Once the pizza arrived, Reed and I went into the living room and watched a movie, sitting on the same couch and eating our meal. Sometimes, he'd give me a bite of his slice, smiling as the cheese would continue to stretch for a moment or two, then break and hang off my chin. He didn't seem to mind manners at all which made me grateful because at the time, all I cared about was having food.
I continued to glance at him when he watched the movie, studying his profile and putting it to memory. It was weird being happy and free when so much of my life was spent being afraid and depressed. I was hesitant when Reed told me to be myself last night but came to find out that he smiled more often when I did, laughed even. He was happier because I was doing what I wanted, which wasn't what I expected, but I was surprised, nonetheless.
A knock on the door made Reed pause the movie and get up. I pulled my feet up under me and breathed in, finding it peaceful. When he returned, he had a grin on his face. "Why are you smiling like that?" I asked suspiciously.
"Why wouldn't I?" he says, sitting beside me.
"What's going on?"
He thinks for a moment, shrugs, stands, and holds out a hand. "I'll show you."
I raise a brow which makes him chuckle. "Do I want to see?"
"It's nothing bad, I promise!" Hesitantly, I take his hand and let him pull me up the stairs and towards – what I found out this morning – his bedroom. He opens the door, then goes to his closet and opens that. I gasp. "Just let me know if you want anything else," he says with a smile.
Clothes upon clothes upon clothes that had to me mine were on one side of the closet, leaving no room for more. Dresses, shirts, skirts, pants, shoes…. everything I needed was there, even undergarments.
"Take a look, I'll clean up downstairs," Reed whispers. I nod, smiling. When I know he's gone, I squeal like a five-year-old and jump in, loving all the clothes and even the accessories I hadn't noticed before. Taking out a navy-blue blouse and a pair of jeans, I scrambled to the bathroom to try them on.
They fit perfectly! I went back to the closet and found a beautiful moon necklace and a pair of black flats. I saw drawers and squealed some more. There were bras, underwear, and makeup. Though I don't do makeup like other girls, I still put on some to help with appearance. When I was finished with my look, I ran downstairs and looked for Reed.
I found him in a room I've never seen before, looking like a library of sorts talking with someone on the phone. The door had been open, so I didn't think I was trespassing or interrupting, but then Thrain appeared and blocked my way in. "He'll be done in a minute, Luna. Why don't you go wait in the living room?"
Deflated, I shuffled back to one of the couches and sat down, seeing the movie was still paused and ready to go. I wasn't sure why I was down suddenly. Maybe because I thought things had changed, but Reed was still an alpha, still had responsibilities that protected the pack. He didn't always have time for me like I really wanted. I couldn't change his rank in the pack, nor did I want to because it made him the one person who could protect me if I needed it, but I wished that he weren't the Alpha so then I could get more time with him. I wanted to believe that this was real…
"Simone?" I heard behind me. My heart sped up and I looked to see him walking up. "You okay?"
"I'm fine," I lied and stood up hesitantly.
He paused a few feet away and stared at me. "You're not fine. Something is wrong."
I didn't meet his eyes. "I'm just a little distracted."
"Simone, tell me what's going on."
"It's nothing," I shrug.
Before I knew it, he was in front of me and cupping my face. "Tell me what it is. Did someone hurt you? Did you not like something? Did I scare you somehow?"
I shake my head truthfully and grabbed his wrists. "I promise, Reed. It's none of that. I just had a thought and it was stupid." But was it stupid…? Now that I think about it, I could be right.
"Are you sure?" he asks, stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. "I can't help you if you won't tell me what's going on."
"I'm sure," I say but I know he's not convinced. His eyes still look worried and his body is tense, but he doesn't ask any more questions. To move on and distract him from my problems, I twirl. "Do you like it?"
"You look beautiful," he says with a smile. "I love it!"
This comment makes me smile and I look up into his eyes. "How old are you?"
His smile broadens. "Twenty-six."
I give him a once over and furrow my brows. "Really?"
He chuckles and nods. "I'm serious."
"You don't look twenty-six. You look like you're twenty."
This makes Reed laugh and I feel it ripple down my spine, sending tingles throughout my body. It's a good sensation, one I've never really experienced before. I liked it. "Better than looking any older," he replies and moves a lock of hair behind my ear.
I smile and feel a blush on my cheeks. "What are we going to do now?"
"You tell me," he whispers.
I remember him in the room on the phone and flick my eyes down, my smile gone. "Um…how about I finish the movie and you go work a little."
Now he's back to being tense. "Simone—"
"I'm serious, Reed. You're an alpha. You are supposed to be working to keep the pack together."
I hear a low growl and look up to see he's frustrated. "Why does it sound like you don't want me to go work? Why do I feel like if I do go work, I'd be doing the wrong thing?"
I widen my eyes, surprised he caught on to my emotions so fast. "Reed—"
He shakes his head. "There are reasons why I'm not working right now! I could work, but at the current time, I'm all caught up! I caught up everything before I met you! I only work once, twice a week in my office. The rest I spend doing whatever until someone needs me!"
My eyes tear up. "Then go see if someone needs you!"
He glares at me, angry and confused at my reaction. Without another word, he leaves the house, growling words under his breath. I realize what I've just done and can't help but give burst into tears. I pushed him away when he was only trying to help. The only person I might ever be able to trust…left out the door. I knew he'd come back, but I had no idea when or if he'd talk to me.
Going upstairs, I find the clothes I had been wearing before and put them on, feeling unworthy to wear anything he bought. When I put everything back, I left the bedroom and shut the door, looking for another place to be for a while. I saw a few bedrooms but didn't think I'd be allowed to use them. Then, in the hallway, on the ceiling, I found a handle. Curious, I pulled it.
A square piece hung off the ceiling and a ladder came down to land at my feet. Smiling, I went up, folded the ladder up again, and closed the door. I found myself in an attic type space with dust motes everywhere and very few boxes. I also found droppings from something small like a mouse but didn't care as I rested my back against the wall, closed my eyes, and sat there.
A noise caught my ears and I looked around to find a rat scuttling across the boards, sniffing about and picking up random things to nibble on. It looked up at me with beady black eyes before sneezing and going back to its activity. I was not scared of rats, but they were disgusting creatures. I had no idea how it got up here but didn't care if it stayed away from me.
Sighing, I thought of Jerom, my mother, Alpha Roniston, and Reed. I wished Jerom were here, so I had someone I knew to talk to. He'd know how to make my spirits go up right now. He had always been there, but now that he's gone, I felt awfully alone. It hurt to see Roniston tear into him like he did every time I shut my eyes. I hurt to see the blood staining his fur and his body not responding to my pleas. It hurt to think Roniston would do such a cruel thing, but somehow, I knew he'd done worse.
I stayed up in the little space for what felt like hours, silent and resigned. I didn't care anymore if I was safe or not, or if Reed was my mate. The only reason I stayed in the house was so that we wouldn't be out in the woods again and I wasn't being chased. I didn't want that. So, hiding inside was my only option, and even though I knew it would make him pissed off, it was the only way I knew how to be alone for as long as I wanted. I didn't care if he couldn't find me, I just cared that I didn't have to look at his sharp green eyes again. I would never get his anger out of my mind, and it was directed at me. I didn't want to know what he'd do when he got back and found me…it was a nightmare I did not wish to enter.