang? At ang mga sinabi niya sakin? Biro lang din ba? Eh yung Mga pinangako niya? Wala din ba?
At napapikit ako bago ko tuluyang hinayaan ang luha ko na dumaloy mula sa mga mata ko.
We were more than friends but less than lovers for almost 8 months... less than lovers because we never cared to put label to our unknown relationship status... and now, she's leaving me hanging because her long time boyfriend, her ex, came back.
It feels like, ginamit niya lang ako sa mga panahong hindi pa handa ang boyfriend niya sa commitment.
Rebound? Was that the right word to describe what am I to her?
I sighed as I remembered that day clearly on my mind. Though I am trying my best to move on after what happened a year ago. I still can't deny the fact that whenever I remember it, parang dinudurog ng paunti unti ang puso ko.