Touch me Marissa, make love to me now!, Joan repeatedly cried which made me feel hot and since I love her I couldn't resist her. I looked her in the eye and kissed her gently then torrid and my tongue found its way on her mouth, tasting the sweetness of hers. I touched her everywhere which made her moan. She took off my top and panty then took my fingers to place it on hers. I was hesitant but feeling her again is a dream come true. After all these years I have been longing to be with her and having sex with her is the best blessing ever, for someone who is in love with the woman of her dreams. I held her and made her cum, again, and again, and again. I was sorry for doing it and felt guilty while making love with a married woman but I love her too much to resist her. And she is my one and only girl, who got away because of a freaking accident.
We were like mermaids under the bright and calm full moon. Joan and I are free to love, to make love and share this wonderful moment after five years of not being together, toughing, talking or being one through sex and love.
Joan felt safe and loved. I felt cared and my longing quenched, filled with happiness and peace with my love. Which, made me feel worse than before. When reality sets in and I came back to earth from the heavenly feeling of sex and cum, I knew that what I did was wrong. I kissed Joan and this would be the last thing I'd ever do for her again. My face changed from joy to sorrow. I held Joan's hand and kissed it, then tears fell from my eyes, saying sorry for what I did and about to do. I hugged Joan so tight that I didn't want to let go, let go of her, of the feeling, of my love for her. But it's about time I did. She is no longer mine. She is Peter's and I am her friend, her past love and nothing more than that. I took her to the river line and put her clothes on and mine. I smiled when she held me in her arms and she is a picture of a happy, content woman, but it'll not be for long, for I won't be with her again after the luncheon date tomorrow with Peter and her friend. I decided to stay friends with her but to forget about the past and our past together so she could live a more meaningful and happy life with me as he best friend and that's all there is to it.
I wrote Joan a letter and explained why I needed to keep my distance from her. I needed to do it because I don't want to ruin her peaceful marriage with Peter. He is a good man and he is worth living with for, and she would be lonely if it were me she chose to be with as a partner. It was a long letter and I intend to keep my word so I can see Joan, Leila get old and live a full life with everything she wanted to do in her life and for others.
At the luncheon, I met with Vitoria and some of Peter's colleagues and business partners who I will be partnering with the cruise line and company we are putting up this coming fall. I was silent and kept on looking at my gold watch which made Joan worry. I told her I'm fine and that I am so glad I met her again. I didn't regret what happened between us last night and would do it again if given the chance which is definitely never as I told my mind the reasons why we can't go on with the affair.
I held Joan's hand and kept it on my arm as tight as I could since this will be the last time I would see her sweet, beautiful and innocent face.
I gave her my letter when I left their mansion. I asked her forgiveness when I declined to come with her to the ranch. But I insisted that we can do that when I come back from a conference in London. I also told Lillian that I found her mom and gave sent her photos and videos of Leila with Peter. I explained to her why she doesn't need to come and talk to her since both of us was part of a memory which would only haunt her since we both lied having an affair while I was with her. I couldn't take the pain and regret away but doing this is the right decision to make Leila or Joan happy. Forgetting her past maybe is the solution for her to move on and remain happy, unstained from the cruel and hateful world she lived in. Which shouldn't have happened if I protected her and loved her enough, and more.
Before Lillian and I decided to get engaged I did that just to save face since I was famous and Leila missing made me feel that I lost everything even my soul with what happened. But when I reunited myself with the new Leila who is Joan, now. I realized that I still have hope and changing from the ugly person I was to the new kinder, more compassionate, generous and loving being now. I know there's hope for you and me to make this world a better place by changing how I think, feel and see the world, the people and goodness.
Joan read my letter that summertime in their ranch and cried. She felt like losing a heart, she knew that she love Sasa and remembered everything they were before. Joan knew the lies, the weaknesses and the womanizing, but she still loved Sasa as she is and accepted her. But she respected Sasa'a decision to keep away. But Joan promised herself that when she is ready and she is capable enough to stand on her own and save Sasa, she will, one day. Now it's her turn to save and love Sasa in her own way and terms. She hopes and pray that she's not too late to do that for her one and only love.
Sasa left New York and lived in London. Lillian got married to one of our managers in New York named Melvin, a nice and funny guy that she had been seeing for two years now after we broke our engagement publicly. I am happy for her and she is happy for me to have found my peace. I have been doing a lot of soul searching and found my peace through arts. I did painting, from nature to huts, to sunsets to scenic views, I was good at these pieces which I was able to sell on EBay and Amazon for a couple of hundred or thousands of dollars. I still have my companies and filed my retirement at the age of 50 years. I still manage and own my companies which I handle online but my lawyer friend and Managing Directors are the ones doing the hand and mind works for me. I am busy with charitable works of various institutions such as for the Elderly, LGBTQIA +, Orphanages and Cancer patients which I help every now and then to support them in their financial and emotional needs.
I remember at the luncheon that Saturday, Joan introduced me to Vitoria, Peter's childhood friend back in Milan. I didn't know that Peter is Italian and that at the table he mentioned that he saw Joan at one of the elementary schools there up until high school. Peter is the only son of the old house down by the block that Leila and I used to steal roses from. Well, the elderly lady was Peter's grandmother and that she was so happy every time we visit her garden and take (not steal, as the old lady always tell her husband) some of her flowers to smell it and or I would place it on Leila's ear and do mine after.
Hmm...he knew Leila even before the accident happened and maybe he also remembers me from the past. He knows that Joan is Leila from Milan. Now, I felt that I'm getting sick to the stomach and that I'm about to puke from panic. What if he already knew about me and Leila and our relationship as lovers? Peter smiled at me and when I was about to stand to excuse myself for the restroom, he stood up ahead of me and raised his wine glass. He called out for me thanking that I was a great help to Joan, remembering her past and what happened to her then. He continued to praise me as if I'm a hero and that I have done many things to make his wife comfortable with her own identity now. I sort of bowed and gave everyone, who I think, about eight of us in the long extravagant table full of flowers and garlands in the middle and sides of the flickering like gold wood. Joan smiled and shouted, for she is a jolly good fellow....and so on. Well, talk about the olden days singing that song, imagine that, I never thought Joan or Leila could even sing a note.